A Little Thing Called Love
by Xaleria07
Summary: AU  Two childhood friends that now hate each other. Two dreamers who share the same dream. Two sex friends who can't admit their true feelings. Two pen pals that will meet for the first time. And two boys who will have to fight everyone to be together. These are the stories of ten men who came to realize a little thing called love.
1. Tsukishima & Hachimenroppi 1

**A Little Thing Called Love**

**Summary:** (AU) Two childhood friends that now hate each other. Two dreamers who share the same dream. Two sex friends who can't admit their true feelings. And two pen pals that will meet for the first time. These are the stories of eight men who came to realize a little thing called love.

**Rating:** M for cursing and sexual themes

**Pairings: **Shizuo/Izaya, Tsugaru/Psyche, Delic/Hibiya, and Tsukishima/Hachimenroppi

**Hello everyone! So this was originally supposed to be a completely different story, but as I started writing it and working out the plot, it just ended up not making sense. However, I did love the little subplots I planned for all the characters, so I decided to use them to make this series of short stories instead. **

**Each story will focus on one pairing. In a way, they're all tied together. And I'm not sure how long each story will be (as I may end up writing more or less for each). But I hope you all can enjoy this story till the very end~! Thank you!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters.**

* * *

><p><strong>Tsukishima &amp; Hachimenroppi<strong>

_I hate myself so much. No one, not even you, cares about me anyway. So I just want to end this life of mine…_

Hachimenroppi tried his best to steady his fingers as he typed out this message. His scarlet eyes never left the screen or betrayed any emotion, though he bit his lip with a little worry and his body slightly shuddered. He thought about what he was doing, about how he was going to end his life.

Next to his computer was a switchblade. His eyes flickered to it briefly. The silver of the blade peeking out from the handle seemed to mock him as it glinted in the moonlight that flooded into his room from his window. He briefly reached out for it, but then remembered he never sent his message to his parents.

He turned back to his computer screen, not really paying attention as he typed out the end of his letter and their email address. He then pressed send. It was only his brief moment of hesitation that saved him as he looked at the blade then back at the screen to make sure the message sent first. That was when he noticed the address was wrong.

"Damn!" he hissed, realizing he had sent the letter to someone else. But he figured it wasn't really anything to be worried about. Most likely the stranger would ignore the message thinking it was spam or just get freaked out and delete it. Sighing, Hachimenroppi moved his mouse to resend the message but stopped when his computer made a beeping noise, signaling he had a new email.

Out of curiosity—because no one really emailed him besides a couple of online friends—he looked at it. It was a response from the stranger he had accidentally sent his letter to. It only said a few words.

_Don't do it. I care._

Hachimenroppi didn't understand why his hand shook so much, causing the mouse cursor to fly all over his screen. His scarlet eyes widened with shock as his mouth slightly gaped open. He suddenly felt a bit lighter, like a burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He didn't know why, but this stranger said he cared.

When no one else, not even his parents, had ever bothered about him because they thought he was strange or pathetic, here was this complete stranger saying he cared. A stranger who didn't know him. A stranger who read his deep, dark secrets and his desire to end his life. The absolute worst thing a person could first learn about another. This stranger had seen the true side of him, and yet this stranger still cared about him.

He wasn't sure whether it was out of relief or if all the emotions that had built inside of him just finally exploded, but he broke down and cried.

And then he smiled for the first time in a long time.

* * *

><p><strong>Shirosukaafu<strong>(1)**:** Hello Mia-san! Are you doing well today too?

Hachimenroppi looked down at his computer screen with a small delighted smile on his face as an instant message window popped up. He always looked forward to his messages from Shiro-san, who never failed to send one every day since ever the day they first met. The day he had wanted to kill himself. But that was a long time ago—about two years—and he was still here thanks to Shiro-san.

**Miaka**(2)**: **Hello Shiro-san! I am doing fine. How about you?

**Shirosukaafu:** I'm okay too. ^_^ Any fun plans for the day?

**Miaka: **Hm, not really. You?

**Shirosukaafu:** I just have a class in the afternoon.

**Miaka: **Ah, your art class right? Are you enjoying it?

**Shirosukaafu:** Yes, it's pretty fun. You should take an art class too Mia-san!

**Miaka: **Thanks for the offer, but art isn't really my forte.

Hachimenroppi leaned back on his couch, trying to picture what Shiro-san looked like in his head. He could never really imagine anything that seemed to do Shiro-san justice. He imagined a tall man, dressed in simple yet stylish clothes, with a kind smile, but his face was always ever changing. Sometimes he would have brown hair and dark chocolate eyes, sometimes black hair and light grey eyes, and other times possibly a blonde with honey colored eyes. It was hard to pick what seemed right. He sometimes wished he knew who Shiro-san really was.

**Shirosukaafu:** Actually Mia-san, there was something I wanted to ask you today…

**Miaka: **Oh? What is it?

Hachimenroppi tilted his head in slight curiosity as he waited for Shiro-san to type a response. His next words almost made Roppi's heart stop as his eyes widened.

**Shirosukaafu:** I would like to meet you in person.

Roppi's hands froze above his keyboard. He wasn't sure what to type. His heart beat fast against his chest, panicking. Sure, deep down he wanted to meet Shiro-san too, but there were some…complications. First off, Shiro-san thought he was a _**girl**_. This was mostly due to the screen name he had picked, it being a girl name. He had picked up the idea from a friend of his online, who also went by a girl screen name despite being a man, and had just stuck with it as he found out more people were willing to tell a girl their secrets than a man. And he had never imagined that he'd actually meet Shiro-san offline as himself, even when they both discovered they lived in the same city.

**Shirosukaafu:** Mia-san? Are you still there?

Hachimenroppi briefly snapped out of his daze to peer back at the screen. He bit his lip in worry. He wasn't sure what to say. What would Shiro-san do when he found out the truth? Would Shiro-san hate him for lying? Or worse, would Shiro-san see who he really was and hate him for him? Would Shiro-san disregard him just like everyone else in his life? He didn't know what he'd do if he lost Shiro-san. Shiro-san was the only one who showed genuine concern for him. The only one who cared.

Shiro-san was special.

Taking in a deep breath, Hachimenroppi tried to remain calm as he slowly typed out a response.

**Miaka: **Ah, sorry! And that sounds like a great idea. Where would you like to meet?

As Shiro-san typed out a place, date, and time, Hachimenroppi felt his heart swell in anticipation. He'd get to meet Shiro-san. The one who saved his life. The one person in the entire world who cared about him.

He just hoped that when they finally met, Shiro-san wouldn't be disappointed with him.

He didn't want Shiro-san to turn out like everyone else.

* * *

><p><em>Hachimenroppi clenched his stomach as it growled and ached. He looked at the clock, wondering when the last time he had been fed was. He remembered a very late dinner last night. His stomach growled again, and he felt slightly sluggish and faint. He hadn't taken his medicine for the day, not knowing where his mother had placed them. <em>

_Roppi made his way to his mother's office where she was busily typing away on a computer, sometimes referring to a stack of papers next to her. Hachimenroppi walked up right next to her and tugged on the sleeve of her shirt. "Mother," he said. "I'm hungry." _

"_Not now, Hachimenroppi," his mother grumbled as she shrugged off his hand, never looking away from her screen. _

_He looked at the ground, dejected. Well, at the very least he had to take his medicine. He tugged at her shirt sleeve again, "Mother, where'd you put my medicine?" _

"_I'm working, Hachimenroppi!" His mother yelled this time, growing impatient. She roughly shook Hachimenroppi away from her, causing him to lose his footing and fall. "Why don't you go bug your father for a change?" She never looked away from her computer screen. "Honestly, why we ended up with a sick, useless kid like you, I'll never know." _

_Hachimenroppi left after that. He didn't want to hear anymore. He walked to his father's office this time, peering in to see the man sitting at his desk, going through some paperwork and taking notes. "Father?" The man didn't look up from his work nor did he respond. "Father, I'm hungry, and I have to take my medicine." _

_The man just sighed, "Hachimenroppi, I'm busy right now, okay? Can you just go ask your mother to make you something?" _

_Roppi gave up at that point. He knew he wouldn't be able to get his father to leave his work. His father never did anything but work. So he just quietly left, shutting the door behind him. He searched around for his medicine, finding it stuffed in a random drawer over an hour later. He took his assigned dosage and then attempted to make some food for himself. He ended up with burnt eggs, but he ate it anyway. He sat alone at the dining table, eating his burnt eggs, just like he did practically every night._

* * *

><p>Hachimenroppi's eyes fluttered open slowly and a scowl still marred his face. He turned over on his side, muttering to himself. He hated when he dreamed about his life when he was younger.<p>

Rolling out of bed, Hachimenroppi got up and stretched, heading towards the bathroom to wash up. After a quick shower and getting dressed, he commenced his day with making breakfast and reading the newspaper.

Today was the day he was supposed to meet Shiro-san. Butterflies were fluttering around his stomach and despite the delicious breakfast he made for himself, he couldn't seem to taste anything. He'd occasionally glanced at the clock, his eyes watching as it counted towards the time he'd meet up with Shiro-san. It went by so slowly.

Yet it also seemed too fast as Hachimenroppi suddenly found himself standing in front of the small café that Shiro-san had said they'd meet at. Shiro-san had said he'd be wearing the white scarf, which was befitting given his screen name. Hachimenroppi's scarlet eyes looked around, not seeing anyone in a white scarf, which was understandable given that he had arrived over half an hour early.

Hachimenroppi took a seat at an outside table and ordered a mocha latte and a chocolate biscotti. While he waited, he pulled out one of his favorite books to read, _1984_ by George Orwell. A few minutes later his order arrived, so he quietly sipped his latte, sometimes looking up from his book to see if Shiro-san appeared.

Five minutes before their appointed time to meet, Hachimenroppi saw him. It easy to not miss him, and Shiro-san was nothing like he had ever imagined.

He was tall and slightly lanky looking. He wore black pants, a white button down shirt with a black vest, and a white scarf around his neck. Circle frameless glasses were perched on his small nose. His hair was blonde and slightly messy which only made him look cuter, and his eyes were a deep scarlet like Roppi's own. His smile was soft and kind, even more so than Roppi had thought of. But what awed Roppi the most was the happiness evident in his expression.

Roppi tried to keep the beating of his heart steady as he secretly watched Shiro-san take a seat at the table next to his. A waitress came up to take his order and the smile he gave her was absolutely dazzling. Even the waitress was charmed as she smiled back and started to bat her eyelashes at him. Roppi was sure he had never seen such a person before.

Once the waitress left, Shiro-san started to look around with anxious, excited eyes. Hachimenroppi almost felt guilty. Shiro-san was waiting for him, and Shiro-san had no idea what he looked like. Hachimenroppi had just said he'd find Shiro-san. Shiro-san was probably expecting a cute girl to show up at any minute.

Roppi watched as Shiro-san glanced at his watch then looked back around the café. No one came to approach him. Roppi tried not to make his glances obvious by pretending to read his book, but he couldn't help his eyes trailing back to Shiro-san once in a while. The boy still looked upbeat and excited, despite the fact that Roppi was now technically ten minutes late for their meeting.

The hot chocolate and cookies the boy ordered then arrived. And soon they were gone. Over forty minutes had passed.

_Why hasn't he left yet?_ Hachimenroppi thought as he turned a page in his book, slyly glancing at Shiro-san out of the corner of his eye. _Isn't it pretty obvious I've stood him up by now?_

But…why was he standing him up? Why didn't he approach Shiro-san?

_I'm afraid,_ Hachimenroppi thought as he closed his eyes with a small sigh. _I don't want him to hate me…I don't want to lose him…but won't he hate me because I didn't show up? Will he stop talking to me now?_

Panic suddenly spiked in Hachimenroppi's chest as he thought about this. Why hadn't it occurred to him before? If "Miaka" didn't show up to their meeting, of course Shiro-san would get upset! He would stop talking to Miaka. Roppi would be all alone again.

But still fear paralyzed him. He didn't want Shiro-san to know the truth just yet. What if Shiro-san hated him more because he turned out to be a guy? What if Shiro-san thought he was pathetic just like his parents thought of him?

Hachimenroppi's thoughts were interrupted when a cell phone rang. He looked to his side to see Shiro-san sheepishly blush and answer his phone. "Tsukishima here."

_So his name is Tsukishima…it fits him,_ Roppi thought as he glanced back at his book but secretly listened in on the conversation.

"_Hey Tsuki, you meet that girl yet?_"

"Ah…"

"_She stood you up, didn't she? See, I told you she was bad news. Never trust anyone you meet over the internet._"

"You're wrong, Delic nii-san!" Tsukishima protested. "Mia-san isn't like that." Hachimenroppi's face suddenly heated up at that. Why was Tsukishima standing up for him? Didn't Roppi just technically dump him? Shouldn't he hate him?

"_But it's been almost an hour since you were supposed to meet and she's not there yet, is she? I'm telling you, she tricked you._"

"Maybe something just happened last minute and she wasn't able to make it," Tsukishima argued.

"_Wouldn't she call or text you then? That's the polite thing to do. Face it, Tsuki, she totally played you. You're just way too gullible, man._"

"No, Mia-san is different. She's wouldn't do this without a reason," Tsukishima insisted.

Hachimenroppi really wished Tsukishima would stop defending him. The guilt was eating away at his conscience now, and his heart beat faster against his chest. Why did his words make his heart swell so much?

"_Whatever you say, Tsuki. Look, I gotta go. I'll call you later, okay?_"

"Alright, nii-san."

"_And Tsuki?_"

"Yes?"

"_Don't let this girl break your heart, okay?_"

Hachimenroppi didn't understand why a sudden pain flared in his chest. Why those words cut at his conscience. Why those words felt like they were true. Was Hachimenroppi breaking his heart? He had never known what it was like to have someone care for him, and he had never cared for someone else. But he liked Shiro-san, or Tsukishima. He was special to Hachimenroppi. But just how special was he? Roppi didn't know.

Briefly, he allowed himself to look at Tsukishima again. Tsukishima had put away his cell phone and was looking at the people who walked by, searching for anyone that could be "Miaka". But "Miaka" was sitting at the table right next to him. But Tsukishima didn't know that. And for some reason, that hurt Hachimenroppi.

Unable to take it anymore, Hachimenroppi got up from the table, left the money for his bill, and walked away from the café. He didn't dare look back, knowing he'd see Tsukishima and his bright, smiling face, waiting.

Waiting for a person who would never show up.

* * *

><p><strong>Shirosukaafu:<strong> Mia-san? Mia-san, are you okay? You didn't show up yesterday, and I was worried something might have happened to you.

**Shirosukaafu:** Mia-san?

**Shirosukaafu:** Mia-san, are you alright?

_Miaka has logged out._

Hachimenroppi pushed his laptop away from him. He couldn't look at it anymore. Shiro-san, actually Tsukishima, hadn't given up on him. He still messaged Roppi every day. And while Roppi was happy, at the same time he was confused and frightened.

Shouldn't Tsukishima hate him? Why didn't he hate him? Why did he still send messages every day, asking if Roppi was alright?

"I don't understand you," Roppi whispered to he rolled over on his bed, pushing his face into his pillow. _Why are you still being nice to me?_

A memory flashed through his head as he recalled the last person who was nice to him.

* * *

><p>"<em>Are you okay, Hachimenroppi-san?" Eight year old Hachimenroppi looked up, his scarlet eyes brimmed with tears that he furiously tried to wipe away. There was dirt smeared across his face from where he had been pushed into the ground, and his knees bled as they had been scraped across the concrete. In front of him stood a boy who was about a year older than him. He was a head taller too with artfully messy brown hair and bright, grey eyes. He smiled down at Roppi as he held his hand out to him. "That was mean of them." <em>

_Roppi's eyes turned towards the bullies who snickered in the corner of the playground. He hated them but was too weak to fight back. So he tried his best to ignore them, except that didn't always work. He gingerly took the boy's—who he knew as Yamamura Ken from his class—hand and Ken helped him up to his feet. _

"_Thanks," Roppi murmured so softly it was almost an inaudible whisper. He began to rub the dirt off his face. He then looked down at his knees with a frown. His mother would scold him again for getting his clothes dirtied and bloodied. Ken's eyes also traveled to Roppi's knees. He dug around his pocket and fished out a band aid, offering it to Roppi. Hachimenroppi looked at it with confusion. _

"_Here," Ken offered, shaking the band aid in his hand to imply his action. "I get scrapes and cuts from playing all the time, so I always have a band aid." _

_Tentatively Roppi took the band aid from Ken's hands. He smiled shyly as he murmured his thanks again, moving to apply the band aid. When he turned back to Ken, Ken was smiling at him and pointing towards the playground. "Would you like to play with me? _

_Roppi looked towards the playground hesitantly, but seeing the look in Ken's eyes made him nod and follow slowly. They spent the rest of the day playing together._

* * *

><p>"<em>Ken-chan," a little girl whined as she leaned against Ken's desk. "Why do you hang around that creepy sick kid all the time? I thought you didn't like him." <em>

_Roppi clenched the book he was holding to his chest tightly as he held his breath. He didn't dare look beyond the sliding door as he heard Ken respond. _

_The boy laughed, shaking his head at the girl, "I don't like him. I only hang around him because his parents are rich, and my mom told me to be his friend so they could be friends with his parents. Hachimenroppi is a weirdo. If my mom didn't tell me too, I wouldn't bother with him." _

_There was a peal of laughter before a thudding noise interrupted them._

"_What was that?" a girl asked as they all turned towards the closed sliding door. One of them went up to it and opened it, looking down only to find a discarded book on the ground._

* * *

><p>Roppi frowned at the unpleasant memory. No one in his entire life had ever liked him for he was. Whenever someone saw him, they either saw a poor sick kid to pity or a gateway to his rich parents. No one ever saw Hachimenroppi as himself.<p>

Roppi lifted his head from his pillow as he heard his cell phone ring, signaling he had a new email. He flipped it open and the message popped onto his screen.

_Mia-san, did I upset you in some way? I'm sorry if I did._

The cell phone shook in his trembling hands as he stared at the message with surprise. Why did this Tsukishima care so much for him? A person he hardly even knew. They were complete strangers, and yet Tsukishima was also the only one who knew the real him.

The person who had wanted to die, the person who wrote poetry in their spare time, the person who loved Poe, the person who hated every human being on the face of the planet because none of them had ever truly cared for him.

Except for one.

This one human who had someone found his way past Hachimenroppi's stony, distrusting guard that Roppi had built up in his twenty-one years of life.

This one human named Tsukishima.

* * *

><p><strong>And thus I start off my new story with my favorite Shizaya alternate pairing! :) <strong>

**Also, just wondering, does anyone like the Shitsuo/Sakuraya pairing? I've been seeing some fanfics of them lately and the characters have piqued my interest. I'm debating whether I should add an extra of them at the end of this story or not, as this is basically a collection of Shizaya and their alternate personas love stories. So let me know what you think. ^_^ **

**Thank you for reading and reviewing (pretty please?)!**

**-Xaleria**

(1) I think I hinted at it in this chapter, but Tsukishima's screen name **Shirosukaafu **means "white scarf" which of course comes from the white scarf Tsukishima wears.

(2) Hachimenroppi's screen name **Miaka** is a Japanese girl's name that means "Beautiful red". It comes from Hachimenroppi's eyes. Also yes, Izaya was the one Hachimenroppi mentioned when he said his friend went by a girl screen name.


	2. Tsukishima & Hachimenroppi 2

**Thank you everyone for the lovely reviews! I greatly appreciate them. ^^ And also many thanks to those who alerted this and/or put it in their favorites! I appreciate all your guys' interest in my story. :D**

**And by popular demand, I will add a story about Shitsuo/Sakuraya too! :)**

**Onto the next chapter~**

**WARNING: **This story is rated M so it will contain boyxboy lime/lemon in later chapters. You have been forewarned.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters**

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><p><strong>Tsukishima &amp; Hachimenroppi<strong>

What was he doing here? Hachimenroppi looked up at the sign of the café he and Tsukishima were supposed to meet at a few days before. He had meant to go for a walk to clear his head and get away from his computer that only reminded him of his pen pal relationship with Tsukishima. And somehow his feet had led him here.

With a defeated sigh, Hachimenroppi walked to the table he had sat at before, a waitress soon rushing over to take his order. He ordered the same thing he had before, looking around with a bored and somewhat sad expression. He didn't understand why he came here, but he really had nothing better to do at the moment. And somehow he just felt like he had to be here. Probably because it was his one and only real connection to Tsukishima, the place where they had first "met".

Soon the waitress came by with his order, and Roppi spent his time eating his biscotti and drinking his latte while reading a collection of short stories by Edgar Allen Poe. Half an hour later, Roppi looked up from his book to check his surroundings out of boredom and almost choked on the piece of biscotti in his mouth. His eyes widened slightly as he stared at the young man walking towards the café and taking a seat at the table next to his.

Tsukishima sat at the same table he had before, pulling the strap of a brown messenger bag over his head and setting it down on the seat behind him. An auburn haired waitress then rushed up to Tsukishima's table and smiled at him. Roppi noted it was the same waitress that had served Tsukishima the other day. She batted her eyelashes in an obnoxious way as she made her voice as high and cute as possible. "Hello there again. Will it be the usual hot chocolate and cookies today as well?"

Usual? Today as well? Did Tsukishima come here regularly? Quickly, Hachimenroppi masked his surprise, hiding his face behind his book although at the very top he peeked over the worn pages to watch. Tsukishima gave the waitress that dazzling smile of his as he nodded and thanked the waitress. The waitress only smiled back and went off to place his order.

She then came back outside to make sure all the customers were doing okay, stopping by the door to chat with another waitress in an excited voice. Although he hadn't meant too, Roppi, sitting closest to the door, happened to overhear them.

"Ahh! Tomo-chan, he came again!" the auburn haired waitress squealed to her friend, her eyes slyly glancing back in Tsukishima's direction. "He's so cute! I'm glad he's been coming here every day. If he becomes a regular it'll be easier to get closer to him."

"Aww, you're so lucky Hana-chan," her friend, Tomo, smiled. "Do you think he comes here because he's interested in you? He's been coming every day since he first came here, and that's the day you served him. And he does smile at you all the time."

"Maybe, but I don't think so," Hana frowned as her eyebrows crinkled to show her dissatisfaction. "I've noticed he's always looking out at the street, as if he's waiting for someone to come by. Maybe he's waiting for another girl?"

_He couldn't be waiting for me, could he?_ Roppi thought as he tuned out the rest of the conversation. His facial expression contorted to one of shock and confusion as he was torn between feeling guilty and elated at this new discovery. Tsukishima had come to their meeting place every day it seemed, and he was still waiting for Roppi to show up. But why?

_Why do you wait for someone who has already ignored you for so long? _Roppi thought with a frown. Why was this man so confusing? Why wasn't he like everyone else? Not that Roppi wanted Tsukishima to be like everyone else, but it was hard to come to terms with the fact that maybe, just maybe, this person truly cared about him because Roppi was afraid.

He was afraid that one day this friendship, this relationship that they had, would one day be broken. That he would find out it was all just a lie, and Tsukishima would leave him. Just as his parents did, and just as Ken did. Tsukishima wouldn't care for him anymore, and Roppi would be all by himself again.

And even if it was a bit selfish, if Tsukishima still clung to him because Roppi ignored him and treated him badly, he wanted to do it just a bit more.

Just so that, even if for a little while, Tsukishima would care only for him.

* * *

><p><strong>Shirosukaafu:<strong> Mia-san? Mia-san, are you there? You haven't been online in a while.

**Shirosukaafu:** Hello Mia-san?

**Shirosukaafu:** Mia-san, please answer me. I'm really worried about you.

**Shirosukaafu:** …Mia-san? :(

_Shirosukaafu has logged out._

Hachimenroppi's hands stood poised over the computer keys as he stared at the words on the screen. He had almost begun to type a response, but Tsukishima had logged out. Did that mean he was tired of Hachimenroppi? Was Tsukishima beginning to hate him?

Fear paralyzed him as he quickly shut his laptop closed and abruptly pushed his desk chair back, almost falling over it. How long had it been since he had stopped talking to Tsukishima? It felt like forever, even though it'd had only been about a two weeks. But every day felt like an eternity as Hachimenroppi found that without Tsukishima, he was actually more alone than he thought.

A sudden urge then filled him. He wanted—no, needed to see Tsukishima. Needed to see that he wasn't alone, and Tsukishima still clung onto him. Looking towards the clock, Hachimenroppi noted it was almost the time he was supposed to have met Tsukishima at. Quickly putting on his signature black with red fur trim coat, he rushed out of his apartment and towards the café.

_Please, please, please,_ he inwardly pleaded, though to who he wasn't sure.

His heart raced with his feet, and he paid no attention to the weird stares he got as he dashed through the streets of Ikebukuro, his hometown. Once the café was in his line of sight, he automatically felt lighter, calmer, and his pace slowed to a walk. He looked up at the simple moniker of the café, La Petite Étoile. His eyes then traveled to the tables in front of the café, and there he was.

Oddly, he was sitting at the table Hachimenroppi had been sitting at before. He was seated with one leg propped up by the other, a large sketchbook leaning against it as Tsukishima bent down, intently focusing as his hand moved quickly with precise strokes.

He was still there. Butterflies fluttered in Hachimenroppi's stomach that he tried to force down as he casually walked up to the table and took a seat across from Tsukishima. "You usually don't sit here."

Out of all the things he had imagined himself saying to Tsukishima when they first met, that had not been one of them. But it was already said, and Hachimenroppi tried to keep his face calm as Tsukishima looked up at him with surprise, "I'm sorry?"

"I usually sit here," Roppi replied, inwardly chiding himself for such a pathetic response. What the heck was he doing? Didn't he say it was better to leave Tsukishima clinging to him? To not get to close to him lest this not be as good as it seemed? Why was he setting himself up for another disappointment?

"Oh, I'm sorry. I can move if you want me too." Tsukishima blushed as he began to put away his supplies. That was when Hachimenroppi finally noticed what he was drawing. It was a portrait of a girl, although her face was blank and her overall look very generic. Roppi could see erase marks from where features had been drawn in and then erased out profusely.

_So he was trying to imagine what I looked like as well? _Roppi thought with a small blush painting his cheeks, remembering how he had imagined Tsukishima various times. He could never get the face right either. "Who's that supposed to be?"

The question left his mouth before he realized what he was saying. He fought the urge to slap his hand over his mouth in embarrassment and shock. Tsukishima also looked taken aback by his sudden question. And then red suddenly colored Tsukishima's face all the way to his ears as he hid the lower half of his face in the folds of his scarf.

Hachimenroppi smiled slyly, trying to appear casual and teasing, "Your girlfriend?"

"No, she's not my…girlfriend…" Tsukishima murmured as his voice dropped at the last word. A sad look then entered his face.

"Oh, unrequited love?" Roppi tried to ignore the beating of his heart and the voice in the back of his head that was warning him against this. But he was finally talking to Tsukishima again, and he didn't want to lose this just yet. Who knows when the next time they would speak would be, if they ever did at all.

"I guess that would be what you call it," Tsukishima sighed as he wistfully looked down at the unfinished portrait. Hachimenroppi swore his heart froze at that moment. He wasn't actually expecting Tsukishima to say that. But then that meant…that Tsukishima _**loved **_him? Roppi really hoped his face didn't show how embarrassed and happy he felt. Tsukishima was the first one to ever imply a feeling of affection towards Roppi, and it made Roppi's heart soar with euphoria. Tsukishima did still care, despite all that Roppi had done to him. However, Tsukishima's next words sort of killed his buzz, bringing him back to reality, "But if I really think about it, I don't really know her, but at the same time I do."

"What do you mean by that?" Roppi tilted his head with curiosity, leaning forward as he saw Tsukishima blush again. He was kinda cute when he blushed…Shaking the thoughts away from his head, Roppi refocused again in Tsukishima, who wringed his hands nervously.

"Well, I've known her for two years now, and we talk, or well used to anyway, practically every day. I feel like I know everything about her. I know how she feels so alone because she was never cared for properly, how she's insecure about herself and others because she grew up not trusting anyone, how poetry and literature were her escapes from reality, how much she enjoys Poe, and how dark and bleak the world appears to her when she all she wants is to desperately see it the other way, but she doesn't know how to. I can say I know all this about her, but yet I've never met her or seen her in real life." Tsukishima smiled bitterly as his head hung down. "I could probably pass by her on the street and not even know it's her."

Hachimenroppi was silent. His heart was beating erratically against his chest as his body felt warm once again and there was slight fuzzy outline to the feeling. He felt like he was floating and at the same time falling. Tsukishima had no idea how right his words were. How exposed Roppi suddenly felt. "She sounds like a pretty strange girl," Roppi murmured, the smile on his face tight and forced.

"She's not strange!" Tsukishima suddenly raised his voice in defense, shocking Hachimenroppi. He saw a slight burning in Tsukishima's scarlet eyes as the young man insisted, "She's not strange…just unique."

Roppi twisted his hands together, looking at Tsukishima with a surprised look, "You must really like her."

Tsukishima's face burned as he once again became shy, hiding part of his face behind his scarf. "Yeah…I do."

Suddenly every negative thought Roppi had about meeting Tsukishima seemed to have disappeared. His body felt light and free, just like it had when Tsukishima first saved him. And here he was, saving Roppi again. Why is it that this man always knew the right things to say? The exact things that eradicated all of Roppi's insecurities and made him feel safe. Made him feel loved.

* * *

><p>"I never got your name," Tsukishima noted after he realized he and Roppi had been talking for hours. After their initial conversation, Roppi had somehow steered the conversation away from the "mystery girl" Tsukishima was waiting for and had started talking about each other. Roppi tried to keep most of the things he had said as Miaka to himself, but he shared a few things he had never told Tsukishima as Miaka. Like how he worked as a web programmer, his at home job so he didn't have to deal with people, and how he wrote short stories in his spare time. Tsukishima showed him his art, which was stunning. They were mostly sketches although there were some watercolors and color pencil drawings. Roppi was awed by the amount of talent in Tsukishima's work. He also discovered that Tsukishima had an older brother named Delic, and that the both of them were university students.<p>

Hachimenroppi was surprised when he noticed that he and Tsukishima had been talking for nearly three hours. Somehow it didn't feel very long or uncomfortable. In fact, their conversation was a lot like those in their IM chats and emails, except this time in real life. Roppi had missed talking to Tsukishima. "My name?"

"Yeah, we're friends now aren't we? Isn't it proper to give each other our names?" Tsukishima was giving Roppi that dazzling smile of his, and for a moment Roppi was dazed. He had never thought that Tsukishima would direct that smile at him.

He paused at first, hesitant to give Tsukishima his real name. But what harm was there from giving Tsukishima his name? It wasn't like his real name was close to Miaka. Tsukishima would never know who he really was.

"My name's Hachimenroppi."

"Well, it's nice to meet you Hachimenroppi-san. I'm Tsukishima."

"It's nice to meet you too." A small smile found its way onto Hachimenroppi's face, the happiness around Tsukishima affecting him like drug.

A drug he was slowly becoming addicted too.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm so sorry this chapter is short guys! I wanted to post something before this coming week as I'll be very busy and won't have time to update until after next weekend (unless I can somehow get some free time during the week). :( I promise the next chapter will be super long.<strong>

**Thank you again guys for the reviews and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! :)**

**-Xaleria**


	3. Tsukishima & Hachimenroppi 3

**First off, thank you for the reviews everyone (I'll reply to them all as soon as I can)! :) Secondly, I'm really, really sorry this chapter isn't super long like I promised. :( I really did mean to make it longer, but I felt bad that it has been over a week since I last updated. I wasn't home this weekend so I didn't have the time to write up the rest of this chapter, but I really wanted to at least give you guys something since it's been so long so I decided to put up some of what was written.**

**This chapter might seem filler-ish, but I do promise the next chapter (which I intend for it to be the end of Tsuki and Roppi's story) is going to be better.**

**But I'm so glad all of you are enjoying Tsuki and Roppi's story. And good news is I've decided to do Delic and Hibiya's story next! ^^**

**WARNING: **This story is rated M so it will contain boyxboy lime/lemon in later chapters. This chapter will contain just the very tiniest bit of lime (well, actually, more like implication of lime). You have been forewarned.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters**

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><p><strong>Tsukishima &amp; Hachimenroppi<strong>

Like those who got hooked on drugs, it was hard for Hachimenroppi to stop once he started. He never meant to, but somehow he always found himself standing in front of that small café, smiling and waving to Tsukishima as he joined him at the table that was now theirs.

They talked a lot, finding each others' presences comforting. Soon Hachimenroppi realized he had been meeting Tsukishima every day for the past two weeks, and it was becoming harder to see why he had been afraid to meet Tsukishima in the first place. But then he would remember that the person Tsukishima was waiting for every day was not him, and the fear and insecurity would return. So he just put that issue into the back of his mind, instead focusing on enjoying what time he spent with Tsukishima at the café.

"What are you drawing this time, Tsuki-san?" Roppi asked as he curiously peered over Tsukishima's shoulder. On the plain white sketch paper was a half drawn gesture of a figure. The figure appeared to be dancing, its arms thrown above its head in a fluid movement as the body curved in a slight S, the long legs of the figure crossed over each other.

"Ah, it's a figure project I've been working on, but I've been drawing it without a model so it's been a bit hard completing it," Tsukishima responded with a slight blush coloring his face.

"Oh, no one's willing to model for you?"

"Uh…actually, I was hoping you'd model for it." Tsukishima admitted with an embarrassed expression.

Roppi was taken aback by his sudden statement, the shock evident on his face. He stared at Tsukishima with wide eyes. "M-M-me?" he stammered. Soon he was the one blushing. "I couldn't possibly! I-I-I've never modeled before!"

"It's ok, you don't need modeling experience. All you need to do is to stand still for a while as I sketch, I promise that's it," Tsukishima pleaded.

"But…why me?" Roppi's voice was so quiet it was almost like a whisper.

"You have the perfect figure for it. Sort of androgynous, which is what I'm going for," Tsukishima told him. He looked at Roppi with large, pleading scarlet eyes. "Please, Roppi-san. I swear it'll just be this one time."

How could he say no to that look? With a sigh, Hachimenroppi nodded, "Alright. Just this one time."

Even though he didn't really like the idea of modeling, seeing the grateful smile on Tsukishima's face was worth it.

* * *

><p>Tsukishima's studio was a small place, but it was beautiful. It was a solitary building in the quiet part of Ikebukuro. There was a bottom entrance that led to a lower floor level that was set up just like a home. There was a large living room space with just a blue couch and dark wood coffee table. Next to the living space was an equally large kitchen equipped with everything a kitchen should have, and then next to that was a small dining room.<p>

Tsukishima then led Roppi to a narrow stairway that led up to the second floor. Once Tsukishima opened the door, revealing his actual studio, Roppi was awed. It was a huge room, taking up the entire second story. There were canvasses lined up against the wall, some covered and others displaying their bright colors for all to see. One corner of the room was set up full of drawers and containers, holding various supplies. There were also an assortment of random items scattered about, like vases and flowers. In the middle of the room sat an easel that showed plenty of use with paint splattered all over it.

"Um, what am I supposed to do?" Roppi wondered as he awkwardly stood near the door, watching Tsukishima rush about setting up his space. Tsukishima placed a blank canvas on his easel, pulling out various pencils, paints, and other things from his drawers and placing them on a small worktable next to his easel. Tsukishima pointed to the space in front of his easel, and Roppi noticed there was a small piece of blue tape stuck to the ground as a mark.

"Stand there please, Roppi-san. I'll come make your pose in a minute. Oh, can you also take off your shirt?"

"M-m-my shirt?" Hachimenroppi stuttered in surprise. "Why do I need to take off my shirt?"

Tsukishima blinked, looking confused for a moment as to why Roppi didn't understand his request. He then smiled sheepishly with a blush, "Ah, I forgot. This is your first time modeling. Sorry, I just need you to take off your shirt so I can see the contours of your muscle. I'll need it for my project."

Roppi felt his face heat up, and he hoped it wasn't too red. If he had known he would have to be nude for this, he might not have agreed. "Um…do—do I need to take off anything else?"

Tsukishima looked stunned by his question, and then his face profusely turned red. "N-N-no!" he declared while waving around his hands wildly. "J-ju-just your shirt is fine!"

Roppi let out a sigh of relief though he still felt slightly embarrassed. He went to go stand at the marking Tsukishima had pointed out and shrugged out of his jacket, hanging it over the back of a nearby chair. He then slowly pulled his shirt off, shaking his hair back in place once it was over his head. But then he found himself staring straight at Tsukishima who looked at him with a slightly surprised and awed look.

"Wh-what?" Roppi murmured in question as his cheeks heated up again. He suddenly felt the urge to put his shirt back on.

"Ah, sorry," Tsukishima blushed again, though he was smiling as he usually did. "I was thinking what a beautiful body you have."

Roppi wondered whether Tsukishima knew how his words affected him. Hachimenroppi never once in his life had ever been complimented, much less called beautiful. Being around Tsukishima must make embarrassment and blushes contagious because Hachimenroppi was sure he had never blushed like this before. "Um…thank you…"

Tsukishima only smiled at him, reaching out to ruffle Roppi's hair affectionately, "You're welcome."

_What a frightening man you are,_ Roppi thought as he watched Tsukishima walk back to his easel. _You have no idea how much power your words have over me, and how much I don't mind being a prisoner to them._

"Roppi-san, can you lift your arms up for me?" Roppi blinked as he suddenly realized that Tsukishima had stepped back up to him and how close Tsukishima was. They were barely inches away from each other.

"Like this?" Roppi lifted his arms and tried to copy the pose of the figure he saw in Tsukishima's sketchbook. But the blonde took one look and shook his head, moving closer to Roppi and grabbing a hold of his arms. Roppi almost jumped away, and the only reason he didn't was because faintly he reminded himself that would be rude. But his skin felt hot as Tsukishima's warm hands guided his arms to the position that suited him.

"There," Tsukishima affirmed with a nod of his head. He then focused on the position of the rest of Hachimenroppi's body. Roppi tried to resist the urge to squirm as he felt Tsukishima's hands slide down to his stomach, gently guiding it to turn at an angle. Tsukishima then bent down and positioned Roppi's legs to be crossed.

Roppi silently thanked whatever had compelled him to wear looser fitting pants today. He wasn't sure what he would do if Tsukishima took notice of the slight bulge in his crotch area. He shut his eyes tightly, imagining displeasing things to will it away. Dear god, how could he be getting turned on by this?

Finally Tsukishima's hands left him, and he sighed a breath of relief as Tsukishima headed back to his easel. "Are you okay, Roppi-san? You're a bit red," Tsukishima noted.

"I'm fine!" Roppi quickly insisted, urging Tsukishima to go ahead and start drawing. He didn't want Tsukishima to come and check if he had a fever. Hachimenroppi was sure he'd collapse this time.

* * *

><p>"You can rest now, Roppi-san." Tsukishima informed him as he looked over his canvas, smiling at the raven. "Sorry for making you stand still for so long."<p>

"No, it's alright," Roppi replied, stretching out his body to get rid of the stiffness. "It wasn't too bad." Roppi curiously walked up the easel, "May I see what you've drawn so far?" Just as he tried to peer over to the canvas, Tsukishima quickly blocked his view.

Tsukishima's face was red as he spoke, "No way! You can't see it until I'm done. It's bad luck for the model to see the picture before it's done."

"Oh," Roppi was shocked by Tsukishima's sudden outburst. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's alright, it's nothing to apologize for," Tsukishima quickly assured. "I'm sorry if I startled you." After an awkward pause and slight shifting from both of them, Tsukishima turned to Hachimenroppi, "Are you hungry, Roppi-san? I can make us something to eat if you are."

"Ah! No, that's okay, I'm not—" Roppi started, but as if it had intended to betray him, his stomach growled loudly, causing the raven to wrap his hands around it as he blushed with humiliation.

Tsukishima only laughed cheerfully as he led Roppi back the stairway, "I assure you than I can at least make a decent meal."

Unable to protest now, Roppi only gave in and allowed Tsukishima to lead him back downstairs to the kitchen, where they prepared dinner together, Roppi gathering ingredients and chopping them up, Tsukishima at the stove. By the time the sun began to set, two plates of hot curry were sitting at the dining table, steam rising from it and disappearing into the air. As Roppi took a seat, Tsukishima looked through the fridge, calling out, "Do you drink Roppi-san?"

"A little," Roppi replied as he heard the clanging of two aluminum cans against each other. He looked up as Tsukishima came up to the dining table and placed a can of beer in front of him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." The two of them then spent the rest of their night chatting as they usually did, drinking and eating in between their words. By the end of their dinner, both of their faces were pink with drunkenness and their words slow and slurred. Tsukishima was worse than Hachimenroppi, who hadn't drunk as much as the blonde had. It seemed Tsukishima had quite a liking for alcohol.

"Y-ye-you know, you re-hic-mind me of someone," Tsukishima said as he smiled stupidly at Hachimenroppi with a slight giggle.

"Do I?" Hachimenroppi questioned as he felt a bit giggle prone himself.

"Ye-yeah," Tsukishima murmured as he took another sip of his beer.

Hachimenroppi chuckled and reached out for the can, "I think you've had enough for the night, Tsuki-san."

But instead of Roppi grabbing the can, Tsukishima reached out and grabbed Roppi's hand. The can fell from the blonde's hand, tumbling to the ground as the beer inside spilled and made a small puddle on the floor. The raven was a bit startled by this action, "Tsuki-san?" But the grip on Roppi's hand just tightened as the blonde frowned. "Tsuki-san, let go of me, please."

"You remind me…" Tsuki trailed off, frowning as he looked like he was concentrating.

"Tsuki-san," Roppi's voice was more urgent this time, feeling Tsukishima's hands tighten only more. He wasn't sure whether blood was circulating to his hand anymore. He tried tugging on his hand, but Tsukishima didn't let go.

"Ahhh!" Suddenly Roppi found himself on his back on the ground, his hands trapped above his head by Tsukishima's as he stared up at Tsukishima's scarlet eyes with a bewildered expression. "Ts-Tsuki-san?"

"You remind me of her," Tsukishima said softly, his eyes searchingly looking down at Hachimenroppi's.

Although he tried his best to hide it, he was sure Tsukishima could sense how his body suddenly stiffened and how his expression suddenly became nervous. He wasn't talking about Miaka, was he? "Who?"

But again, Tsukishima didn't answer him, only frowned, "But you're not a girl."

"Tsuki-san, I have no idea what yo—" But Roppi's sentence was cut off as Tsukishima bent down and kissed him, making Roppi's eyes widen. To be quite honest, he had imagined before what it would be like to kiss Tsukishima, but he had never thought it would actually happen in real life. And reality was nothing like his imagination. Tsukishima's lips against his were soft yet demanding as a slick tongue made its way into Roppi's unsuspecting, open mouth. The taste of Tsukishima was sweet with a hint of the alcohol they just drank. Roppi fought the temptation to just melt into the kiss as his body felt like jelly, and he heard himself whimper slightly. He felt the same warm hands that had touched him earlier travel down his arms, chest, and lower to the waistline of his pants. Roppi's body jerked as his scream of protest came out muffled against Tsukishima's mouth. But soon his scream became a pleasured moan as Tsukishima gently kneaded his groin. Roppi shuddered against the touch, feeling his pants beginning to tighten with discomfort.

Both Roppi and Tsukishima gasped for breath when Tsukishima finally pulled away moments later. But then the blonde was on him again, his lips leaving a trail of slow, teasing kisses down Roppi's jaw line to his neck. Tsukishima stopped at the curve of Roppi's neck, licking at the skin there until he bit down rather harshly, causing a pained gasp to leave Hachimenroppi's lips as his pale hands reached up and grasped Tsukishima's biceps tightly.

"Ts-Tsukish—," Roppi began to say but stopped just as Tsukishima whispered in his ear.

"Miaka."

Suddenly Roppi froze, and all the good feelings he had been having disappeared within a blink of an eye. Hachimenroppi suddenly felt very dirty and horrible. Just as he heard and felt Tsukishima undo the buckle of his pants and reach for the button and zipper, Roppi roughly pushed him away. Tsukishima, caught by surprise by the action, was thrown to the side. He looked at Hachimenroppi with wide eyes, confused for a moment as to why tears were falling from them. Tsukishima then finally seemed to sober up enough to snap out of his drunken stupor, and he realized what he had done. "Ah—Roppi-san…I-I—"

But he didn't get the chance to say anymore as Roppi spun on his heel and ran out the studio as fast as he could. He hadn't noticed it had begun sprinkling outside, and as he ran it became heavier until it was a downpour. But he didn't care that he was getting wet and that he had left his favorite jacket behind in Tsukishima's studio, he just wanted to get as far away from Tsukishima as possible.

And he hoped the rain would somehow wash away the dirty feeling that made his body feel as cold as ice.

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><p><strong>Like I said, I'm sorry it's short guys. :( I really do wish I could give you a longer chapter, but that would mean you would have to wait till Friday and that's just too long a wait I think. D:<strong>

**Also, sorry if you find a lot of mistakes. Dx I kind of did a quick proofread, and I'm barely staying awake right now. But I hope you enjoyed it anyway!**

**Thank you for reading and reviewing everyone! I will definitely update the next chapter by this weekend!**

_Replies to anonymous reviews:_

**Lala poker:** Thank you for the review and saying it's cute. :) I hope you're enjoying the story so far!

**Luna takamarie: **I'm glad you think it's original! :D I try my best though I am a sucker for putting clichés. Glad to see you like it so far though.

**ForBiddenLoVe293:** I am so happy that you decided to follow my story! I, too, usually don't follow stories that are unfinished unless they're really good so I'm flattered you think my story is good enough! . I'm sorry this update took a while but I promise I'll try not to take too long with updates!

**-Xaleria**


	4. Tsukishima & Hachimenroppi 4

**Thank you so much for the reviews, alerts, and favorites everyone! :D I'm happy to see you're all enjoying the story.**

**As I said last chapter, this is the end of Tsuki and Roppi's story. Next chapter will be the start of Delic and Hibiya's. So I hope you guys enjoy this end!**

**WARNING: **This story is rated M so it will contain boyxboy lime/lemon in later chapters. You have been forewarned.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters.**

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><p><strong>Tsukishima &amp; Hachimenroppi<strong>

_Are you sure you want to delete __**Shirosukaafu**__ from your buddies list?_

The question on the screen seemed to mock his indecisiveness. In fact, why did it bother asking him that question? Of course he wasn't sure! His mouse hung between the "Yes" and "Cancel" buttons as he found himself with a dilemma.

He hadn't gone to see Tsukishima in three days. He hadn't even left his home, afraid that if he stepped outside his feet would automatically lead him to their café. And then he would no longer be able to deny the feelings stirring inside of him.

He loved Tsukishima. And Tsukishima loved Miaka, and Roppi was Miaka. So didn't that mean Tsukishima loved him? It all seemed so simple, but Roppi knew it wasn't. Reality wasn't as nice as dreams, and true love had never been shown to Roppi. Tsukishima might feel that way today, but would he still love Roppi after he learned the truth? Or many years later, when Roppi was old and ugly? Would Tsukishima still be able to say he loved Roppi even after the other day at his studio? After Roppi had run out on him and ignored him for days? Was his love really that strong, that real?

Hachimenroppi looked at the screen of his laptop, his eyes resting on the question that caused him so much confusion right now.

_Are you sure you want to delete __**Shirosukaafu**__ from your buddies list?_

Sucking in a deep breath, Hachimenroppi guided his mouse to the "Yes" button and clicked as quickly as he could before he would change his mind.

The name disappeared from his buddies list the next second, and strangely, instead of feeling relieved like he thought he would, he just felt empty.

So very empty.

* * *

><p>Tsukishima had really messed things up. Over four days had passed since he had last seen Roppi, and he hadn't heard from the raven since. <em>I'm so stupid,<em> Tsukishima thought with a sigh as he sadly looked out the rushing people bustling through the streets. Hachimenroppi had not come to the café since ever that night at the studio. And quite frankly, Tsukishima missed his company terribly.

Roppi was a unique person with dark secrets, Tsukishima could tell, and because of that, Tsukishima was attracted to him. He wanted to know more about Roppi. What he hid, why he hid it, did he hurt, and why couldn't he just ask for help? That last time he had worried this much about a person was when he had met Miaka. And stupidly, Tsukishima had gotten the two confused.

He thought it had been a coincidence how alike Roppi and Miaka seemed. And soon he started to feel attracted to Roppi, although he was supposed to be in love with Miaka. And like a fool, he had messed things up by doing the wrong thing and calling Roppi Miaka's name. _He must hate me now_, Tsukishima moaned in his head as he buried his face in his arms.

"Um, excuse me?" Tsukishima sat up, turning towards the auburn hair waitress who stood beside him. She looked worried, "Today, you seem a bit more depressed than usual. I was just wondering…is everything okay?"

He tried to recall whether he had seen this girl before and then remembered that she had been the waitress that had served him every time he came here. Hana-chan, he recalled was her name. He smiled reassuringly at her, "Thank you for the concern, but I'm alright."

Hana's brown eyes brightened as she returned his smile, "I'm glad to hear that." There was a slight pause as Hana thought about something. She then took in a deep breath and spoke, "Actually, I've been noticing you've been coming here a lot lately. And I was wondering…do you have a girlfriend?"

Tsukishima was taken aback by the question for a moment. The waitress looked at him with anticipating eyes and suddenly Tsukishima felt guilty. He knew he would never be able to return her feelings. After all, he already loved somebody else…

At that thought, Roppi's face suddenly popped into his head, and he blushed. How fickle he must be. He had always liked Miaka, since ever they had met he had liked her…but then Roppi had shown up and now…

_Could I really have changed feelings so easily?_ Tsukishima thought. _How could I so easily be attracted to someone else, when I had loved Miaka for over two years?_

But there was just something about Hachimenroppi. And Tsukishima realized that before he had met Roppi, meeting Miaka had been on his mind, but once Roppi appeared, thoughts of Miaka had faded from his mind completely. In fact, he had hoped that Roppi was Miaka.

Tsukishima eyes widened as he finally realized what had been bugging him about Roppi since ever they met. It was like he was able to see things clearly for the first time. He then looked towards the waitress with a sad smile, "I'm sorry, but I already have someone I like. And I don't think I'll be able to love anyone else."

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><p>"You don't look good, Roppi." Hachimenroppi looked up at the screen of the PDA his friend held with bleary eyes. His eyes were puffy and red from constant crying and lack of sleep. He was paler and hadn't eaten much the past few days, the malnutrition beginning to show in his slightly sunken cheeks. He wasn't surprised to see the evident concern on his friend, Celty's, face. She was always a caring, sweet person.<p>

Roppi had meet Celty through a mutual friend years ago. The two of them hit it off right away when they shared their love for books. Their friendship with each other only grew when they confided in each other their problems. Celty learned about Roppi's insecurities and his inability to understand love, and Roppi learned about Celty's disability, her muteness. She had been born unable to speak and because of that her parents cast her out, thinking she was a failure. It was just like Hachimenroppi's parents with his illness. But Celty had been lucky enough to be taken in by some old friends of her family who cut ties with her parents afterwards. She had ended up marrying their son. And while she was happy and content with her life, she understood Roppi's pain of not feeling loved by his true parents. And she knew that Roppi was not as lucky as her; so she tried her best to encourage Roppi to find his own happiness.

"What happened?" she typed out.

Hachimenroppi bit his lip, unsure of whether to tell Celty about his problem or not. He usually never shared information about himself with anyone, but this was Celty and he trusted her.

"I messed up Celty," he bemoaned as he buried his face in his hands. He was tempted to cry, but he would never be that weak in front of someone else, even if that someone was Celty. In fact, if Roppi thought about, the only person he had ever cried in front of was Tsukishima. But thinking of that only brought the memories of the night in Tsukishima's studio back, and Roppi muttered, "I should have never gotten close to him." At seeing the confused look on Celty's face, Roppi went on to tell her all about Tsukishima: how the met through the email, the offline meeting, him hiding the fact he was Miaka, and what had happened in Tsukishima's studio.

Celty listened patiently, having the right reactions at the appropriate places. Soon Roppi reached the end of his story, and Celty was quiet and contemplative as she folded her hands in her lap and thought over what Roppi had shared with her. She then picked up her PDA and started typing out, "Roppi, what do you think of Tsukishima-san?"

"What do I think…?" Roppi trailed off, his mind wandering to all the adjectives he would use to describe Tsukishima. Endearing. Adorable. Funny. Hardworking. Creative. Free spirited. Happy. Untainted. Roppi leaned back on his couch, feeling a sting pierce his chest. To him, Tsukishima was like the sun, always shining brightly and being a guiding star in the morning. In contrast, Roppi saw himself like the moon, hidden in the dark, pale and washed out. Tsukishima was day whereas he was night. Tsukishima wasn't tainted by darkness like he was. "I think…" Roppi started slowly, his eyes staring sadly at the wall. "I think he deserves more than me."

Celty frowned at his negative statement, wanting to say that Roppi should give himself more credit, but her friend turned to look at her with his scarlet eyes full of sadness and pain and she couldn't say anything. "Just look at me, Celty," Roppi muttered as he turned away. "I am a pathetic human being that nobody ever loved. I don't even understand love. I-I—" Roppi took in a deep breath, trying his best not to cry. "I wouldn't know how to love him properly. And he…he deserves more than that. He deserves someone who can love him like he'll love them. Not someone like me who just keeps hurting him."

"Roppi," Celty began to type out, but stopped as Roppi placed his hand over hers. He shook his head, sadly smiling.

"Please don't try to encourage me, Celty. Don't say I deserve him."

"But Roppi," Celty started again before she paused. She really did want Hachimenroppi to be happy, but she also didn't want to force him to do what he didn't want to. But by the sound of it, Tsukishima loved Roppi. Why didn't Roppi just tell him the truth? Why didn't he want to be happy with his love? But a little voice in the back of the head told her the reason. _He's afraid._ And part of her understood that. She, too, at one point her life was afraid of love. If it hadn't been for her husband, for his family that took her in…perhaps she would have been just like Roppi. Afraid to love and be loved. Because you couldn't be hurt if you didn't feel anything.

"Celty." Celty was startled when Roppi suddenly grabbed her hands in his, her PDA falling from them. She looked at her friend with wide eyes, seeing the amount of emotion in his scarlet eyes. Pain but there also was certain decisiveness in them. "Celty, can you do me a favor?"

She tentatively nodded, wondering what her friend wanted her to do. "Celty, would you meet him in my place? Will you say you're Miaka?"

"!" Celty backed away for a moment, shocked by his request. Sensing her hesitation, Roppi went on to explain, "Please Celty. I'm sure if he thought he really met Miaka…he could forget about me. And as Miaka, you could tell him you don't feel any more than friendship for him and then maybe he'll…he'll give up…" Roppi's voice became lower and depressed at the last part as he looked at the ground. But then he took in a ragged breath and looked back up at Celty, determination in his eyes. "I just need you to make him forget about me. Please Celty."

Celty was a bit reluctant to agree as she bit her lip with worry. She was torn between wanting what was best for Hachimenroppi and what he wished. She was supposed to be his good friend, so she only wanted to help him. Sighing with defeat, Celty nodded her head.

* * *

><p>Tsukishima looked at the time on his cell phone. Five fifty-seven. It was almost time. His mind briefly wandered back to the vague, and sudden, email he had received from Miaka the other day.<p>

_Hello Shiro-san,_

_I'm really sorry about missing our last meeting. Please let me make up to you and explain myself. Meet me at the same place at the same time tomorrow afternoon. I'll be the girl wearing the red scarf._

_-Miaka_

Tsukishima wondered why Miaka all of sudden wanted to meet. It had been over a month since they had talked. He wondered if… So caught up in his thoughts, he didn't notice when a shadow was cast over the table as someone stood beside it. A hand tapped Tsukishima's shoulder. His head spun to the side, caught by surprise. A very beautiful woman stood beside the table, smiling softly at him. Her hair was a slight dark auburn color, her eyes a deep green-blue which complimented her creamy white skin. She wore a simple black dress that fit her quite nicely with a red scarf around her neck. She was beautiful, he couldn't deny that. And he wondered if she was really Japanese.

"Hello there, Shiro-san. I'm Miaka." Tsukishima was a bit surprised when he saw her pull out a PDA and type on it then show him the message on the screen. "I'm sorry I have to communicate this way, but you see, I am unable to speak."

"You're mute?" He hadn't been expecting that.

She nodded, smiling apologetically as she took a seat across from Tsukishima. She typed out something else. "Are you surprised?"

"A little," Tsukishima admitted. He looked at the mysterious girl across from him, wondering why she was here.

"Is something the matter, Shiro-san?" Tsukishima blinked, realizing he had been staring at her for quite a while. She shifted uneasily.

"Ah, no, it's just that…" _You're not what I expected._ He finished in his head. He let out a sad sigh as he was slightly disappointed. He had hoped that…well, it made sense that he wouldn't want to be here. He looked back at the girl across from him, who looked confused by Tsukishima's reaction. Tsukishima gave her an apologetic smile, "You're not Miaka, are you?"

The girl's eyes widened with shock, probably not having anticipated being found out. But then a small smile spread across her face. "You're right. I'm not Miaka. How did you know?"

"Because," Tsukishima started as he thought of the raven that had filled his mind with a soft smile. "I don't feel anything towards you."

The smile on the girl's face grew a bit. Tsukishima found he kind of liked this girl. She seemed like the kind of person he could be friends with. But right now wasn't the time to get to know her. He had to find him. "I'm sorry," Tsukishima started to get up from his seat. "I need to go find someone."

But the girl grabbed the sleeve of his shirt, stopping him. "Wait," she typed. "I just have one thing to ask you."

Tsukishima looked down at her green-blue eyes, seeing the seriousness in them. "Yes?"

"Why did you keep waiting?" she asked. She was curious. Miaka hadn't talked to him in over a month, yet he still came to this meeting and he had waited every day before.

She was a bit shocked when Tsukishima gave her that dazzling, happy smile of his. She could see why Hachimenroppi loved him. He was bright, someone that could give Roppi some light in his life. "Because he was worth waiting for."

The girl smiled at him again. "I see. May I have a piece of paper, Shiro-san?" Confused but obliging, Tsukishima took a piece of scrap paper from his bag and handed it to her with a pen. She scribbled something onto the paper and then handed it to Tsukishima. He looked down at it and smiled gratefully when he saw what she had written.

"Thank you," he looked back up at her, his thanks showing sincerely in his eyes.

She nodded her head in acknowledgement before typing out something else, "Just promise me you'll take good care of him."

Tsukishima smiled reassuringly at her, "I promise."

* * *

><p>Hachimenroppi looked at the clock, wondering how the meeting between Celty and Tsukishima was going. <em>I wonder if he has finally given up on me<em>, Roppi thought with a bitter smile. _It's better if he did._

He felt like he should get up and go about his normal life, but all Roppi really wanted was to just sit on his couch and not do anything else. He didn't have the energy to do anything. He had thought that by cutting ties with Tsukishima, he would solve all his problems. But now he just felt unsatisfied and lonely. _Did I really depend on Tsuki-san's company that much?_ Roppi thought with a frown. He tried to think of what he did during his free time before, but realized he had spent most of it talking with Tsukishima, reading something Tsukishima suggested, or doing something that in some way related to Tsukishima.

Somehow without realizing it, he had built his life around Tsukishima, and now that Tsukishima was gone there was nothing to fill the gap.

Sighing, Roppi turned to look out his window, watching the sun lower from the sky as pink coloring filled his room. It was almost beautiful in a sad way as he recalled how he had compared Tsukishima to the sun. Now the sun was disappearing and soon darkness would fill the room, and Hachimenroppi would be left alone in the dark. He felt so lost again, like he had two years ago when he had tried to take his life. But this time, there was no one to save him.

Drowning in his thoughts and dark feelings and feeling a bit dazed, Hachimenroppi almost thought it was a trick of his imagination when he heard a faint knock at his door. But soon the pounding became a bit louder, breaking him from his thoughts. He figured it must be Celty, done with the meeting and coming to tell him how it went.

"Coming," he called out as he got up from his couch, heading towards the door. As Roppi moved to open the door, he questioned, "Is that you, Celty? You know, you could have jus—" He stopped midsentence as he swung the door open and realized that the person standing on the other side was not Celty.

Even though it had only been about a week since he had last seen Tsukishima, Roppi was still enraptured by his appearance. Tsukishima seemed a bit taller as he loomed over Roppi in the doorway, his arm having moved to hold the door back lest Roppi shut it in his face. His blonde hair was disarrayed, choppy bangs falling above steely crimson eyes that stared straight at Hachimenroppi. His chest heaved slightly with ragged breaths as sweat dripped down the side of his face, showing he had probably run all the way here. But despite all that, he still looked as dazzling as he had the first time Roppi laid eyes on him.

"Roppi-san," he started, moving towards the raven. Reacting, Roppi flinched away, shaking his head as his eyes widened with shock.

"What are you doing here? How did you—" Roppi paused in his question as he realized Celty must have told him where he lived. Roppi shook his head again, placing his hands against Tsukishima and trying to push him away, "You need to leave, Tsuki-san. I-I—"

"I know that you're Miaka." Tsukishima interrupted him, his expression serious. Roppi stopped his actions, his eyes widening further as he began to tremble. There was no way he knew. Roppi turned his head up to look at Tsukishima, and the look in the blonde's eyes told him he did know the truth.

"But how—"

"I have only ever fallen in love with one person in my entire life," Tsukishima said as he walked into Hachimenroppi's home, shutting the door behind him with one hand while the other grasped Hachimenroppi's. "And I still love that person."

Hachimenroppi felt his cheeks heat up with embarrassment and happiness. He felt his heart beating faster in his chest, and he was suddenly very conscious of the hand that held his. But he kept shaking his head, trying to back away from Tsukishima, but the blonde didn't let go of his hand. "Tsuki-san…I—" Roppi could feel the tears threatening to fall. "I—"

But Tsukishima silenced Roppi with a chaste kiss. It was nothing like the one he had given Roppi the night he had been drunk. It was sweet and gentle, their lips molding together perfectly before Tsukishima pulled away slowly, a smile playing on his lips, "That should have been our first kiss."

Hachimenroppi was sure his entire face was red up until his ears. His mouth moved but no words came from it. His felt his legs shaking so badly that he was surprised he was still standing. And the tears he had tried so hard to hold back pooled in the corners of his eyes, streaming steadily down his face. Tsukishima became shocked and troubled. He hadn't meant to make Roppi cry. "Roppi-san, I'm sorry," he quickly apologized as he brought Roppi into the circle of his arms. "Please don't cry."

"W-w-wh-why?" Roppi stuttered as he took in uneven breaths. Why was Tsukishima here? Why was he stirring up all these feelings inside Roppi? Feelings that were so foreign. Feelings that didn't make sense yet felt so right. And why did Roppi suddenly feel secure? He had always distrusted humans because of his past. He had always hated them. And most of all, he always hated himself for being this way. But then Tsukishima had saved him from all those dark feelings, saved him from himself. And here he was, saving him yet again. "Why do you love someone like me?"

"That's the funny thing about love," Tsukishima murmured as he smiled softly down at Hachimenroppi. "You just can't explain it."

Hachimenroppi couldn't help but faintly agree in the back of his mind. None of this made sense enough to put into words, but he knew the feeling was just right. Love was a pretty funny thing, and it was hard to deny it now. "It's not a good thing to love me," Hachimenroppi whispered in a sad voice, his eyes downcast.

"Why do you have so little faith in yourself, Roppi-san?" Tsukishima asked as he pulled Roppi away from him enough to stare seriously down at him. "To me, there is no one else but you. No one else I can love."

"But," Roppi started, feeling his heartbeat quicken even more by Tsukishima's sudden confession. "I don't even know how to love."

But Tsukishima didn't seem bothered by this. In fact, that dazzling smile of his just broke out across his face as he leaned forward, his breath hot against Hachimenroppi's skin. "I'll just have to teach you then, won't I?"

Before Hachimenroppi could respond, Tsukishima kissed him once again, this time more passionately as he gently cradled Roppi's head with one hand, his fingers threading through his raven locks. The other arm wrapped around Roppi's waist, holding the smaller man's body close to his. And this time, Roppi responded, throwing his arms around the blonde's neck to bring their lips closer together. He noticed that Tsukishima tasted of chocolate and the buttery taste of cookies. And Roppi couldn't help but smile against their kiss.

Hachimenroppi was still a little afraid of being in love, but perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing to fall in love if it was Tsukishima he was falling for. Because being there, in Tsukishima's arms, he had the strange feeling of completeness.

And he felt loved. So dearly loved. And honestly, he found he quite liked the feeling.

* * *

><p><strong>Um, sorry to those who were expecting lemon. ^^' I do plan on adding lemon to this story eventually, but honestly it seemed a bit wrong to add a lemon scene to Tsuki and Roppi's story. Their story was just meant to be kind of fluffy and cute, and I couldn't find the right place to add lemon in so I just decided not to do it.<strong>

**But I hope you enjoyed Tsuki and Roppi's story! They are just so cute, and I'm a little sad I finished their story already. But I am excited to work on Delic and Hibiya's! Their story will be dramatic and have a little angst, which I love writing, so please look forward to it! :)**

**Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!**

**-Xaleria**


	5. Delic & Hibiya 1

**Yeah~! I'm so glad you all loved Tsuki and Roppi's story! ^^ And thank you so much for the wonderful reviews everyone! I will reply to them as soon as I can as I'm kind of updating this before I head off to sleep. Also, thanks a bunch to those who alerted and added this to favorites! Any interest in my story always makes me happy. :D**

**I wanted to save this chapter till Wednesday, but I'm going on a cruise this weekend so I'm not sure when I'll have time to update next (but I promise to write during my free time!). I've been trying to write up the next chapters during my free time now so I can update as much as I can this week. And since this chapter was finished, I thought, why not update? :) **

**Enjoy guys~!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters.**

* * *

><p><strong>Delic &amp; Hibiya<strong>

"Ahn! Delic! Haahh, don't be so—nghn—rough," Hibiya moaned as his fingernails scratched against the broad back of the man leaning over him. His face was flushed from hearing their lewd, squelching noises fill the room as sweat dripped down his pale, lithe body. He could feel himself clamping down on the hard cock that thrust into him mercilessly, hitting all the right spots that brought him innumerable pleasure. If he wasn't so overwhelmed with bliss right now, he would be thoroughly embarrassed by his actions, especially since it was _**him**_ he was currently doing said actions with.

"Hmm, but you like it when I'm a little rough, don't you?" Delic's voice was light and teasing as were his pink eyes that held an amused look in them as he licked his lips. As if to emphasize his point, he pulled almost all the way out and then thrust without warning, burying himself as deep as he could into that tight hole, causing the younger man beneath him to cry out and tremble. Delic grunted as he felt Hibiya's nails scratch against his back again.

"Don't—nggh—be an ass," Hibiya breathed out as he bit his lip to keep back a pleasured moan.

Delic just smirked, his pink eyes twinkling as he reached up and grabbed Hibiya's chin. "Now, now, don't do that. It's okay to let your voice out," he thrust harshly once again as an attempt to make Hibiya scream as his tongue trailed up the side of the raven's face. "My brother's not coming back for the day. He's holed up in his studio doing a project." But the raven firmly kept his mouth shut, not wanting to give in to Delic. The blonde shook his head, wondering why Hibiya was so stubborn sometimes. But his eyes held a wicked spark in them, "I guess I'm not doing a good job of distracting you then."

Hibiya's golden eyes widened, knowing what that look meant, "Wait Delic—!" But he didn't have the chance to finish what he was saying as the blonde fastened his pace, thrusting all the way up the hilt as they rocked the bed harder, its increasing creaking joining the skin slapping against skin sounds that filled Hibiya's ears. The pale man writhed underneath Delic as he panted and moaned loudly, not caring anymore about his dignity, his hands clenching the bed sheets tightly as he didn't have the strength or a good grip to hold onto Delic anymore. Damn, he hated it when he lost himself so easily to Delic. "De-Delic," he gasped as he looked up at the blonde with dazed eyes. "Stop—ah! I-I can't—nnmm." He could feel his entire body tighten as hot pleasure began to cloud his vision, and by the quickening pace of Delic's thrusts, he could tell the blonde was reaching his limit too.

"Aaahh!" Hibiya's vision became white for a moment as he felt himself finally give out, his body arching as his fingers curled around the sheets tightly. He breathed unevenly once he was spent, his own cum dripping down his stomach, and collapsed against the sticky with sweat bed sheets. Delic fell to the side of him, also breathing heavily. But once his breath steadied and he regained his composure, Hibiya rolled out of the bed, looking around for his clothes as he grabbed a couple of moist towels Delic kept handy by his bed to clean himself up.

It was always like this between them. They'd meet up, have sex, and then Hibiya would immediately leave right after. He never dared to linger after they had sex. After sex moments were just ones he never wanted to experience with Delic. At least, not when they were like this.

To put it very bluntly, they were sex friends. Two people who mutually decided to vent their sexual frustrations with each other with no strings attached. But, unfortunately, this wasn't the kind of relationship Hibiya really wanted. But he would never ever admit that to Delic.

"You know, it really kills the mood when you get that stone cold look of yours on your face and get up and leave like this," Delic muttered from the bed as he turned to lie on his side, propping up his arm and resting his cheek on his hand.

Hibiya turned to glare at him, but Delic returned it with that irritating smirk of his. And while Hibiya hated that smirk, he had to admit it made Delic look damn sexy. But that was probably the reason why he hated it. It just reminded him of how attracted he was to Delic, with his messy blonde hair, magenta eyes, and goddamn oozing sexiness. Hibiya was almost tempted to get back into bed with Delic as his eyes raked over the toned, tanned muscles of the blonde's body. "Want to do it again?" Delic asked, interrupting, and probably reading, Hibiya's naughty thoughts as he winked at the dark-haired young man.

But Hibiya scowled, turning away to hide his secret desire and slight blushing face. "You're an absolute animal, wanting to do it again after we've already done it three times," he grumbled although he had been thinking the same earlier.

"Suit yourself," Delic shrugged as he watched Hibiya get dressed, his eyes lingering over the curve of the raven's ass and the long, milky legs that had been wrapped around his torso earlier. His eyes then traveled back up along the raven's thin torso up to the arc of his neck and shoulders, and finally to the face only to see Hibiya glaring coldly at him with his bright, golden eyes.

"Lecher," Hibiya hissed as he pulled on his long, white shirt and grabbed his gold colored jacket from the ground, stomping towards the bedroom door and slamming it shut behind him. Delic looked at the door with a slight bewildered look before he sighed and shook his head, picking up a carton of cigarettes from his nightstand next to his bed. He took one out, lighted it, and then took a long drag.

"Tch," he breathed out, watching the smoke disperse into the air.

* * *

><p>The first time the two of them met, Hibiya had been fourteen years old. His family had just moved to Ikebukuro, and he was bitter about it. He missed his hometown of Kyoto. But then his parents had dragged him and his twin brother next door to meet their new neighbors, and that was when Hibiya saw him.<p>

He was only older by a year, but to Hibiya he was the coolest guy he had ever met. At fifteen years old, Delic was already budding into a charming young man that would capture all the ladies' hearts. He was cocky, but not overbearing, and he had the most disarming smile ever. He could be a bit much at times, but underneath he was actually a big softie. Hibiya was simply captivated by him. So very quickly did Hibiya, Delic, and Hibiya's twin brother, Psyche, become friends. Hibiya and his brother would go over to Delic's house almost every day, and as their relationship deepened and they grew older, Hibiya started to notice he craved a relationship with Delic that was quite different from their current friendship.

But at the tender age of seventeen, Hibiya didn't know what to do with his feelings. This was the first time he had ever felt this way towards someone else, and he was afraid of sharing this information with Delic, lest the older guy start ignoring him because of it. Because what if Delic thought it was disgusting that another guy liked him? As far as Hibiya remembered, Delic had dated girls. That meant he was straight, right? It seemed impossible that the two of them would ever get together. Hibiya didn't want to lose Delic as a friend so he kept his feelings locked deep inside of himself; that was, until Hibiya began to notice something strange with his twin brother.

In their seventeenth summer, Psyche started to avoid Delic, and whenever the two ended up in a room together, Psyche turned into a blushing, stuttering mess and would leave as soon as he could. Sometimes, Hibiya caught his brother staring at Delic with eyes that yearned for the blonde. He knew that look. Hibiya, himself, looked at Delic the same way. It was beginning to become unnerving, especially when Hibiya began to see how differently Delic treated Psyche from him.

Delic and Hibiya got along just fine, but because of Hibiya's natural, sort of prince-like attitude, he and Delic were constantly arguing and bantering with each other. As young boys they often got into fights, but never held grudges against each other. They just enjoyed debating together as they were the only ones who could keep up with each other. But now, Hibiya began to discern just how differently Delic treated Psyche.

Delic was gentle with Psyche, who was always sweet, cheerful, and agreeing. They never got into fights with each other, and Delic never yelled at Psyche like he sometimes yelled at Hibiya. And Hibiya could see the soft, sort of adoring look Delic got in his eyes when he was with Psyche. Hibiya wondered why he never noticed this before.

And then one day his brother told him something that spurred the abrupt change in his relationship with Delic.

"Hibi-nii!" Psyche came to him, his pink eyes distraught as tears welled up in them. "Hibi-nii, what do I do!"

"What? What's the matter?" Hibiya asked, a bit confused as Psyche grabbed his arms, shaking him a little in his distress.

"Hibi-nii!" Psyche sniffed, the tears streaming down his face in fat drops. "Hibi-nii, I think I love Delic-nii-san."

Hibiya froze, his golden eyes widening as his mouth opened in a 'O', unsure of what to say. He could feel himself shaking slightly with some emotion, though he wasn't sure what exactly he was feeling at the time. Jealousy perhaps? Anger? Regret? "Psyche," he started speaking slowly. His mouth felt dry and there was a sharp pain in his chest. He swallowed as he felt something stuck in his throat, but it didn't seem to help, "Psyche, are you sure…?"

"I-I think so," Psyche murmured softly as he twisted his hands together anxiously. "I just get so nervous around him, and my heart beats faster, and my hands get sweaty, and I don't know what to say…doesn't that mean I love him?"

What was he supposed to say to that? Hibiya felt torn. On one hand, he loved Delic, and he didn't want to give Delic to anyone else. But the other hand, Psyche was his younger brother, and Hibiya loved him like any older brother would. He wanted the best for his brother, and to him, Delic was the best. But then, what about his feelings?

_But doesn't Delic also like Psyche?_ A voice spoke in Hibiya's head,_ Don't try to say you haven't noticed them growing closer._

Although he didn't want to admit it, it was true. Delic and Psyche had been spending more time together, especially since Hibiya had became vice president of the student council and was busy. Psyche always spent the afternoon at Delic's house, since their parents didn't get home late, the same time as Hibiya. Hibiya had seen how Delic and Psyche sometimes whispered things to each other, laughing over it. He had seen how they shared things with each other that Hibiya didn't know of. Of course they would eventually fall in love with each other. It was obvious wasn't it?

Hibiya had never felt so hurt before as he forced himself to smile encouragingly at his brother, "Why don't you confess to him then?" _Because I want to know how he really feels too._

Psyche seemed to brighten at that idea. "You're right, Hibi-nii! I won't know how he feels until I tell him. Alright, I'll do it!" He smiled so warmly at is brother. "Thank you, Hibi-nii, I wouldn't know what to do without you."

Hibiya only hid his pain behind his smile.

* * *

><p><em>Today, Psyche's confessing to him.<em> Hibiya thought as he sadly looked out the window of the student council room.

Throughout the day he had felt miserable, but as he hid it behind his confident façade. He never liked to show weakness in front of others. It just wasn't part of his character. When Hibiya finally went home, he found Psyche in their room, listening to his mp3 player with a slight sad smile.

"Psyche," Hibiya sounded surprised, and to be honest he was. He had expected Psyche to be at Delic's. "What happened?"

"Oh, Hibi-nii, welcome home," Psyche greeted with that cheerful smile of his. His expression then saddened a bit, "I got rejected."

Hibiya felt a little guilty when he found himself feeling happy over that fact. He should be sad for his brother, but he couldn't seem to find that feeling. But then Psyche had a bright smile back on his face as he looked at his twin brother, "But I haven't given up hope. He told me that it just wouldn't feel right to go out with me because I was so innocent, and he didn't want to hurt me. So that means there's still a chance he likes me, isn't there? I mean, if he really didn't like me, would he really care about hurting me?"

And the happy feeling that had filled Hibiya suddenly disappeared. His brother was right. By the sound of it, it seemed Delic really did like Psyche. Why else would he say that to Psyche? He must truly cherish Psyche if he didn't want to hurt him.

A sharp pain stung in his chest again, and Hibiya reached up and clenched the fabric of his shirt tightly.

* * *

><p>It was the weekend after Psyche's confession. Psyche had gone to a friend's and he would be spending the night, their parents were on a weekend business trip, and Hibiya knew that Delic's parents had taken his younger brother, Tsukishima, to a two day art show in Shinjuku. Everyone wouldn't be back home until tomorrow. So both Hibiya and Delic were home alone. He would never have a chance like this again.<p>

Hibiya headed over to Delic's house, nervously shuffling in front of the door before taking in a deep breath and gathering his courage. He rang the doorbell. A minute later he heard the sound of feet banging against the ground and then the click and turn of the lock. "Yeah?" Delic opened the door, surprised to find Hibiya standing there. "Hibi-kun," he used his special name for Hibiya. The sound of his voice sent butterflies fluttering in Hibiya's stomach, but Hibiya maintained his cool, calm look.

"Can I come in?" Hibiya asked, forcing the corners of his lips to upturn in his usual, confident smile.

"Sure," Delic shrugged, moving aside so that Hibiya could step inside. "Wanna go up to my room?"

Hibiya nodded, following Delic up the stairs and down the hall to the room they had spent so much time in together. It was still the same: slightly messy with band posters hung up on every available space on the walls. A huge shelf was set up against one wall jam packed with CDs and classic vinyl records. Delic's stereo system was up against another wall along with his DJ system and computer. Another corner of the room was dedicated to various instruments. Hibiya couldn't help the faint smile that played on his lips. Delic was such a music nerd. Hibiya's eyes then traveled to the unmade bed and suddenly he felt nervous.

"So what's up, Hibi-kun?" Delic asked as he plopped down on his bed. Hibiya licked his lips to wet them as they felt so dry. He really hoped his voice wouldn't crack and ruin this.

"I heard you rejected my brother." Delic looked a bit surprised that he knew this but then tried to appear casual.

"Yeah, well, he's a good kid. He deserves better than me," Delic murmured, not facing Hibiya.

_So you do care about him then,_ Hibiya thought sadly. But he didn't show this on his face. He just smiled playfully, sauntering up to Delic and placing one knee on the bed so he loomed over the blonde slightly. Delic now had a cautious and curious look on his face. "But I'm pretty sure you have some—" Hibiya paused as he searched for the right words, "pent up desires about my brother."

"What are you trying to say?" Delic questioned, although he had a pretty good idea of where this was going. He didn't move to stop Hibiya, just stared at him with steely magenta eyes.

Hibiya wondered where he was getting all this courage from as he reached to toy with the buttons of Delic's button down shirt. He was surprised his hands weren't shaking as he began to unbutton them steadily while he spoke, "I'm saying that I may be able to…help you, per say."

He finished unbuttoning Delic's shirt, briefly admiring the blonde's toned chest, and then moved to push it off his shoulders, but Delic suddenly reached out and grabbed Hibiya's hand, slightly startling the younger boy. Delic had a serious look in his eyes as his mouth was a firm line, "You know what this means, right?"

Hibiya only nodded, afraid that if he spoke he'd give away his anxiety. Delic's expression seemed to harden as he reached up with his other hand and grabbed Hibiya's chin so that their eyes met, "Better not regret this then." For a moment, Hibiya wondered what he meant by that, but he didn't have time to ponder over it as he suddenly found himself thrown on his back on the bed, his shirt being pulled over his head.

That was the first time the two of them had sex, and Hibiya remembered every moment of it. The hurried movement of their hands as they tore off each other's clothing and threw it around the room haphazardly. The feel of Delic's hands touching him everywhere, finding sensitive spots even Hibiya didn't know he had. The sound of his voice as he moaned, panted, and cried out Delic's name, and the way their breaths mixed together. He remembered the feel of his body trembling while he held onto the sheets for dear life as he felt both unbearable pain and pleasure. He remembered how he felt as he achieved orgasm, and how dirty he felt right after.

And Hibiya remembered, quite distinctly, how Delic had made marks all over his body with his mouth, but not once did Delic kiss him. Because kisses suggested something more intimate, which they didn't have. They weren't lovers after all, just sex friends.

In his seventeenth summer, Hibiya not only lost his virginity but experienced his first heartbreak.

* * *

><p>Hibiya looked up at the sky as he walked in the direction of his home. It seemed to reflect his dreary mood as gray skies clouded the sun. It looked like it was going to rain. He wondered faintly whether he would be able to get home before it started to downpour. But then his mind traveled back to his past with Delic. Had it really been six years since then? Had they really been in this kind of relationship for this long? <em>And,<em> Hibiya wondered, _does Delic still love my brother?_

The stinging paint that hurt his chest every time he thought of his brother and Delic appeared again, and Hibiya clenched his chest tightly. It hurt so much sometimes. Hibiya shook the thoughts from his head just as it started sprinkling. He looked back up at the sky, wondering if it was crying for him. Just as he started to walk again a running figure bumped into him. Hibiya turned to give the person a piece of his mind, but he spotted tears glistening in the figure's eyes before the person ran off and disappeared into the darkness. The anger he had felt disappeared within a second. He wondered if that person was hurting like he was. Being in love sucked sometimes.

With a sigh, Hibiya turned back around and walked home, really wishing that the rain could wash away these feelings that only hurt him. But as he walked further away from Delic's home, he just found himself yearning for the blonde more as the pain in his chest amplified. And Hibiya couldn't help but wonder, was it possible to die of a broken heart?

* * *

><p><strong>So I hope this beginning was good? This is the first time I've ever opened a story with a sex scene. *blushes* But I hoped you guys enjoyed it and please look forward to the rest of Delic and Hibiya's story! :D I'm having a lot of fun writing it. <strong>

**And like I said before, I'll try to update as much as I can before this weekend!**

**Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

**-Xaleria**


	6. Delic & Hibiya 2

**Thank you for the reviews everyone! I'm happy to see you all enjoyed the beginning of Delic and Hibiya's story. :) Here is the second chapter before I leave for the weekend. I actually even extended this chapter because I didn't want to give you guys a short chapter. I'll try to update next week/weekend!**

**Also, I don't know if Hibiya's horse has a real name or if it's a male or female. So I just picked whatever I liked. Sorry if it's incorrect.**

**WARNING: **This story is rated M so it will contain boyxboy lime/lemon in later chapters. You have been forewarned.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters.**

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><p><strong>Delic &amp; Hibiya<strong>

"_What's that?" sixteen year old Delic inquired curiously as he peeked over Hibiya's shoulder to look at the photo the raven held in his hands. The picture was one of a beautiful mare, its hair a golden blonde and its eyes a deep honey brown. The mare looked majestic standing straight on its legs. Even though Delic could see the fences of a corral in the picture, the mare seemed to have an air about her that said she wasn't imprisoned there; she chose to be there, and she could easily choose to break free. _

"_My horse," fifteen year old Hibiya answered with a proud smile. His expression then fell a bit as he spoke the next part softly, "We had to sell her when we moved." _

"_Oh," Delic wasn't sure what else to say to that, and he had never been one who was good with words. "Where is she now?" _

"_At a horse ranch in Kyoto I used to take horse riding lessons from. They were the only ones I trusted enough to take good care of her," Hibiya told him as he leaned back on the grass, wistfully looking at the photo._

_Delic sat back with him, crossing his arms behind his head. "What's her name?" _

_His question seemed to shock Hibiya as the raven looked at him with surprised expression. Delic guessed the younger man hadn't expected him to be interested in his horse. The look on Hibiya's face then softened, "Genevieve." _

"_Cute name," Delic commented with a smile. "Do you miss her?" _

"_Of course I do," Hibiya stated this matter-of-factly with a roll of his eyes. "I've had her ever since she was a filly." _

"_Why don't you go visit her?" Delic wondered._

_Hibiya scowled, "It's not easy to just get up and fly to Kyoto to visit my horse. If it was, I would go every weekend to visit her." Hibiya then sat up, bringing his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them as he placed his chin on his knees. "I wish I could have brought her here." _

_Delic looked at his friend curiously before he then turned back to look at the sky. _

_That weekend, Hibiya woke up Saturday morning to find a stuffed horse placed next to his pillow. It was a golden color with honey eyes, and leather reins on its muzzle. The name "Genevieve" had been carved into the leather. Hibiya took the stuffed animal into his hands, the corners of his mouth slowly curling up into a smile._

* * *

><p>"Hibi-nii? Oi, Hibi-nii!" Hibiya snapped out of his reverie, the memory quickly pushed to the back of his mind as he blinked at his brother, startled by how close his brother's face, an identical reflection of his own, was to his. The pink eyes of Psyche looked at his brother with concern. "Hibi-nii, you okay? You look a bit pale."<p>

"I'm fine, Psyche," Hibiya muttered as he looked around, realizing that the lecture had ended. He hadn't retained anything from it, but right now he didn't really care. He moved to gather his books but got up too fast. His head started to spin and he fell backwards, his books falling with him.

"Hibi-nii!" Psyche cried out, rushing to his brother's side. "Are you alright?" Psyche reached out to touch him and his eyes widened, "Hibi-nii, you're burning up!"

"I'm fine," Hibiya insisted although he was anything but. His face was flushed with illness, his breathing heavy, and he was beginning to feel a horrible migraine come on. So distracted by his condition, it took Hibiya a moment to register the hand tugging on his arm as he was suddenly pulled up and swept into someone's arms. "D-De-Delic?" Hibiya looked up at the blonde who wore a concerned expression. Hibiya was so glad to have a fever as it made a great excuse for why his face was so red. The princess-style hold was a bit embarrassing for a man his age. He was twenty-three for god's sake. He began to struggle a bit. "Delic, put me down!"

"Stop fussing," Delic chided as he narrowed his eyes at Hibiya. "You're making your brother worry."

_Of course,_ Hibiya thought as he suddenly lost the strength to fight. He turned his head slightly to look at his brother who did look worried. Hibiya then looked away. He wasn't able to handle looking at his brother anymore knowing that the only reason Delic cared about him right now was because it troubled Psyche.

"Hey Psyche-chan, can you get Hibiya's stuff for me? I'll take him to the infirmary to get some medicine then I'll take him home," Delic said as he gestured towards Hibiya's backpack and books. Psyche nodded and began to gather them up. He then handed the bag to Delic who put it on over his shoulder.

"Get better, okay, Hibi-nii?" Psyche said as he smiled at his brother. Hibiya didn't dare face him. He just made a noise they all assumed was an okay, and then Delic carried him out of the classroom.

The two of them were silent as they walked through the hallway, some people eyeing them curiously. Hibiya was so glad he could hide his face in Delic's shirt and blame this all on the fever. Briefly, Hibiya peeked upwards and saw Delic's face staring forward, looking for the infirmary. He looked so dashing, his blonde hair disarrayed as usual but endearing anyway, and his pink eyes sparkling like they always did. Hibiya then placed his head against Delic's chest, subtly inhaling the scent of the blonde. He smelled like cigarettes and bubble gum, an odd combination yet something Hibiya found soothing. It was just so Delic, and Hibiya wished he could stay like this forever.

But of course that wish was futile as too soon did they arrive to the infirmary, Delic sliding open the door and calling out, "Oi, Shinra, you here?"

A head of black hair then popped out from the curtains of the bed, curious stone grey eyes taking in the two of them. Kishitani Shinra, at the age of twenty four, was what most would call a prodigy. He already had obtained his PhD, and technically only came to school to further his knowledge and bury himself in research whenever his wife wasn't home. One could probably find him in the infirmary more often than the actual nurse. And because of that, Shinra had unintentionally taken over the position because when people came in and were unable to find the nurse, they had him treat them instead. But he didn't mind because medicine was his calling and it gave him something to do until his wife came back home. Shinra also was childhood friends with Delic, and had eventually became friends with Hibiya too.

"A cold, huh?" Shinra murmured as he took in the abnormal redness of Hibiya's face. He smiled jokingly as he said, "Late night walks in the rain?"

_If only he knew_, Hibiya thought before he grumbled, "Just give me some damn medicine, Shinra." Delic placed him on a bed as Shinra went off to find the cold medicine. Hibiya didn't even thank Delic, just turning away from the blonde. He didn't want to look at Delic right now; he'd just want to be in his arms again.

"Would it kill you to be nicer?" Delic chastised as he crossed his arms around his chest. His eyes slanted slightly with annoyance. That stinging pain in Hibiya's chest returned, and he could feel his own anger rising as well.

_What the hell? _Hibiya thought angrily. _Do you really care about my brother that much that you need to worry about how I act affects him? _

Sometimes, Hibiya was incredibly jealous of his brother. Psyche didn't understand what he had sometimes, to be loved by Delic. His brother had sat back for six years, waiting for Delic to make a move when Hibiya knew how Delic felt about him. He wished the two of them would just get together already. Get it over with. Perhaps, if they finally started dating, he'd be able to give up on this hopeless love.

Hibiya looked up as Shinra offered him some medicine and a cup of water. Hibiya took it with a nod of thanks and drank the pill down. "Don't you have class right now, Delic?" Shinra questioned as he turned to the blonde.

"Yeah, but I was going to skip it and take Hibiya home since he's sick," Delic responded with a nonchalant tone.

"Just go to class, Delic," Hibiya spoke in a pretty rough voice—glad that it didn't sound weird since he had a cold—as he narrowed his eyes slightly and tightened his grip on the cup. "I can get home by myself."

Delic scowled, "Don't be stubborn, Hibi-kun. You look like you're going to collapse at any moment. I'll take you home.

As Hibiya opened his mouth to protest, the door to the infirmary slid open and a familiar tall, serious-looking young man walked in. "Dotachin!" Hibiya called out gratefully. Here was the perfect escape. Kadota turned towards Hibiya and a small smile appeared on his angular face. His dark eyes were soft and kind, his equally dark hair hidden beneath his signature black beanie.

Kadota Kyohei had been the student council president back in high school, and since Hibiya had been the vice president they had spent a lot of time together. They gradually became close friends, and Hibiya felt that after Delic, Kadota was the only other person he could trust with his secrets. Kadota even knew about his feelings for Delic. To Hibiya, Kadota was sometimes a god-send.

"Hey there, Hibiya," Kadota greeted as he nodded to acknowledge the others.

"Dotachin, do you have class right now?" Hibiya asked, hoping the answer was no.

"No, I just finished." Thank god! Hibiya really wanted to throw his arms around Kadota and give him a big hug. "Why? Need something?"

"Can you take me home?" Hibiya asked, noting out of the corner of his eye that Delic's eyes had narrowed and his expression soured. _What? Disappointed that you won't be able to tell my brother that you were the one who took care of me? _

"Sure," Kadota replied with a smile. "Let me just get something from the admissions office first then I'll come back for you."

"Okay," Hibiya watched as Kadota left, and the moment the door was shut behind him, Delic turned to Hibiya.

"I don't like the idea of Kadota taking you home." His tone was slightly angry, which was rare to hear for Hibiya as Delic usually never got seriously angry at him.

Hibiya blinked in surprise for a moment before he frowned and crossed his arms across his chest, "What are you, my mother? Kadota isn't doing anything right now, so I don't see why there's a problem with letting him take me home. You have class."

"I can miss class."

"And now you don't have to."

Delic was glaring now, a scowl marring his face as his hands were clenched into fists. "Fine," he growled under his breath, angrily exiting the infirmary and slamming the door shut.

Hibiya wanted to scream. Just what was his problem? So what if Kadota was taking him home? Did it really matter? Delic was only showing he cared so he could look good to his brother. "Idiot," he grumbled under his breath, letting out an exasperated sigh afterwards.

"Are you two fighting?" Shinra's voice broke through Hibiya's thoughts. "You both usually have a great relationship."

Hibiya wanted to laugh at those words. What relationship was there between them besides sex now? Since ever they started sleeping with each other, Hibiya had started to avoid Delic outside of the bedroom. It just seemed awkward, and Hibiya always felt dirty. Of course, he couldn't avoid Delic when his brother wanted to hang out with him and Delic, but more and more Hibiya was trying to think of excuses to get away from the both of them. He didn't want to face the two of them, especially when they were together. It hurt too much.

That stinging pain in his chest came back, and when Kadota came to pick Hibiya up, he found Hibiya curled into a ball, clenching his chest and holding back tears.

Kadota's surprised expression softened to one of care as he knelt next to bed, soothingly rubbing Hibiya's back, "You want to come over to my place? I'll make you some of my grandmother's tea. That always makes you feel better."

_If only Delic was as caring as Kadota_, Hibiya thought as he numbly nodded, not wanting to speak in fear that he'll finally break down and cry.

* * *

><p>Kadota's apartment was small, but stunning. He did most of the interior design himself, and some of the furniture in it he had handcrafted as well. In fact, as Hibiya admired the colorful wall murals Kadota had made, he sat on a wood frame couch Kadota had also made with plush, red cushions that Hibiya's body just sunk in. He always felt relaxed in Kadota's home; there was a just a healing quality to it.<p>

"Here, this hot tea should make you feel better," Kadota said as he offered a steaming mug to Hibiya. Hibiya gave him a grateful smile.

"Thanks Dotachin." He took a sip, reveling in the sweet taste of the hot tea that settled his stomach. He felt much better already.

Kadota just gave him that soft smile of his as he took a seat next to Hibiya, but then his smile dropped to a frown as he looked at Hibiya seriously, "Hibiya…" he started slowly. "Are you and Delic still…?" he trailed off, knowing that Hibiya would understand what he meant.

Hibiya froze, not really wanting to touch on the subject. Kadota was the only one who knew about the relationship between him and Delic. When Hibiya had first told him, Kadota hadn't judged him at all. He just gave Hibiya an understanding look and hugged him. That was the thing he loved about Kadota, and the reason why he trusted Kadota whole-heartedly. Kadota never pushed for more, he let Hibiya be the one to decide to tell him.

"Yeah," Hibiya sighed as he held the mug securely in his hands as a way for him to stay calm. He always felt better when he had something to focus on instead of letting his thoughts wander.

"Have you ever thought about ending it?" Kadota asked. The question wasn't meant to be insulting or question Hibiya's morals. It was an innocent question meant to get Hibiya to think about his situation. And that, Hibiya did. Why didn't he just end it? It was only hurting him, the more he thought it. To be intimate with Delic to such an extent, yet to know he wasn't the one Delic loved, it was sometimes unbearable to think of. And then while they did sleep with each other, Hibiya noted that the both of them had never ever showed love towards each other. Hibiya always left once the deed was done, and he never said anything besides insults, flirtations, and typical sex talk. Delic too, never said anything else, and he, not once in the six years they had this relationship, had ever kissed Hibiya. He was always careful to never kiss near Hibiya's lips. He would leave dark hickeys all over Hibiya's body, but his face and neck were always unblemished.

Hibiya wondered what would happen if he did end this relationship. Where would they go from there? Would they be friends again? Would Delic finally get together with his brother? Would they even be able to go back to how things were before? Hibiya didn't know if he'd be able to be friends with Delic again if the blonde got together with his brother. "I don't know," Hibiya answered honestly with a slight shake of his head. "I don't know what we would be without…" _Without sex_, a voice bitterly finished in his head.

"I see," Kadota murmured with a sad smile on his face. He looked at Hibiya with soft eyes, and his next action shocked Hibiya. Kadota had reached out and gently caressed Hibiya's face, his voice quiet as he spoke, "You should treasure yourself more."

And then…and then…it took a while for Hibiya to understand what was happening. They had been talking like normally, but suddenly they weren't talking as Kadota's lips gently touched his. Their lips barely brushed against each other, but the contact was still there. And, after the initial shock finally wore off, Hibiya realized that this was his first kiss.

And, he realized with disappointment, this wasn't what he had expected. That indescribable feeling people always associated with first kisses, like fireworks were exploding in the background although that seemed too meager to the actual feeling…he didn't feel. It just felt like his friend was kissing him. No fuzzy feelings, no fireworks, just…nothing.

_Why? _Hibiya wondered. _Why can't I fall in love with Kadota?_ It was a perfect choice. He trusted Kadota, and Kadota obviously felt something for him. Kadota was also smart, creative, and caring. He was perfect in almost every way. So why didn't Hibiya feel anything? Why did his heart not agree with his brain over what was good for him? Kadota was such a logical choice. Yet the only face Hibiya could see in his mind was _**his**_, with his disarrayed blonde hair, captivating magenta eyes, and that smirk. The smirk Hibiya hated and loved.

When Kadota finally pulled away, carefully evaluating Hibiya's reaction, he was not surprised to see that Hibiya was just overall shocked. Kadota's smile was slightly bitter, "I know this is sudden. But I hope you'll at least think of me as someone you could come to love."

"Dotachin," Hibiya's voice was sad.

"I won't ask for a response now," Kadota said as he held up his hands innocently. "But I was wondering, once you're better of course, if we could go on a trial date. Who knows, maybe you'll feel differently afterwards."

But Hibiya knew in the back of his mind he would never be able to feel the same way towards Kadota. Kadota was just his good friend. But what could hurt to go on a date? Maybe, by some miracle, he would be able to feel differently afterwards. Maybe he would finally be able to move on.

But still, a little part inside of him doubted that was possible.

* * *

><p>"<em>Can you even play any of these instruments?" eighteen year old Hibiya taunted as he curiously picked up an electric guitar that sat on a stand in a corner of Delic's room. He plucked the strings experimentally, listening to the sound they made. <em>

"_Of course I can," Delic snorted with disbelief as if he couldn't believe Hibiya was really questioning his talent as a frown spread across his face. _

"_Knowing how to play 'twinkle, twinkle little star' doesn't count," Hibiya teased with a snicker._

"_Hey, won't you play a song for us, Deli-nii?" Psyche requested, his eyes shining with anticipation and excitement as he looked up at the blonde. Hibiya slightly winced at the name. Since ever he had confessed, Psyche had taken to calling Delic that. It seemed too close to the Hibi-nii Psyche called him, and Hibiya wasn't sure what to think of it._

_Delic thought about what Psyche said for a moment but then shrugged and took the guitar from Hibiya's hands. He tested out a few notes, listening and tuning where appropriate. He then began to strum a simple tune, and soon his voice joined in. _

_This was the first time Hibiya had ever heard Delic sing, and while he wouldn't say that Delic had the voice of an angel, there was just something about Delic's voice that struck something inside of him. And then Hibiya heard the lyrics, and he could feel that pain in his chest again._

"_I see you standing here,_

_But you're so far away._

_Starving for your attention, _

_You don't even know my name…_

_Every single day,_

_I find it hard to say_

'_I could be yours alone…'_

_I'm stretching but you're just out of reach._

_You should know_

_I'm ready when you're ready for me._

_And I'm waiting for the right time, _

_For the day I catch your eye_

_To let you know _

_That I'm yours to hold…" _(1)

_Was Delic doing this on purpose? Was this song supposed to be about him? About how much he wanted Delic but knowing that he wouldn't get what he wanted no matter what. _

"_It sounds so sad," Psyche murmured from his spot on the bed. "What's it supposed to be about?" _

"_Unrequited love," Delic responded. "It's talking about how much this guy loves this person, and he's waiting for that person to notice him. But he just keeps waiting, and you never know if that person ever returns his feelings." _

_Hibiya felt his heart thump in his chest, those words hitting so close to home. "Wow, that is sad," he could hear his brother saying. "Can't you play a happier song, Deli-nii?" _

_Delic chuckled, ruffling Psyche's hair affectionately with a gentle smile on his face. "Alright, whatever you want Psyche-chan." He started to sing a more upbeat song but the words were lost to Hibiya. All Hibiya could think about was the lyrics of the first song Delic had sung. _

_I see you standing here, but you're so far away…I'm stretching but you're just out of reach. Hibiya watched as his brother smiled while listening to Delic play a song especially for him. His chest stung with pain again, and Hibiya unconsciously clenched his chest. The pain wouldn't go away though. _

"_That was great, Deli-nii!" Psyche cheered gleefully as he applauded the blonde. "Another song! Encore, encore!" Delic chuckled at Psyche's actions._

_Hibiya didn't even bother to say goodbye to them, he just turned and left the room as his brother called questionably after him. He was unable to stand the sight of the two of them anymore as the pain in his chest grew. Hibiya felt like he was drowning, but every time he took a breath instead of feeling relieved he felt like he was only falling deeper. And he was waiting. Waiting for someone to save him, yet not knowing if anyone would._

* * *

><p>Hibiya woke up with a gasp, sweat dripping down his face. He felt gross as his pajamas stuck to his skin, and he could feel he was still a bit feverish. And maybe that was why he was having these dreams. Dreams about his past and more specifically times he had shared with Delic.<p>

With a tired sigh, Hibiya collapsed back onto the bed. He took a few minutes to recall what had happened before he had fallen asleep. After Kadota's surprising confession, the man had dropped Hibiya off home, making sure he was comfortable and taken care of before heading off. Hibiya turned to the side and saw a steaming cup of tea sitting on his nightstand, waiting for him. An eyebrow rose with curiosity as he sat up and took the cup into his hands. Maybe Kadota didn't actually go home before he fell asleep?

With some effort, as he still felt a bit sluggish over his fever, Hibiya got up and walked out of his room. Once he stepped out, he could hear the quiet noises of someone shuffling in the kitchen and smell the delicious scent of cinnamon which made his mouth water. He realized he hadn't eaten anything at all last night, and he was hungry.

"Dotachin? Is that you?" Hibiya turned around the corner of the hallway to peek inside his kitchen. He almost dropped the tea in his hands. Standing at the stove, making cinnamon French toast, was not the brunette he had expected but a tall blonde who turned to Hibiya with a slight frown on his face.

"I'm pretty sure I'm not Kadota. I have better hair after all," Delic muttered as he flipped the toast on the pan onto a plate.

Although he knew better than to get his hopes up, Hibiya couldn't help but feel elated to see Delic taking care of him while he was sick. Perhaps the blonde did care for him in some way? But then his hopes were dashed as another figure popped into the kitchen. "Good morning, Hibi-nii! Are you feeling better?"

_Should have known,_ Hibiya thought as he forced himself to smile at his brother. Of course the only reason Delic was here was because Psyche was worried about him. "I'm fine, Psyche."

Psyche looked apprehensive though as he looked at his brother, "You don't look good to me."

"I'm still just a bit feverish, but if I sleep it off today I'll be better by tomorrow," Hibiya told him, walking towards the breakfast nook connected to his kitchen. He didn't bother to hide his miserable expression now, knowing he can blame it on the cold. "The two of you didn't have to come over."

"Yeah right, you can't even take care of yourself enough so you won't get a cold, much less take care of yourself when you have one," Delic snorted as he placed three plates of French toast onto the table.

_And whose fault do you think it is that I have a cold?_ Hibiya thought as he glared at the blonde. The blonde seemed to read his look but only meaningfully looked at Psyche with a frown. Hibiya knew what he was trying to say.

_Don't dare mention our 'relationship' in front of Psyche._

_Why can't you care for me like that? _Hibiya thought sadly as he looked away from the blonde and began to poke his French toast, tuning out the mindless chatter of Psyche who talked excitedly with Delic about some music show or whatever.

"Hibi-nii? Hibi-nii, are you listening to me?" Hibiya snapped out of his daze as he turned to his brother who looked a bit miffed that Hibiya wasn't listening.

"What did you say?" Hibiya asked, trying not to show his brother his jealousy towards him right now.

"I said, do you want to come with Deli-nii and me to the music festival? It's in Kyoto, and it's during our upcoming holiday so we were thinking of staying there for a week. I was thinking we could show Deli-nii the sights," Psyche repeated with a wide smile on his face.

Kyoto. At the sound of his hometown, Hibiya felt a bit nostalgic and desired to return. He hadn't visited in a long time and he missed it. But to go with Delic and Psyche? And to spend a week with them, spending time together and knowing their feelings for each other? He didn't know if he could do it. Not alone anyway.

"Sounds like a good idea," Hibiya said with a slight nod of his head, "but can I bring Dotachin with me?"

"Sure!" Psyche cheerfully agreed just as Delic questioned with a scowl, "Why Dotachin?" Delic looked a bit angry as the two brothers turned to look at him with curious expressions. Hibiya wondered if he was objecting to Dotachin coming along because he had wanted Hibiya to say no and not come along too. So he wanted him and Psyche to be all alone then?

Hibiya felt himself getting angry again. Why should he base his decisions on what Delic wanted? Did Delic really think that just because they slept together, he could treat Hibiya however he wanted? _Well fuck him_, Hibiya thought as his eyes narrowed in defiance, "I just think it'll be more fun with more people."

"Kadota's probably not going to enjoy himself anyway," Delic argued.

"How would you know?" Hibiya retorted with a glare. "You're not Dotachin."

"What if he doesn't even want to go?" Delic pointed out.

"I'll call him right now then," Hibiya grabbed his cordless house phone from the side of the kitchen counter near the breakfast nook and started to punch in Kadota's phone number. Kadota picked up on the third ring.

"_Hello?_"

"Dotachin!" Hibiya greeted rather cheerfully, ignoring the nasty look Delic was giving him. "Hey, you want to go to Kyoto for a week? There's a music festival happening there during our next holiday, and my brother and Delic are wondering if you wanted to tag along with us."

There was a pitiful chuckle on the other end. "_You just don't want to be alone with them, Hibiya_."

A faint smile played on Hibiya's lips. Kadota knew him too well. "So do you want to go?"

"_Alright, I'll be your knight in shining armor and save you from being a third wheel_."

"Great!" Hibiya really meant it when he said it. Having Kadota nearby would make facing Delic and Psyche together on vacation a lot better. "I look forward to it."

And as he hung up the phone, Hibiya realized he really did look forward to the trip.

* * *

><p><strong>Love shapes are just my absolute favorite to write. *hearts* Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. I bet no one was expecting Kadota! (Crack pairing anyone? Haha.) :3 And to be honest, I've always suspected Kadota was gay…<strong>

**Anyway, sorry if you guys find any mistakes. I proofread this piece by piece so I may have missed some things. But I hope this can satisfy you guys until the next update. I'm not sure when I'll get time to write because October is going to be a busy month for me, what with midterms coming up and projects and research papers being due (T_T). But I'll try my best to update as soon as I can! **

**Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

**-Xaleria**

(1) These lyrics are an excerpt from the song "Yours to Hold" by Skillet. The song is actually more optimistic than I made it sound (as I took only the best fitting lyrics from it). But it's a great song, feel free to look it up! I kind of imagine Delic's voice sounding like the singer's except maybe more smoother. But yeah, Delic kind of strikes me as the type to be in a rock band. :)


	7. Delic & Hibiya 3

**Hm, I wanted to make this chapter shorter, but since you guys had to wait over five days for this I decided to make it longer to make up for being gone. Enjoy~!**

**WARNING: **This story is rated M so it will contain boyxboy lime/lemon in later chapters. You have been forewarned.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters. Nor do I own the song in this chapter.**

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><p><strong>Delic &amp; Hibiya<strong>

_Eighteen-year-old Hibiya held his breath, afraid that letting it out would get him caught. Not that he was doing anything bad, he just didn't want to be seen. He clenched his chest tightly, his face unconsciously scrunching up in pain as that sharp sting seemed to stab straight at his heart. He wondered if the pain was really there or if it was just his imagination._

_Looking out of the corner of his eyes, he peered over the side of the door into the room, his eyes landing on the blonde inside. He never meant to but somehow his eyes could always find Delic in a room. Delic stood beside his bed, his hair messy as usual, his pink eyes as glowing as they always were in Hibiya's eyes. The only thing odd about his appearance was the soft, gentle smile on his face, replacing Delic's usual self assured smirk. How much Hibiya had always wished Delic would smile at him like that. But those smiles were always reserved for someone else. Someone who shared the same face as him, but wasn't Hibiya._

_Hibiya's golden eyes then landed on the person Delic was looking at: his twin brother, sitting on Delic's bed and excitedly handing the blonde something. Delic took it in his hands, his eyes wide with shock and happiness. The blonde smiled softly again at Psyche. The pain in Hibiya's chest rose suddenly, and Hibiya had to bite his lip to keep back a cry of pain. _

_Why does he look at you like that? Why doesn't he show that smile to me? Why does he care so much about you? Why can't he care about me like that?_

_Why is it you?_

_Why isn't it me?_

_Why can't I be you?_

_What's wrong with me?_

_The thoughts swirled in Hibiya's head, making him dizzy. He slowly backed away from the door, the colorfully wrapped box in his hands suddenly seeming heavy. Once he was sure he wouldn't be heard, Hibiya whirled around and ran out of the house. He didn't stop running until he was safely locked in his room next door. His chest heaved with heavy breaths and his face was flushed from running so fast. He didn't notice that his hands were shaking until the box in them fell, making a slight thumping noise as it contacted with the ground._

_Hibiya's golden eyes turned to it, and he could feel the sudden surge of emotion in his chest as he reached down and tore off the bright, hot pink wrapping paper. The paper was torn away to reveal a simple, white box and inside were a pair of white and pink headphones, something that Delic had been wanting forever. Something Hibiya had specially picked out for today._

_It was Delic's birthday. And Hibiya had been hoping to surprise Delic with his gift._

_But it looked like Psyche beat him to it._

_Why? Hibiya thought again as he leaned against the wall, sliding down to the ground, looking at the headphones with sad eyes. For once, he hated his brother. They had fought with each other, like brothers do, but Hibiya had never hated his brother like he hated him now._

_Psyche already had Delic's love. All Hibiya had was a twisted, sex relationship with Delic. Did his brother really need to take away more? _

_In a moment of rage, Hibiya threw the headphones at the wall opposite of him, the box smashing and crumpling as it fell back to the ground. The headphones were probably broken now, just as Hibiya felt. Hibiya looked up at the ceiling, holding his chest and forcing himself to not cry. He didn't cry. Crying meant he was weak. And he wasn't weak. But he couldn't help but think…_

_Why can't you love me?_

* * *

><p>Hibiya blinked slowly as he awoke, unconsciously frowning at the horrible memory that lingered in his mind.<p>

"You have a nightmare?" a voice softly whispered in his ear, and Hibiya turned his head up to look at his right, Kadota smiling gently down at him. Hibiya tried not to blush as he realized he had fallen asleep on Kadota's shoulder, and then Hibiya remembered. They were on the bullet train to Kyoto, which was about a two and half hour trip. They were going to a music festival, and they were with Delic and Psyche.

"Something like that," Hibiya mumbled in response, shifting around to get comfortable and away from Kadota. But then Hibiya realized that the brunette had placed his arm around Hibiya, keeping him close.

"Hibi-nii, you and Dotachin must have a good relationship, huh?" The two turned to their traveling partners sitting across from them. Psyche was looking at them with a curious and calculating look in his eyes as he smiled slyly. Delic looked a bit put off as he looked out the window.

"Oh yeah, we're very close," Kadota answered before Hibiya could say anything, giving Hibiya a quick hug as he winked suggestively at Psyche. The pink-eyed raven giggled while the blonde's mouth further downturned into a frown.

Hibiya just shrugged, looking out the window as well as he didn't really want to look at Delic or Psyche, the dream still fresh in his mind. But a small smile tugged on his lips as he began to see familiar trees and buildings. A voice came on the speaker system, announcing their arrival in Kyoto.

He was home.

* * *

><p>Hibiya could hardly contain his excitement as he looked out the window of the taxi, taking the sights of his hometown. How much he had missed Kyoto. In fact, he was a little disappointed when the taxi arrived to their hotel. He really wanted to go out and explore. But they, currently, had quite a dilemma.<p>

"Wait, why do I have to room with him?" Delic asked as he rudely jerked him thumb to Kadota. The brunette did not seem pleased with the situation either.

"Well, do you want to room with either me or Hibi-nii then?" Psyche asked. Delic paused while Hibiya grimaced. Hibiya didn't like the idea of Psyche and Delic rooming together, but then he didn't really want to be alone with Delic in a room either. He wanted a break from their relationship this week.

"Look, since I invited him, I'll room with Kadota and you can room with Psyche, Delic," Hibiya finally decided, grabbing the card keys from Delic before the blonde could say anything and dragging Kadota to the elevator. Once the two of them were inside, Hibiya let out a tired sigh.

"You alright, Hibiya?" Kadota asked in a quiet voice, soothingly rubbing Hibiya's back.

"I'm fine, just tired," Hibiya sighed, knowing Kadota knew just what he was tired of.

"Hey, how about after we drop off our bags, you and I go explore? I know you've been dying to get out there since ever we arrived," Kadota suggested as he smiled at Hibiya, hoping the raven would return his smile. And Hibiya did.

"Sounds like a good idea, Dotachin." Hibiya was really glad he asked Kadota to come along. Kadota was always looking out for him.

_If only I could fall in love with you, Dotachin._ Hibiya thought sadly as the elevator finally came to their floor and the two of them stepped out. _Then everything would be so much easier._

* * *

><p>"Look Dotachin, that used to be my favorite park as a kid," Hibiya said as he pointed out a quaint park with cherry blossom trees blooming, couples and families walking around, and kids playing their games in a playground.<p>

"You must really miss being here, huh?" Kadota asked with a wide smile on his face, his hands in his pockets as he strolled through the streets of Kyoto with Hibiya.

"Yeah, I do," Hibiya murmured softly, a small, nostalgic smile on his face as he slowed his excited, fast pace to match with Kadota's more relaxed one. Hibiya looked around at the city, breathing in the familiar, crisp air. The sky was a bright blue and everything was beautiful. He could almost see himself as a kid, running through the streets of Kyoto with his brother as they hurried off to school. His memories were then interrupted when he felt warmth on his hand, rough fingers as a sign of a hardworking person intertwining around his. Hibiya looked down, willing away the blush that almost colored his cheeks as Kadota held his hand in his.

The brunette looked at Hibiya out of the corner of his eyes, only smiling softly as he walked on, his hand clasped with Hibiya's. "So since it's just us here, can I think of this as our trail date?" Kadota inquired curiously.

"I guess," Hibiya replied in a quiet voice, trying not to feel awkward about this situation.

Sensing this, Kadota led Hibiya towards a shop nearby. "How about we go in here?"

Hibiya looked up at the store sign, a simple wooden moniker with the word, "Créateur", on it. He allowed Kadota to lead him inside, where a woman greeted them with a warm smile. Kadota said something quietly to the woman, and Hibiya wondered what they were talking about as he saw the woman's eyes widen and a blush color her cheeks. She then smiled widely and motioned to Kadota to a corner in the building where a large, round object sat. Confused and curious, Hibiya just followed Kadota to the round thing and allowed the brunette to sit him on a bench. There was then a whirlwind of activity as the woman came back, a mushy, pliable object in her hands that she set down on the large round thing. Hibiya noticed it was clay when Kadota suddenly appeared out of nowhere and placed an apron on Hibiya, one on himself as well. Hibiya almost squeaked in surprise when the large, round wheel started to move very quickly, the clay spinning.

"Don't worry, I'll be here to help you out," Kadota reassured as he saw the apprehensive look on Hibiya's face. Hibiya didn't protest when Kadota suddenly sat behind him, his chest pressed against the raven's back. He allowed Kadota to grab his hands and guide them to the clay, Kadota's fingers circling around Hibiya's as their hands rounded out the edges of the clay. It felt squishy and wet against Hibiya's fingers as Kadota guided them up and down the length of clay, making the clay about a foot tall.

Hibiya then began to relax, trusting Kadota to guide him as their hands moved together, forming the clay into a creation. Kadota's hands felt rough against his but warm, and Hibiya wondered again why he couldn't fall in love with Kadota. Sure, Kadota wasn't Delic, but wasn't that the point? Didn't he want to get away from Delic? Didn't he want to escape heartbreak? Why reject a man who loved him so much? Kadota was so caring towards him all the time. Kadota knew everything about him, and Kadota knew how to make him feel better. Hibiya found that he didn't really mind the idea of being with the brunette.

_Maybe it's finally time to end this,_ Hibiya thought as he leaned against Kadota. Of course, he was referring to ending his relationship with Delic. To unrequitedly love someone for over six years…it was too much. Maybe Kadota finally confessing was destiny's way of saying that Hibiya should give up on his love for Delic. And Kadota wasn't a bad choice. He was good looking, kind, hard-working. He wasn't cocky. He treated Hibiya special. And most importantly, he loved Hibiya. And that's all Hibiya had ever wanted from Delic. To be loved by him. To be the most important person for once, instead of his brother.

Hibiya watched as Kadota guided his fingers to press down into the clay, thinning out a part of it so that the top curved outward like a spout. It was quite amazing that he was here, creating something new. Briefly, Hibiya looked up, seeing Kadota's intense concentration on correctly molding this piece of clay into something beautiful.

Hibiya resolved something in the back of his mind. As he made this clay, he would remake himself. He would give up on Delic, and try it out with Kadota. Like with the clay, a relationship with Kadota would take concentration and hard work, but in the end, if he did his best, he would get something beautiful.

* * *

><p>It was the first night of the week long music festival. Psyche had said that there would be something special about the first night. Hibiya wondered what it was as he clutched the bag that held his safely wrapped pottery. He thought of the initials and date Kadota had carved out on the bottom and his thought from earlier came back to his mind. He would definitely end his and Delic's relationship today. Once they got back to the hotel, he would ask Delic for them to speak alone and he would end it. Hibiya felt his heart twinge slightly at that thought, and he wondered if the pain would ever go away.<p>

But he didn't have long to think about it as he heard his brother call out, "Hibi-nii! Dotachin! Over here!" Psyche waved them over to a place close to the stage. Hibiya and Kadota made their way through packed bodies, Psyche scooting as much as he could to make room for them.

"Where's Delic, Psyche?" Hibiya inquired when he saw that the blonde wasn't with his brother.

"You'll see," Psyche said mysteriously with a mischievous spark in his magenta eyes.

"Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls of all ages," a loud voice boomed from the stage just as Psyche did an excited jump and squealed, "It's starting." A tall, milky-skinned man stood on the stage. Hibiya noted he wore a bandage wrapped around his forehead and under his right eye, and Hibiya wondered what it was supposed to be for. The man's coffee colored brown eyes shone with excitement as one of his hands placed a tan fedora over his red-brown hair as the other hand grabbed the mic and put it close to his mouth, "Are you guys ready to rock?"

A bunch of cheers sounded throughout the stadium in response to the man's question. The man made an abashed expression, as if someone told him something he didn't want to know. "Aw, come on now, I know y'all can do better than that." Increasing the volume of his voice, the guy screamed, "I SAID ARE YOU GUYS READY TO ROCK?"

The crowd screamed louder, the guy nodded his head in satisfaction as he smiled. Hibiya wondered if all music festivals were like this. "That's more like it. Now I know you all are excited and looking forward to your favorite bands performing, but as you know it's a tradition here on the first night for new and upcoming talent to perform. You see, our sponsors of this festival always look forward to signing on new talent, but only one, that's right, one, performer can be signed onto their label tonight. And that's where you guys come in. You guys get to pick which performer you like best later on tonight when we hand out the ballots." There was an excited cheer throughout the crowd again.

Hibiya's eyes widened as he realized what Psyche meant about this night being special. "Psyche, don't tell me Delic's performing?"

Psyche smiled widely as he nodded vigorously. "Just listen, it gets better."

"And not only will the winning performer get a chance at a record deal, but tonight, if they win, they get to walk out of this festival with $5,000. Yup, you heard right. That's $5,000, in cash. Now are you all ready to see our lucky performers?" Loud cheering again blocked out the noise of the speaker as Hibiya looked up at the stage.

"Alright then!" the speaker smiled widely as he did a flourish bow and gestured to the group walking into the stage. "Please give a warm welcome to the first performer of the night: Psychedelic Dreams."

Hibiya felt his heart twist in pain again at the sound of the name. It was Psyche and Delic's name put together. Did this mean they finally had told each other their feelings? Hibiya watched as Delic appeared on the center stage, people cheering in the crowd. He wore a pure white suit with a bright pink black stripe button up shirt. Delic loosened a black tie around his neck slightly with one hand as the other held his electric guitar. He began to strum a soft tune on his guitar before his voice joined in. Everyone in the stadium hushed as Delic's voice, smooth like honey, filled the air.

"_D'you breathe the name of your savior in your hour of need,_

_ And taste the blame if the flavor should remind you of greed?_

_ Of implication, insinuation and ill will, 'til you cannot lie still,_

_ In all this turmoil, before red cape and foil come closing in for a kill_."

Right before the chorus there was a slight pause before suddenly the music became louder. Delic strummed his guitar more, grabbing the mic as he swayed his head slightly with the music, singing as loud as he could:

"_Come feed the rain_

_ 'cause I'm thirsty for your love dancing underneath the skies of lust_

_ Yeah, feed the rain_

_ 'cause without your love my life ain't nothing but this carnival of rust_."

And then it was quiet again, the music slower, his voice softer.

"_It's all a game, avoiding failure, when true colors will bleed_

_ All in the name of misbehavior and the things we don't need_

_ I lust for after no disaster can touch, touch us anymore_

_ And more than ever, I hope to never fall, where enough is not the same it was before_."

And again, the music grew louder, his voice grew louder. More emotion was put into the lyrics as Delic grabbed the mic, singing his heart out. Hibiya could hardly take his eyes off of the blonde, the crowd also the same. It was like Delic had put them all in a trance. Hibiya wouldn't be surprised if Delic won in the end.

"_Come feed the rain..._

_ 'cause I'm thirsty for your love dancing underneath the skies of lust_

_ Yeah, feed the rain_

_ 'cause without your love my life ain't nothing but this carnival of rust_

_ Yeah, feed the rain_

_ 'cause I'm thirsty for your love dancing underneath the skies of lust_

_ Yeah, feed the rain_

_ 'cause without your love my life ain't nothing but this carnival of rust_."

Delic dragged out the last note of the chorus before he stopped, the music fading out slightly before coming back. Delic spoke the next part softly at first, his voice growing in volume with each word:

"_Don't walk away, don't walk away, oh, when the world is burning_

_ Don't walk away, don't walk away, oh, when the heart is yearning_

_ Don't walk away, don't walk away, oh, when the world is burning_

_ Don't walk away, don't walk away, oh, when the heart is yearning_." (1)

Again, Delic dragged out the last note before he stopped singing and the other instruments faded. Soon it was just Delic's guitar letting out a simple tune before it too stopped. And for a moment, there was nothing but silence in the stadium, and then the crowd erupted into a roar, people cheering and whistling. A chant of "Psychedelic Dreams" began throughout the crowd, and Hibiya saw Delic smile.

And Hibiya could feel it. In his chest, his heart welled with emotion and overflowed with love. He would never be able to get over Delic. Even when he tried, the blonde somehow made his way back into his heart.

_I've got to stop this,_ Hibiya thought as he closed his eyes, holding his hand to his chest to feel his heart beating. _I've got to stop this before I'm trapped. Before it's too late and I can't let go._

Hibiya added onto his resolve. Tonight he would not only end his relationship with Delic, he would stop all contact. He would tell Kadota what he decided, and he would ask Kadota if they could leave Kyoto. And once they got back in Ikebukuro, Hibiya would pack up and leave. He would leave behind everything that reminded him of the blonde. He would start new, start fresh.

He would get as far away as possible from Delic.

* * *

><p><em>Meet me in my room at ten tonight. <em>That had been what the text he had sent to Delic said. Hibiya breathed out, trying to calm himself. He had told Kadota what he was going to do, so the brunette had agreed to leave them alone for a while. He went off to the hotel bar to kill time while he waited for Hibiya to resolve his business with Delic. Kadota tried not to blatantly show it, but he was happy that Hibiya finally decided to end his sex friend relationship with Delic.

Hibiya thought back to earlier that night. Like he had predicted, Delic had won the competition. He had been a crowd favorite, and they had even asked for an encore. Of course, Delic had obliged. It had then taken Delic a while to leave the festival as he spoke with the sponsors about his record deal, and Delic collected his cash prize.

There was a knock at the door and Hibiya felt his heart jump in his chest. It didn't calm down even as Hibiya took in a deep breath and slowly walked to the door. His heart just thumped louder in his chest as he placed his hand on the doorknob and turned. Delic stood on the other side, his signature smirk on his face as he greeted Hibiya, "Hey there Hibi-kun. Good timing with your message, there was something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Let me speak first," Hibiya quickly stated, wanting to get his news over with as fast as possible. Delic nodded in agreement, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind him. Hibiya felt slightly awkward standing there with Delic's eyes on him. He took in a deep breath again and looked at the floor. It gave him more courage to do this if he didn't have to look into Delic's eyes. "Delic, I want to end this. Our relationship. I don't—" Hibiya stopped as he tried to think of the right words. "I don't think this is working out for me."

It was quiet. Hibiya looked up slightly—to see how Delic reacted—and was shocked to find pure rage expressed across the blonde's face. Hibiya didn't even have time to think about this as he was suddenly grabbed harshly and pushed against a wall, Delic's hands pinning his arms to it. Delic's voice was angered as he spoke, "Is this all because of Kadota? Did he—" Delic stopped, his mouth in a tight line as his eyes narrowed. "I don't agree to this."

Hibiya felt his face turn red but red with his own anger, "It doesn't matter whether you agree or not! I started this, so I can end this whenever I want. Now let go of me, Delic. I'm going home!"

"Are you leaving with Kadota?" Delic demanded. "Is he the one who put this stupid idea into your head?"

Hibiya felt himself get defensive as he glared at the blonde, "Don't try to blame Kadota for this! This was my own idea! Kadota's been nothing but supportive of me! He's done nothing wrong."

Delic snorted in disbelief rolling his eyes, "Why the hell are you defending him? Have you been sleeping with him too, is that why you're ending this? Tired of one guy so you just move onto the nex—" Delic didn't get a chance to finish his sentence as Hibiya pulled his hand free and slapped Delic across the face as hard as he could. Delic's cheek stung and it was red as he turned to look at Hibiya shocked. Hibiya had never felt so angry with Delic as he did now.

He could feel his eyes water as he hissed, "You're such an ass."

Before Delic could say anything else, Hibiya pushed him away and ran out of the room. He ran into an elevator an elderly couple was conveniently stepping out of and pressed the button for the lobby. He could feel his body shaking, his heart erratically beating in his chest, water pooling at the corner of his eyes. Once the elevator dinged and the doors opened, Hibiya ran out. He bumped into Kadota, who called out worriedly to him, but Hibiya didn't stop. He ran out of the hotel, into the streets, and just kept running. He wanted to get as far away from the hotel as possible.

But then he felt it in his chest. That stinging pain. And suddenly it was hard to breathe. Hibiya stopped as another sharp pain tore through his chest, his knees growing weak. He fell to the ground, clenching his chest as it felt like a thousand hot needles were poking at his heart. He gasped for breath but found it difficult to do so. His mind was spinning and his vision with blurring, because of the tears or the inability to breathe he didn't know. He could hear someone shouting his name with worry, but he didn't know who it was. All he could think of was the pain in his chest, in his heart.

And before he blacked out, he wondered again, was it possible to die of a broken heart?

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><p><strong>I'm so evil leaving you guys with a cliffhanger. I'm sorry.<strong>

**But I do have good news! Because of how this chapter ended, I've decided that the next chapter will be told from Delic's POV. This is because I pretty much told this entire story from Hibiya's POV, and next chapter you guys will get to see how Delic viewed this entire story along with what Delic did behind the scenes in each chapter (mostly this one). So next chapter will be a pretty long chappie I'm hoping. Not sure yet if I'll make the next chapter the very last chapter of this story (it depends on how long it ends up being). But I'm thinking it might not be.**

**Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and sorry for the wait.**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

**-Xaleria**

(1) These lyrics are from the song "Carnival of Rust" by Poets of the Fall. It's a great song so please feel free to look it up! The singer's voice is just how I imagine Delic's if he were to speak English. XD


	8. Delic & Hibiya 4

**WARNING: **VERY long chapter ahead guys! So get comfortable because you're gonna be here awhile. XD

**And I just wanted to say I've received 65 reviews for this story which is the most I've ever gotten for my Durarara fanfics! :D Really, thanks so much guys for all the lovely things you say. :) They make me happy and a happy me equals an inspired to write me. And sorry I haven't replied to last chapter's reviews yet, I really wanted to get this chapter written up and posted so I've been writing every free time I get. I'll reply to all the reviews soon!**

**Also, I want to thank those who added this to their favorite stories and alerted it! :D**

**WARNING: **This story is rated M so it will contain boyxboy lime/lemon. There will be_ lemon_ in this chapter. You have been forewarned.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters.**

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><p><strong>Delic &amp; Hibiya<strong>

"Shit," Delic grumbled as he pulled out a cigarette from a carton with his teeth. He mussed up his blonde hair as he looked at the naked, teenage girl sleeping next to him. He lit the cigarette as he tried to recall her name. Risa? Riyo? Rina? Ah, Rina sounded right. But it wasn't like he cared anyway. She was just some girl who happened to be at the same party as him and they had both been drunk and horny.

Delic took a drag of his cigarette and then breathed out, looking around for his gakuen uniform. He instead spotted the girl's uniform on the ground: a blazer and tie with a checkered skirt signifying she was from some ritzy private high school. That meant she was older than him, not that it seemed she minded of course. Delic turned to look at the girl again, kind of disappointed. She hadn't been satisfying as he had hoped because he still felt empty. Delic took in another drag as he wondered why he felt like this. Why his life seemed so empty, and why it seemed like he was the only one who was missing something.

Just as Delic finally put out his cigarette, he heard the rustling of sheets and arms wrapped around his bare chest as a sultry voice whispered in his ear, "Last night was great. Who knew a middle schooler like you could be so good in bed."

Delic only gave her his classic smirk as he stood up—hardly looking like the fifteen year old boy he was at his height—and started to pick up his clothes off the ground and get dressed. He didn't really want to talk to her. Actually, now that she was awake and he saw her without alcohol clouding his vision, he wondered what the heck he had found so appealing about her last night.

"What, you're leaving already? Why don't you stay a little longer?" she asked with a dramatic pout.

"Sorry, but this middle schooler actually has to graduate," Delic charmingly smiled as he pulled on his gakuen jacket, not bothering to button it up. He also didn't even bother giving her a proper goodbye. He just walked out of the room, hoping to never see the girl again.

_I really should stop doing this,_ Delic sighed as he stepped out of the love hotel and began his trek to school. But that empty feeling inside of him nagged at him. It cried out, begging to be filled. Begging Delic to stop being so restless and find something or someone to fill the gap inside of him. He frowned at himself, telling himself he was searching. He had always been searching.

He tried just about everything to fill the emptiness. Alcohol, sex, drugs—though after his first try, Delic found he hadn't liked the stuff and had never touched it again. He gave his parents bunch of headaches, especially since he was so young. But still that empty feeling inside of him persisted, and he wondered if he would ever get rid of it.

* * *

><p><em>So hot,<em> Delic thought as he fanned himself, sticking the rest of a popsicle in his mouth as the cold treat cooled his mouth, the juicy flavor pleasuring his taste buds. He pinned up his hair out of his face with a clip, tugging at the collar of his tank top. Why the hell was it always so goddamn hot during the summer?

"Delic! Come down and meet our new neighbors!" he heard his mother calling from downstairs. The blonde groaned though with annoyance. He really didn't feel like moving or meeting the people who moved in next door, but knowing his mom she'd just march up the stairs and drag him down there if need be. With an exasperated sigh, he begrudgingly got up from his bed and walked downstairs. He saw his mom standing by their open front door. There were four people in front of their door. Two adults and two kids. But Delic didn't really notice the rest. His eyes fell on only one person.

"Delic, this is the new family that moved in next door," his mother explained. "They have two boys that are just a year younger than you, and they're twins!"

But Delic had hardly heard her. He was too busy thinking that he was imagining things. That there was no way the person in front of him was real. He was like an angel in the flesh. He had pale, ivory skin that was unblemished, inky black hair that resembled the night sky and eyes a golden hue. And suddenly Delic could feel a warm feeling spread inside his chest, and he realized that this was it. This had been what he was waiting for. This person who could fill the emptiness inside of him.

"The older one with gold eyes in Hibiya, and the younger one with pink eyes in Psyche," their mother had introduced.

_Hibiya_, Delic thought. Even his name sounded beautiful. Everything about this boy was beautiful. And suddenly, Delic felt the urge to hide as he thought of everything he had done wrong in his life. How could be deserving of this angel when he had screwed up his life? When he was so dirty and corrupted. How could he taint this pure, innocent boy in front of him?

But Delic felt the desire burning in his heart, more than he had ever felt before. But he forced it down, smiling amiably at them. And suddenly his angel's lips curled just the tiniest bit upward into a small, sweet smile in response.

_Is this what love is supposed to feel like?_ Delic thought as his heart thumped in his chest, the smile Hibiya had given him making him feel all warm and fuzzy. It made Delic feel a strong urge to protect this boy from everything bad in the world. And most especially, protect this boy from himself.

* * *

><p>The next three years of his life were both heaven and hell. Delic tried his best to maintain a neutral friendship with Hibiya, to never cross that line. But it was so difficult sometimes to stand next to Hibiya and not be tempted to touch him, kiss him, and shower him with affection. Delic looked for an outlet for these feelings. He tried dating girls, but every girl he dated could never compare to his angel. And they all ended up dumping him because they could tell he wasn't really into their relationship. He tried so hard to find someone who was like Hibiya, but someone who wasn't untouchable to him. And that was when he began to get closer to Hibiya's twin brother.<p>

It was so easy, because Psyche looked so much like his angel but wasn't him. It was so much easier to smile at him, treat him gently, and show him a bit more affection than Delic usually showed. Because Psyche reminded him of Hibiya so much, but the warning he gave himself wasn't there to stop him.

But he hadn't meant for that to backfire on him.

"I love you, Delic-nii-san," Psyche confessed, shyly looking at the ground as he twisted his hands together nervously.

Delic felt a bit guilty that Psyche was here, honestly confessing his feelings, and all he could think about was, _If only it was his brother. _Psyche was a good guy, and Delic found he liked him. But he didn't love him. _How do I not hurt his feelings?_ Delic wondered.

"Ah, thanks," Delic pathetically mumbled, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. "But…" he sighed. "Look, Psyche, it just wouldn't feel right to me to go out with you." _Because the one I love is your brother, not you. How can I go out with you with such half-hearted feelings? Wouldn't that be cruel?_

Delic frowned sadly as the expression on Psyche's face fell. He could see the smaller boy's body tremble, and Delic could see tears threatening to fall from the raven's face. He became panicked. He hadn't meant to make the boy cry. "Psyche, please, god, please don't cry," Delic begged as he quickly went to hug the boy reassuringly. Seeing tears on Psyche's face unsettled him. It was like seeing his angel cry, and he didn't like the idea of tears on his angel's face.

"I-I-Is this s-so-some kind of con-so-lation?" Psyche stuttered between sobs. He shook his head, trying to push the blonde away.

"Psyche," Delic sighed, his facial expression tightening as he tried to think of the nicest way to say this. "I just…I just don't want to hurt you. Aw dammit, I'm sorry, Psyche. Can you stop crying please?"

Psyche shakily nodded, slowly taking in breaths as he wiped away his tears. Once he was calmed down, Delic pulled away. He still held onto Psyche though as he looked at the raven boy's pink eyes seriously, "Psyche, I'm sorry. It just wouldn't be right if I went out with you because you're so innocent. And I don't want to hurt you."

Psyche was quiet for a moment before he nodded his head slowly, "Okay, I think I understand."

Inwardly, Delic sighed, relieved. "Good. And don't worry Psyche, we'll still be friends."

At that, a wide smile broke out across Psyche's face. "Alright."

If only he knew ahead of time of the chain of events his words would cause.

* * *

><p><em>Why the hell is so hot?<em> Delic thought angrily. The summer of his eighteenth year was the hottest he could remember. "Damn," he cursed, fanning himself with some loose music sheet papers he had lying around. He really wished his mom was home so he could complain about the broken air conditioner to her again. But of course she would conveniently be gone for two days.

The sound of the doorbell broke through his thoughts. With an annoyed snarl, Delic got up and rushed down the stairs, opening the door. "Yeah?" He was shocked to see Hibiya standing there. His heart began to beat faster in his chest as he said, "Hibi-kun."

"Can I come in?" Hibiya asked, his mouth curling up into a smile. Delic could feel the desire pooling in the pit of his stomach. It had been a while since he had spoken to Hibiya, the raven busy with his student council duties. It had been a long while since Delic had seen his smile, and seeing it now brought back those happy, fuzzy feelings.

"Sure," he shrugged, trying to appear casual although he could feel his palms sweating. He moved aside and let Hibiya in. As Hibiya passed by, Delic caught a whiff of a sweet, subtle scent, and he gulped nervously as he eyed the bare skin of the raven's neck peeking out from the collar of his shirt. "Wanna go up to my room?"

Hibiya nodded to him and Delic quickly led the way upstairs. By now, Hibiya definitely knew where his room was, but Delic didn't know if he can handle staring at the raven from behind as he walked upstairs. It would just be too tempting.

They entered Delic's room, Hibiya looking around with a soft expression. Delic wondered what he was thinking about. "So what's up, Hibi-kun?" he asked with a hopefully casual expression and voice as he sat on his bed. He looked up at the raven to see Hibiya lick his lips, and Delic wondered if he did that on purpose. He really wanted to kiss those lips right now.

"I heard you rejected my brother." Delic grew alarmed and surprised, but then he thought, why wouldn't Psyche tell his brother about his problems? He tried to appear casual again as he spoke.

"Yeah, well, he's a good kid. He deserves better than me." Delic couldn't face Hibiya. He felt guilty for treating Hibiya's brother that way.

But the raven only smiled playfully as he suddenly walked up to Delic, a slight sensual tone to the way he moved. Delic could hear alarm bells ringing in his head, warning him this situation was becoming more intimate than he should allow it to be. But he only cautiously and curiously looked up at Hibiya, desperately wanting to know what was going on in the raven's head. "But I'm pretty sure you have some—" Hibiya paused with thought before he continued, "pent up desires about my brother."

_Wait, is he trying to imply I love his brother?_ Delic thought as he asked, "What're you trying to say?" But he had a feeling he knew where this was going, and suddenly he felt somewhat upset. Why didn't Hibiya understand? Why didn't Hibiya see he was the one Delic loved? Why was he acting like this?

Hibiya began to toy with the buttons of his shirt and then began to unbutton them, and Delic knew what was coming next. He was expecting sex. And somehow, this greatly upset him. Was Hibiya at that curious age? Was it because Psyche told him about his feelings and caused Hibiya to be curious about being with a man? Was Hibiya just using him to satisfy that curiosity? "I'm saying that I may be able to…help you, per say."

Hibiya had completely unbuttoned his shirt and was now moving to take it off. But Delic stopped him by grabbing his hands. The blonde's mind screamed at him to stop this. This wasn't what he wanted. But the desire also was so strong, and he had wanted this, to be with Hibiya, to connect with Hibiya. He had wanted this for three years. "You know what this means, right?" he asked. _You know this will change us, right?_

Hibiya nodded and Delic felt his expression hardened as he reached up and grabbed Hibiya's chin. _If this is what you want…_"Better not regret this then." Delic more said that to himself than Hibiya. He was about to cross into the territory he had forbidden himself to for three years. Hibiya looked like he was pondering over something before Delic threw him onto the bed, crawling on top of him as his hands hurriedly pulled off Hibiya's shirt. The desire was now ten times stronger as Delic finally laid his eyes on Hibiya's pale, naked chest.

His angel was so beautiful set against the dark bed sheets, his cheeks slightly rosy with embarrassment. A small voice inside of Delic told him he should stop. That he had been trying to avoid this for three years. But the voice was very small and easy to ignore as Delic leaned down, placing his mouth over a sweet-looking, pink nipple as his right hand tweaked the other until it hardened. He could feel Hibiya shivering underneath him as the raven experienced new sensations.

"Mmnnm," Hibiya bit his lip, the moan stifled although the sound of it made blood rush straight to Delic's groin, where the fabric of his pants was starting to get uncomfortably restricting. But somehow, through his lust-clouded brain, he somehow stopped himself for a moment as he looked at Hibiya with a contemplating expression.

"Maybe we shouldn't do this," he whispered softly. He again was saying it more to himself. If there was any time to stop, this would have been the time.

Hibiya looked unsatisfied and impatient though, "It's okay to imagine that I'm my brother. We look the same after all."

Delic felt a slight twinge in his chest as an unpleasant feeling simmered in his stomach. _Why are you so dense?_ He thought sadly.

"Besides," Hibiya continued and Delic hissed as the raven moved his leg up slightly, pressing it against the hard, and noticeable, erection in Delic's pants. Hibiya had a triumphant smile on his face, "I don't think you really want to stop this."

"Shit," Delic mumbled, his voice rough, before his mouth was on Hibiya's body again. He bit, licked, and sucked the luscious milky skin over Hibiya's collarbone, leaving dark possessive marks. He was sorely tempted to move upwards and claim Hibiya's lips, but he maintained enough self control to tell himself that his angel's lips were off limits. He couldn't taint Hibiya's lips.

But that didn't stop him from leaving marks all over Hibiya's body. Delic trailed his lips down from Hibiya's collar down his torso, licking and sucking every so often. He could feel Hibiya shaking underneath him as Hibiya quietly mewled, the raven's long fingers twining themselves through Delic's hair. Delic's hands also touched everywhere, softly caressing or teasingly nipping. Eventually he had discarded the rest of Hibiya's clothes and the raven laid completely naked on his bed, shyly curling himself up to hide as much bareness as possible.

But Delic didn't want him to hide. He wanted to see more, touch more. Desire burned inside of him as he gently pushed apart those smooth milky thighs, kissing the insides of them before he bit them softly. He heard Hibiya gasp slightly, letting out an aroused sound afterwards that drove Delic crazy. He had to stop for a moment as he wanted to just fuck Hibiya senseless right then and there.

"Delic?" Hibiya breathily questioned as he looked up at the blonde with a confused, dazed expression. "Wha—oh fuck!" Hibiya clutched the sheets in his hands, gasping as he felt something hot and wet close around his cock. He moaned, his body slackening some as his hips unconsciously bucked towards the warmth of Delic's mouth.

Delic only hummed in response, the vibrations making Hibiya's cock twitch in his mouth. He could taste the raven's somewhat salty flavor as he twisted his tongue around the hardened member, sucking and slurping. "De-Delic, wai—aaahh," Hibiya grabbed onto Delic's hair, his body shaking uncontrollably now as Delic bobbed his head up and down, teasing the slit at the top sometimes which always made Hibiya jerk with surprise. Delic fastened his pace, moving his hands back up Hibiya's body to playfully tease the raven's nipples. Hibiya was now writhing underneath him, mewing and panting as his fingers scratched against Delic's back.

"Delic," Hibiya gasped as he felt his body tighten. He tugged slightly at Delic's hair, saying in a ragged voice, "I-I-ngghh, n-no, sto—aahh!" Hibiya felt his body arch and tremble as he came, squirting into Delic's mouth. The blonde only swallowed, pulling away with a resounding popping noise once the raven was spent.

His pink eyes took in Hibiya's flushed and lustful expression, and he couldn't help himself anymore. "Wait, Delic, what're yo—ahhh!" Hibiya cried out in surprise as he felt Delic's hands pull apart his ass cheeks slightly so that his tongue could prod against his entrance. The raven bit down on his lip, feeling something wet and slick push its way inside him. Delic's tongue delved as deep as it could, twisting around and slickening the walls of Hibiya's tight, virgin hole.

His thumbs then began to intrude, Delic pushing them inside on each side of his tongue, stretching the tight ring of muscle further to make room for him. He heard Hibiya's breath hitch before the raven hissed, his voice pained and rough. Delic pulled away for a moment to ask, "Does it hurt?"

But of course, Hibiya didn't admit that. He only shook his head, his face bright red as he urged Delic to continue. Delic tried to be careful and slow, taking out his thumbs and sliding in an index finger instead. He felt Hibiya twitch slightly, squirming around to get used to the intrusion. Only once he stopped moving and Delic was sure he was adjusted did Delic slide in a second finger, pumping them in and out steadily as he stretched them slightly. Hibiya was breathing heavily now, though his body began to respond to the touch, his hips slightly pushing against the fingers. Delic slid them in further, searching for that bundle of pleasurable nerves. He knew he found it when Hibiya suddenly jerked harshly, crying out in surprise. "Ohhh," Hibiya groaned as he pushed against Delic's fingers again, searching for what gave him that feeling.

Delic pushed against his prostrate again, watching as Hibiya turned into a writhing, mewling mess again. His body trembled, his hands held the sheets tightly, and he looked to be on the verge of losing it again. "Delic," he whined. "Stop teasing me."

As if that had been the permission he had been waiting for, which it probably was, Delic finally pulled out his fingers and unbuckled his pants and threw them and his boxers aside. He pushed against Hibiya's entrance, hearing the raven take in a breath of anticipation as his body tightened. "Relax," Delic told him, soothingly rubbing Hibiya's hips as he held back from thrusting in completely.

Hibiya did as he was told, relaxing as much as he could as he felt Delic again push his way inside. At first, it was just an odd feeling, but as Delic finally pushed completely past the tight ring of the muscle and filled Hibiya completely, the pain was evident. Delic grunted, feeling Hibiya's hot, tight warmth around him almost doing him in. He could see Hibiya's face scrunched up in pain as tears pricked at the corner of his eyes. He wished he could kiss his angel to comfort him, but he didn't get the chance to do so as Hibiya took in a deep breath, ordering in a low voice, "Move." And so Delic did.

He pulled almost all the way before his hips snapped back, his cock thrusting its way back in. He felt Hibiya shake against him as his hips pushed downward, taking in more of Delic. They set a steady pace, their breathing heavy and voices panting and groaning together. "Aaahh," Hibiya threw back his head slightly, his eyes widening with shocking pleasure as his body shook slightly, almost coming. Delic knew he had found that sweet spot again and he angled himself to continuously hit it. The bed rocked with their lovemaking, their sounds filled the room, and for a moment Delic forgot about everything outside of his room. All he could focus on was Hibiya. Suddenly, the pressure against Delic's cock became stronger as Hibiya clamped down on him, signaling he was reaching his limit. Delic upped his pace, going faster as he trapped the raven in between his arms, grunting as he thrust into that tight hole before he finally lost it.

"Aaaahhh!" Hibiya arched, grabbing onto the bed sheets as he came, spilling his seed all over his stomach. He could feel Delic filling him as the blonde released with a guttural sound. They both then collapsed, panting for breath.

Delic finally steadied his breathing and moved to sit up. "Hibiya?" he called out, but he found the raven had fainted.

And then reality came crashing down. _Shit,_ Delic thought as he moved away from Hibiya, afraid to touch him right now. He had done exactly what he told himself not to do. He had corrupted his angel, taking his virginity. He had crossed the line that he had told himself he wouldn't. _Wasn't I supposed to protect him from this?_ Delic thought as he pushed back his hair from his face, his other hand tightening into a fist. "What the hell have I done?"

* * *

><p>"Tch," Delic breathed out, watching the smoke disappear into the air.<p>

_Why do we keep doing this?_ Delic thought as he took another drag and then took the cigarette between his fingers, pulling it away from his mouth as he breathed out. He looked around his room, his clothes still scattered on the floor, dirty moist towels thrown in the trashcan with a couple of used condoms. It definitely looked like they had sex here.

_It's been, what, six years now? _Delic thought as he put out the cigarette, slowly getting up from his bed to pick up the clothes off the floor. He looked at the door Hibiya had just left through, and Delic felt his heart twist with pain. _Six years of this loveless sex relationship. _

Delic was honestly quite surprised he made it this far. Throughout the years, he had lost count of how many times he had slept with Hibiya. But each and every time, he always felt the guilt afterwards. He had said to himself so many times that he would stop. He would end this because it just wasn't right. He wanted more than this with Hibiya. But every time Hibiya came to him, he just couldn't say no.

_I'm hopeless,_ Delic sighed as he looked out the window, watching rain begin to fall from the sky. _Hopelessly a fool in love._

* * *

><p>"Hibi-nii!" Delic was startled when he suddenly heard Psyche cry out. He rushed up to the classroom door, quickly looking in to see Psyche next to his brother. "Are you alright? Hibi-nii, you're burning up!"<p>

"I'm fine," Hibiya waved away his brother, but Delic could see he wasn't. The blonde marched up to Hibiya and quickly pulled him up in his arms, surprised when he finally felt just how hot the raven was. Immediately, he felt his stomach twist with uneasiness as he wondered whether it was his fault that Hibiya was sick now. Maybe they shouldn't have done that yesterday. "D-De-Delic?" Hibiya squeaked as he looked up at the blonde, his face red. "Delic, put me down!"

"Stop fussing," Delic chastised. He was afraid that if Hibiya kept moving around he'd drop him. "You're making your brother worry." _You're making __**me**__ worry. Why didn't you just stay over last night?_

Delic wondered just how long Hibiya had walked in the rain last night as the raven stopped fighting against him. The guilt practically killed him as he thought about how he should have forced Hibiya to just stay. At least until the rain went away. "Hey Psyche, can you get Hibiya's stuff for me? I'll take him to the infirmary to get some medicine then I'll take him home," Delic looked towards Psyche as he gestured towards Hibiya's backpack and books. Psyche nodded at him and gathered them up and then handed them to Delic.

"Get better, okay, Hibi-nii?" Psyche smiled at his brother. Hibiya just made a noncommittal noise before Delic walked out of the classroom.

_I hope Shinra's in the infirmary today, _Delic thought as he walked through the hallway, ignoring the people who stared at them. _I should stop by the store later to get some more medicine. _He briefly looked down at Hibiya, who was leaning against his chest and looking distracted. How much Delic wished he could just keep Hibiya in his arms forever. But of course that didn't happen as they reached the infirmary.

"Oi, Shinra, you here?" Delic shouted as he looked around for his childhood friend, Shinra popping out from the curtains of a bed, curiously looking at the two of them.

"A cold, huh?" Shinra stated matter-of-factly as he looked at Hibiya. He smiled jokingly as he said, "Late night walks in the rain?"

Hibiya just grumbled, "Just give me some damn medicine, Shinra."

Delic placed Hibiya on the bed, silently wishing he could just keep holding onto the raven, but most likely Hibiya would protest that. Hibiya didn't even look at him and that hurt.

"Would it kill you to be nicer?" Delic complained as he crossed his arms across his chest. Right after those words left his mouth he wanted to bite down on his tongue as he inwardly chastised himself. He hadn't meant to sound that harsh.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid,_ he growled at himself. _Wasn't I supposed to be gentler with him? Why do I keep acting this way? Why do I keep doing things I said I wouldn't?_

Shinra came back with some medicine and water in his hands that he offered to Hibiya. "Don't you have class right now, Delic?" Shinra asked as he turned to the blonde, though his eyes asked, _Do you want me to leave you two alone?_

Shinra was the only one of his friends who knew about his feelings. Shinra always told Delic that he wasn't giving himself enough credit and was making things difficult for himself, but the one thing that Delic appreciated about Shinra was that the man never pried any more than necessary into other's problems. Shinra liked to share his opinion, but he would never try to solve Delic's problems himself.

"Yeah," Delic responded to his spoken question as he slightly shook his head to answer his nonverbal question. "But I was going to skip it and take Hibiya home since he's sick." Delic tried to sound casual, not wanting to give his anxiousness away. He was really worried about Hibiya, but he didn't want the raven to know that. It was a little embarrassing to appear weak, especially in front of Hibiya. How was he supposed to protect Hibiya if he broke down every time he was worried about him?

"Just go to class, Delic," Hibiya suddenly said, his voice a bit rough. "I can get home by myself."

Delic couldn't help the scowl that marred his face. Of course Hibiya wanted to be strong to show that he could take care of himself. "Don't be stubborn, Hibi-kun. You look like you're going to collapse at any moment. I'll take you home."

Just as Hibiya opened his mouth to protest, the door to the infirmary slid open and Delic turned to see Kadota walk inside. Bitter jealously filled him as he heard Hibiya call out, "Dotachin!" with a relieved look on his face.

Delic knew Kadota through Shinra, but he had never really gotten along with the guy. And when Hibiya had joined the student council in high school and gotten closer to Kadota, that's when Delic began to hate the man. And that was mostly because…well, Kadota was everything he wasn't. He was straight-A kid, polite, loved by all, smart, athletic, and creative. He was like the perfect match to Hibiya, and Delic was insanely jealous over that. Because he knew Kadota could take better care of Hibiya than he ever could.

"Hey there, Hibiya," Kadota greeted as he nodded to Shinra and Delic.

Delic could feel the jealously flare in his chest again just as Hibiya asked, "Dotachin, do you have class right now?"

"No, I just finished," Kadota replied. "Why? Need something?"

"Can you take me home?" Hibiya asked. Delic felt himself grow even more jealous and angry as his eyes narrowed and his mouth tightened into a firm line.

_So it's okay for Kadota to take you home, but I can't? _Delic could feel the anger boiling inside as his hands tightened into fists. It was already bad enough that he, himself, preferred Kadota for Hibiya, but it hurt to hear Hibiya pick Kadota over him.

"Sure," Kadota smiled so gently at Hibiya, and Delic thought bitterly that it would be nice if he could treat Hibiya that way as well. But he wasn't as gentle as Kadota. Delic didn't hear the rest of what Kadota said before Hibiya said, "Okay". The blonde turned to Hibiya once Kadota left.

"I don't like the idea of Kadota taking you home." He didn't mean to say that. Not really. But it had just burst out of his mouth, and now that it was out there nothing could be done to take it back. But he hated that he had so easily shown his jealousy.

Hibiya frowned and crossed his arms across his chest, "What are you, my mother? Kadota isn't doing anything right now, so I don't see why there's a problem with letting him take me home. You have class."

_But I want to take you home,_ Delic thought wistfully, though he just simply said, "I can miss class."

"And now you don't have to," Hibiya simply stated back, looking relieved.

Delic felt the anger flare back up as his hands curled tightly, _You don't have to give me that relieved look. I know that you don't like being around me already. _

Delic noticed how Hibiya never lingered after sex and never approached Delic without a reason to. Since ever that day six years ago, their friendship had slowly dwindled away. It both killed and relieved Delic. Relieved because maybe it was for the best if he wasn't so close to Hibiya. It would be easier to give him up when the time finally came. But it also killed him because he missed how they used to be, and he couldn't imagine living without the raven in his life.

"Fine," Delic growled, still feeling a bit bitter over Kadota. He walked out of the infirmary, leaving a bit more angrily than he had intended. But he couldn't help it. He was just so angry and so full of jealously as he thought about how Kadota would take care of Hibiya in his place. Delic felt his heart twist painfully in his chest, and he wondered if it was possible to die of a broken heart.

* * *

><p><em>Delic stood against the wall, his hands curling into fists and then uncurling. He tried to slowly take in a deep breath and then let it out. But he could still feel the angry jealousy simmering inside of him. And the pain in his heart hurt so much. <em>

_Why do you smile at him like that? He thought as he peeked through the doorway briefly, seeing his angel standing there, chatting happily with a man that wasn't him. His angel had that sweet, lovely smile on his face, but the smile wasn't directed at him. Delic hadn't seen that smile in a long while because Hibiya had stopped smiling at him._

_Delic's eyes then turned to Hibiya's companion. The tall, ever serious Kadota was smiling back at Hibiya, affectionately ruffling his hair. Delic clenched his hands into fists again. He really felt like punching something right now, but he didn't want the two of them to know he was watching. _

_Dammit, he thought as he quickly walked away, unable to look at the sight anymore. But he grew angrier with each step. Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit! _

_Once he was sure was a safe distance away he smashed his fist against a wall. His hand stung from the impact, but he didn't really care. All he could think about was how much the two of them looked good together. How much Kadota better suited Hibiya than he did. How much he wished he were more like Kadota, so that maybe, for once, he could love his angel and not feel the intense guilt that haunted him._

_As the image of Hibiya smiling at Kadota popped into his head, Delic frustratingly pushed his hair back as he growled, "Dammit."_

* * *

><p>"Ugh," Delic scrunched up his face in displeasure as he felt the warmth of the sun splay across his face. He put his hand over his eyes to block it out, slowly opening them until he became fully awake. Pieces of his dream lingered in his mind and he frowned, wishing that he could just forget the memory completely. He hated remembering unpleasant things.<p>

Delic rolled over in his bed and looked at the clock, seeing is was still pretty early in the morning. His mind wandered over to Hibiya and how he must be doing. _I should go check on him_, Delic thought as he got up, heading towards the shower. He'd stop by the store and get some medicine, and when he got there he'd make some tea. Hibiya always liked having a cup of tea. As Delic showered he also wondered if he should bring some ingredients over for food. Hibiya always did like his cinnamon French toast. He'd make that.

Decided, Delic finished up his shower and got dressed before he gathered up the ingredients for French toast and headed out of his apartment towards the convenience store to look for some cold medicine.

* * *

><p>Delic tried to be as quiet as possible as he entered Hibiya's apartment. The raven always kept an extra copy of his key hidden over his door for whenever Delic came over to, well, satisfy their desires. But he wasn't here for that today. Delic placed the bag of medicine and ingredients on the kitchen counter before he began to search around for Hibiya's tea kettle. As the water boiled, Delic began to make the French toast.<p>

He turned off the tea kettle before it could make a loud whistling sound and poured a cup of earl gray tea that was Hibiya's favorite. He then walked quietly to the raven's room, slowly opening the door and peeking his head in. Hibiya peacefully lay on his bed, curled up slightly as he breathed steadily. He looked so innocent and for a moment Delic thought back to before they were like this, when they had just been friends.

Delic walked up to the side of Hibiya's bed, placing the tea on his nightstand. He then turned to look at Hibiya, and frowned when he saw the pained expression on Hibiya's face. Was the fever bothering him?

"It hurts," he heard the raven murmur under his breath, and Delic panicked for a moment, wondering what was ailing Hibiya. He moved to wake up Hibiya and ask him what was wrong, but stopped when the raven spoke again. "Delic, it hurts…"

It felt like someone had burned his hand as Delic backed away. His heart ached in his chest and his eyes tightened as his mouth set into firm line. Was it his fault? Was he hurting his angel? The thoughts repeated throughout his head as he quickly, yet still quietly in fear of waking Hibiya up, left the room. Once the door was closed behind him, he leaned against it for support.

"_It hurts,_" Hibiya's voice spoke in his head. "_Delic, it hurts._"

_I'm sorry,_ Delic thought as his hands clenched into tight fists again. He did this to prevent them from shaking and prevent him from feeling unsteady. _I'm sorry I keep hurting you._

But the sound of the doorknob turning broke through Delic's thoughts as the front door opened. He looked up and was surprised when he was met with the equally surprised face of his angel. Yet, it wasn't his angel, just someone who looked like him. "Psyche," he said, quickly standing up straight and trying to look like nothing had happened.

"Deli-nii," Psyche blinked slightly to take everything in before he smiled softly, "You were also worried about Hibi-nii?"

"Yeah," Delic replied, shuffling towards the kitchen to finish making the French toast. "I just came to check up on him and make some food."

"Oh, I see," Psyche followed Delic into the kitchen, appreciatively sniffing the smell of cinnamon. "That smells good. Do you need any help?"

"No, I'm good," Delic told him, trying not to face Psyche. It was a little tough to look at the face of his angel after what had just happened, even if it wasn't Hibiya himself. But the likeness of the two of them was too eerie at the moment for him.

"By the way, Deli-nii, you know that music festival you told me about a while ago? The one you signed up for in Kyoto?" Psyche brought up, walking to the breakfast nook to sit down. "Is it okay if Hibi-nii and I come too? I'd like to check out the festival and I'm sure Hibi-nii would love to return to Kyoto. He really misses it there."

"Oh yeah, of course," Delic responded, staring down at his French toast with a slight frown. He had thought about bringing Hibiya with him to the music festival, knowing how much the raven missed his hometown. But Delic had been hesitant about asking him along because he wasn't sure whether Hibiya would agree if it was just the two of them. Maybe if Psyche came along as well, Hibiya wouldn't mind.

_But I wish it could just be the two of us,_ Delic thought wistfully. He had wanted to go with Hibiya someday to Kyoto, and ask the raven to show him everything his angel loved about his hometown. And he had always wanted to bring Hibiya to the horse ranch the raven had used to take riding lessons from, and he wanted Hibiya to show him Genevieve. But he would have to put those plans aside for another day.

"Yeah!" Psyche cheered. "We'll ask Hibi-nii about it today then!" Psyche then got up and wandered off somewhere, leaving Delic alone with his thoughts. Delic was so caught up in them that he hadn't heard someone approach the kitchen.

"Dotachin? Is that you?" The voice of his angel sent his heart beating faster in his chest, but the feeling of happiness quickly fell when he realized what name Hibiya had called out. _Dotachin. Why are you always looking for him? Why don't you look at me anymore?_

Delic turned to Hibiya with a slight frown on his face, "I'm pretty sure I'm not Kadota. I have better hair after all." _Petty_, he chided himself. _That was petty. _But he couldn't help the envious feeling tightening in his chest as he flipped the last of the French toast onto a plate.

"Good morning, Hibi-nii! Are you feeling better?" Delic was surprised when Psyche showed up all of a sudden, smiling brightly at his twin brother.

The rest of their conversation was lost to Delic as he placed the food on the table in the breakfast nook. He only tuned back in to hear Hibiya say, "The two of you didn't have to come over."

_What? Were you expecting Kadota to come over instead?_ Delic bitterly thought in his head, his mouth moving before he realized what he was saying, "Yeah right, you can't even take care of yourself enough so you won't get a cold, much less take care of yourself when you have one."

_Dammit,_ he cursed at himself again. _Why do I keep doing that?_ Why was he always meaner than he intended? Why did he always let his jealousy take control? Delic felt the guilt stab in his heart as his angel glared at him, as if to say, _Why can't you be nice to me like you are to Psyche?_

Delic turned to look at his angel's twin then, feeling the guilt become heavier inside. _I wonder why I can't too._

Psyche began to chatter at him about the music festival but Delic tuned out most of it, only replying when needed. The guilt was still heavy in his heart and it was distracting. "Hibi-nii? Hibi-nii, are you listening to me?"

Hibiya seemed to finally realize that Psyche was talking to him as he looked up at his brother, "What did you say?"

"I said," Psyche repeated with a slight annoyed huff before he smiled widely, "do you want to come with Deli-nii and me to the music festival? It's in Kyoto, and it's during our upcoming holiday so we were thinking of staying there for a week. I was thinking we could show Deli-nii the sights."

Delic turned to look at Hibiya and could see how much the raven wanted to go by the longing look that entered in his golden eyes. But then Hibiya appeared thoughtful before he said with a slight nod of his head, "Sounds like a good idea, but can I bring Dotachin with me?"

"Sure!" Psyche cheerfully agreed.

But all Delic did was scowl and inquire, "Why Dotachin?" The two ravens looked at him curiously and Delic couldn't help but feel a bit conscious of what he said. But dammit! It was always Dotachin, Dotachin, Dotachin! Why was Hibiya always turning to the brunette? Why did Hibiya trust Kadota so much more than he trusted Delic? Delic only wanted to protect him. He only wanted to please Hibiya.

But Delic could see his question had only pissed off the raven as Hibiya's eyes narrowed in defiance, "I just think it'll be more fun with more people."

_Stop, don't act so petty and jealous_, Delic warned himself. But for some reason he just couldn't shut up and words just left his mouth before he could stop himself, "Kadota's probably not going to enjoy himself anyway."

"How would you know? You're not Dotachin," Hibiya retorted with a glare.

"What if he doesn't even want to go?"

"I'll call him right now then," Hibiya simply said as he grabbed his cordless house phone and began to call Kadota. Delic hoped that the brunette wouldn't pick up but to no avail.

"Dotachin!" Hibiya greeted cheerfully. Delic couldn't help the glare he was giving the phone. He really wished Kadota would just go away sometimes. Or just stop being his damn near perfect self. "Hey, you want to go to Kyoto for a week? There's a music festival happening there during our next holiday, and my brother and Delic are wondering if you wanted to tag along with us."

Kadota must have said something that pleased Hibiya because a faint smile played on the raven's lips. They two of them continued to talk on the phone and Delic tuned them out, unable to listen anymore. _If only I can make you smile like that, _Delic thought miserably. _If only I were more like Kadota, and then maybe you would treat me like you used to. And then maybe you would love me back._

* * *

><p>"<em>What's that?" Delic inquired as he looked over his angel's shoulder to look at the photo the raven held in his hands. He had noticed that Hibiya really treasured this photo, and he was curious as to what the photo was to make his angel value it so much. In the picture was a beautiful, golden blonde horse with deep, honey brown eyes.<em>

"_My horse," Hibiya told Delic with a proud smile, but then the smile fell a bit as he spoke softly, "We had to sell her when we moved." _

"_Oh," Delic murmured sadly, pained to see his angel so sad. "Where is she now?" _

"_At a horse ranch in Kyoto I used to take horse riding lessons from," Hibiya answered as he leaned back on the grass, looking at the photo with a yearning expression. "They were the only ones I trusted enough to take good care of her." _

"_What's her name?" Delic asked as he sat back with Hibiya. His question seemed to be unexpected as Hibiya looked at him with surprised expression. Delic guessed the younger man hadn't expected him to be interested in his horse. _

_Hibiya's face then softened as he answered, "Genevieve." _

"_Cute name," Delic gave him a smile. "Do you miss her?" _

"_Of course I do," Hibiya snorted with a roll of his eyes. "I've had her ever since she was a filly." _

"_Why don't you go visit her?" _

_Hibiya scowled at Delic, "It's not easy to just get up and fly to Kyoto to visit my horse. If it was, I would go every weekend to visit her." Hibiya sat up, bringing his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. "I wish I could have brought her here." _

_Delic looked at his friend curiously before he then turned back to look at the sky. So he misses his horse, Delic thought. I could do something about that._

_And he did because later on that day, he went to the local toy store and asked them about customizing a stuffed horse. They did as he asked, and Delic happily, and sneakily, placed it next to his angel's pillow that weekend. As Delic went to sleep that night, he wondered what Hibiya's expression would look like when he woke up and found the horse. He hoped the raven would be happy and smile._

* * *

><p>Delic smiled fondly at the memory as he looked at the photo of the mare that sat next to a letter on his desk as he packed his bag. The letter had been from the lady that owned the horse ranch Hibiya used to go to. In it the lady had spoken how happy she'd be to show Delic the horse if he was considering buying it. Delic had told her what day and time he was going to be available in Kyoto and he said he'd meet up with her at the ranch. The lady had agreed that sounded like a good idea. Delic briefly wondered what Hibiya would look like when the blonde surprised him with the horse. Would he be happy? Would Hibiya finally smile at him? He hoped so.<p>

_But first, I've got to win the competition,_ Delic thought as his pink eyes turned to his guitar. His eyes then went to the paper that had lyrics and notes scribbled on it. His musical score was right next to it. His scrawled handwriting stared back at him, "_Carnival of Rust_".

He finished packing up his clothes and picked up his guitar case. He gathered up the papers and put them on top of his guitar as he shut the case. _Please,_ he silently prayed to whatever god would listen. _Grant me this one wish and let me win this competition. At least let me make him happy for once._

* * *

><p>"Wait, why do I have to room with him?" Delic grumbled as he jerked his thumb at Kadota. He didn't like the idea of rooming with the brunette that was his enemy right now. He hadn't enjoyed the way Hibiya had easily fallen asleep on Kadota's shoulder on the way here, or the way Kadota had looked as he stared at Psyche. Or the look that Kadota had given him. It was cold, somewhat blaming, and it pissed Delic off.<p>

"Well, do you want to room with either me or Hibi-nii then?" Psyche suggested, but Delic didn't like those ideas either. He didn't really want to room with Psyche, knowing how the young, pink-eyed boy felt. But at the same time, he didn't think he could room with Hibiya and not feel guilty and awkward. The raven would hardly look at him now, how would they be able to share a room?

"Look," Hibiya sighed, "Since I invited him, I'll room with Kadota and you can room with Psyche, Delic." Delic opened his mouth to protest, the idea of Kadota and his angel sharing the same room even worse, but Hibiya had already grabbed the room keys and had dragged Kadota to the elevators. And Delic was left there, in the lobby with a blushing Psyche.

But Delic's heart twisted in pain again. _Why? Why do you keep picking Kadota over me?_

"Should we go up to the room, now, Deli-nii?" Psyche wondered, shuffling nervously as his face was red.

"Yeah, I've got to put down my bags," Delic muttered as he began to walk towards the elevators. "But I won't be able to hang out today. I've got to head to the stadium for rehearsal before tonight."

"Oh," Psyche sounded dejected. "Okay then."

Delic felt a bit guilty to disappoint the raven—he was a good kid after all—but right now images of Kadota and Hibiya, alone in the same room, consumed his thoughts. His hands tightened their grip on his bags as he tried to clear his mind.

_Focus, Delic, _he told himself. _Focus. _

But the image wouldn't leave his mind.

* * *

><p>"Welcome everyone! I'm sure you're all nervous and excited about tonight," the announcer greeted onstage. Delic wondered why he had bandages around his face as the announcer smiled quite cattishly at the performers sitting in the front row. "I'm the MC for the night, Rokujo Chikage. Nice to meet you all."<p>

Delic looked around at his competition. There was a variety of people from punk rockers, visual kei people that Delic wasn't sure were guys or girls, a couple of normal looking people, and some bubbly girls that looked like pop stars. Delic then turned his attention back to the stage as the announcer told them the rules and how the winner was determined. Delic could feel the butterflies fluttering in his stomach again. He had performed before in small gigs at coffee shops and high school concerts, but he had never played in front of an audience of this size.

_Focus Delic, this is all for Hibiya, remember?_ He reminded himself, the thought of his angel settling his nerves.

"Now, for the first round, we're going to have all of you come up here and play whatever piece you like. And if our judges like you, you'll perform tonight. Only fifteen of you will be able to perform tonight." Chikage smiled apologetically, as if that made up for anything.

There were murmurs among the crowd and Delic looked around the others. There were probably about thirty some of them here. Fifteen was a pretty small number. Delic could feel himself getting nervous again.

"Alrighty then, we'll call you up by number."

Delic watched as performer after performer went up. The judges didn't say who was eliminated yet, they'd save that for the end.

"Number 21, Psychedelic Dreams." Delic cringed a bit at the name. He hadn't picked it. He wasn't sure what to call himself when he signed up, so Psyche had taken his laptop and typed away and sent it off before Delic could change it.

Delic walked up to the stage, shaking hands with the MC. "Good luck man," Chikage smiled at him.

"Thanks," Delic murmured in response. He walked to the center stage, holding his guitar in front of him. He looked down at the people and then breathed in and out. He tuned out everything around him, trying to imagine that it was only Hibiya sitting down there, looking at him. This was what he did at every show. He was always nervous before he performed, but if he imagined that Hibiya was out there, listening to him, he was always calmed. And then that was it. He was alone up on the stage, and down below him he saw Hibiya sitting, smiling like he used to up at Delic.

Delic started to play out a tune, the notes getting rougher as the melody progressed, and then he sang. His voice was rough, yet sweet, and the emotion in it so crystal clear. Delic kept his eyes on where he imagined Hibiya, singing his heart out. He hoped his words could somehow reach Hibiya. Because he was so focused, Delic didn't see how his voice had captured the attention of the entire crowd. Everyone stared at him with awed expressions, their hands unconsciously curling up or reaching for their chests as his words and the emotion he put into them touched them. After all, who hadn't experienced love? And falling so deep into it that sometimes they lost themselves? His words could apply to just about everyone.

As Delic finally ended the song and Hibiya faded from his vision, he saw the crowd clapping at his performance, and not just out of courtesy but because they really enjoyed it. Chikage came up to the stage, throwing his arm around Delic's neck and whispering in his ear, "Dang man, that was good. Where'd you learn to sing like that? I wouldn't be surprised at all if you won tonight."

Delic could only numbly nod and thank him as he walked back down the stage. Nobody was surprised when Delic was called up as one of the fifteen to perform. Some people who were eliminated even stopped by and wished him luck. One girl even smiled warmly at him as she said, "I hope that your love works out in the end."

"I'm sorry?" Delic questioned, a bit confused by what she meant.

"I know a heartbroken voice when I hear one," she said knowingly. "Because I used to sound like that myself."

She walked away before Delic could respond, and her words made him wonder. Did he really sound like that? He thought about what she said and how she hoped that his love would work out. And he, too, hoped it would.

* * *

><p>Delic stepped out of the taxi with a nod of thanks to the driver as he paid him. He looked up at the ranch sitting on a green pasture as the taxi drove off. He could hear the whinnying of horses as he stepped around the ranch, finding the corral behind it. Various horses of breeds and colors were scattered about the corral, bobbing their heads or socializing with other horses.<p>

One horse in particular though stood out to Delic as the mare lifted her blonde head and looked at Delic curiously as he approached the fence of the corral slowly. "Hey there, girl," Delic murmured softly as he reached his hand out in offering for the horse to sniff. The mare titled her head slightly, looking at him with wise, brown eyes. She then placed her nose on his hand, breathing in and then snorting out. The feeling of her breath on his hand tickled as Delic chuckled. The mare then licked his hand, signifying her acceptance. Delic gently pet her head as he spoke softly to her, "Aren't you a beauty. I can see why Hibi-kun likes you."

"Well, isn't that a sight," a voice drawled with a slight accent that Delic didn't identify as any Japanese one. Delic turned to the side to see a tall, beautiful blonde woman stare at him curiously with bright blue eyes. "Genevieve usually doesn't take to strangers easily."

"Well, I have yet to meet a lady that didn't like me," Delic joked with a polite smile as Genevieve made a whinny that sounded like, _who're you kidding?_

The blonde lady only smiled, "You must be Delic. I'm Vorona, it's nice to finally meet you."

"You too," Delic shook her offered hand.

"So you want to purchase Genevieve," Vorona more stated than asked. Delic nodded. "May I ask why?"

"Well," Delic started slowly, not sure what he should tell her. "I just happen to be really good friends with Genevieve's previous owner, and I wanted to surprise him."

"Oh, you know Hibiya-chan?" Vorona asked with a slight surprised look on her face.

"Yeah," Delic responded, a bit surprised that Vorona knew him. Did they use to date or something? Delic wasn't sure if wanted to know.

Reading his look, Vorona smiled reassuringly at him, "Hibiya-chan and I used to take lessons here together. We were just friends."

Delic blushed slightly, "Am I that easy to read?"

Vorona burst out laughing, "A little. Your jealous grimace gave you away. Why don't you come on inside and tell me about yourself?"

Delic did, finding he didn't mind the company of Vorona. She was very easygoing and a good listener as Delic told her about him and Hibiya, of course leaving out the sex friends part. But he told her about his feelings and how things were between them now. Vorona just listened quietly with a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Whew," Vorona let out a low whistle. "Sounds like you have a lot on your plate."

Delic chuckled bitterly, "I guess so."

Vorona paused for a second in contemplation before she sat forward, holding her tea cup firmly in her hands, "Look, Delic, I may not completely know what happened between you and Hibiya-chan, but if Hibiya-chan is anything like he was as a kid, he's just too scared to say how he really feels. He always wants to appear stronger when actually, he really needs help. You just have to give him a little push to be honest with you."

_I know that,_ Delic thought. _But what about me, who always does things I say I won't? I always end up hurting Hibiya. I'm not good enough for him._

As if sensing his self doubt, Vorona stood up and beckoned for Delic to follow her. Delic did so and they two of them walked back out to the corral. Genevieve was still at the side of the corral, and her ears perked up when she saw the two of them. Vorona stood beside Genevieve, leaning against the fence as she pet the mare. "Let me tell you something, Delic. Horses are a lot like their owners, especially if that owner raised them since they were young. And Genevieve here, she's a lot like Hibiya-chan. She's stubborn, and when Hibiya-chan first left, she wouldn't let anyone ride her, not even me, and I had been close to her and Hibiya-chan since ever he got her. But you approached her just today, and she automatically liked you. I'm sure, even if he doesn't say it, Hibiya-chan automatically liked you too. And really, that's all that matters."

Somehow, even if he didn't fully believe her, Vorona's words made him feel better. He smiled gratefully at her, "Thanks Vorona. That means a lot."

Vorona just smiled at him before her look became warning, "Just don't stop loving him, because like Genevieve, I'm pretty sure Hibiya-chan has a nasty bite if you get on his bad side."

Delic couldn't help the small laugh that escaped him, "I'm sure he does. And don't worry, I won't ever stop loving him."

* * *

><p>"Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls of all ages. Are you guys ready to rock?" Delic could hear Chikage ask from outside the stage. Delic took in a deep breath and let it out, closing his eyes and thinking to himself, <em>Focus.<em>

But butterflies fluttered in his stomach as a bunch of cheers sounded throughout the stadium. "Aw, come on now, I know y'all can do better than that." Chikage spoke louder, "I SAID ARE YOU GUYS READY TO ROCK?"

The crowd screamed louder this time, and Delic wondered just how many people were out there. Not that it really mattered to him. Just as long as his angel was out there. Delic tuned out Chikage's voice as he tried to envision Hibiya in his mind. Hibiya was the only person he needed to be his audience. He wondered if Hibiya would understand his song.

"Alright then! Please give a warm welcome to the first performer of the night: Psychedelic Dreams." Delic opened his eyes. That was his cue. He stepped out onto the stage, Chikage passing by and clapping him on the shoulder with a quick, whispered, "Good luck" leaving his lips.

"Thanks," Delic whispered back with his confident smirk on his face as he walked out to the center stage. There were tons of people outside, but Delic searched for the only face that mattered. He found it in the front row, looking up at him with surprised eyes. Delic loosened the black tie around his neck as it suddenly felt too tight. Well, here went nothing…He began to strum a soft tune on his guitar before he sang. The stadium become completely quiet as his voice filled the air. Delic drowned out everything else, only focusing on Hibiya's face as he sang.

_Can you hear me? _He wondered as he grabbed the mic and swayed slightly with the music. _Are you listening?_

His voice grew louder as the music increased in volume. He poured his heart into the lyrics, hoping that Hibiya was listening. That Hibiya understood that this was his confession, his love. That Delic was nothing without him. That his life was just wasting away without him.

Soon the song was over and the music faded out with his voice. Delic panted as he looked dazedly at the crowd. There was nothing but complete silence in the stadium before the crowd burst out into a roar, people cheering, whistling, and chanting, "Psychedelic Dreams". Delic smiled, feeling the nervousness leave his body. He loved music and the exhilaration it gave him, especially when he sang for his angel. Delic then searched for Hibiya again, and he saw the raven with his eyes closed and his hand placed over his chest.

_Did you get it? _Delic wondered as he thought again how he wished he knew what Hibiya was thinking sometimes. _Did you get how much I love you?_

* * *

><p>Delic looked down at the papers in his hand with a bright smile. They were the official documents stating that Delic now owned Genevieve. He couldn't wait to get back to the hotel to tell Hibiya. His cell phone then rang, breaking him from his happy thoughts. He flipped it open to see a text from Hibiya.<p>

_Meet me in my room at ten tonight. _

_Perfect!_ Delic thought. He could meet up with Hibiya and tell him the good news. And he would tell Hibiya the truth. Delic would tell Hibiya that he loved him. He still felt a bit hesitant inside, but he didn't want to continue this just sex relationship anymore. He would tell Hibiya the truth and if the raven didn't feel the same way…well then Delic would accept that. He only wanted to please Hibiya after all.

Delic quickly headed back to the hotel and soon found himself outside of Hibiya's room. He took in a deep breath to calm his nerves before he knocked on the door. Hibiya opened the door and Delic could feel his heart thumping in his chest, "Hey there Hibi-kun. Good timing with your message, there was something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Let me speak first," Hibiya quickly interjected. Delic was a bit surprised by his statement but nodded in agreement as he stepped inside. He wondered what Hibiya wanted to say. He watched as Hibiya took in a deep breath and looked at the ground. That made Delic a bit nervous. Why wouldn't Hibiya look at him? "Delic, I want to end this. Our relationship. I don't—I don't think this is working out for me."

Delic's heart froze. He felt cold all over his body as his mouth suddenly felt dry. Wasn't he supposed to get rejected after he confessed? Hibiya was already trying to get rid of him without even hearing his feelings? Delic's hands clenched into fists and he could feel his heart twist in pain and sudden anger flared up in him. He had never heard himself sound so angry before as he spoke words he didn't mean to say. But the jealousy was stirring deep inside of him. He slammed Hibiya up against the wall. "Is this all because of Kadota? Did he—" Delic stopped himself, his mouth in a tight line as his eyes narrowed. _Don't go overboard._ "I don't agree to this."

Hibiya only grew angry at him, and this was the first time Delic had ever seen the raven truly angered with him, "It doesn't matter whether you agree or not! I started this, so I can end this whenever I want. Now let go of me, Delic. I'm going home!"

The pain twisted in his heart again. Was he being thrown away? He hadn't even said what he wanted to say yet! _Do something! _He told himself angrily. _Do anything! Tell him you're sorry! _But instead of apologizing he demanded, "Are you leaving with Kadota? Is he the one who put this stupid idea into your head?"

_Dammit, that's not it! _He thought to himself. _Stop being a jackass and apologize! _But he was too blind with jealousy. He couldn't think straight as he thought about his angel and Kadota together. Hibiya was leaving him, and he wasn't ready for this yet.

Hibiya glared at the blonde, "Don't try to blame Kadota for this! This was my own idea! Kadota's been nothing but supportive of me! He's done nothing wrong."

_Apologize! _His logic told him, but Delic snorted in disbelief as he rolled his eyes. He wished he had never said the next words that came out of his mouth. "Why the hell are you defending him? Have you been sleeping with him too, is that why you're ending this? Tired of one guy so you just move onto the nex—" Delic stopped because he was slapped harshly across the face.

He deserved it, he knew, but he couldn't help but be shocked as he looked at Hibiya with wide eyes. The raven had never hit him before, even when they had playfully argued with each other. Delic felt immense guilt stab at his heart again as he saw tears pool in the corners of Hibiya's eyes.

"You're such an ass," his angel hissed at him, his eyes cold and upset.

Hibiya then pushed him away and ran out of the room, but Delic didn't move to stop him. He could only stand there in surprise as his body slowly shook with…anger? Regret? Sadness? He didn't know.

"Dammit!" he screamed, punching his fist into the wall. He then placed his forehead against the wall, muttering to himself, "What the hell have I done?"

But there was no one to answer him as he stood alone in the hotel room, drowning in his guilt. He wasn't sure how long he had been standing there before a panicked voice broke through his thoughts. "Deli-nii!" Psyche's voice called from outside the door as fists pounded against it. "Deli-nii are you there?" Delic heard a sob and he moved to open the door, finding Psyche standing there with tears staining his face as his eyes were wide with fear. "Deli-nii! It's Hibi-nii! He…he…!" Psyche wasn't able to finish as he sobbed.

"Psyche! Psyche, what happened!" Delic demanded as he grabbed the raven, panic spiking in his chest. What had happened to his angel? But Psyche didn't answer, he could only sob, and Delic stood there assuming the worse.

And the guilt ate away at his conscience as he thought, _This is all my fault._

* * *

><p><strong>OMG…that was so long. I guess this is what I get when I compound three chapters into one. O_O I'm sorry I had to make you guys read all of that in one sitting. XD I hope it was enjoyable even though half of this chapter was repeat events of the previous chapters. <strong>

**Also, sorry this took a while to post. As you can probably guess, it took me a while to write this and proofread it. Over 18 pages in Word. Whew. Never again. **

**Next chapter will be the end of Delic and Hibiya's story. :( I know, I'm quite sad too, but after this you guys will get to see Tsugaru and Psyche's story! :D And I'm quite excited to write theirs as their plot will kind of be a mixture of cuteness and angst. And, more original Durarara characters will be included (kudos to those who can guess which ones)! And aw, hell, I'll spoil you guys, there will be a Shizuo appearance (finally) for sure as well!**

**As always, I greatly appreciate you guys reading and reviewing! **

**-Xaleria**


	9. Delic & Hibiya 5

**Man, after that long chapter I feel like all the rest of my chapters are so short. D: But I hope you guys enjoy this end and thanks so much everyone for the great reviews! I'm happy that everyone enjoyed the super long chapter.**

**Also, I want to thank those who added this to their favorite stories and alerted it! :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters.**

* * *

><p><strong>Delic &amp; Hibiya<strong>

Delic ran through the hospital doors, panting as he whirled his head around wildly. Psyche showed up right behind him, leaning over with his hands on his knees as he gasped for breath. When he stood back up, Psyche spotted a familiar brunette, "Dotachin!"

Kadota looked up from where he was speaking with a nurse and the only word that could describe the look on his face was fury as he marched up to where Delic was and suddenly swung his arm forward, punching the blonde squarely in the jaw. And since the blonde had not been expecting it, Delic staggered for a moment and fumbled over his feet, falling to the ground. Psyche and several others cried out in surprise just as Kadota grabbed onto Delic's shirt, bringing the blonde up to his face, "You've got a lot of damn nerve to show your face here."

"Hibiya," was all Delic could mutter in response as he tasted blood on his tongue and felt the sting in his cheek. He honestly didn't care right now about himself, as long as his angel wasn't…wasn't, god he didn't even want to think about what could have happened to his angel. "Is Hibiya okay?" _Please god, let him be okay._

Kadota glared at Delic, his grip on the blonde's shirt tightening as his words were short and clipped with his rage, "He's okay. It was just a panic attack due to stress that a _certain someone_ caused him. You could've gotten him killed! He collapsed on the fucking street, Delic! The fucking street! If I hadn't been there, he could've—!" Kadota shook his head in disgust, shoving the blonde away from him.

"I didn't—!" Delic started to protest angrily, but he stopped himself as his heart sunk and he realized that this was his fault. He was the one who made Hibiya ran away, and he was the one who kept hurting his angel. "I-I…"

Kadota shook his head again, "Save it. I don't want to hear your excuses." Kadota then shoved Delic towards to the exit. "Just get the hell out of here, Delic. You don't deserve to see Hibiya right now."

If only Kadota knew how much those words cut through Delic, how much the blonde believed those words. Delic set his mouth in a firm line, his jaw still aching from Kadota's punch. His eyes were downcast on the ground as his hands clenched into fists. He wanted so badly to see Hibiya, to know for sure that he was okay, but…Kadota was right. He was the one that got Hibiya into this mess in the first place.

"Dotachin, that's not being fair, you can't blame Deli-nii for this," Psyche tried to defend the blonde, but both the Delic and Kadota knew he was clueless to the truth.

"No, it's fine, Psyche," Delic reassured him, his voice rough and tinted with bitter sadness. "I'll leave."

"But Deli-nii!" But the blonde had already turned away and walked out of the hospital, his hands in his pockets, his shoulders hunched over, and his heart heavy with misery and guilt.

* * *

><p>"<em>Wow, this CD is great," seventeen year old Hibiya commented as he pulled off the headphones on his ears to look up at Delic with excited eyes. "What's this band called again?" <em>

"_Three Days Grace," Delic answered as he looked up from his music notebook where he was scribbling a new song. "They're one of my favorite bands. Their older stuff is better than their newer stuff, but they're still awesome."_

"_Yeah, they are. Hey, can you make me a copy of their CDs?" Hibiya asked. _

"_Better, I can give them to you," Delic smiled as he got up from the couch. "I've listened to them so many times I know every song by heart, so you can have them if you like them. Hold on, let me go find them."_

_Delic then ran up to his room leaving Hibiya alone in the living room where they had been listening to music while doing their homework._

"_Nii-san must really like you." Hibiya almost jumped from hearing the new voice as he turned to Delic's little brother, an almost clone-like copy of him except with scarlet eyes instead of pink, who appeared from the kitchen. He held a glass of milk in his hands as he adjusted the white scarf he was always wearing. "To let you have his CDs, I mean. Nii-san never lets anyone borrow his CDs, much less have them. He's never even let __**me**__ borrow them." _

_Hibiya looked at Tsukishima with a bit of confusion. So he was saying that Hibiya was…special to Delic? Special enough to let him have his CDs?_

"_Nah," Hibiya heard his voice jokingly laugh at Tsukishima. He shouldn't be getting his hopes up that Delic treated him specially. It would just hurt in the end. "They're old CDs and he knows them already. He's just giving me old junk isn't he?" _

_Tsukishima looked at Hibiya with an incredulous look, "Music isn't junk to Nii-san. He takes it very seriously. I've never seen him throw away, give away, or neglect any of his CDs or records."_

_Hibiya could feel his heart thumping in his chest as he whispered, "No, Delic doesn't treat me specially at all." _

_Tsukishima looked a bit disbelieving as he shook his head and started to head to his room. "Hibiya nii-san, I like you, but sometimes I wonder if you're really as smart as you seem."_

"_What?" Hibiya looked a bit shock to hear a middle schooler tell him off. "What's that supposed to mean? Hey, Tsukishima!"_

_But the little blonde had already walked up the stairs just as Delic came down with a confused look. "What? Is Tsuki bothering you, Hibi-kun?"_

"_No," Hibiya quickly answered, looking back towards the CDs as Tsukishima's words came back to his mind, 'Nii-san must really like you to let you have his CDs.'_

_Does he really? Hibiya thought as he closed his eyes, If only I could know the truth._

_Hibiya then opened his eyes, turning to where Delic was to talk to him, but raven backed up in shock when he saw empty space instead. He looked around, finding himself surrounded by complete darkness. _

"_Delic?" he called out questionably, feeling panic rise in his veins as he stood up. Although the space was endless and vast, he felt like he was trapped in a box as he backed up slowly, swearing his back had hit against a wall. "Delic!"_

_Suddenly it was like the air around him got sucked up, and he couldn't breathe. Hibiya reached for his throat, gasping. His eyes began to water from the pain, and even though he was sure there was no oxygen pumping it, his heart beat erratically in his chest like it was about to burst out at any moment. He tried to call out the blonde's name again but sound was lost as he found he couldn't speak. He collapsed to the ground, his body curling up in pain. He took in ragged breath as he shut his eyes tightly. _

_It hurts so much, he cried in his mind. Delic, where are you?_

_But the blonde was nowhere in sight, and Hibiya felt fear grip his heart. Where are you, Delic? The thought of the blonde being gone sent another sharp pain through his chest. Where are you? _

_But he was just surrounded by darkness, the blonde nowhere in sight._

* * *

><p>Hibiya coughed as he suddenly breathed in air, gasping as his hands unconsciously reached out for something. <em>Delic,<em> his mind thought. _Where's Delic?_

He could feel his heart burning in his chest, his mind screaming for the blonde. He wanted him here right now to comfort him. So that he could at last know the blonde wasn't gone. Even if it hurt him, even if Delic didn't really love him, right now he really needed the blonde to be beside him.

Because it hurt too much to think about living without Delic.

"Hibiya? Hibiya, thank god!" he heard a relieved voice shout, but it wasn't the voice he wanted to hear. Hibiya turned to his side to see someone holding his hand, the grasp on it tight. Kadota looked at him with relieved eyes.

"Dotachin?" Hibiya croaked, surprised by how hoarse his voice sounded.

"He should be alright for now, but we're going to take him to the hospital for a couple tests just to make sure," an EMT said to Kadota as he put away the oxygen mask he had just used to get Hibiya breathing properly again.

"Dotachin," Hibiya called out, reaching for the brunette. "Dotachin, wher—" He stopped, thinking, _where's Delic?_

But he knew that the brunette probably didn't want to hear him say that, especially after what had just happened. Hibiya knew he was supposed to be angry with Delic, but he also knew he could never stay mad at the blonde for long. It just wasn't a part of his nature.

"What happened?" Hibiya rephrased his question as he looked around. He found himself in the back of an ambulance that was moving through the streets.

"You had a pretty bad panic attack," the EMT answered instead. "Most likely due to stress since your blood pressure's a little high. It caused your heart to stop beating for a moment and you couldn't breathe."

Hibiya looked at the EMT to Kadota with wide eyes, and the raven could see what Kadota was thinking as the brunette met his eyes, _Is this because of the talk you had with Delic? _

Hibiya only looked away, afraid to face Kadota right now. Afraid to admit that Delic had once again hurt him. Because he knew it hurt, and he knew he should give up. But a part of him just couldn't, and he wondered how he ever thought he could.

* * *

><p>"Hibi-nii!" Psyche cried out as he ran and threw his arms around his twin brother, squeezing him in a hug. "Are you okay? Shouldn't you stay in the hospital?"<p>

"I'm fine, Psyche. The doctor said I'm perfectly healthy, I just need to watch my blood pressure," Hibiya reassured as he gently pushed his brother away. He wasn't sure how he should feel towards his brother right now. Psyche was also the reason for his pain after all. Hibiya then finally noticed that Psyche was alone, and he was surprised to see that. He thought Delic would be here to comfort his twin. "Is it just you?"

"Yeah," Psyche suddenly puffed up his cheeks in irritation as he glared at Kadota that was sitting next to the hospital bed Hibiya sat on. "_Dotachin_ here made Deli-nii go away!"

"Because he's the one who did this in the first place," Kadota calmly said as he crossed his arms. "It's his fault that this happened."

"You can't blame him, Dotachin! Deli-nii didn't mean for this to happen!" Psyche retorted as he threw his hands up in frustration.

"He's always been hurting, Hibiya. If you ask me he—"

"What do you mean hurting Hibi-nii? He's done nothing but care for Hibi-nii!"

"What do you know?"

The brunette and raven turned to Hibiya, shocked that he had spoken. Hibiya too was quite surprised by his sudden outburst, but he could feel the anger bubbling inside of him as his hands curled into fists and his face heated up. He spoke before he even realized what he was saying, "You don't know anything, Psyche! Delic has never cared for me! He's always only cared for you! He's never once looked at me like the way he looks at you! He—"

_He loves you_. But the words got caught in his throat, and Hibiya could feel his heart twisting in pain again as he clenched his chest and looked at the ground. He wondered if he'd faint this time as well.

"Is _that_ what you think?" Hibiya looked back up at his brother with shock. Psyche looked at him with narrowed, hurt eyes, his arms crossed across his chest as he leaned somewhat to the side, something he did when he was angry. Hibiya was confused. Why was Psyche acting this way? What did he mean? "You think Deli-nii cares more about me than you?"

"Doesn't he?" Hibiya bitterly mumbled as he also crossed his arms, turning away from his brother.

"Hibi-nii, I never thought this before, but you are really _**stupid**_."

"Wh-wha?" Hibiya sputtered as he suddenly turned to his brother, shocked and angered once again.

But Psyche looked at him with serious eyes, which were so unlike his usual cheerful disposition. "Deli-nii has never once looked at _**me. **_He's always looking at my _face_. _Your face_. He's never once ever seen me as someone to love. I was always just your little brother to him."

"B-But," Hibiya tried to protest, tried to force down the hope swelling in his chest.

Psyche shook his head, suddenly producing some papers from his pocket and shoving it into Hibiya's hands. "I found this on the nightstand next to Delic's bed. He wanted to surprise you with it."

Hibiya blinked with at his brother before he looked at the papers in his hands. And then he felt his eyes widen with shock as his hands began to shake. It was the official papers stating that Delic had bought Genevieve, and there were receipts for a stall and food in a horse ranch in Ikebukuro.

And it all amounted to $5,000. The exact amount Delic had won in the festival.

"You know," Psyche's voice suddenly broke through Hibiya's thoughts and the latter turned to look at the former. "When Deli-nii first signed up for this festival and showed me the song he was going to sing, I asked him who it was for."

Psyche then placed a music score on top of the papers in Hibiya's hands. Hibiya looked down at it, feeling his heart thump in his chest as he looked at the words scrawled at the top under the title.

_For My Golden-Eyed Angel_

* * *

><p>Something pounded through his head in the shadows. At first, he thought it was just a headache. But then he realized it was someone at the door. He growled, wondering who the hell it could be, before he wobbled out of bed. He knocked into a bottle, hearing it clink against a glass. He growled again, kicking it aside and hearing it thump against the wall.<p>

The pounding became louder. "I'm coming!" Delic snarled as he turned on a light and stomped to the door. "What the fuck do yo—"

Instantly, he sobered up once he saw who it was at the door. And then he wondered if he had passed out and was dreaming. His angel stood before him, panting a little as his breaths came out in puffs, sweat glistening against his pale skin. Golden eyes like the sun looked up at Delic with a mass of emotions flashing across them. Black hair that was usually tame and neatly kept was wildly strewn around his beautiful features. And then Delic finally opened his mouth and his angel's name tumbled out of it, "Hibiya."

And suddenly his angel's eyes flashed with anger as Hibiya pushed him. They fell to the ground with Hibiya sitting on top of him as the door swung closed and papers flew around in the air before landing on the ground around them. "Why the hell are you so confusing?" Hibiya demanded as he grabbed fistfuls of Delic's shirt.

Delic blinked, unsure of what Hibiya was talking about as the raven continued to rant, "Why do you give that gentle smile to my brother and treat him so nice, but you fight with me. Why do you act like you don't care but then you sing those kinds of songs? Why did you give me that stuffed horse? Why did you give me those CDs? Why did you buy Genevieve? Why do you sleep with me but you don't kiss me? Why—" Hibiya stopped, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath. "What do you really feel towards me?"

And suddenly Delic could see it in his golden eyes. The same look he had in his own eyes. That longing and the love. And Delic finally understood what Hibiya's questions meant, and a small smile crept onto his face.

Hibiya looked taken aback, not expecting the smile, and Delic thought of the perfect way to convey his feelings. Delic reached up, grabbing Hibiya's face and pulling it down to meet his. Their lips first met hesitantly and softly, brushing against each other before they melted together, their mouths simultaneously opening and their tongues meeting, savoring the taste of each other.

And Delic faintly wished he had done this years ago. Maybe if he had, all these things would have never happened. Maybe things would have worked out had he not been afraid. But that was the past, and Delic was glad he had done it now as he moved to sit up, one of his arms moving to wrap around the raven's waist to hold him close as his other hand went to grab Hibiya's chin, tilting it ever so slightly to make Hibiya open his mouth more and give the blonde better access.

Hibiya threw his arms around Delic's neck, pulling the blonde closer to him for more. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing that Delic had waited six years to kiss him, because after being deprived this felt absolutely amazing.

Hibiya almost wanted to pull Delic back when the blonde finally pulled away, both of them panting for breath. Delic cupped Hibiya's cheeks, weakly smiling at him as he answered, "I love you, Hibiya." Hibiya felt his heart soar at that moment before it sunk in the next one, "But I don't think I deserve you. Not after that."

Hibiya felt his cheeks heat up with slight anger as he half-heartedly slammed his fists against Delic's chest, "Idiot! You're such an idiot!" He started to hit Delic harder. "Did it ever occur to you to ask _me_ what _I_ thought?"

"Well," Delic started sheepishly, reaching out and grabbing Hibiya's fists to stop the raven from hitting him more. "No but—"

"So what if I think you're just fine?" Hibiya pointed out, looking at Delic with angry yet saddened eyes. "What if I love you just the way you are?"

"But Hibiya—"

"Delic, do you love me?"

"Well, of course I do, but—"

"So what should it matter?" Hibiya demanded. "Why do you think I'm such an untouchable angel?"

"Because you are!" Delic insisted.

"And because of that you can't love me?" Hibiya asked, looking up at Delic with sad eyes.

"I didn't say that!" Delic protested as he held up his hands innocently. "What I meant was what I've done in life, it just makes me…bad compared to you."

Hibiya's eyes softened as he looked at the downcast blonde. He reached out and placed his hands on Delic's cheeks, lifting the blonde's face to his. His golden eyes searched the blonde's pink ones and for a moment there was that gentle look Hibiya had so badly wanted Delic to give him before the blonde's eyes tightened with pain, probably thinking some stupid thought again about how he wasn't good enough. Hibiya could feel the courage suddenly fill himself as he firmly looked into Delic's eyes and spoke confidently, "I love you, Delic. No matter who you were in the past, this is you now, and this is the you that I love."

Somehow hearing Hibiya say that to him cleared away all the doubts in Delic's mind, and he softly smiled at his angel. He reached up with his own hand to caress Hibiya's face, softly whispering, "How could you love someone like me? After all I've done is hurt you?"

"Well," Hibiya started with a sly smile on his face as he wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck, bringing their faces close together once again. "I guess since it's you, I can forgive you."

Delic laughed, the sound deep and melodious to Hibiya's ears. He couldn't remember the last time he had heard Delic laugh. "Are you sure you're not an angel?" the blonde jokingly said when his laughs subsided.

Hibiya chuckled somewhat mockingly as he leaned forward and whispered in Delic's ear, "I'm not as angelic as you think."

When he pulled away he caught that naughty look in Delic's eyes as the blonde's mouth stretched out into his signature smirk. "Well, it's a good thing that I was never angelic to begin with," Delic said with a wicked spark in his eyes. And then he grabbed the raven's neck and brought Hibiya back down for another kiss, addicted to how good it felt to finally touch his angel's lips.

* * *

><p>Kadota sighed wearily and sadly as he plopped down into a chair in the room. He propped his arm up on the arm of the chair and placed his hand against his forehead, as if that would somehow shield him from everything. Kadota chuckled bitterly as he slumped in the chair. "I guess I never had a chance."<p>

A knock interrupted his thoughts and the brunette curiously looked up at the door before he moved out of the chair and went to open it. "Yes?" Kadota questioned as he opened the door, surprised to find a man he didn't know standing there.

The man also looked surprised to see Kadota but smiled nonetheless, his coffee colored eyes smiling with him. Kadota wondered what the bandages around his forehead and under his right eye were for as red brown hair covered by a tan fedora fell above it. "Can I help you?" Kadota wondered.

"I was told I could find Delic here," the man spoke as he casually placed his hands in his pockets.

"He's in the room two doors down," Kadota grumbled, talking about the blonde irritating him slightly. "But he's probably…occupied right now."

The man seemed to notice Kadota's choice of words and smiled more softly this time at the brunette, "Hm, trouble in paradise?"

"Something like that," Kadota mumbled, wondering faintly why he was mentioning all of this to a stranger and why this stranger was curious.

"Hmm," the guy mused again. His smile became more cattish as he held out his hand to Kadota, "I'm Rokujo Chikage by the way."

"Uh, Kadota Kyohei," Kadota shook his hand.

"Pleasured to meet you," Chikage nodded. The two then awkwardly stood in silence before Chikage spoke again, "Hey, Kadota-san, I was supposed to talk to Delic tonight, but since he's otherwise occupied, how about joining me for a drink in the bar downstairs to kill time? I'll lend you a kind ear and listen to all your sorrows."

"I don—" Kadota started before he paused. A drink sounded pretty good right now, and it wouldn't hurt to share his sorrows with someone, would it? Although he didn't know this man…but wasn't that better? It wasn't like he was going to see this guy ever again so what it did it matter if he shared his love problems? "Sure, why not?"

* * *

><p>"Hey, Dotachin?" Hibiya called out as he knocked on the door slightly. He was surprised when he hadn't seen Kadota all morning, and he was worried that the brunette was stewing over what happened with Delic. When Kadota didn't answer, Hibiya slid the card key and opened the door. "Hey, Dotachin, it's already noon and you usually don—OH MY GOD!" Hibiya's eyes widened as the card key dropped from his hands.<p>

"Eh, Hibiya?" Kadota groggily moaned from the bed. "Is that you?" Kadota sat up slowly, wondering why his body felt so sore as he looked at the raven. He then finally looked down at himself and was shocked that he was naked.

"What's with all the noise?" another sleep voice joined as an equally naked Chikage leaned up on his arms, rubbing his eyes.

"Hibiya, what's the matter? I heard you scream?" Delic suddenly appeared behind Hibiya and his eyes widened as well.

"This isn't what it looks like!" Kadota quickly insisted as he held up his hands innocently, although he was panicking in the back of his head and hoping that was true.

"Hey there, Delic!" Chikage chirped as he appeared behind Kadota, throwing his arm around the brunette's shoulders. "You never told me you had such a cute friend here."

"Chikage?" Delic was surprised to see him. The blonde and raven then looked around the room, the scattered clothes, rustled bed sheets, and unkempt hair on their friends tell-tale signs of what probably happened.

"Uh, we're sorry," Hibiya managed to say as he blushed. "We didn't mean to interrupt you."

"Wait, no, Hibiya, that isn't—" Kadota tried to say.

"Aww, don't be shy, _Kadota-chan~_" Chikage teased. "You weren't very _shy _last night."

Kadota was blushing up to his ears as Delic snorted and tried to hold back a laugh, Hibiya biting his lip to do the same although he was smiling.

"I'll gladly leave him to you then, Chikage!" Delic announced as he pulled Hibiya away and moved to shut the door, waving at the MC.

"Thank you~!" Chikage said in a sing song voice as Kadota called out, "Wait, don't leave me here with him!"

Delic and Hibiya smiled at each other as they closed the door but could hear Chikage say, "Now, now, Kadota-chan, don't even think about pushing me away. You can't deny that our meeting was destiny."

"What destiny? Get the hell away from me!" The rest of their conversation faded as the blonde and raven walked away.

"You think Dotachin will okay?" Hibiya asked with a curious expression on his face.

"He'll be fine," Delic reassured. "Chikage seems like a pretty decent guy. I don't think they'll have any problems at all. Now stop talking about Kadota."

"You jealous?" Hibiya teased as he smiled slyly at Delic.

"Very," Delic said seriously although he was smiling too as he grabbed Hibiya's hand and kissed the top of the raven's palm, "After all, you're mine."

"Psh, I don't belong to you," Hibiya muttered although his face was slightly tinted with red and the tiniest of smiles graced his face.

Delic smiled widely as he intertwined their fingers together and brought Hibiya closer to him with his other arm. "Then I guess that means I'm yours."

Hibiya smiled more widely too, "I like the sound of that."

* * *

><p><strong>Yes, I am a total fan of ChikageKadota! *squeals like a fangirl* Haha. I hope you enjoyed the ending of Delic and Hibiya's story guys. :D**

**Also, I just wanted to say that the wonderful, lovely **_Llumina_ **drew me a fanart for this story! :D *dances around like a happy person*It's the first fanart I've ever received and I never thought I'd ever get fanart so I'm greatly happy that **_Llumina _**drew me one! It's a picture of Tsuki and Roppi and it's absolutely adorable, so please check it out! :) There's a link to it on my profile. (I also hope that **_Llumina _**doesn't mind that I'm sharing this with you guys but I was so excited about it I just had to share. XD)**

**Hopefully, I can post the start of Tsugaru/Psyche's story soon, but I have midterms next week so I apologize ahead of time if it takes a while.**

**But as always, I appreciate you guys reading and reviewing! Thank you so much! ^^**

**-Xaleria**


	10. Tsugaru & Psyche 1

**I'm so sorry this update took a while guys! The good news is my midterms are over so I'll have time to write! :) Thank you everyone for the reviews as well as all the good luck wishes on my midterms; you guys are awesome! ^^**

**I hope you guys enjoy Tsugaru and Psyche's story~**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters.**

* * *

><p><strong>Tsugaru &amp; Psyche<strong>

A cool sea breeze, warm sand he could dig his toes through, a clear blue sky, and the sound of the ocean filling his ears.

If only reality could be like a dream.

Psyche sighed wistfully as he lay back on the bank of long, green grass, staring up at the sky filled with smog and clouds as the chatter of children and the busy sounds of the city surrounded him. It wasn't at all like the dream place he wanted.

Sitting back up, the pink-eyed raven looked around at his beloved hiding spot. It was honestly the only place like this he could find in Ikebukuro, with not a lot of buildings surrounding the bank as a small river ran through it. Well, it was more like a stream, but on rainy days it could almost be a river as it filled up.

A slight breeze picked up and Psyche shivered slightly as it brushed through his hair. He wrapped his arms around himself and he wondered if the breeze was taunting him, as if it were making his already pretty crappy day worse.

_Why are you so unlovable? _It seemed to mockingly ask him. _Why is it that you can never have your love returned?_

Psyche thought back to the first time he fell in love. He had been seven years old then. And he had noticed at his young age that he was quite different from other boys. He never really cared to make friends with girls, despite them gushing over his cute, slightly feminine attitude and looks, and he always had admired the smartest boy in his class. It wasn't until he saw how close the smartest boy and the prettiest girl in class were getting that Psyche realized he was different.

Psyche smiled bitterly as he recalled the memory of his first heartbreak.

"_Hey, Tacchan," Psyche murmured softly as he stared at his folded hands on his lap, nervously twisting and untwisting them together. "Do you ever…feel anything when we hang out?" _

_Tatsuki looked up at Psyche oddly from his notebook, "What do you mean?" _

_Psyche blushed as his voice got quieter, "Well…do you ever…um, does your heart ever beat faster?" _

"_No," Tatsuki's face scrunched up in disgust. "That'd be just weird if it did." _

_Psyche felt his heart sink and he closed his mouth tightly. He then forced himself to laugh, saying, "Yeah, that would be weird, wouldn't it?" _

_He stopped hanging around me that year, didn't he? _Psyche thought to himself as he looked at the grass and pulled out some clumps in slight anger. Psyche wondered if the reason was because of what he had said to Tatsuki. It was a paranoid thought, but Psyche couldn't help it. Although he looked like it on the outside, he was never really confident in himself.

Thinking of his first heartbreak brought back the fresh wounds of his current one as Psyche chuckled darkly. He knew it had been hopeless from the beginning to be in love with his friend and neighbor, Delic. Delic had always only had eyes for his twin brother, Hibiya. But Psyche thought that maybe…maybe because they looked the same, Delic might change his mind.

It had been stupid to think that.

Psyche suddenly perked up as he heard his cell phone ring. He pulled it out of his pocket and saw a text message from his brother, asking where he was. Psyche sighed, not really in the mood to speak to his twin brother. He didn't hate Hibiya for being the one Delic loved, but Psyche was still slightly bitter, and couldn't a man grieve over his broken heart in peace? Glancing at the time before he shut his phone, Psyche was surprised to see how late it really was. He had missed the lunch date he was supposed to have with his brother. No wonder he was texting him.

With a tired sigh, Psyche glanced at his hiding spot once again, kind of wishing he could stay here instead, before he stood up, brushed the dirt of himself, and turned around to walk away. Except he stopped as he saw someone standing on the top of the bank looking down at him. Psyche gasped as his eyes widened, and for a moment he thought he was imagining things.

In front of him stood the most handsome man Psyche had ever seen, even more handsome than Delic. There was a slight calm, wise air about the man as he looked curiously at Psyche. His blonde hair was neat yet choppy as bangs fell above sea blue eyes, clear and sparkling like the ocean water Psyche always dreamed of. And the slight, amused smile that spread across the man's face was as warm as the sand Psyche imagined in his dream place. Psyche suddenly blushed as he realized he had been staring, and he quickly turned and ran away, hearing the man speak for a moment before his voice was lost in the wind. Psyche could feel his cheeks burn as his heart thumped in his chest, and he wondered why he felt like this. Wasn't he just brooding over his lost love a moment ago? But it seemed so far away now as his mouth unconsciously curled into a smile.

_I wonder what his name was_, Psyche thought as he suddenly wished he hadn't run away. _I wonder if I'll ever see him again._

A part of him hoped he would.

* * *

><p>"Tsugaru." The blonde turned around at the sound of his name and he greeted the speaker with a bow.<p>

"Ah, Shiki-san, good morning."

The dark haired yakuza chuckled as he shook his head, "Formal as always, even though I've raised you for the past seventeen years."

"Well, I should give proper respect to the head executive of one of the Awakusu-kai branches," Tsugaru gave his standard, polite smile. It showed no emotion besides calmness, just as he had been trained his entire life to. But there was a trace of amusement in his eyes, and Shiki detected it with an amused smile of his own.

"Ah, but do not forget that before I am your boss, I am your surrogate father," Shiki pointed out. "So please, stop calling me Shiki-san."

"If that is what you wish, Shiki-san," Tsugaru said without meaning to be defiant. They both knew that Tsugaru wouldn't stop. It just wasn't part of the blonde's character, even if Shiki had raised him like a father for seventeen years because of what had happened in the past.

Tsugaru frowned then as he thought about his past. He had been seven years old when he had lost both of his parents, and he had witnessed their deaths. Tsugaru's father used to be the head executive of the Awakusu-kai branch Shiki now headed, and Shiki had been his father's right hand man. At the time, there had been a conflict between the Awakusu-kai and another yakuza group, and both sides had lost a good deal of men. Finally, after a lot of bloodshed, the two families decided to negotiate for peace. But there was still a lot of bitterness over the lost lives and whispers of revenge on the Awakusu-kai.

It had been Tsugaru's birthday when it had happened. His parents had taken him out to his favorite restaurant, and they had given him plenty of wonderful gifts. It had seemed like the best day ever. Even Shiki had stopped by to wish him a happy birthday. And that's when it had happened. Tsugaru remembered it had seemed like time had stopped for a moment, and then he found himself pushed down on the ground, stained with blood. He looked up and saw his mother's dead eyes staring back at him as her arms still held onto Tsugaru. Tsugaru looked back up and saw that his father was holding his side, blood soaking his hands, and was now shooting back out the window. Everything else happened in a blur then. Tsugaru remembered his father shouting something, and then Tsugaru found himself lifted off the ground and out of his mother's arms, Shiki holding him close to his body and running out the restaurant while dodging bullets. The last thing Tsugaru remembered seeing was his father's smiling face before he turned back around and continued firing his gun.

Tsugaru wasn't sure what had happened after that. He had awoken back in his room. Shiki had been beside him, bandaged and cut up. He smiled sadly at Tsugaru and didn't hide the news from him.

"_Your mother and father are dead."_

They held the funeral that next day. It had been a bleak day, gray clouds blocking out the sun and there was a period of a time where it rained. Tsugaru hadn't cried that entire day, holding the funeral picture of both of his parents. Everyone had come up to him that day, trying to smile and say encouraging things. But nothing made him feel better. Tsugaru was just a shell of a person for the next few days, refusing to eat and sitting on his bed, staring out the window. Shiki, who had been made the head executive after the funeral, had taken Tsugaru under his wing then. The yakuza man adopted Tsugaru and nursed him back to health, eventually somehow getting the boy back to being himself. Tsugaru was grateful towards Shiki for taking care of him and returning back some life in him. But sometimes Tsugaru wished he could just forget everything.

"Tsugaru?" Tsugaru snapped out of his memories as he looked back up at Shiki. The man looked at him, concerned, "Is everything alright?"

"Ah, yes," Tsugaru murmured as he tried to smile reassuringly. "I just need some air. I think I'll go for a walk."

"Alright then," Shiki nodded, "Just come back before dinner."

"Yes, Shiki-san," Tsugaru bowed before he walked away, grabbing a jacket from the closet before heading out the door. He really needed to clear his mind. Maybe he'd go to his special hiding spot today. He hadn't been able to go in a while.

So Tsugaru headed in the direction of where there was a medium sized stream he knew that went through Ikebukuro. It was a strange sight in a city of Tokyo, and Tsugaru guessed that was why he liked it. It was like an escape from this place, almost like how a dream was an escape from reality.

Tsugaru looked up at the cloudy sky, frowning because it reminded him of his parent's funeral. Sometimes, he wished he could get away from this city, away from the memories that haunted him. He wished he could go to someplace warm, with clear skies and a vast expanse of land and water, seeming to never have an end. If there was no end to the dream, then he'd be stuck there forever, and he didn't really mind that idea. Being stuck in a dream sounded better than being stuck in reality.

Tsugaru finally came to the bank that led down to the stream, and he stopped as he saw a figure sitting where he usually relaxed. It was a small person with pale skin and Tsugaru could see dark, black hair. The person wore all white, which was a little odd to see on a person usually, and there was pink trim all around his outfit. Tsugaru found the sight quite amusing, until the person turned ever so slightly and Tsugaru caught the expression on his face.

There was evident longing and pain in the person's magenta eyes as they looked around their surroundings. It was like he yearned to stay here but knew he had to face the real world soon. Tsugaru felt a brief connection with the person before the young man stood up and started to walk to where Tsugaru stood. And then he stopped, his pink eyes widening as his mouth formed a surprised 'o'. And Tsugaru, too, was quite surprised to see the young man's full on appearance. Now that he saw the young man more clearly, Tsugaru saw that he was a quite cute with slightly feminine features. A blush then spread across the man's face, and Tsugaru thought it looked absolutely adorable. The blonde couldn't help the amused smile that spread across his face. The young man seemed to turn redder before he quickly ran away.

"Wait—!" Tsugaru called out, but the person was already running off and disappearing. Tsugaru wondered if he should chase after him before his eyes spotted something pink and white sticking out from the green grass. He bent down and picked it up, turning it around in his hands before he saw that it was a small mp3 player.

Tsugaru looked back towards where the young man had run off. _I wonder what his name was. I wonder if I'll ever see him again._

Tsugaru looked down at the white and pink mp3 player, a sticker with a name stuck on the back of it. "Psyche?" Tsugaru read before a small smile graced his face and he tucked the player into his pocket. "I hope we meet again."

* * *

><p>"Tssssssukiiiiiiiiii-kun~! Please~!" Psyche begged as he clasped his hands together.<p>

It had been a few days since Psyche had run into that blonde stranger at his hiding spot. After some arguments with himself and deliberation, Psyche had gone back to his hiding spot every day, but the blonde never showed again. Psyche was a little disappointed, but he tried to not let it get to him as he went on with his life. Currently, he was dealing with a guilty Hibiya trying to make things up to him. Hibiya felt that since he had been wrong and that Delic didn't return Psyche's feelings, Psyche was heartbroken. Which had been true, but Psyche had somewhat expected this for a while so it didn't hurt as it had initially when he realized Delic had loved his brother. And he was starting to get over it, and Psyche realize that maybe he hadn't loved Delic as much as he thought, especially when the blonde he kept thinking of started to have blue eyes instead of Delic's pink ones.

But Hibiya was such a persistent bastard sometimes, always wanting to do things he thought Psyche would enjoy, but honestly Psyche was getting sick of it. And he somewhat still didn't want to face his brother with Delic. He may be over it, but that didn't mean it still didn't hurt to see them together. Which is why Psyche was sitting in front of the café, La Petite Étoile, trying to convince Delic's little brother, Tsukishima, to hang out with him in order to avoid Delic and his twin.

"But Psyche-nii," Tsukishima looked troubled and a tad annoyed. Psyche thought it was sometimes strange how alike Tsukishima and Delic looked, with their blonde hair and odd colored eyes, but the two of them had completely different personalities. "I'm meeting my lover today. I can't hang out with you."

"Can't you just take me along? If Hibiya finds me he'll drag me off to god knows where!" Psyche tried to look as pitiful as possible to gain sympathy.

"Psyche-nii," Tsukishima sighed. "I'm sorry. Just not today. Roppi-san will be here any minute now."

Psyche sighed in defeat. He didn't want to face his brother, but he also didn't want to interrupt Tsukishima's date. Psyche had initially been shocked when he had learned that Tsukishima was dating a man, but who was he to judge? Tsukishima looked truly happy.

"Alright then," Psyche conceded although he sulked as Tsukishima suddenly brightened up and ran off to a raven-haired person standing near the sidewalk. Psyche watched the two of them talk before they walked off. They looked so happy, with Tsukishima smiling brightly as the raven-haired, scarlet-eyed man smiled softly back at Tsukishima.

Why did it seem like Psyche was the only one who wasn't happy?

"Um, would you like to order anything?" Psyche turned to the voice to find a small, black haired boy—probably still a high school student—with baby blue eyes and a shy expression that was somewhat endearing. Psyche noted the boy's nametag said "Mikado" on it as the boy held a pad of paper in his hand and looked at Psyche expectantly.

"Uh, sure, I'll have a chocolate hazelnut latte please. And I'll take it inside," Psyche said, figuring what would it hurt if he killed some time here? If he wasn't at home, then his brother wouldn't bug him.

The young waiter boy nodded and Psyche followed him inside and took a seat at the bar, where a blonde barista stood with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. Psyche wondered if that was proper protocol before another blonde boy with light brown eyes, dressed in the same waiter clothes the Mikado kid had been wearing, sort of danced by and plucked the cigarette out of the barista's mouth.

"Tom-san said no smoking in the café, senpai!" the blonde kid said cheerfully, throwing the cigarette into a trash bin as the barista looked pissed.

"Damn brat! It wasn't lit so I wasn't smoking!" the barista barked. "I thought you were supposed to respect your elders!"

"Um, senpai," Mikado meekly called out as the other waiter boy sniggered and ran off to escape the barista's wrath.

"What?" the barista growled as he turned to Mikado. The raven squeaked a bit before holding out the paper with Psyche's order on it. The barista frowned before he shook his head with a disbelieving snort, took the paper from Mikado's hand, and waved the kid off.

Psyche watched with an amused smile, quite surprised by the workers of the café and thinking this was more interesting to watch then the kabuki drama Hibiya had wanted to take him to. Psyche then observed the barista mixing together his drink, taking careful movements to pour the right amount of everything inside the mug.

"Chocolate hazelnut latte," the barista stated as he placed the cup in front of Psyche. Psyche nodded his thanks and took the cup in his hands, sighing in relief at how warm it felt. Just as he was about to take a sip, the door opened and Psyche looked over curiously and almost dropped his drink.

There, standing at the door, was the blonde man Psyche had seen a few days ago, his sea blue eyes looking around. Psyche quickly pulled his hood up and turned around, trying to hide himself. He really wished he could melt into the ground right now. What was he even doing here? Psyche wasn't sure if he was emotionally ready to face the blonde stranger if he really thought about it now.

"Ah, Tsugaru," the barista nodded to the blonde man. "It's been a while."

_So his name is Tsugaru?_ Psyche thought as he dared to take a quick peek, seeing a warmness in the man's blue eyes. _Are they brothers?_ Psyche wondered as he finally noticed how similar the barista and the mysterious blonde stranger looked, although the barista's eyes were a coffee color.

"Hello Shizuo, it has been a while," the blonde stranger, Tsugaru, greeted as he took a seat only one chair away from Psyche. It was a good thing he seemed oblivious and that Psyche used his oversized hood to hide most of his face.

"You doing okay?" the barista, Shizuo, asked, the expression on his face genuinely worried. "Mom's worried about you."

"Tell Auntie I'm fine," Tsugaru smiled reassuringly. "Shiki-san is taking good care of me."

Shizuo shrugged, "If you say so. But you know, you can always come stay at my place if you ever want to leave that lifestyle."

"And be the possible victim of Izaya's pranks on you? No thanks," Tsugaru chuckled.

"Don't mention that damn louse!" Shizuo growled as he angrily fisted his hand together and banged it loudly against the bar.

The action shocked Psyche, who had been paying more attention to the blue-eyed blonde than his drink, and his grip on the cup loosened, the latte spilling over and splashing on his shirt. "Ahh! Hot! Hot!" Psyche jumped from the chair, pulling the wet fabric away from his skin as his hood fell off his head.

"Are you okay?" Tsugaru asked, rushing to help Psyche. He then blinked as he recognized him, "Wait, aren't you—"

"Shit!" Shizuo interrupted, barging through the two of them and dumping some cold water onto Psyche, effectively chilling him. "I'm sorry about that!"

"I-It's okay," Psyche muttered as he looked at his soaked clothes, his face bright red. _How embarrassing_, Psyche felt mortified as he peeked at blue eyed blonde who smiled apologetically at him.

"I'm sorry about my cousin here," Tsugaru said as he placed his hand on Shizuo's shoulder. "He's not always the sharpest tool in the box."

"Hey!" Shizuo growled as he turned to glare at Tsugaru.

"I-I'm fine really!" Psyche squeaked as he quickly looked at the ground.

"Now your clothes are all wet though," Tsugaru pointed out. "Shizuo, are there any extra uniforms in the back he could change into?"

"Ah, yeah, come with me," Shizuo grabbed Psyche's hand before he could protest and the raven looked bewilderedly at Tsugaru before he was dragged towards the back locker room. Once they entered the room, a white button down shirt and black slacks were handed to Psyche. "There's a sink over there with some towels in the cupboard next to it so you can wipe yourself down. Oh, and you can put your clothes in here," Shizuo handed him a bag with the café's logo on it. "Just come back out when you're done." And then Shizuo left and shut the door behind him, leaving the raven alone in the locker room.

Psyche looked at the door in some confusion, wondering if all of that really did just happen. He then looked at the clothes in his hands and sighed, pulling off his jacket and changing. When he was completely changed, Psyche hesitantly peeked out of the locker room.

"Are you okay?"

"Ahh!" Psyche turned around with wide eyes as the blonde, blue eyed stranger stood by the door, smiling politely. "Don't scare me like that!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," Tsugaru apologized though there was still an amused glint in his eyes. "You're Psyche, right?"

"H-How do you know my name?" Psyche wondered as he clutched the bag of his clothes close to his chest, as if that would stop his heart from pounding so loudly inside of it.

"You dropped this the other day," Tsugaru held out a familiar pink and white mp3 player that had Psyche's name on the back.

"Ah! I've been looking for that!" Psyche took it in his hands and smiled gratefully at Tsugaru. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Tsugaru returned the smile. "Now about my repayment…"

"Repayment?" Psyche cried out incredulously. He wasn't seriously going to ask for money was he?

Tsugaru just smiled charmingly, "In return for giving your mp3 player back to you, would you repay me by joining me for dinner tonight? I know this great exotic sushi place."

"D-Di-Dinner?" Psyche tried to force down the panicky, fluttering feeling in his stomach as his face burned. "L-Li-like a date?"

"If you'd like," Tsugaru smiled more widely, thinking it was quite adorable how easily flustered this young man was.

"Ah…but…um…we hardly know each other?" Psyche pathetically tried to offer as an excuse.

But Tsugaru just got a sly look on his face and held out his hand, "I'm Tsugaru. Nice to meet you. There, now we know each other."

Psyche had to smile a little bit at that. The man was quite charming in his own way. Slowly, but surely, Psyche took the blonde's offered hand and shook it. "Nice to meet you, Tsugaru."

Tsugaru squeezed Psyche's hand slightly, flashing the raven a small smile, "Now about that dinner…"

* * *

><p><strong>Ahhh! So sorry again that this took a while guys! I hope you can forgive me. <strong>

**Also, I hope this chapter didn't seem like it went by too fast. O_o Tsugaru and Psyche's story kind of spans actually over a lot of time so sometimes I'll skip ahead in time because, well, this is meant to be a short story and I don't want any boring filler parts. XD**

**But I hope you guys enjoyed Shizuo's appearance! And the rest of the original Durarara characters as well. :) You will see more of them later.**

**Thank you guys for reading and reviewing!**

**-Xaleria**


	11. Tsugaru & Psyche 2

**OMG I LOVE YOU GUYS! :D No, I love you guys times infinity! I got 112 reviews for this story! And I've ever only reached past 100 reviews on only one of my other stories and this is my first Durarara story to get so popular! I'm so happy to see you're all enjoying it and thanks so much for loving my story guys I promise to make it good until the very end!**

**Please enjoy the second chapter of Tsugaru and Psyche's story~!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters.**

* * *

><p><strong>Tsugaru &amp; Psyche<strong>

Dinner. Psyche tested out the word in his head, changing the tone of the word as if that would make it less intimidating, **Dinner.** _Dinner_. Dinner. Dinner! DINNER!

Psyche groaned as he fell face first onto his bed, his pillow muffling his sounds. He kind of wished he hadn't agreed to dinner, but it was too late now to back out. Tsugaru would be coming to get him in a couple hours. Psyche then pulled out his phone and flipped it open, looking at the new contact that was just added this morning.

_Tsugaru_

The typed name stared back at him, and Psyche felt his face heat up slightly as he remembered the slightly less than stellar first meeting they had this morning. But Tsugaru had been quite calm about everything, talking smoothly and trading numbers with Psyche while Psyche was just a fumbling, blushing mess that wasn't sure what was going on the entire time. There was just something about Tsugaru that threw Psyche off balance.

"Psyche! Are you here?" Psyche heard his brother call out as he also heard the front door open and slam close. Psyche really wished Hibiya didn't always know where he hid his spare key. Being twins sucked sometimes. Just as Psyche was about to call out that he was in his room, another voice spoke.

"Hibiya," Psyche stiffened as he recognized the blonde's voice. He could imagine Delic trying to plead with Hibiya, holding his twin's hand and ruffling his hair softly. "I really don't think we should bug him."

Psyche then became very quiet, tiptoeing over to his bedroom door and pressing his ear against it. He could feel his heart thumping his chest, more in anxiety than anything else, and he felt a slight painful tug on his heart. But it wasn't as painful as it had been before. Maybe he was right and never did love Delic as much as he thought? But he couldn't deny there was still lingering feelings of yearning and hurt. Broken hearts were never easy things to get over after all.

"But I'm worried about him, Delic," Hibiya respond, his voice clearly showing that emotion. Psyche suddenly felt guilty over making his brother worry about him. He should be happy with how things were now, not worrying about whether Psyche was doing alright or not.

"Psyche just needs some time alone, Hibi-kun," Delic sighed. "And if you keep bugging him like this, it's not going to make him happy. Remember how you felt when you thought I loved Psyche and you had to face him? Well how do you think Psyche feels having to face you and knowing you're the one I love instead?"

"Oh," Psyche whispered to himself as he placed his hand over his mouth to make sure he made no more noises and also out of surprise. He could feel the tears pooling in the corners of his eyes as there was a twinge of pain in his heart. Why was Delic so caring? Why did he always seem to know the right thing to say? He always knew how to comfort Psyche, and he was comforting him again without even knowing it. Psyche thought Delic would hate him for being in the way. For being an obstacle to his and Hibiya's love. He hadn't faced the blonde since the day Delic and Hibiya had resolved their issues. Psyche had been afraid to.

"I…I see what you mean," Hibiya muttered and Psyche could imagine how guilty he probably looked right now, and he pitied his brother for a moment.

"There," Psyche could practically see the smug yet soft smile on Delic's face. "I knew you would see things clearly. Now come on, let's go. It looks like Psyche isn't home anyway."

Psyche kept quiet as he heard his brother and Delic shuffle for a moment before the front door was opened then shut, the lock clicking. The raven let out a breath he didn't even notice till then he was holding it. His legs felt weak and he dropped to the ground, shaking slightly. _Why?_ He wondered as he looked at his hand, it shaking a bit before he clenched it to make it stop. _Why couldn't I be the one this time? _But Psyche just laughed miserably, placing his hand over his eyes. "What am I thinking?" Although he was smiling he could feel the tears streaking down his face. _I was never the one to start with._

Psyche bit his lip before he forced himself to laugh more cheerfully. It was time to cast aside these old feelings, he thought as he wiped the tears from his eyes and resolved to move on. Delic had shown he still cared for him. Maybe it wasn't in the way Psyche had hoped for before, but the blonde wasn't completely gone from him. He would still be there as a friend, and Psyche decided that maybe that was enough. He didn't want to miserably stick to this one-sided love for so long. It would only hurt him more. And he didn't like being hurt.

_And besides,_ Psyche thought as he stood up, walking towards his closet to pick out a new outfit, the image of a blonde with blue eyes flashing through his mind. _I think I may have finally found someone who can look at __**me**__ for once._

* * *

><p>To say that he was a nervous was an understatement. Psyche was unraveling apart on the inside. He just hoped it didn't show as he walked slowly, hand in hand with Tsugaru. The blonde's hand was very warm and large compared to Psyche's and the raven felt his head spin as he tried to remember how it came to this.<p>

He had been waiting at home, jumpy and fidgety as he tried to imagine what the night would be like. Then he really had jumped when his doorbell rang. And when he answered the door, Psyche wondered if Tsugaru could see how nervous he was.

The blue-eyed blonde had just smiled comfortingly at Psyche, holding out his hand in offering, "Are you ready?"

"S-sure?" Psyche squeaked slightly before coughing and trying to clear his throat. But his mouth felt so dry, and his heart kept beating in his chest as Tsugaru grabbed his hand and pulled Psyche out of the apartment, letting the raven lock up for they left for the apartment complex.

Tsugaru then informed Psyche they would be walking to their destination, as it was close by, and the blonde didn't let go of Psyche's hand as they walked. Psyche tried to keep calm though he could feel his palm starting to get sweaty with anxiety and he tried to resist the urge to pull it away. It would be rude, and so far Tsugaru didn't seem to mind. Psyche wondered if Tsugaru could feel how his hand was shaking? How did the blonde manage to stay so calm? Maybe he had done this before?

Psyche couldn't help the dark feeling of jealousy and doubt that filled him then. This was technically the first time he had ever gone on a date with a man, as his previous crushes were never reciprocated. Of course, he had tried out gay bars and tried hooking up with other men, but it just never felt right and soon he stopped going. So this was the first time a man had ever really shown interest in him, and he too was interested.

But what if Tsugaru was just playing around with him? After all, he wasn't nearly as nervous looking at Psyche was. Maybe this was something he did often and Psyche was just one of many flings? Psyche started to frown as he became depressed. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. What was he thinking, that this might be something special? It was only repayment for returning the mp3 player right? Isn't that all that Tsugaru was expecting?

"Um, Tsugaru-san," Psyche started before the blonde interrupted him.

"Just Tsugaru is fine," Tsugaru smiled reassuringly at Psyche, causing the raven to blush slightly at the idea of referring to him by his first name without honorifics.

"Uh, then…T-Ts-Tsugaru?" Psyche placed one hand over his face in embarrassment. Didn't they just meet today? Was it proper to do this?

But Psyche looked up as he felt the blonde ruffle his hair affectionately, "I guess this means I should call you Psyche then."

Hearing his name coming from the blonde's lips made Psyche blush profusely as he looked at the ground, finding his feet interesting. Psyche had to give it to the blonde, he was very charming. Tsugaru just seemed to have this magic ability to make Psyche forget all of his troubles as what Psyche was going to say earlier escaped his memory. They finally stopped, arriving at their destination. Psyche looked up at the moniker sign curiously. "Russia Sushi?"

"I know it doesn't seem like a normal sushi place," Tsugaru chuckled as he led Psyche inside. "But I guarantee that they have some pretty good food here."

Psyche just took his word for it but almost jumped away from the blonde when they walked inside and were greeted by a booming voice belonging to a large, black man.

"Oh! Tsugaru!" the black man called out cheerfully, trays of food balanced on his arms as a wide smile was on his face. "You come for more sushi, yes? Sushi delicious, yes?"

"Hello Simon," Tsugaru nodded. "I need a table for two. And preferably a private room."

It was then that the black man, Simon, blinked and took notice of Tsugaru's companion. "Oh! You brought a friend?" The man then said something in a language Psyche couldn't recognize, but apparently Tsugaru knew it because the blonde chuckled and said something back. The raven wondered what they were talking about, but before he could say anything, the black man spoke in his weird Japanese again.

"I give you good room, yes?" Simon started walking towards the back of the store as Tsugaru and Psyche followed him. Simon then opened the sliding doors of a private dining room big enough for two and ushered the two in. He spoke again in the foreign language with Tsugaru then bid the two of them goodbye, leaving them with menus and shutting the doors. Psyche then suddenly felt nervous about being alone with the blonde.

"Ah, um," Psyche started as he shifted slightly in his sitting position, uncomfortable with the silence. "What was that language you guys were speaking?"

"Russian," Tsugaru answered as he got comfortable in his seat.

"Wow," Psyche's eyes widened with genuine shock and admiration. "Where did you learn to speak that?"

Tsugaru had a small, amused smile on his face, as if there were some silent joke to it, "A friend of my cousin's."

"The cousin I met at the coffee shop?" Psyche wondered as he tilted his head with curiosity.

Tsugaru nodded, "His friend is well-versed in languages."

"Do you know any other languages?" Psyche asked, and as they continued to talk the two lapsed into a natural conversation. They started to share their interests and hobbies, talking animatedly about them. There were a brief interruption when they had to order, but once that was done they went straight back to talking. Psyche found out that Tsugaru and him had similar tastes in music, and that they both liked to sing. Tsugaru also apparently could do traditional Japanese dances. Psyche shared his love of games of all sorts. The raven found he liked talking to Tsugaru because the blonde seemed earnest in his interest in listening to and learning more about Psyche.

Their conversation only stopped once again when Simon came back with their food. Psyche stared at the odd creations of sushi on the plate, having never seen stuff like it before. He looked at Tsugaru with a slight bewildered and hesitant look in his eyes. The blonde just laughed at the look, "I know it looks weird, but I swear it tastes pretty good."

Psyche still looked at it hesitantly. Tsugaru then smiled somewhat mischievously and said, "You know, you're very cute, Psyche."

"C-Cute?" Psyche opened his mouth in shock as he exclaimed this. He didn't get the chance to continue what he was saying as suddenly Tsugaru popped a sushi piece in his mouth. Psyche closed his mouth in reflex, blushing as he realized he had fallen for Tsugaru's trick. But as he chewed he realized that Tsugaru was right. Although the sushi had looked weird, it did taste pretty good, with a slight sweet taste to whatever it was.

"Good?" Tsugaru questioned with a knowing smile as Psyche swallowed. The raven only nodded, still a bit embarrassed by Tsugaru's actions although the blonde's eyes twinkled with amusement, "Want me to hand feed you the rest?"

"T-T-that's okay!" Psyche insisted as he picked up his chopsticks, his face heating up once again. "I can feed myself!"

The blonde just laughed as he watched Psyche try to prove his point by picking up another piece of sushi and stuffing it inside his mouth. They continued the dinner with talking and eating, laughing and enjoying each other's company.

* * *

><p>"That was pretty good," Psyche admitted as he laughed cheerfully. He was quite enjoying his night. Tsugaru was such a gentleman, insisting on paying the bill even though Psyche tried to argue to split it. But of course, the blonde had charmed his way into convincing Psyche to let him have his way. And Tsugaru held Psyche's hand every chance he got. This made the raven blush but he found he was starting to grow fond of the feeling of the man's hand holding his, which is what they did now as they walked through the streets of Ikebukuro, ignoring some of the stares they got from people.<p>

"I told you so," Tsugaru smirked triumphantly.

Psyche rolled his eyes at the blonde although he was smiling. "So I guess this is where I thank you for a great night out?"

Tsugaru cocked an eyebrow up in slight disbelief as he smiled, "Who said the night was over?"

Psyche looked confused, not sure what Tsugaru was implying with those words, "What do you mean?"

Tsugaru had the mischievous look in his eyes again, "You'll see."

Curious, the raven allowed Tsugaru to lead him through the streets of Ikebukuro until they finally came to a tall business building. Psyche wondered what exactly Tsugaru wanted to show him as they went inside and took the elevator to the top floor. Once they were at the top floor they climbed another set of stairs to the rooftop. Once the door opened, Psyche could see why Tsugaru took him here.

Because of the building's height, when Psyche walked to the ledge and looked out, he could see the entire city from this point. The lights of the buildings through Ikebukuro lit up, lighting the night sky like the stars that weren't visible through the city smog. It was beautiful, seeing the colorful lights stretch far out, the sky seeming endless. Psyche let out a breath of awe, his mouth curling up into the smile. It may not be the ocean, but this wasn't so bad. It reminded him of his hometown.

"This is beautiful," Psyche murmured as he turned back to look at Tsugaru. "How did you find it?"

"I've always been a wanderer," Tsugaru confessed as he smiled softly and looked out at the city. "This is just one of the many places I found while on my 'adventures'. It's nice, a place away from home for me to escape to."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Psyche said as he placed his hand on the ledge of the building, thinking back to his green bank and stream hiding place. He knew very well how he craved escape sometimes. A dream world, someplace separate from reality where he can go ahead and relax. As Psyche turned to look at Tsugaru, seeing the blonde with his hands tucked in his pants' pockets and looking out at the city wistfully, the raven felt a connection with him. They were both dreamers who shared the same dream. They both wanted to get away. And Psyche wondered what it was that Tsugaru wanted to get away from. Because usually, when someone wanted to escape from the world, it was because something was hurting them.

Psyche felt understanding and pity for Tsugaru then. Without thinking Psyche reached out and brushed his hand against Tsugaru's cheek in a comforting motion. The blonde looked at him, surprised at the action. Psyche blushed, a bit embarrassed he had done such a thing, but he didn't pull away as he smiled gratefully at Tsugaru. "Thank you…for showing me this."

Tsugaru at first blinked in surprise, his blue eyes curious as to what caused this. But then a small smile broke out across his face and he placed his hand over Psyche's, causing the raven to turn redder at the action. But it was cute, and Tsugaru found he liked seeing Psyche like this. There was a mutual understanding in both of their eyes as they looked at each other. "You're welcome," Tsugaru said softly.

Tsugaru then pulled Psyche's hand away from his face but still held onto it as he intertwined their fingers together. His other free hand then reached up and grabbed Psyche's chin, pulling the surprised raven forward so that their lips met for a sweet kiss. And in that moment, it felt like nothing else in the world existed. It was just the two of them, connected by their chaste kiss and their threaded fingers. Even when they pulled away, dreamy eyed, they still could only look at each other and wonder…

How did they ever live without each other? Because never before had the two of them felt complete like they did right now. Tsugaru wondered if Psyche could fill the gap that had been inside him since ever he lost his parents. And Psyche wondered if the reason his heart had been broken repeatedly was because he was supposed to find Tsugaru who could fix him. And despite the dreariness of their backgrounds, they couldn't help but be thankful that it had led them here. Because they had finally found someone who could understand. Someone who could keep them company in this lonely world, and escape with them to fulfill their dreams.

The two of them smiled at each other, their hands still intertwined as their motions seemed natural. To an outsider, they would be shocked to learn that the two had just met today. It seemed like the two had known each other for years. They both turned to look back at the city, unconsciously leaning against each other and fitting together like pieces of a puzzle. The two of them wondered…

_Is this what they call destiny?_

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><p>Shiki looked up from the papers on his desk as there was a knock on his door. "Come in."<p>

A subordinate walked in and bowed respectively, "Shiki-sama, Akabayashi-sama has arrived."

"Alright, let him in," Shiki ordered. The subordinate bowed respectively again and left. A moment later he returned with three people in tow.

"Shiki-no-danna(1)," Akabayashi greeted with a nod of his head and a wide, somewhat sly, smile. The red-haired man looked cheerful as did his equally bright, violet eyes. A scar ran through one of his eyes. "It's been a while, hasn't it? We haven't seen each other since the previous master's funeral."

"It has been a while, Akabayashi-san," Shiki nodded in greeting back. He then turned to Akabayashi's company, smiling politely, "New guard?"

"Ah, yes," Akabayashi nodded in the direction of a young, serious looking young man in a suit. His hair was a dark blonde and his eyes were shut close, his mouth set in a firm line. "This is Yumasaki Walker. He's Erika's new guard."

"Shiki-sama," Walker greeted with a respective bow. Shiki acknowledged him with a nod.

"I see," Shiki mused as he then turned to the other person with Akabayashi. "And this must be Erika. You've grown up a lot since the last time I saw you."

The black haired, dark eyed young woman smiled courteously at Shiki, "Hello Shiki-sama, it is wonderful to see you in good health."

"There's no need to be so polite, Erika," Shiki smiled wider as he placed his arm around her shoulder and led her and Akabayashi to a couch to sit down. "After all, we're going to be family someday. Tsugaru's not here at the moment, but I'm sure when he comes back he'll be pleased to meet his fiancée."

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><p><strong>Hm...I feel that I was really cheesy in this chapter. :O I'm not that pleased with it…but honestly this chapter gave me some trouble. O_o I got really stuck in how to write it, and I feel like for Psyche and Tsugaru everything is a bit too fast paced. But I swear it'll slow down next chapter.<strong>

**Anyway, I apologize this took long. :( Like I said, this chapter gave me a bit of trouble and there was a brief period where I had writer's block for this story. D: It doesn't help that I also started working on two new Shizaya projects that I plan to post once this story is done. O_o But don't worry! This story is top priority before I start working on others. I will finish this one first. :) But I hope you guys can look forward to my upcoming Shizaya projects~! ^^**

**Thank you for reading and reviewing everyone! I hope this chapter was enjoyable despite me not really liking how it came out. XD**

**-Xaleria**

(1) I'm not 100% sure as I haven't read the novels yet (I got this info from other fanfics and the internet), but in the novel Akabayashi is supposed to be super formal in his speech and apparently he calls Shiki "Shiki-no-danna" which is a way of saying "master" or (I find this hilarious) "husband". I'm pretty sure Akabayashi means "master" (unless there's something he and Shiki are hiding from us…) so I decided to have him call Shiki that to stay IC.


	12. Tsugaru & Psyche 3

**You guys are the absolute best! :) I'm so glad you all loved the last chapter.**

**Also, the wonderful Llumina has again drawn me a fanart for this story, this time of Delic and Hibiya! And it's uber cute so please feel free to check it out as there's a link at the bottom of my profile. ^^ Thank you!**

**I hope you guys enjoy the third chapter of Tsugaru and Psyche's story~!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters.**

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><p><strong>Tsugaru &amp; Psyche<strong>

It was hard to let go of each other's hands that night as Tsugaru dropped Psyche off home. The feeling was comfortable and not awkward despite the fact that it was still their first date, and the their fingers still lingered close together even as Psyche reached to his apartment, one hand on the door handle and the other still clinging to the tips of Tsugaru's fingers.

It felt like if he let go, Tsugaru might disappear and all of this would amount to being a dream, and the idea of that scared him. "What's the matter?" Tsugaru whispered softly, grasping onto Psyche's hand more tightly, reassuringly squeezing it.

"Ah," Psyche blushed, the sudden thought he had seemingly embarrassing. He looked at the ground, shy and unsure of whether he should actually answer or not. "Um, it's...nothing."

Tsugaru frowned, sensing the insecurity of Psyche's words. "You're lying to me."

"I-I'm not!" Psyche quickly insisted, backing up against his apartment door as Tsugaru stepped forward.

The blonde narrowed his blue eyes, moving his arms to trap Psyche between them as he leaned closer to the raven. "You're definitely lying. Why not just tell me the truth?"

"B-Be-Because," Psyche stuttered, his face heating up and his knees feeling weak. He covered his face with his hands, speaking in a low voice, "it's embarrassing."

Tsugaru had to smile at the utter cuteness of the flustered Psyche and he moved to grab one of Psyche's hands and pull it away from his face. "Come on," Tsugaru reassured, smiling softly as he saw Psyche's magenta eyes widen slightly. "You can tell me."

Psyche was sure his face was red up to his ears as he turned his face to the side to avoid looking at Tsugaru in the eye. It was just too easy to get lost in those eyes. He mumbled something under his breath.

"What, I didn't hear you," Tsugaru prompted, his smile widening as Psyche turned even redder and his body was trembling slightly.

"I-I-...I said," Psyche took in a deep breath, then let it out as he spoke, his next words making Tsugaru freeze, "don't go."

Tsugaru blinked in shock, his mouth open with surprise. He looked at the raven who just looked even more ashamed. "Ah, never mind. Just forget what I—"

"Do you mean that?" Tsugaru interrupted, his face serious though the delight and slight cautiousness evident in his eyes. "Do you really want me to stay here?"

"I—" Psyche started to protest, but then he stopped. While it was slightly embarrassing to admit it, he really didn't want Tsugaru to leave. He wanted him here a little bit more, just to confirm that this was real. That this wasn't a dream and when he woke up Tsugaru would still be there. Psyche shuffled nervously, looking at the ground, "Yeah."

Tsugaru looked at the raven, a wide smile across his face. "You do know the implications of your words, right?"

If were even possible, Psyche's face got even more red, "I-I-Id-Idiot! I-I didn't mean it like that!" He turned away from Tsugaru, trying to push the blonde away from him.

Tsugaru chuckled, pulling the raven into his arms into a tight embrace. He buried his face in Psyche's dark hair, inhaling a subtle sweet, airy scent as he spoke softly, "I know. I was just teasing you. This…this is enough."

Suddenly Psyche's nerves calmed and it was surprisingly comforting being simply held by Tsugaru. It felt warm and safe, like nothing in the word could hurt him now. Psyche sniffed and found that Tsugaru smelled like vanilla with a hint of tobacco. Usually Psyche hated smokers but on Tsugaru the scent wasn't unpleasant. "We should probably go inside now," Tsugaru suddenly interrupted Psyche's thoughts. The blonde tilted his head slightly to gesture towards one of Psyche's neighbors who peeked out from her door, staring at the two of them with wide eyes.

Psyche blushed once again, fumbling for his keys in his pockets before he opened the door. He was caught off guard though when Tsugaru suddenly pulled him inside and shut the door in one swift movement, trapping Psyche between his arms. The raven opened his mouth to speak in shock, but was silenced when Tsugaru suddenly leaned downward and captured Psyche's lips. The raven's pink eyes widened before they fluttered close, Psyche losing himself into the sensations of the kiss. It wasn't rough in any bad way, though it was demanding as Tsugaru held Psyche's chin in place and worked his tongue inside the raven's mouth. Psyche felt his knees go weak as he felt the blonde lick and suck, his tongue traveling as far as it could go, paying close attention to the details of Psyche's mouth and stroking the raven's own tongue to respond. Psyche's fingers shakily gripped Tsugaru's shirt as the blonde moved his hands to cup the raven's face, tilting Psyche's head ever so slightly for better access. Psyche felt the strength from his legs finally give out and he gasped for breath as he fell to the ground, Tsugaru holding him half up by his arms.

"I'm sorry," Tsugaru breathed out, kneeling down to be at Psyche's eye level as he pushed stray strands of hair from the raven's face. "Was that too much?"

"A-a little…" Psyche murmured breathily as he tried to steady his breathing, his face burning and his heart beating so fast.

"Sorry," Tsugaru smiled apologetically as he gently caressed Psyche's face. "I just can't help it. There's just…there's just something about you that—that drives me crazy!"

So Psyche wasn't the only one feeling that? Psyche felt his heart thump. He wasn't the only one who was anxious yet soaring? By the look in Tsugaru's eyes, he guessed he wasn't. Psyche smiled softly, slowly wrapping his arms around Tsugaru's neck and snuggling close to the blonde. "It's the same for me too."

Tsugaru laughed, the sound deep and melodious to Psyche's ears. "Watch it," the blonde warned as he rubbed his thumb against Psyche's cheek. "I may not be able to hold back if you keep tempting me like this."

Psyche looked a bit hesitant, pulling away slightly to bit his lip in worry. The playful look in Tsugaru's eyes softened and he leaned forward to chastely kiss Psyche's forehead, moving down to the raven's eyes, nose, and then finally his mouth. It wasn't like the kiss they had earlier. It was quick and gentle as their lips just brushed against each other. Tsugaru pulled away, smiling at the confused and shy look on Psyche's face. "Don't worry," Tsugaru reassured him again as he pulled Psyche's hand up to his mouth and softly kissed the top of the raven's palm. "I won't do anything you don't want me too. But at least let me do this."

Tsugaru then pulled the raven up, gently guiding him towards where he suspected the bedroom was. After discovering he was correct, Tsugaru led the raven to the bed and gently placed him down after he pulled off Psyche's jacket, hovering slightly over Psyche. The pink-eyed raven looked at Tsugaru questionably although his face was dusted with red and his eyes shone slightly with anticipation and anxiety. Tsugaru just smiled softly, silently telling Psyche everything was okay and to trust him. And to his surprise, Psyche did trust him.

The blue eyed blonde pulled Psyche's hand up to his mouth again, softly kissing each tip of Psyche's fingers and trailing soft, butterfly kisses down his hand to his wrist and then further up his arm, Tsugaru pushing up the sleeve of Psyche's shirt as high as it could go. Tsugaru then moved on to Psyche's shoulder pushing the shirt away to kiss the bare, pale skin there, moving slowly up to the raven's neck. Although Psyche's shirt wasn't pulled off and the kisses never became anything more than that, Psyche could feel his entire body heating up everywhere Tsugaru touched him. Every place he kissed burned and everywhere his fingers traveled left a trailing of smoldering desire. But Psyche felt the anxiety churning in his stomach and then closed his eyes, focusing just on Tsugaru touching him.

The blonde was gentle in all his actions, slowly and lovingly kissing Psyche all over. Tsugaru's breath slightly tickled against Psyche's skin, and the raven had to hold back a giggle at some times. Tsugaru also never went below Psyche's shirt collar, instead going back to the places he already kissed and again giving them loving attention. Tsugaru didn't even allow his hand to travel past Psyche's waist, though he teasingly drew soft circles on Psyche's stomach and trailed up and down the raven's chest.

Psyche was beyond embarrassed that his breathing was becoming more labored, his face more pink colored, and his body even hotter than it already was. Tsugaru had no idea what kind of effect he was having on the raven. Psyche bit his lip and put his hand over his mouth for good measure to keep back the lusty sounds that wanted to escape.

"Don't do that," Tsugaru managed to breathe as he gently tugged Psyche's hand away from the raven's face. "I want to see your face." He then paused and took in Psyche's flushed expression, his pink eyes wide and his mouth slightly agape. The blonde couldn't resist and leaned down to kiss Psyche ferociously, tangling their tongue together and threading his fingers through the soft, black hair, pulling only slightly away occasionally only to catch a quick breath before going back to those lips again. They completely broke apart only moments later, both panting for breath as a thin thread of saliva connected them together before it too broke apart and disappeared. Their dazed eyes stared at each other in wonderment.

"You know," Tsugaru whispered as he leaned his forehead against Psyche's and smiled softly, "I think I might feel more than like towards you."

Psyche blushed profusely, though his heart soared in his chest, swelling with so many emotions. He returned Tsugaru's smile and placed his hand on Tsugaru's cheek, "You know…I think I might feel more than like towards you too."

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><p>Karisawa Erika never thought it was easy being the only daughter of one of the powerful Awakusu-kai executives. Since ever Akabayashi adopted her when she was a young girl of five years, she had expectation after expectation put on her.<p>

She had to stand tall and proud. She had to walk straight and with grace. She had to always think carefully before she spoke and speak with the modesty of a chaste lady yet with the hard cruelness that suited the yakuza. She had to know how to dance, arrange flowers, fix tea, and also kill a man without a sound. She had to care and protect her husband from all harm and follow the Awakusu-kai ways. She was expected to fulfill all of this and then some. It was quite tiring, but she could do it.

Because she never wanted to disappoint Akabayashi, who had been her saving grace. He had saved her from a horrid orphanage she had been put in after her family died in a fire. Everyone had thought she had been cursed, having been the only one that survived. Kids had made fun of her, the caretakers tried to avoid her, and she had been all alone in that orphanage. But one day Akabayashi just happened to stop by, in his dark suit and bright red shirt that matched his hair. The scar through his eye, the cane he held, and just the overall aura around him frightened the other kids and the caretakers. But Erika had been intrigued. She was the only one who approached him when he was introduced to the children.

Erika remembered how he looked down at her, at first looking intimidating, before he knelt down to be level with her and there was a soft smile on his face. He ruffled Erika's hair affectionately and asked her, "You look like a tough kid. How would you like to come home with me?"

Of course Erika had said yes. This was her chance to get away from this place, and this man seemed so kind. And he was. He treated Erika like a princess, loving her and showering her with tokens of affection. He was proud of her when Erika excelled in all her lessons, growing up to be perfect yakuza material. Erika once wondered why he chose to adopt her instead of marrying someone and having kids of his own. She even dared to ask him one day. But Akabayashi had just smiled sadly at her and ruffled her hair like he always did, saying to her, "Things just didn't work out."

Erika wondered what he meant by that but she never pried. But from then on she worked even harder to be a daughter Akabayashi could be proud of. She wanted to be worthy enough to be his real daughter. She did everything that was asked of her.

And then one day _he _came.

Erika remembered that day clearly. She had been ten years old. Akabayashi had interrupted her flower arranging lessons, which bored her to death, and appeared with a little blonde boy in tow. He was quiet, his eyes closed, and his mouth in a sad frown.

"Erika, this is Yumasaki Walker," Akabayashi told her as he urged the blonde boy forward. "He recently lost his parents to a fire as well, and one of my men has decided to adopt him. He thought you would like a friend."

Erika took in the sad boy's expression and couldn't help but sympathize with him as they were both orphans, their parents lost to fires. Erika smiled widely, trying to be encouraging, as she waved hello at the boy and asked in an excited voice, "Can I call you Yumachi?"

Her eyes shone with excitement and anticipation. This would be the first friend she made since her parents death. She was little nervous but excited at the prospect. The blonde boy at first looked a bit taken aback, but he slowly nodded his head with the smallest smile.

Erika then noticed that he was holding a book in his hands. "What's that?"

The boy showed it to her and Erika gasped with delight when she realized it was a Code Geass manga, one of her favorite series, "I love that manga! The anime was pretty awesome too, but I hated how they ended it! It was such a cliffhanger."

The boy nodded enthusiastically, his voice growing excited as well, "I totally agree with you! They have to make a new season now. Leaving it like that would be such a waste."

Erika smiled widely, nodding her agreement, and two suddenly dived into a conversation, talking about different manga and anime series and sharing their thoughts. They had hardly noticed when Akabayashi had left them alone, letting them get to know each other.

That was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

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><p>"What!" Erika exclaimed as she looked at her father incredulously. "What do you mean marriage!"<p>

"Erika," Akabayashi warned in a low tone and the brunette blushed when she realized she had just acted undignified.

"I'm sorry," Erika quickly atoned. "It's just that…aren't I a bit too young for marriage?"

"You're already twenty-two-years old, how much longer do you intend to wait?" Akabayashi raised an eyebrow in question as he leaned forward and threaded his fingers together. "Besides, this marriage is for the better for the Awakusu-kai family."

"May I ask who is my fiancé?" Erika wondered as she nervously twisted her hands together.

"His name is Tsugaru. He's the adopted son of Shiki-no-danna. I don't believe you've met Tsugaru before, but you've meet Shiki-no-danna when you were a little girl. He's been my friend for a long time now," Akabayashi chuckled to himself before he continued to explain. "Anyway the head of the Awakusu-kai family believes your marriage to Tsugaru will help strengthen family ties since the two of you are the heirs to the two most powerful branches of the Awakusu-kai."

"But what about—" Erika started only to stop when she realized that her words wouldn't matter. Yakuza didn't care really for personal matters. The family is always what came first. _What about my feelings?_ She clenched her hands tight as she glanced to the right of her father.

Walker stood behind Akabayashi—as he had learned to take over for his father as a guard—trying to look emotionless like he was supposed to. But having been best friends for twelve years, Erika knew he was hiding how he felt. She could see the slight tightness in his eyes and the small grimace on his face. He wasn't pleased with the news either. After all, the two of them had progressed from friendship to a deeper relationship years ago. Erika had thought it would be easy to convince Akabayashi to accept her relationship with Walker because throughout the years Akabayashi had made it obvious that he had a soft spot for Walker. He treated Walker like he was his own son. But then this had happened…

"No buts, Erika," Akabayashi had a strict frown on his face. "This marriage is final."

Erika wanted to protest. She wanted to kick and scream and say that this wasn't fair. But she couldn't. She couldn't disobey and disappoint Akabayashi. She was his daughter. His perfect daughter.

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><p>Every morning he woke up to was beautiful, as he was able to watch the sun rise from his room, but those mornings paled drastically in comparison to this morning. Tsugaru leaned his head against his hand as his arm was propped up on a pillow. He smiled lovingly at the sleeping, peaceful face across from his. Psyche's body was curled up, his arms cradled close to his chest as he breathed steadily. The sun streamed in from a window and splayed across Psyche's pale skin beautifully, almost making him glow.<p>

"Cute," Tsugaru whispered as he smiled. He moved slowly to get out of the bed so he didn't disturb its other occupant. But the moment he was off of it, the raven's face scrunched up in displeasure and Psyche made a slight whimpering noise, reaching out for something. Tsugaru felt his face heat up with happiness, his heart thumping in excitement as he placed his hand over his eyes, not able to take the sight completely. "Maybe a little bit too cute."

The blonde smiled, moving to sit back down on the bed and softly running his fingers through Psyche's hair. This seemed to calm the raven as Psyche sighed happily and drifted back off to peaceful sleep. Tsugaru chuckled, "You are a bit too unguarded." His eyes softened as he looked down at Psyche. It was funny that they had just met for real for the first time yesterday. This seemed too natural. They seemed to act like a couple that had known each other for ages instead of a day. Is this what people meant when they talked about soulmates? This instant connection?

Tsugaru pondered on the thought for a moment before the sound of his cell phone ringing broke him from it. He quickly answered it, relieved to see that Psyche was a deep sleeper. "Hello?"

"_Tsugaru-sama, where are you? Shiki-sama has been trying to get a hold of you all night._"

Tsugaru pulled away from his phone to see that he had over fifteen missed calls. That wasn't good. "I'm sorry. I was out late so I stayed overnight at a friend's place."

"_I see,_" the subordinate on the other line said. "_But Shiki-sama requests that you return home immediately. There are important matters he needs to discuss with you._"

"Right now?" Tsugaru mumbled as he turned back to see Psyche still sleeping peacefully. He kind of wanted to be here when the raven awoke.

"_Yes, Tsugaru-sama. Where are you right now? I'll send a car to pick you up._"

Tsugaru sighed in defeat, knowing that they'd find him eventually. Shiki had a very talented informant friend who could probably find Tsugaru in seconds with no trouble at all. The blonde rattled off the address of a place nearby—not wanting the men to know exactly where Psyche lived—and was told a car would be there in ten minutes. Once Tsugaru hung up the phone he turned back to look at Psyche wistfully.

"Sorry," he whispered as he kissed Psyche's forehead. He then quickly scribbled a note and left it on the nightstand for Psyche to find later before he left the apartment, really wishing he could still be beside the raven.

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><p>Shiki was upset. Actually, that wasn't the right word. Shiki was furious. Tsugaru knew he was. Because whenever Shiki got angry, instead of blowing up and yelling like some people would, Shiki got quieter. He wasn't one to blow up with his emotions. He was one who sat, stewed, and then struck out harshly. Like a snake who lied in wait for its prey.<p>

"Where were you all night, Tsugaru?" Shiki asked calmly as he placed his chin on his intertwined fingers, his arms propped up on his desk. His eyes were slits and cold as his mouth was in a firm, upset line. It was somewhat odd to see Shiki like this, as Shiki usually never got angry with Tsugaru.

"I was at a friend's place," Tsugaru calmly answered. He knew it wasn't a good idea to show that he was a bit afraid of Shiki right now. An angry Shiki was a mysterious Shiki; one never knew what he was going to do.

"A friend you say?" Shiki murmured, his voice low. "And just who is this friend? You never really made such close friends before."

"Just a friend," Tsugaru innocently said.

"Have I ever met this friend?" Shiki questioned as he leaned back in his chair.

"No," Tsugaru replied. "But I hope one day you will."

"Hm," Shiki mused, his eyes still suspicious. "It would do best for you to call the next time you want to stay out late."

"Yes, I'm sorry Shiki-san," Tsugaru bowed apologetically.

Shiki then smiled a bit, "That aside, I have someone for you to meet, Tsugaru."

"Who?" Tsugaru wondered, turning slightly as he heard the door click as it was opened. He turned around fully with a shocked look as he saw a dark-eyed young woman step in. She was dressed in little black dress, her long black hair pinned up in a stylish updo, and she smiled politely at Tsugaru. Tsugaru felt his stomach drop, the lingering happy feelings he had from his date last night disappearing in a flash. "Shiki-san, this is…"

"This is your fiancée, Karisawa Erika," Shiki suddenly appeared behind Tsugaru, clapping his hand on the blonde's shoulder. He whispered his next words to Tsugaru alone so Erika wouldn't hear, "I hope that friend of yours is just that. Because this is the woman you're going to marry, Tsugaru."

Tsugaru wondered if there was someone out there he had angered in his life. Someone who asked some god to make Tsugaru's life a living hell. Because if that wasn't it, destiny sure screwed up some things.

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><p><strong>I'm sorry it's not longer guys. T_T I wanted to make it longer, I swear, but I don't have the time right now to lengthen it. I was thinking about saving this for later but then you guys would have had to wait over two weeks for me to update. O_O So I decided to post this to tide you guys over till the end of next week at least. <strong>

**And on that note, I won't be able to update till after next week guys! I have two papers and a crapton of art homework due so I'll be very busy with very little time leftover to write. I'll try to write when I can but just wanted to give you guys a heads up that the next update will take a bit longer than usual.**

**On a more happy note, I will tell you guys I have decided to make Izaya appear (for real) in this story~! This will be his first physical appearance ever! I'm not sure if he'll appear next chapter but he'll definitely appear for sure so watch out for him. :D**

**Ohhh, and another bonus, because you awesome reviewers have gotten me to **_**over 128 reviews**_** to this story(!), I have decided whoever is reviewer 150 will get a gift oneshot that I'll add on to the very end of this entire story as an extra. It can be about any Shizaya pairing the reviewer likes. :D I'm also willing to do other Durarara pairings as long as they're characters I have mentioned in this entire story (as I know these characters relatively well enough to write them). Reviewer can also give me a general plotline of the oneshot and/or anything they want added if they like. ^^ If reviewer 150 turns out to be an Anon, the gift oneshot will go to the next signed reviewer (because I can't message anon reviews sadly :(.)**

**Also, thanks so much guys for reading and reviewing! I love you guys and appreciate your encouraging words!**

**-Xaleria**


	13. Tsugaru & Psyche 4

**Thank you guys for being so patient for this chapter! Here it is, I hope you like it. :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters.**

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><p><strong>Tsugaru &amp; Psyche<strong>

"Psyche? Hello, Psyche, are you listening to me?" Hibiya narrowed his golden eyes suspiciously at his twin brother, crossing his arms across his chest. The two of them sat outside of La Petite Étoile, having a midday snack. Hibiya had invited his brother out as a peace offering of sorts, deciding to treat him normally and get past their love triangle fiasco. But Hibiya had thought it was weird though when he went to pick up his brother and found Psyche all dreamy eyed, a piece of paper clutched in his hands as he sighed wistfully. Hibiya had also thought it was weird how quiet Psyche was as they walked to the café. He knew that Psyche still must be upset over the whole Delic thing, but it was still odd for his brother to be this quiet.

The pink eyed raven currently had a silly smile on his face as he sometimes giggled over something he was thinking about. "Psyche!"

Seeming to snap out of his daze and finally realize that Hibiya was right there, Psyche blinked questionably at him, "What Hibi-nii?"

"What's got you all happy?" Hibiya muttered as rolled his eyes. "You haven't been listening to a word I've said have you?"

"Not really," Psyche blushed as he looked at his hands that he folded together in his lap. There was a slight moment of silence between the two of them.

Hibiya could feel the irritation boiling in his veins as he took in a deep breath and let it out to remain calm. "So?"

"So?"

"So what are you all happy about?" Hibiya glared at his brother, like it was obvious that was what he was asking.

Psyche's face turned even redder. He shyly glanced at his hands that he twisted together nervously. "Um…well, Hibi-nii…" Hibiya sat there, a slight impatient look on his face. Psyche took in a deep breath for encouragement before he breathed out, speaking, "I actually met someone the other day…and I think I really like him."

Hibiya blinked once. Twice. Another time. His mouth opened and closed, words lost to him. His golden eyes widened with shock. But then his mouth suddenly curled into a wide smile. "That's great! Who is it? Have I met him before? Are you going to introduce us? Why didn't you say this sooner?"

Psyche's head spun with all the questions as he held up his hand to signal 'stop' to his brother. "Wait! I can't answer you all at once."

Hibiya frowned but stopped talking, leaning back in his seat. "Alright, so who is it?"

Psyche blushed once again as he spoke softly, "His name's Tsugaru."

"Hm, I've never met him have I?" Psyche shook his head no. "Well do you plan to introduce us sometime?" The prospect of that made Psyche smile dreamily again. Hibiya had to smile a little at that. He was glad to see that his brother seemed happy, and that he was putting what happened with Delic behind him. Delic had been right. Maybe Hibiya had been a bit too worried about Psyche. "I'm happy for you, Psyche. I really am."

"Thank you, Hibi-nii," Psyche smiled widely. "Maybe next time you, Deli-nii, me, and Tsugaru could have a double date."

"Yeah, maybe," Hibiya chuckled, knowing in the back of his head Delic would protest about their time together being invaded by other people.

The two brothers then began to lapse back into normal, casual conversations that the two of them hadn't had in a long while. Not since they both fell in love with the same guy. It was nice, feeling like real brothers again as they argued over things they thought differently on and sympathized with each other on things they thought the same on.

Their conversation was only interrupted when Psyche's phone suddenly rang. The pink eyed raven smiled apologetically at his twin as he flipped open his phone and read a new text message. His smile then widened and Hibiya had an idea of who sent the message. "Have to go?" Hibiya questioned rhetorically as Psyche already stood up from his chair.

"Yeah, sorry Hibi-nii! I swear I'll make it up to you!" Psyche said as he began to run off.

"You better!" Hibiya called out after him, shaking his head with a chuckle as he sat back in his seat. There was a content smile on his face, happy that everything seemed to be working out for his brother.

Little did Hibiya notice the sly smile of a man sitting behind him. "So that's Psyche," the man murmured as he shut his phone, his scarlet eyes looking at the direction where the pink-eyed young man had run off to. "Cute kid. Just your type, Tsu-chan."

The man chuckled as he put down his tea cup next to the some photos that were laid out. The pictures were candid shots. In one there was a tall, blue-eyed blonde walking with a pink-eyed raven as they smiled at each other. In the other there was a dark haired young woman and blonde young man walking hand in hand as they animatedly talked to each other. The scarlet eyed man smiled as he picked up the photos, "To think that the two heirs to the strongest branches in the Awakusu-kai have secret lovers. I wonder what I should do with tidbit of juicy information~!"

The smile on the man's face became somewhat saddened as he looked at the image of the blonde in the photo, "Ne, Tsu-chan, just how far would someone go for love?"

The man's scarlet eyes then turned to the glass windows of the café, landing on the tall blonde with coffee-colored eyes standing at bar, pouring a drink. The smile on his face became bitter before his eyes turned back to the photo. "Ne, Tsu-chan, would you do anything to save the one you love?" The man's scarlet eyes looked at the happy smile of the pink-eyed raven.

"Even if you have to break his heart?"

* * *

><p>Awkward was the only word to describe this situation. Tsugaru sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck as he walked slowly and looked around at everything but the young woman standing beside him. She too had quite a sullen expression and not as carefully hidden as Tsugaru's.<p>

Briefly Tsugaru peeked out of the corner of his eye at Erika and then sighed tiredly. He hadn't been expected Shiki to arrange a marriage for him, and now that he had found Psyche he was quite conflicted. He didn't want to disappoint Shiki, who had been a caring father figure to him for seventeen years, but he wasn't keen on the idea of marriage. But the idea of betraying Shiki and the Awakusu-kai family left him feeling guilt-ridden even though he hadn't done so yet. It just wasn't something he could imagine doing, but the thought of also having to leave Psyche, when they had finally just found each other, felt just as crushing.

Tsugaru let out another sigh, looking back towards Erika who also seemed dissatisfied with this.

"Ms. Karisawa," Tsugaru started to say just as Erika finally turned to him and said, "Tsugaru-san."

They both paused and then chuckled at their likeness. "You go first," Tsugaru offered politely to which Erika flashed him a grateful smile.

"I know it may not be…right to say this, but I don't want to marry you. I already love someone else." Well, she was very blunt.

But Tsugaru couldn't help but nod in agreement. "I have the same sentiment."

Erika sighed in relief as she smiled a bit more cheerfully, "I'm glad we're on the same page then. But our fathers…" Erika's expression grew sad as she seemed to think about something bad. Tsugaru felt uncomfortable, hating to see that look on the woman's face. She seemed like a decent person.

"It's okay," Tsugaru reassured as he comfortingly patted her back. "I'm sure we can figure out some way to convince them to call off the marriage."

"I suppose," Erika murmured dejectedly as her lip trembled slightly. "But father seemed so insistent, and I know that this is supposed to be for the betterment of the family. But I love my boyfriend so much, but I also can't stand the idea of betraying Akabayashi. He's the one who raised me, and I'm so grateful to him. The idea of me betraying him but rejecting this marriage…" Erika couldn't help the tears that welled in her eyes as she thought about how disappointed Akabayashi would look if he knew the truth.

Tsugaru grimaced. He hated watching people cry, especially since he understood exactly what Erika was talking about. He didn't want to disappoint Shiki, but he also loved Psyche. Sure, they hardly knew much about each other yet, but he was sure they were meant to be together. He just knew.

Not knowing to what to say as he watched Erika sob silently, Tsugaru just opted to hug her and rub her back soothingly, whispering, "It'll be okay. Please stop crying. We'll figure something out, I'm sure."

"Tsugaru?" Tsugaru stiffened as he recognized the voice. As he turned to look at the newcomer, his eyes widened and his mouth opened with shock.

"Psyche, what are you doing here!" The raven looked hurt and suspicious as his eyes flickered from the crying Erika to Tsugaru who held her in a more than friendly position.

"You texted me," his words sounded accusing as did his sharp eyes, stabbing Tsugaru with guilt in his heart. "Sorry that I've interrupted something important."

"Wait, Psyche, it's not—" But the raven had ran off with an angry and sad expression before Tsugaru could finish. "Psyche!"

Tsugaru looked torn as he wanted to run after Psyche but also felt like it was his duty to stay with Erika and make sure she was okay. Tsugaru turned to look back at the young woman who seemed just as shocked. She had stopped crying, and her eyes held a somewhat bright spark in them. "Was that your lover?" she asked in a quiet voice, her eyes shining with anticipation.

"Um, well," Tsugaru blushed. He hadn't thought he'd come out this soon to someone in the family. "Yes…"

"What are you standing around here for!" Erika surprised him with her sudden declaration as she pushed Tsugaru into the direction Psyche had ran off in. "Go after him!"

"Ah, but, you—" Tsugaru started to protest, thought part of him was already screaming at him to go after Psyche.

"You have to explain to him that what he saw meant nothing," Erika told him firmly. "And gosh dang it, if you come back without making up with him I swear I will beat you to death!"

Tsugaru had to smile at that. He found he liked Erika, even if he didn't love her. She was a funny sort of girl, and he felt they could be good friends. "Thank you, Ms. Karisawa," was all he said before he ran off after Psyche.

Erika watched him disappear, a happy look on her face before she squealed with delight. She pulled out her phone, quickly dialing a number and impatiently tapping her foot before the other person answered. She didn't even allow for him to greet her before she spoke, "YUMACHI! You wouldn't believe what I just saw! I SAW A REAL LIFE YAOI COUPLE! A REAL ONE! I CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW HAPPY I AM. I COULD DIE RIGHT NOW AND NOT CARE. MY LIFE IS COMPLETE." Erika paused as Walker spoke on the other line. She laughed. "No, Yumachi, I'm not going to die now." Another pause before Erika smiled widely, "Aww, are you jealous Yumachi?" Walker spoke again and said something that made Erika blush and smile like a crazy girl in love. "Don't worry, Yumachi~! You're the only one for me! Not even the hottest of yaoi couples could ever separate me from you~!"

Erika paused again as she smiled more softly this time. "Yeah, I love you too, Yumachi." Erika stopped once more as Walker asked her something. She laughed, "Yes, Yumachi, I love you more than I love my Sekaiichi Hatsukoi manga collection. But you have to admit that Ricchan and Takano make the cutest couple ever! And don't even get me started on the hotness that is Kisa and Yukina~!" Erika babbled on as she walked, smiling widely.

* * *

><p>He wasn't sure how, but somehow he knew that Psyche would come here. Tsugaru took in a deep breath and let it out as he smiled in relief at the sight of the pale, raven-haired young man curled up with his knees to a chest and a sullen look on his face. His pink eyes stared at the small stream weaving its way through the city, the grass billowing gently in the wind. A secret place that only the two of them knew about.<p>

"I'm sorry," Tsugaru said simply as he approached behind Psyche. The raven didn't answer him, though the tenseness in his shoulders slackened some.

"Who was she?" Psyche voiced softly as he pulled blades of grass from the ground.

Tsugaru paused, wondering if he should say the truth, but did he really want to lie? Didn't Psyche deserve better than that? So he told the truth, "My fiancée."

He saw Psyche's body stiffen again as his pink eyes tightened with emotion. "You never told me you were engaged," he muttered, his voice sad and bitter as tears pooled in the corner of his eyes.

"I didn't know until today," Tsugaru said softly as he sat next to Psyche. The raven looked at him with a slightly surprised expression as a few tears slipped down his cheeks. Tsugaru frowned and reached out to wipe them away. "My father's the one who arranged this marriage."

"What are you, some kind of rich heir?" Psyche mumbled as he pushed away Tsugaru's hands, though half-heartedly.

"Something like that," Tsugaru answered as he folded his arms on top of his knees.

"How much more are you hiding from me?" Psyche asked with a slight accusatory tone, his arms tightening their grip around his legs. "I just realized that I really don't know anything about you. I don't know your likes, dislikes, interests, favorite foods…I didn't even know you're apparently some rich heir with a fiancée! How am I supposed to trust what you say when we're technically complete strangers?"

He had a point, although hearing this from Psyche somewhat hurt Tsugaru. He wanted so badly for the raven to trust him, to depend on him, but at the same time Psyche was right. They hardly knew anything about each other, and maybe it was time to change that.

"My name is Tsugaru," Tsugaru started, surprising Psyche as the raven looked at him questionably, but he just continued, "I was born April 21. I'm an Aries. My blood type is O. My favorite color is blue. I hate bitter stuff. I like sweet stuff. My favorite food is flan. My least favorite is Brussels sprouts. My adoptive father is the one who's rich not me. Both of my real parents are dead. And I know I just met you a few days ago, but somehow that doesn't matter to me. I think—no," Tsugaru shook his head as he grasped Psyche's hand firmly and looked gravely into the raven's eyes to better convey his message, "I know that I love you."

Most might have thought it weird or even creepy to have someone confess such an outlandish thing so early in their relationship, but to Psyche it only made his heart swell with emotions as his cheeks heated up. He shyly looked at his feet although his fingers returned Tsugaru's hold by intertwining with the blonde's and clasping their hands together tightly. Psyche didn't even have to speak for Tsugaru to understand.

He loved him too. And right now, it was enough to know that.

* * *

><p>"See, I told you!" Psyche blushed as Erika elbowed the blonde sitting beside her, a sparkling look in her eyes. "They're really a couple! A real life BL couple!"<p>

"Sorry," Walker sighed, smiling apologetically to Tsugaru and Psyche. "She tends to get excited about these kinds of things."

"Ah, it's alright," Tsugaru coughed awkwardly. "But the reason I asked for this meeting was to discuss our…predicament, per se."

"Meaning, you don't want to marry me, and I don't want to marry you, so we have to convince our dad's that we want to stay with our respective lovers," Erika bluntly explained. She rolled her eyes as she sarcastically muttered, "Yes, this should be quite easy."

"Look, I know it may not be easy, especially with our type of relationships," Tsugaru admitted with a grimace. Shiki would probably not be happy to hear that his son's lover was another man, and Akabayashi would probably blow through the roof if he found out his daughter and her trusted guard were secretly seeing each other. Tsugaru knew it was just something that wouldn't be readily accepted by their family, but he could hope. "But it would be worse if we didn't try anything."

"I guess you're right," Walker said as he scratched his head in slight frustration. "But just how are we going to convince the family to accept us?"

Tsugaru and Psyche then looked at each other out of the corners of their eyes before Tsugaru smiled and turned back to Walker, "Well, you see Yumasaki-san, I was wondering…do you want to be an Awakusu-kai executive?"

Walker and Erika looked a bit taken aback by Tsugaru's statement before curious and knowing looks entered their faces.

"Do you really think this would work?" Erika said quietly though there was obvious excitement in her voice.

"Of course, I have the authority to name my own heir, so I will name Walker my heir," Tsugaru declared with an optimistic smile. "And if I suddenly disappear without a trace and they can't find me after a certain number of years, they'll have to declare me dead and let my heir take over. And they're not going to leave you without a husband. You'll have to marry the next heir."

"Which would be Walker," Erika breathed out as her eyes widened with enthusiasm. She looked to her side to Walker who also held a hopeful look on his face as he turned to Erika. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it lovingly as he smiled at her. Erika then turned back to Tsugaru, her expression determined, "It's worth a shot."

"Great!" Tsugaru smiled at his success in gaining Erika and Walker's approval. "What do you say we go out and celebrate?"

Everyone nodded in agreement and chatted casually with each other as they walked down the streets of Ikebukuro to have a meal at a Russia Sushi.

"So," Erika said with a sly smile on her face as she turned to Tsugaru and Psyche. "I'm guessing Tsugaru-san is the seme and Psyche-chan is the uke?"

Her statement left the said blonde and raven sputtering and red with embarrassment as Erika laughed gleefully, Walker only giving them a sympathetic smile.

* * *

><p>Horada grumbled to himself, "How the hell can we be at peace while our family struggles to regain power while that <em>other <em>family lives perfectly happy lives."

The brooding, sharp-eyed young man slicked back some stray strands of blonde hair before he stuck his hands back in his pockets and stomped through the streets. He was slightly more than pissed that his family had been shortchanged, despite the fact that they had tried to fight back against the Awakusu-kai. Their ambush had been successful on the executive that caused them so much pain, as the man and his wife had died, but the Awakusu-kai had steadily built itself back up from that loss while Horada's family still couldn't get past the bloodshed that had happened between them and the Awakusu-kai years ago.

"And now they're all getting ready for a marriage," Horada hissed as he spat on the ground in disgust. "I wish there was some way to ruin everything for them."

"And what if there was?"

"Who's there?" Horada barked out as he spun around, a knife out in his hands. A person clothed in a dark, fur-lined coat stepped from the shadows, a smirk on his face and his scarlet eyes glittering. "Who're you?"

"An information broker," the man simply answered as he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. "And I have quite the tidbit of information for you, but of course, at a price."

"How do I know I can trust you?" Horada question suspiciously as his eyes narrowed.

But the man just laughed, "Because without what I'm going to tell you, you will never be able to get the revenge you want on the Awakusu-kai."

Horada's interest was piqued as he pulled his knife back slightly. "Alright, I'll listen. What your price?"

"My price is very simple," the man said as he clasped his hands together behind his back. "I just want you to do whatever you want with what I tell you."

It seemed harmless enough, especially if the information was actually good. "Alright, I'll do it."

"Good," the man smiled wickedly as he flicked a pair of photos in Horada's direction. Horada caught it and looked down to see a pink-eyed raven walking with the son of Shiki of the Awakusu-kai, and a blonde man walking hand in hand with the daughter of Akabayashi of the Awakusu-kai. Horada's eyes widened as he realized what this was. He looked up at the man again, seeing the man just nod slightly in confirmation.

"Remember our deal, Horada-san," the man said as he wagged his finger back and forth.

"Oh I will," Horada smiled sinisterly as he tucked the photos into his pocket. "I will use this information as best as I can."

The man's scarlet eyes brightened at that prospect, "Good. Very good."

And then he disappeared back into the shadows from whence he came.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you so much again guys for waiting this long for this chapter! I'm sorry it took this long, but now that most of my major assignments are almost over I'll have more time to write! :) Also, I'm pretty sure I'll have Tsugaru and Psyche's story wrapped up in the next chapter or two (not sure yet if I'm going to split the chapter into two or not). After that it's [finally] Shizuo and Izaya's turn! :D<strong>

**And don't forget whoever is lucky signed reviewer 150 gets a gift oneshot from me at the end of this entire story~ ^^**

**Thank you for reading and reviewing guys! :D**

**-Xaleria**

**_Replies to Anonymous Reviews:_**

****So sorry these replies are so late! I wanted to reply to all the anon reviews after each chapter but then I'd forget, update, and then remember after I've already updated, then swear I'll do it next chapter, but then I forget again. XD But now I've replied to all of them (and if I happen to miss your anon review, I'm terribly sorry!).

**_Lalapoker_**_: _Thank you so much for constantly reviewing! :D Glad to know you're enjoying it. ^^ And I'm glad to see you could relate to Delic and Hibiya's story. And Erika is still a total fangirl as you can see in this chapter~ :) And I absolutely adore WalkerxErika so of course they're a couple in here. XD Haha.

**_Luna Takamarie:_**Thank you so much for your reviews! ^^ And I hope you enjoyed how Delic and Hibiya's story turned out. :D

**_Love6:_** Thank you for your reviews! I hope you continue enjoying the story~!

**_ForBiddenLoVe293:_**Glad you're still loving the story! :D And you're welcome for the fast updates, though sorry this one took a bit longer. Hope you enjoyed Delic's POV and thanks so much for the love! *hearts*

**_Blur-berry_****: **Glad you enjoyed that long chappie and my story! :D

**_NazuPiiiii_**: I'm sorry that I made you cry. XD I hope you enjoyed the ending of Delic and Hibiya's story though!

**_SparklySnickers:_** Thank you so much for the review and compliment! And I'm happy to see you thought the chapter was sweet! ^^

**_Ethereal Whisper:_** I can't for the life of me remember if I ever messaged you back for this review or not…but thank you so much for reviewing again! :D I'm glad you enjoyed the end of Delic and Hibiya's story especially the ChikagexKadota bit. ^^ And thank you so much for the luck on my tests! I did ace them and will continue to provide you with cute Shizaya stories! :)

**_GUESS WHO 8D_**: Thank you for the review and I'm glad my update made you happy. :D I'll keep on writing!

**_Nacchan Sakura: _**Good to see you again! :D Sorry I haven't messaged you a reply (or if my did, my memory is really bad and I can't remember doing so). But thank you for the review and I hope you enjoyed this update as well~! Heehee, and as you can see, she's still a pure fujoshi. :3

**_Shizaya fanboy lover_**: Thank you so much for your review! :D I'm glad you loved how I wrote the characters as I always try to do my best with them. I'm glad you enjoyed Tsuki and Roppi the most, as they're my favorite. X) I'm also glad I made your day! :D Thanks for reading it all in one go! And as you can see in this chapter, both Tsugaru and Erika are planning ways to escape their engagement although by the end of this chapter, obviously not everything will peachy keen. But I won't spoil it for you~! As for your requests, I am pleased to let you know there will be a Shitsuo/Sakuraya story (theirs will be after Shizuo and Izaya's). There will be more lemon! As *slight spoiler* there will be Shizuo and Izaya lemony goodness in the next story. :3 I'm not sure who you were referring to in the extra story, but no worries, all the couples eventually get together in these stories! :) I hope you enjoyed this update!


	14. Tsugaru & Psyche 5

**Congrats to Aeonora for being my 150th reviewer and winner of the gift oneshot! :D And thank you to everyone else who reviewed, you guys are just so awesome! ^^ It's all because of your guys' encouraging words that I was able to work on this chapter and get it to you early.**

**I hope you guys enjoy this pretty long chapter (though I guess it doesn't beat Delic's chapter. I don't think anything I write from now on will ever beat that chapter's length O_o). This is the end of Tsugaru and Psyche's story. Next chapter will finally be the beginning of the couple you've all been waiting for: the original Shizuo and Izaya! After them is Shitsuo and Sakuraya. So please look forward to it~! :)**

**Also, have a great Thanksgiving everyone!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters.**

* * *

><p><strong>Tsugaru &amp; Psyche<strong>

"What is the meaning of this, Tsugaru?" Tsugaru's blue eyes steadily looked at Shiki's sharp, dark ones, conveying his seriousness. Shiki sat on the couch, his legs crossed as well as his arms as he frowned at his adoptive son.

"It's simply a precautionary measure, Shiki-san," Tsugaru explained. "Seeing as Erika and I do not have an heir yet, wouldn't it be better to be safer than sorry by me naming an heir just in case something were to happen to me?"

"Yes, I see your point," Shiki nodded with acquiescence. "But naming a guard as your heir? A guard who isn't even of _our_ branch."

"But he will be once Erika and I marry," Tsugaru pointed out.

"He is still just a guard."

"A _trusted_ guard," Tsugaru emphasized. "Even Akabayashi holds Walker in high regard."

"You hardly even know the man," Shiki snorted.

"Yes, but Erika trusts him, Shiki-san, and I would prefer that if anything were to happen to me, Erika would be able to depend on someone she trusts rather than a complete stranger."

Shiki still seemed skeptical about the arrangement, his eyes narrowing suspiciously at Tsugaru. But the blonde kept a serious and earnest look on his face. Finally, Shiki sighed in defeat. "Alright, if that is what you want, Tsugaru, I will allow it."

Tsugaru beamed, silently cheering himself in his head, "Thank you, father."

For a moment, Shiki's gruff mask was dropped as he looked at Tsugaru in surprise, hearing the blonde call him father for the first time. Although he did his best to hide it, Tsugaru knew that Shiki was happy to hear that. "Don't think this means you can convince me of anything," Shiki grumbled as Tsugaru chuckled.

"Wouldn't think that at all," Tsugaru said as he stood up and left the room, waving goodbye to Shiki as he did so.

* * *

><p>"Eh? You want me to ask Kasuka for a favor for you?" Shizuo turned to look at his cousin with a confused expression, an unlit cigarette dangling from his mouth as he wiped some glasses dry.<p>

"Please, Shizuo," Tsugaru pleaded his cousin. "He has an apartment in Los Angeles, right? I just need someplace to stay until I can find a place of my own."

"But why are you going to Los Angeles anyway?" Shizuo asked as he put down the glass he had been drying, throwing the towel over his shoulder as he looked at his cousin seriously.

Tsugaru paused in thought for a moment, wondering it was okay to reveal his plan to Shizuo. But he figured that he could trust Shizuo to not tell anyone, and his cousin always wanted him to get away from the yakuza lifestyle anyway, so why would he protest against it? "Well, Shizuo, I happened to meet someone…" And then Tsugaru went on, telling Shizuo his story about meeting Psyche, the arranged marriage, the plan to escape it, and how he and Psyche would leave Japan.

Shizuo listened earnestly, seeming deep in thought as he considered Tsugaru's words. When Tsugaru finished speaking, Shizuo smiled broadly at him and clapped his cousin on the back, "Good for you, Tsugaru. I'm glad you're leaving that place. Being the head of a yakuza clan…it just doesn't suit you."

Shizuo then paused, taking the cigarette from his mouth before he spoke again. "I'll talk to Kasuka about letting you borrow his apartment," Shizuo told Tsugaru as the barista threw out the unlit cigarette into a trashcan. "I'm sure he won't mind."

Tsugaru smiled gratefully at his cousin, "Thank you, Shizuo."

"Hey, anything for family right?" Shizuo ruffled Tsugaru's hair affectionately.

"You're going to come to the wedding, right?" Tsugaru then inquired.

Shizuo laughed, throwing his head back as his bellowing voice filled the café, "Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss it for the world! Even if it's fake."

"Good," Tsugaru nodded his head, his eyes twinkling with mirth. "It would be nice to have someone supporting me there."

"You just make sure to do the same for me when it's my turn," Shizuo said as he resumed drying the glasses.

"Of course I will," Tsugaru seemed offended that Shizuo would think he wouldn't do so, though there was a joking smile on the blonde's face. "Whatever girl captures your attention must be really special, Shizuo."

"Yeah," the barista murmured as he smiled somewhat bitterly. "That girl really does gotta be pretty special."

Tsugaru seemed confused by his cousin's sudden change in mood, but as Shizuo moved slightly to the side and paid careful attention to his work, Tsugaru sensed it was something he didn't want to talk about. So he didn't mention it, instead going on to tell Shizuo what the wedding was going to be like.

"When is the wedding anyway?" Shizuo asked as he looked up from making a drink.

"The last Saturday of this month," Tsugaru grimaced slightly. "The family wanted to hold it as soon as possible."

Shizuo had a sympathetic look on his face, "Good luck."

Tsugaru chuckled softly, getting up from his seat on the bar signaling he had to go now. "Thanks. I'll need it."

* * *

><p>"Are you sure this is a good idea, Horada?" one guy asked, his eyes flickering nervously as he wrung his hands. "I mean, this is the Awakusu-kai we'll be going up against."<p>

"So what?" Horada growled as he glared the man, the guy flinching at the cold stare. "Are you really satisfied with sitting here and twiddling your thumbs, letting our family being pushed to near extinction while _those_ people are just as happy as can be? I don't know about you, but I hate that!"

There were some murmurs of agreement among the group of young men gathered by Horada. The blonde stood up on a platform, putting on foot up on a box and resting his arm on his leg. "Listen up! This Saturday will be the end of our family's plight! We'll take back what's rightfully ours from the Awakusu-kai and crush them! We will make them suffer as they have made us suffer!"

With each sentence the men got more heated up, cheering their agreements and nodding their heads enthusiastically. It had been a long while since any of them were able to be involved in a fight. Many of them still held grudges against the Awakusu-kai for various reasons.

"This will be our revolution!" Horada exclaimed. "Now who's with me!"

Most of the men cheered and held up their hands to proclaim their involvement. Horada smirked to himself in satisfaction. He was a natural born leader, wasn't he?

"Um, boss…"

"What?" Horada snapped as he turned to the man who had spoken.

The man didn't flinch but remained calm as he spoke, "Just what is our plan anyway?"

There was silence as all eyes turned to Horada. The man blinked, realizing he didn't make a concrete plan yet. He tried to cover it up though by being smooth, leaning back and pushing his hair back. "Well, you see, men…" he trailed off and tried to think. He then brightened as he remembered the photos he had, and the information it implied. He pulled the photos out of his pocket and held it up for the men to see. "I actually have come across some top secret information regarding the two heirs of the Awakusu-kai. Both of them have secret lovers."

"So are we going to kidnap them?" one guy asked.

"That's exactly what we're going to do!" Horada called out with excitement. It was a brilliant plan, and they could get a lot out of it. "We'll kidnap them on the wedding day and hold them for ransom! That way they have to stop wedding and we'll get money out of it. And while the family is in chaos over the kidnapping, that'll be the perfect time to attack them." Horada smiled wickedly at his devious plot. It was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

The men shouted their agreements with the plan. All they had to do was wait until the wedding…

* * *

><p>"Shouldn't you be heading home by now?" Psyche teasingly asked as he lightly swung his and Tsugaru's intertwined hands. "Aren't you getting married tomorrow?"<p>

Tsugaru groaned as he shook his head, "Don't remind me." The blonde then smiled before he tugged Psyche into his arms, holding onto the raven tightly. "I'd be much happier spending my time with you."

Psyche blushed but smiled happily as he wrapped his arms around Tsugaru's neck. "We'll be together soon enough."

Tsugaru sighed though, "Not as soon as I would like it." He looked down at Psyche, pushing some stray strands of hair out of the raven's face. "Have you already sold your apartment?"

Psyche nodded, "The new tenant is moving in next month."

Tsugaru smiled at that news, reaching down and chastely kissing Psyche on the forehead. "Thank you."

"For what?" an embarrassed yet happy Psyche asked with a slight confused look.

"For giving me a chance," Tsugaru smiled softly as he gently caressed Psyche's face. "If you had rejected me back when we first met…well, we wouldn't be here would we?"

Psyche's face became redder as he shyly looked at the ground, "I should be the one thanking you."

"For what?" Tsugaru questioned, this time being confused one.

Sneakily smiling, Psyche stood up on his toes and kissed Tsugaru softly on the lips, pulling away seconds later to see the blonde red up to his ears although the smile on his face was wide and deliriously happy. Psyche smiled softly at that look, "For loving me back."

"Of course," Tsugaru simply stated as he tightened his hold around Psyche. "Why wouldn't I love you back?"

Before Psyche could answer, Tsugaru had swept down and captured his lips, the blonde placing his hand under the raven's chin to tilt his face up. He had worked his tongue inside Psyche's mouth, tasting the slight peppermint flavor of the wet cavern. Their tongues were slow, gentle, yet loving as they caressed each other and tangled together. Psyche could feel his knees shaking and was glad Tsugaru was holding him up or else he'd fall. His hands worked their way from Tsugaru's neck to his hair, entangling themselves in the blonde locks. Psyche moaned lowly as Tsugaru did something with his tongue that made shivers run down the raven's back. A growl built in the back of Tsugaru throat as the two of them pulled apart for a moment to breathe before Tsugaru connected their lips again.

"Damn," Tsugaru hissed breathlessly when they pulled away again. Psyche trembled slightly in his arms, his face flushed, saliva moistening his pink lips, and a lustful look in his eyes. Tsugaru so badly wanted to drag the raven to the nearest hotel and show him just how much he loved the raven. The blonde groaned in sadness and annoyance, placing his forehead against Psyche's. "Why can't I spend the night with you?"

Psyche wanted to ask the same thing. His body still had pleasurable tremors running through it as his mind yelled at him to ask Tsugaru to stay with him. But they had to accomplish their mission. It wouldn't do to give up this far in. "No," Psyche was a bit upset with how weak his protest sounded. "You have to go home."

Becoming a bit more determined, the raven pushed himself away from Tsugaru, half of him craving the blonde's touch again. Tsugaru also knew what he had to do was important, although that didn't stop him from looking disappointed. "You're right," Tsugaru sighed in resignation. "But I'm going to miss you all the same."

Psyche couldn't hide his glee from hearing so. He kissed Tsugaru quickly as a consolation. "I'll miss you too."

The blonde groaned again as he gave Psyche one last, tight hug, "It's going to be a long day tomorrow."

"You'll survive," Psyche laughed.

"Barely," Tsugaru muttered before he quickly pecked Psyche on the nose. "Good night, my love."

He left afterwards, Psyche blushing as he murmured something about silly, sexy, blue-eyed blondes under his breath. He then turned and headed towards his apartment, the street lights of the city lighting up as darkness filled the sky.

Psyche sighed sadly as he reached his apartment door, searching for his keys in his jacket pocket. It felt so lonely without Tsugaru here. Psyche finally found his keys and unlocked his door, stepping inside his dark apartment and pulling off his shoes. But before he could finish the action the door slammed shut and Psyche only had a second to yelp before strong arms grasped him and hand clasped over his mouth, muffling his screams.

"Word of advice," a voice whispered in his ear. "It's not a smart idea to put a spare key above your door."

Psyche tried to thrash about and fight back, but there was suddenly a chemical smell filling his nostrils that made him drowsy. His actions became sluggish as his eyes began to droop. He could faintly hear someone hissing, "Hurry up and tie him up!"

_Tsugaru_, Psyche tried to call out for help. He wasn't sure if he spoke out or not. His was getting dizzy now, and he could barely keep his eyes open. He felt someone's hands grab him roughly as his hands were tied together. His consciousness was now fading out, and the need to sleep overwhelmed him.

_Tsugaru,_ Psyche thought one last time before he blacked out completely.

* * *

><p>"Looking sharp there, cuz."<p>

"Shizuo!" Tsugaru cried out in relief as he went to hug his cousin. The barista had pretty much dressed up his usual white button down shirt and black slacks he wore to work, adding a black vest, red tie, and a black blazer. Tsugaru, on the other hand, was decked out in traditional Japanese wedding attire. His montsuki kimono was baby blue in color tucked into white hakama pants. His haori was also white, with blue bubbles decorating it around the upper chest. The Awakusu-kai family crest was imprinted on the left and right on the haori.

And while dressed nice it was obvious that Tsugaru was a basketful of nerves. He tapped his foot impatiently and kept looking around as if he expected someone to pop out and proclaim that he knew what Tsugaru was up to. Shizuo just shook his head and patted his cousin on the back, waking Tsugaru up from whatever crazy situation he had thought up. "It's going to be alright, Tsugaru. Just relax."

"Sorry," Tsugaru apologized as he smiled sheepishly. "I'm just…worried, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," Shizuo said as he reached in his pocket and pulled out a carton of cigarettes. After getting a glare from Tsugaru though, the blonde sighed and put it away. "I wasn't going to light it," he muttered.

"You should really quit that habit," Tsugaru said pointedly but Shizuo just rolled his eyes at him and muttered something under his breath. Tsugaru opened his mouth to say something else when there was loud clamor from outside that made both the blondes look at the door.

It slid open, revealing a distressed Erika as maids ran after her, claiming she'd ruin her beautiful dress. "FUCK THE DRESS!" Erika barked at the maids as she glared at them. She then turned back to Tsugaru, a desperate look in her eyes. "Tsugaru! Something's wrong! I can't find Walker anywhere and I can't get a hold of him on his cell!"

"What?" Tsugaru exclaimed in confusion. In the past month in getting to know the blonde guard, Tsugaru had discovered that before anything else, Walker always put Erika first. So it was a bit surprising to hear that Walker wasn't answering her calls. But why would Walker be missing? He wasn't anyone important to the wedding, if this was about a grudge with the Awakusu-kai. The only thing he would be incriminating for was using him against Erika…

A bad feeling suddenly grew in the pit of Tsugaru's stomach then as he grabbed his cell phone off a table, quickly dialing a number. "Come on, come on," Tsugaru muttered as it kept ringing.

"_Hello?_" Tsugaru brightened up and was about to speak before the next words crushed his hope. "_You've reached Psyche. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now. Just leave me a message and I'll get back to you._" There was a beep signaling the start of the recording and Tsugaru slammed his phone shut with frustration.

"Tsugaru, what's going on?" Everyone turned towards the doorway as Shiki and Akabayashi appeared, frowns apparent on their faces. Tsugaru and Erika eyed each other warily, unsure of what they should say.

"It seems that their most important people are missing."

Everyone turned to the new voice to see a raven with bright scarlet eyes and a cattish smirk on his face sitting on the window sill, the window pushed open. Everyone then turned to the sound of something breaking as they turned to Shizuo and saw that the blonde had punched through a drawer stand. "I-ZA-YA-KUN~!" he growled as he moved to pick up the drawer stand to hurl at the newcomer.

"Shizuo! Stop!" Tsugaru called out, his cousin stopping in his tracks only slightly although he glared hatefully at Tsugaru for stopping him.

"Yeah, Shizu-chan~" Izaya snickered as he hopped inside the room. "After all, I have important information for these two." He nodded in the direction of Tsugaru and Erika.

"What are you talking about?" Erika demanded as she narrowed her eyes at Izaya. "Do you know something about Walker?"

"Perhaps," Izaya chuckled, his smirk devious. But suddenly the raven was thrown up against a wall, an arm held firmly against his neck and blue eyes glaring at him dangerously.

"Where are they?" Tsugaru snarled. "I know you know where they are!"

Despite the fact that he didn't have the upper hand here, Izaya still smirked and answered Tsugaru calmly, "They've been kidnapped by a guy named Horada. He belongs to the family that the Awakusu-kai fought with seventeen years ago."

"You still haven't told me where they are," Tsugaru said as he put more pressure on his arm against Izaya's neck. The raven winced slightly but still did not let it affect him greatly.

"Horada is holding them in an abandoned warehouse in downtown Ikebukuro," Izaya told him. "You'll recognize it right away because it's the only one that's bright pink."

Tsugaru gave Izaya one last warning glare before he let the man go and began to storm out the room.

"Tsugaru, where are you going?" Shiki demanded but Tsugaru ignored him.

"You better hurry up, Tsu-chan~!" Izaya's voice called out after him. "There's no telling what Horada will do to him because of his ties to you!"

Hearing that urged Tsugaru on as he began to run, cursing the stiffness of his rented clothes but knowing he didn't have time to change. "Tsugaru! Wait, I'm going with you!" Erika ran after him, her hair disheveled as well as the under kimono she had been dressing into prior to finding out about Walker's disappearance.

"I don't think that's safe, Erika. You shouldn't come." Tsugaru commented as he dashed through the hallways of the Awakusu-kai home, making his way to the main gate and getting a car.

"The hell I'm not!" Erika glared at Tsugaru, walking in pace with him. "My boyfriend has also been kidnapped, not just yours!"

Tsugaru frowned a bit still but nodded, "You're right. I'm sorry, Erika."

Erika seemed satisfied before she pulled out her cell phone and began dialing some number, "Hello Dotachin? Can you gather up the gang? I need some help."

* * *

><p>Psyche groaned. His head was throbbing painfully and he felt like throwing up. His arms and legs felt numb and his side felt very sore. He was not a happy camper at the moment. "Psyche?" a voice whispered, breaking Psyche from his confusion as he stirred. "You okay?"<p>

"Walker-san…?" Psyche moaned as his eyes cracked open slowly. The first thing he saw was the blonde guard looking worriedly down at him, and Psyche flinched as he wondered how much the bruises and cuts scattered about the blonde's skin hurt. "What happened to you?"

"They roughened me up a bit," Walker shrugged then winced at the action. "But it's alright. I've had worse."

"Where are we? What happened?" Psyche questioned as he sat up, the panic finally settling in. "The last thing I remembered was someone grabbing me inside my apartment and…" Psyche blushed slightly, remembering how he had tried to call out for Tsugaru.

Walker either didn't notice or was too polite to comment on it as he told Psyche what he understood so far, "We've been kidnapped, most likely by a rival group of the Awakusu-kai."

Psyche took in a deep breath. He had been a bit shocked when Tsugaru finally admitted he was part of the yakuza. But Tsugaru had told him he wanted to leave it and just be with Psyche. Psyche had been content with that. He hadn't thought Tsugaru's background would affect him. Boy, was he wrong. "What do they want with us?" Psyche quietly asked.

"Mostly likely money," Walker said as he leaned back, hissing when his tender wounds touched the cool steel wall. "They probably found out how we're connected to Erika and Tsugaru-san and are ransoming us."

"B-but how?" Psyche exclaimed, his eyes widening with shocked. He had thought they had been so good at hiding their relationship.

"I'm not sure," Walker murmured as he frowned. "Probably from an informant of some kind. Look, Psyche, we nee—" Before Walker could finish the door to the room they were locked in was thrown open, the door banging loudly against the wall causing Psyche to jump slightly while Walker glared up at their captor. The two of them looked up at the blonde man that smiled wickedly down at them.

"It looks like Sleeping Beauty finally woke up," Horada sneered, leering at Psyche.

Psyche already hated this man as the raven frowned and his eyes narrowed to glaring slits. Horada disliked that defiant look on his face and resolved to bending down and slapping the raven rather harshly that Psyche was pushed back to the ground, his left side scraping against the rough ground. Walker cried out in protest and tried to move but was suddenly detained by two more men who appeared from the doorway, pushing Walker to ground and laughing as they kicked him repeatedly.

"Stop it!" Psyche cried out as he pushed himself back up. There was the coppery taste of blood in his mouth as his dry lips had cracked and his cheek stung like hell, but he stared determinedly up at Horada as he declared, "If you hurt him badly, the Awakusu-kai won't pay you the ransom money."

Horada frowned, seeing the logic of Psyche's argument, and motioned for the guys to stop. They did, only after giving Walker one last kick in the gut for good measure. The blonde grimaced but made no sounds besides coughing up a bit of blood. "You better be glad you have him around," Horada said to Walker as he jerked his head into Psyche's direction. "Or you might be dead."

Horada then brightened with an idea as he suddenly reached down and grabbed Psyche by the scruff of his jacket. "Well, while _he_ might be of some value to the Awakusu-kai, I know that you have no ties to them besides the fact that you're the lover of Shiki's heir. You technically have no value, especially since Tsugaru has yet to inherit and gain access to the Awakusu-kai money. So I don't think it would matter if we hurt _you_ instead."

There was a moment of panic and fear that made Psyche's heart stop, but the raven didn't want to seem weak. He shouldn't be pathetic. He should be confident and fight back, that's what Tsugaru would have done. So he willed away the feelings of fear and hoped he had a strong, confident expression in his eyes are he looked at Horada squarely in the eye, "Fine. I'm not afraid of you."

"Psyche—!" Walker called out in warning, but was shut up when one the men kicked him into silence and then proceeded to gag him. Horada rolled his eyes in their direction and then turned to glare at the insolent look in Psyche's eyes.

"Cheeky brat, aren't you," Horada muttered as he whipped out a knife and slashed Psyche across the cheek in one swift motion. The small cut started to bleed but the still rebellious look in Psyche's eye angered Horada. His show of power wasn't frightening this kid like he hoped it would and that pissed him off. He suddenly smirked though as he gripped the knife in his hand, "Let's see if we can't make you scream."

Horada then stabbed downward, the knife cutting through the white fabric of Psyche's jacket and becoming embedded deep in his shoulder. The raven's eyes widened in pain and in the first few seconds he opened his mouth to scream but managed to stop himself before he did. He didn't want to give Horada the satisfaction of accomplishing what he wanted to. So Psyche settled on biting his to force the screams of pain back, biting down so hard that he tore the skin on his lips and it began to bleed. His body trembled slightly and he winced as Horada pulled out the knife slightly, only to slam it back in and twist in painfully. Psyche still held back his screams, but his body couldn't take it and he collapsed to the ground, his body writhing in pain. But Horada was still dissatisfied with the fact that Psyche wouldn't scream. He moved to kick and beat up Psyche, but was interrupted when one of his henchmen burst into the room, panic evident on his face. "Boss! We're being attacked!"

"What?" Horada snarled as his attention was deterred. He looked back at Psyche once more with the hateful glare before he 'tched' and walked out the door with his henchmen, leaving Walker and Psyche alone in the room again.

Psyche breathing was labored now as sweat perspired on his forehead. He groaned slightly as he rolled over on his back, blood soaking through his white jacket and dripping to the ground, the knife still protruding from his shoulder. _It hurts…_

"Psyche? Psyche, are you alright?" Walker's voice broke through his hazed thoughts. Suddenly Walker appeared beside him, free of his bonds and a worried look on his face. "You shouldn't have done that. I can take pain."

"If I didn't distract him," Psyche moaned slightly as he winced when Walker made him sit up. "You wouldn't have been able to free yourself, would you?"

"How did you know what I was doing?" Walker asked with a genuinely surprised look on his face as he worked on untying Psyche.

"That's what they do in action movies, right?" Psyche sighed in relief as Walker finished untying his arms and legs, the blood rushing back to them.

Walker just chuckled and shook his head slightly, his expression darkening as he saw Psyche's wound. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Hey, it's okay," Psyche joked with a weak smile. "I can brag about my battle scars."

Walker smiled politely though his face was still grim, "Tsugaru's going to kill me for allowing you to get hurt."

"I'll make sure he doesn't," Psyche murmured as his eyes drooped slightly. He was beginning to feel dizzy and light. He wondered if it was from the blood loss.

"Look, Psyche, I'm going to have to take out the knife to wrap your wound," Walker told him as he worked on tearing up strips of Psyche's long coat. "This might hurt."

Psyche just numbly nodded, knowing it needed to be done. But that didn't stop the grimace on his face as he bit his lip again, his body trembling slightly as Walker pulled the knife out. Once the knife was out, blood gushed through the open wound and Walker quickly worked in tying it off. Blood still soaked through the white fabric but at a slower rate than had they just left it.

"We need to get out of here, while Horada and his men are distracted," Walker explained as he helped Psyche stand up. "The ones attacking them might be the Awakusu-kai, but if it's not, we should still take this opportunity to run away."

Psyche nodded his agreement and allowed Walker to be his support as they both quietly made their way to the door and peeked out. The warehouse was in complete chaos, with people fighting against Horada's men wildly. Psyche didn't recognize any of them, but was glad they seemed to be on their side.

"Walker!" a voice suddenly shouted out, making the two turn towards it.

"Dotachin?" Walker called out questionably. "What the heck are you doing here?"

"Erika called me," Kadota walked up to them, surprised when he saw who Walker was toting around. "Psyche?"

"Dotachin? What're you—" but Psyche stumbled slightly making Walker and Kadota move quickly to support him. "What's going on?"

"Your rescue, now let's go," Kadota muttered as he quickly moved Walker and Psyche out of the warehouse, warding off anyone who tried to stop them.

They finally made it to sort of dark gray green van where a brunette man sat in the driver's seat, nodding to Kadota. Kadota and Walker helped Psyche inside.

"Wait here," Kadota told them although Walker shook his head.

"Like hell I'm staying here! Erika's out there! I want to help," Walker grumbled as he moved to join Kadota. The serious brunette looked to be considering it before he sighed in defeat and allowed Walker to join him. They left Psyche with the driver of the van, Togusa, Psyche later found out. Psyche wished he could help but the blood loss was definitely getting to him as his eyes dropped dangerously low. Psyche wasn't sure when he drifted out of consciousness.

* * *

><p>Why was it that the ones he loved always got hurt because of him? First his parents, who died protecting him, and now Psyche, who had been hurt because of who he was.<p>

Tsugaru miserably placed his face in his hands, sitting outside across from the door of a hospital room. He was too afraid to go in and see Psyche like that. Hooked up to an IV, the bandages wrapped around his arm and shoulder, and the scars and bruises over his skin.

This wasn't meant to happen. Psyche wasn't meant to get hurt.

"You!" a voice hissed breaking Tsugaru from his thoughts. The blonde was shocked to see an identical reflection of Psyche, only with golden eyes, storming up to him, fury evident on his face. "This is your fault!"

The raven tried to lash out at Tsugaru but was stopped when a tall blonde with pink eyes similar to Psyche's reached out and grabbed him, pulling him away from Tsugaru. "Hibiya, stop it," the pink-eyed blonde chided. "It's not his fault."

"Like hell it isn't, Delic!" the raven, Hibiya, snapped as he glared up at the blonde, Delic, who held him. "It's his fault that Psyche was kidnapped in the first place! If he wasn't involved with the yakuza—"

"Hibiya," Delic started, but stopped when Tsugaru stood up, smiling sadly at the two of them.

"No, he's right," Tsugaru told them. "This is my fault." Tsugaru suddenly bowed very deeply to them, Delic and Hibiya looking shocked and suddenly embarrassed. "I am truly sorry. But don't worry, I won't approach Psyche again after this." Tsugaru stood back up, his eyes tight and hurt as he forced himself to smile. "Please tell him to not contact me."

And before Hibiya and Delic could say anything else, Tsugaru walked away, the weight on his shoulders feeling heavier with each step. As Tsugaru finally made his way past the automatic doors of the hospital and stepped outside, he took in a deep breath and let it out, looking up at the sky bitterly.

"Do you really think he'll be better off without you?" Tsugaru turned his head to the side slightly and narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Izaya who leaned against the wall of the hospital building, his head turned slightly towards Tsugaru as and his eyes curiously looked at the blonde.

"He will be," Tsugaru muttered as he stuck his hands into his pockets. "Being with me will only hurt him more."

"And you don't think he's strong enough to handle it?" Izaya said as he tucked his hands into the pockets of his furry jacket. "If you really think that way, you're more foolish than I thought, Tsu-chan."

Before Tsugaru could ask him what he meant, Izaya had already started walking off in a random direction. Tsugaru stared after him with a confused frown on his face, the raven's words echoing in his mind.

_You're more foolish than I thought._

* * *

><p>"Are you sure about this, Tsugaru?" Shiki asked as he threaded his fingers together and rested his chin on them. "You know you don't have to do this."<p>

"Didn't you want me to?" Tsugaru muttered. "Why are you protesting now? I thought you always wanted me to take over for you one day. And now I'm saying I will, but I won't marry Erika. She told me she loves someone else, and I'd rather not get in the way of her happiness. I'll marry anyone else you want me to."

"I see," Shiki murmured as he leaned forward. "Tsugaru?"

"Yes, Shiki-san?"

"Are you sure there isn't someone else you'd rather be with?" Tsugaru looked at his adoptive father with slight surprise on his face before he became impassive once again.

"Yes, I'm sure."

Shiki frowned before he sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Alright then. But Tsugaru," Tsugaru stopped in his tracks from when he began moving to leave. "I hope you remember that before I'm an Awakusu-kai executive, I am still your father. And I just want you to be happy."

Tsugaru had never heard such words from Shiki before, and hearing them caused his heart to swell with emotion as the tiniest of soft smiles graced his face. "Thank you…father."

* * *

><p><em>It hurts,<em> Psyche thought with a grimace. His shoulder burned and itched like hell. He wanted to scratch it so badly, but he couldn't move his arms far enough without something tugging on them. Just where the hell was he anyway?

"Delic, I think he's awake!" _Hibi-nii?_

Psyche opened his eyes slowly as he looked around the room, seeing his brother Hibiya and Delic standing next to his bed, relieved looks on their faces. "Hibi-nii? Deli-nii?"

"I'm so glad you're okay, Psyche!" Hibiya cried out as he hugged his brother tightly. "What the hell were you thinking, antagonizing your kidnapper into stabbing you!"

"But I wanted to…" Psyche started slowly, his eyes still searching around the room for a blue-eyed blonde. _I wanted to be strong…for Tsugaru._ "Where's Tsugaru?"

Hibiya suddenly became quiet and his face emotionless while Delic looked slightly apologetic. "Hibiya sort of sent him away."

"What, why?" Psyche became panicked, moving slightly and cursing when he tugged on various strings attached to him.

"Because it's his fault you got hurt, Psyche!" Hibiya insisted angrily as he crossed his arms. "It doesn't matter anyway, I'm not the one who sent him away, he left on his own. He said he wouldn't come near you anymore."

"But—but," Psyche's head was spinning with confusion. Why did Tsugaru leave him? Didn't Tsugaru say he loved him? Why would he abandon him? Why?

But before Psyche could recover from this news, the door was thrown open and in burst Erika with a slightly angered look on her face. "Psyche-chan! You've got to do something about this!"

"Erika-san?" Psyche was beyond confused now as Erika ran up to him and shook him slightly. "Erika-san, what's wrong?"

"It's Tsugaru!" Erika stated with slight despair in her voice. "He was able to call off the marriage with me, but now he says he's going to take over for Shiki! They're holding his inauguration ceremony today!"

"But what—what does that mean?" Psyche didn't get it, his head still trying to wrap around the idea that Tsugaru had said he wouldn't come near him anymore.

"It means that once he's tied to the yakuza as their leader, he'll never escape! You've got to go and stop him, Psyche-chan! He'll only do it for you!" Erika pleaded.

His heart pounded nervously in his chest, the sound ringing in his ears. He didn't quite understand what was going on or what he should do. But a part of him cried out, missing the presence of the blue-eyed blonde who had just so suddenly entered his life and turned it upside down. Or maybe, he had turned it right side up.

A determined look on his face now, Psyche pulled out all the wires connected to him, a machine beeping erratically at the action. "Erika, take me to him."

* * *

><p>Tsugaru had tuned out the official talk of Shiki long ago as he sat in a seiza position, his hands fisted on his thighs. He wondered how much longer this would take as Shiki's voice seemed to drone on and on. Finally, they came to the part where Tsugaru would drink some sake and officially be named as the new leader of their clan. But just as Tsugaru was about to take a sip, the sliding doors of the room were opened and a voice shouted out. "Tsugaru!"<p>

"Psyche?" Tsugaru looked up with shock as the crowd that had gathered as witnesses murmured curiously and questionably.

Psyche stood in the doorway, still clad in a hospital gown, with Erika standing right behind him, her eyes shining with anticipation. Psyche spotted the small cup in Tsugaru's hand and ran up to the blonde and smacked it out of his hands. "Are you crazy!"

"…?" Tsugaru was at a loss for words as he blinked in shock at the raven's bold actions.

"Didn't you say we'd leave Japan together?" Psyche demanded as he grabbed the collar of Tsugaru's suit and shook the blonde wildly. "Didn't you say we'd spend time together? Weren't we going to go to the beach? Weren't we going to escape to our own secret hiding place? Weren't we?"

Overcome with so much emotion and talking at such a rate, Psyche took in ragged breaths as fat tears began to roll down his face. "Were you lying to me?"

"I-I wasn't lying!" Tsugaru suddenly found his voice again as his hands grabbed Psyche's shoulders. "I was being honest!"

"Then why did you leave me alone!" Psyche sobbed as he weakly held onto Tsugaru's jacket now, his body curled up and leaning against Tsugaru's chest. "Why did you leave me at the hospital?"

"I-I just didn't want to hurt you anymore," Tsugaru said quietly, distressed by the tears on Psyche's face.

"And you thought that by leaving, it wouldn't hurt me?" Psyche looked up to briefly glare at Tsugaru. "That hurt! That hurt a lot more than this hurt." Psyche pointed at his shoulder wound.

Tsugaru grimaced at that revelation and moved to envelop Psyche in his arms, his grip tight. How did he ever think he could just leave so easily? He had missed this—having the raven in his arms even if it was gone for only a little while. He just hadn't known just how much he had missed it until Psyche was in his arms again. He was foolish to think he could just leave Psyche. Izaya was right. He was so foolish. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Psyche. I swear I won't leave you again."

"You better not," Psyche whispered more softly this time as he returned Tsugaru's hug, smiling gently against the blonde's shoulder.

It was only when he heard the tall-tell fangirl squeal of Erika and an awkward cough that Psyche and Tsugaru remembered where they were. The two of them blushed profusely as they broke away, though their hands were still clasped tightly together. They both turned to look at Shiki, who looked at them with a slight frown on his face.

"Tsugaru," Shiki started, and Psyche flinched slightly, expecting to get yelled at. But the look on the man's face then softened as he smiled somewhat gently down at them. "I guess you won't be taking over for me after all."

Psyche blinked, not sure if what just happened was real or a dream. But Tsugaru seemed calm, like he expected this to happen, as he smiled back at his adoptive father. "No, father, I don't think I will."

"Humph," Shiki grumbled although there was still that joking smile on his face. "Guess I'll have to find me a new heir then."

"I-I don't quite understand," Psyche whispered to Tsugaru, still shaken up by the turn of events. "Does that mean he accepts us?"

Tsugaru just smiled lovingly at Psyche as he brought their intertwined hands to his mouth and kissed Psyche's palm. "So, which beach do you want to go to?"

Psyche's mouth curled up into a smile.

* * *

><p>A few months later…<p>

"Shizuo-senpai~! Whatcha looking at?" Shizuo grunted as his blonde kouhai, Kida Masaomi, thumped against his back, peeking over Shizuo's arm. In Shizuo's hand was a couple of pictures of a sandy beach with the sun high in the sky and water crystal blue. Two figures laughed as they snapped the picture. "Waiiiii~ senpai, what a pretty place! Where is that?"

"None of your damn business, brat," Shizuo growled as he gently pushed Kida away from him. "Now get back to work!"

"Eh~" Kida playfully complained. "Senpai is such a meanie!" Kida's honey colored eyes then caught his next target as his devious smile widened and he jumped his coworker. "Mi-ka-do~!"

"K-Ki-Kida-kun!" Mikado blushed at the suddenly appearance of the blonde. "Don't scare me like that!"

Shizuo shook his head and tuned out their chatter as he turned back to the letter that came with the photos.

_Everything's just wonderful here in California, Shizuo. You should take a vacation someday and visit us here, maybe it would help cool your temper. Speaking of vacations, Erika sent us an invitation to her and Walker's wedding next month, so I'll come and see you first actually. Well, Psyche and I are off to check out Santa Monica now. I'll write to you when he and I plan to leave for Japan._

_Sincerely,_

_Tsugaru_

Shizuo smiled and chuckled as he shook his head. His eyes then caught the postscript at the bottom of the letter.

_P.S. Also, we both know you don't really hate Izaya as much as you make it out to be. Better do something about him soon, Shizuo, or you might regret your actions later. Trust me. It's better to love and maybe be hurt than fear love and not do anything._

A sad smile played on Shizuo's lips as he slowly folded up the letter. "If only it were that easy, Tsugaru."

He then put the letter down, pulling out a carton of cigarettes from his pocket. It was the last box of cigarettes he had ever bought. He pulled one out but didn't light it. He hadn't smoked a lit cigarette in a long time. Not since _that_ person had mentioned he hated it. And now Shizuo only chewed on them out of habit. He would completely quit once this box was gone.

And maybe when he finally threw away the last cigarette, he could throw away this hopeless love of his.

* * *

><p><strong>You guys got a little sneak peek of what Shizuo and Izaya's story entails in this chapter (there were actually a lot of hints in this chapter and last chapter). I'm so excited to write Shizuo and Izaya's story guys! I'll try to have the start of theirs up soon! But anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed Tsugaru and Psyche's story, and I hope everyone has a great holiday~!<strong>

**Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

**-Xaleria**


	15. Shizuo & Izaya 1

**Thank you so much for the reviews everyone! I'm glad you all liked Tsugaru and Psyche's story, but I hope you're prepared for more angst, because there will be a lot of it in Shizuo and Izaya's story.**

**I'm also going to do something a bit different here. Whenever you guys see the **_**Bold Italic**_ **words, that's the "narration voice" that is sort of interjecting its thoughts on the story. You'll see what I mean it a bit, but I just didn't want you guys getting it confused with it being Izaya or Shizuo's first POV. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters.**

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><p><strong>Shizuo &amp; Izaya<strong>

_**People say your first love is the one you never forget. Everyone you love afterwards will always have to compete with your first love.**_

_**Because first loves **__**are**__** unforgettable. Sometimes to the point of where you feel like you can't love anyone else as much as you loved them. **_

_**But sometimes that's true. **_

_**Sometimes the only one you'll ever truly love…**_

_**Is that first love.**_

* * *

><p>The ten years old boy nervously fiddled with the gold ribbon that was tied around a box wrapped with crimson paper. He thought the bow looked a little funny and fussed with untying it and retying it, never seeming satisfied with how the bow turned out. Finally, after a few futile attempts of making the bow picture perfect, the boy just huffed and gave up, grumbling that even if the bow looked crooked it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was the box being accepted.<p>

Anxiety filled the boy then as he glanced down at the box in his hands. Would this be strange? Would this freak him out? Would he not accept it? The boy didn't want to think about such things. The boy shook his head, trying to cast out such negative thoughts as he looked at a digital watch around his wrist. It was almost time.

He waited as the minutes passed, the sun beating down on his back. But soon more minutes passed and the sun lowered from the sky, the air becoming cooler. The sky turned various shades of orange, pink, and even a slight purple as the afternoon turned into evening. A crisp wind blew through the boy's raven hair as his pale hands clenched the crimson box tightly. His body trembled slightly as his face scrunched up. He tried so hard to hold the emotions back.

It was long well past the time.

With a cry of outrage the boy threw the package to the ground, it crumpling slightly before he moved to step on it. But he stopped himself right before his foot made contact. He bent down instead and looked at the package with a sad expression. The crimson paper he had so carefully wrapped the box in was now dirtied and wrinkled, the gold ribbon he had fussed over limping hanging in a pathetic bow. Gingerly, the boy picked up the box. And then he couldn't hold it back anymore.

He held the box close to his chest, quietly sobbing as the contents inside the box made an audible cracking sound. The boy made a slight gasp and pulled the box away from his chest, ripping apart the paper and frantically opening the box. His heart almost stopped as his scarlet eyes fell upon the broken chocolate inside.

It was a heart shaped chocolate he had spent the entire night last night perfecting. And now it was broken into pieces. He wondered if this was meant to tell him something as the tears silently streamed down his cheeks.

That night the boy walked home with his shoulders slouched and the chocolate nestled close to his chest as sometimes the pieces fell to the ground. But the boy didn't bother to pick them up. What was the point of picking up the pieces if they would only melt away anyway?

* * *

><p>BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP<p>

If there was one thing that Heiwajima Shizuo hated most in this world, it would be alarm clocks and their GODDAMN. INCESSANT. BEEPING!

The blonde growled angrily as he rolled over in his bed and slammed his hand down on the alarm clock on his nightstand, the annoying thing making a weird sound before it shut up. Shizuo grumbled some curses on alarm clocks and the person that invented him as his sleepy eyes looked at the glaring red numbers. He groaned as he threw his head back on his pillow. He'd have to get ready for work in a few minutes, but his bed just felt so damn comfortable right now…

As if to get revenge on him for the harsh beating, the alarm clock blared a second alarm which made Shizuo snarl as he threw off his blanket and slammed his hand down on the alarm clock. Since he was out of bed now Shizuo figured he might as well start getting ready. So Shizuo begrudgingly made his way to the bathroom connected to his room and prepared for the day.

After a quick shower Shizuo dressed into his clothes for work, a simple white button down shirt with black slacks. Today he decided to wear the vest that Tom grumbled he was supposed to wear all the time, but Shizuo felt more comfortable without it. Once he ate a quick breakfast Shizuo left for work, walking the entire way.

Usually, his walk to work was a peaceful and somewhat relaxing thing to do. But today was just a disaster. He almost got run over by a drunk driver, got chased by an angry dog because he smelled like the cat he had stopped to pet earlier, ran into some old lady that got pissed at him for no good reason, and stepped on some gum that took forever to take off. By the time Shizuo reached La Petite Étoile, the blonde was worn out and pissed off.

"What the hell happened to you?" Tom Tanaka, his boss, asked as he looked at Shizuo's ruffled uniform with an inquisitive look.

"Bad day," was all Shizuo replied as he stomped past Tom to the back room, changing into a fresh uniform he thankfully kept as a spare in his locker as he pulled on a black apron around his waist. Unfortunately, today just didn't seem to be Shizuo's day. He mixed up some orders, angering customers, which in turn made him angry and then he ended up getting lectured by Tom. Then the cappuccino machine stopped working and while Shizuo tried to fix it, it ended up bursting on him and spraying cappuccino everywhere so Shizuo ended up having to work with a coffee-stained shirt since this was his only spare. And then the cookies he had been helping bake ended up getting burnt. Shizuo was getting more upset with each mishap as the afternoon wore on. Soon Shizuo's two high school coworkers came in for their shift. They had replaced the two girls who used to work here a while ago, which Shizuo was grateful for because he found those girls really irritating. He didn't mind these two, but sometimes the two of them caused him a headache. And since today seemed to be his run of bad luck, it was of no surprise his two coworkers caused him some trouble as they walked inside the café, the blonde kid bothering the black haired kid like usual.

"K-Ki-Kida-kun!" Mikado squeaked as his blonde counterpart snickered and hugged him from behind, making the raven-haired, blue-eyed boy blush.

"Mi-ka-do~" Kida said in his cheery sing-song voice. "Why don't you ever call me Masaomi? Come on, say it with me, Ma-sa-omi~!"

The blushing blue eyed high school boy sputtered as his face turned redder. Mikado shook his head, pushing the blonde away from him, "Stop joking around, Kida-kun." But Mikado pushed Kida a little harder than he intended, the blonde kid falling backwards and bumping into Shizuo, who had been carrying a tray of drinks. Shizuo let out a yelp before he fell to the ground, the drinks spilling all around him and the glasses breaking.

"Eep! Senpai!" Kida squeaked as he turned to look at Shizuo with wide eyes. "A-are y-yo-you o-ok-okay?" The blonde looked fearfully at the barista, knowing the man's temper and seeing the barista's coffee eyes flash dangerously as a growl grew from the back of his throat.

Just when it looked like Shizuo was on the verge of exploding, Tom showed up from the back room with an incredulous look on his face, "What the hell happened here?"

Shizuo took in a deep breath and let it out, not wanting to cause Tom any more trouble. He then stood up, angrily took off his apron and shoved it into Kida's hands. "Sorry Tom, but I think I'm gonna take the rest of the day off."

"Uh, sure," was all Tom could say in response as he looked around at the mess.

Shizuo just waved goodbye then and stomped out the door, pulling out his cigarette carton and taking one in his fingers. He chewed on it angrily as he walked through Ikebukuro, people reading the bad vibe off of him and backing away. He didn't mind, he preferred to stay away from people right now since they'd most likely just get hurt, if his bad streak was something that would continue on.

Finally Shizuo arrived home and sighed with relief as he shut the door behind him, kicking off his shoes and making his way to the kitchen. He pulled open the fridge door, grabbing one of the multiple glass bottles of milk he always had and popping off the cap before downing the entire bottle. He let out a sound of pleasure as he threw away the bottle and settled on his couch, wondering why the hell today was such a horrible day. Shizuo then pulled his cell phone from his pocket and flipped it open, checking the calendar. As he saw the highlighted day, recognition hit him and he realized why his day had been so crappy.

Today was_ that day_.

Shizuo made a slight sigh and groaning noise as he buried his face in his hands. He couldn't believe he had almost forgotten today, but the event had been so long ago, yet it was still so fresh in his mind as Shizuo leaned back in the couch and pulled out another cigarette from his carton.

As he chewed on the cancer stick, he thought about this day thirteen years ago.

The day he had lost both his best friend and first love.

* * *

><p>Although it is said that one doesn't start retaining memory until they're three years of age, it was probably some subconscious of his that made the memory of their first meeting crystal clear in his mind. He had been a year old when the auntie next door had given birth to a baby boy. His mother had brought him over there when the baby was brought home.<p>

"Look, Shizuo, isn't he just a cutie? His name's Izaya," his mom cooed as she tickled the baby, making the baby giggle slightly. "You and he are going to be best friends, just like me and auntie. I just know it."

At first, Shizuo pouted, not liking the fact that his mom was giving more attention to this baby instead of him. But then auntie held out the baby to him and his mother brought Shizuo closer to look at the baby. And as Shizuo looked down at the pale, silent baby, with wisps of raven hair and large, innocent-looking scarlet eyes, Shizuo couldn't help but feel the desire to protect this baby.

And then the baby did something that surprised all of them. He cooed, reaching out towards Shizuo and placing his hand on the boy's cheek, smiling and giggling like babies did. But the action made the corners of Shizuo's mouth curl up into a wide smile.

Shizuo had then been inseparable from the baby ever since, always tugging at his mother's leg and demanding, "Iza," which was his childish way of saying he wanted to see Izaya. But Shizuo's mother would always just laugh and bring Shizuo over to the auntie next door and they would let Shizuo watch the baby with careful attention, making a surprised gasp every time Izaya did something different. He would then excitedly bounce and look at his mother and auntie, as if he were saying, "Did you see! Did you see what Izaya did!"

They would then allow Shizuo to help tuck the baby into his crib, the small child sometimes nodding off to sleep himself as he did so. But the mothers didn't mind. They stared at their two sleeping boys with soft smiles, thinking that the two of them would be great friends in the future.

* * *

><p>"But I dun wanna go to kindergarten!" five years old Shizuo whined with a pout as he crossed his arms. "I wanna stay wit Iza-kun!"<p>

The two mothers looked at each other with concerned looks as they looked down at the brunette kid who refused to let go of the raven boy he hugged tightly. The raven didn't seem to mind, looking up at his mother with wide eyes. "Mummy, can I go to kindergarten with Shizu-chan?"

"Ah, but," Izaya's mother started, placing her hand on her cheek worriedly as she looked at her friend.

Shizuo's mother only smiled widely, "Hey, why not? Iza-chan's a smart kid! I'm sure he'll be fine. And he can keep an eye on Shizuo for me." Shizuo's mother laughed as she joked, "Lord knows Shizuo listens more to Iza-chan than me."

So it was decided. Izaya's mother enrolled him in kindergarten and they gladly accepted Izaya when they saw how intelligent the kid was for his young age. Shizuo was pleased, bragging to his mother the next day how he'd get to walk Iza-kun to school. In the morning, Shizuo was a bouncing ball of energy as he proudly walked next door to pick Izaya up.

"Oh, look who's here, Izaya!" Izaya's mother laughed cheerfully as she answered the door, Izaya peeking out from behind her to smile at Shizuo. Shizuo liked the fact that the two of them wore the same blue uniform and class patches.

"Let's go ta kindergarten, Iza-kun!" Shizuo declared as Izaya giggled, pulling on a hat and walking to Shizuo's side.

Their mothers followed them until they reached the entrance of the school, waving goodbye to them as they walked in hand in hand. Shizuo smiled proudly when Izaya introduced himself and declared Shizuo was his best friend to the class, and the teacher put them together as they worked on their coloring projects. At lunch, Izaya taught Shizuo some card games and then they went outside to play catch.

It was a bit windy during recess though, and they watched as Izaya's hat was swept from his head and got caught in a nearby tree in the playground that was quite low to an older person, but seemed large to the two small kids. "I'll get it for you, Iza-kun!" Shizuo declared as he began his ascent up the tree.

"Be careful, Shizu-chan," Izaya called out, looking worriedly at his friend.

It took some effort from the tiny brunette, but he eventually grabbed the hat in his hands and held it up in victory to a cheering Izaya. But then the next moment happened in a blur as Shizuo yelped, slipping on the somewhat thin branch he had been leaning against and tumbling to the ground. "Shizu-chan!"

Izaya ran up to the brunette's side, brushing away sticks and leaves that stuck to his unruly brown hair. "Shizu-chan, are you okay?"

But the boy just smiled widely, despite his cuts and scrapes, holding up the hat, "I got your hat, Iza-kun." It didn't seem that Shizuo had injured anything greatly, miraculously getting away with a few bumps and bruises.

Izaya was a bit surprised and put off by Shizuo's indifference to his health, swatting the brunette playfully, "Idiot! Now you're hurt." The raven then paused, taking the hat into his hands with a thoughtful look on his face. He then leaned down towards the brunette and kissed him on the cheek, "Thank you, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo blinked in surprise but smiled widely as his cheeks colored red.

* * *

><p>The years passed like that, the two growing closer every day as they moved onto kindergarten to primary school. They made some other friends on the way, like Kishitani Shinra, Kadota Kyohei, and a smirky kid named Delic. Never were they as close to them as they were to each other though. Soon the last year of their primary education came and the two were still as thick as thieves.<p>

"Hey, Shizu-chan?" Izaya called out questionably as he and Shizuo relaxed in the brunette's room like always, Shizuo playing a video game as Izaya read a book.

"Hm?" eleven year old Shizuo looked up from his paused game, a chocolate pocky sticking out from his mouth.

"What would you do if I went to a different middle school from you?"

"HAH!" Shizuo abruptly stood up, his eyes widening. "Why? Didn't we already say we're going to the same school? Why do you want to go somewhere different?"

"I didn't say I am going to a different one for sure," Izaya sighed as he sat up from his lying position on the bed. "I said 'if' I go."

"Well then I'll follow you!" Shizuo stated simply as he crossed his arms with a satisfied smirk on his face for thinking of such a great answer.

"But Shizu-chan, what if I went to one of those really fancy, smart private middle schools? You know there's no way you'd be able to pass the entrance exam," Izaya pointed out matter-of-factly.

Shizuo grumbled to himself, his expression darkening. He didn't like to admit it, but Izaya was vastly more intelligent to him, and any school he got into Shizuo would have no chance of getting into. "Do you really want to leave me all by myself?" Shizuo asked with a forlorn look on his face.

Izaya's lips curled up into a smirk as he laughed, "Silly Shizu-chan, I'm just teasing you. Of course we'd go to the same middle school. Why would I leave you?"

Shizuo seemed reassured by his words, slowly calming down and returning to his game. "Good, because school would suck a lot without you."

Because his back was turned and he was focused on his game, he didn't notice the red coloring on Izaya's face as the raven hid his happy smile behind his book.

* * *

><p>"We should bury a time capsule to commemorate our last year of primary school!" Shinra declared to his four friends, his gray eyes shining as he held up a silver canister in his hands.<p>

"Why a time capsule?" Kadota asked with a confused look on his face.

"And what the hell would we put in it?" Delic added as he rolled his eyes at the silly idea.

"Come on, guys, we could put our favorite thing in it, and don't you think it'll be fun to dig it up 15 years from now and see what we liked as kids?" Shinra tried to get them interested.

"I guess," Izaya murmured with a shrug. "But I think putting in our favorite things is kind of boring. Why don't we write wishes instead?"

"Wishes?" Shizuo questioned as he arched his eyebrow in question at his best friend.

Izaya's lips curled up into a mischievous smile, "Yeah, wishes. Stuff we wish will come true in the future."

"That's actually not a bad idea," Shinra mused. "That way in the future we could see if our wishes came true or not."

The others all agreed that sounded like a good idea so Shinra passed around some pieces of paper and pens and all of them wrote down their wishes.

Izaya took a good look at his wish before he folded it up and dumped it inside the time capsule. He really hoped that it would come true.

_I wish that Shizu-chan accepts my confession._

* * *

><p>It was the day of graduation that everything seemed to have changed. Shizuo remembered it bitterly. He had thought it was strange when he went to go pick up Izaya and his mother said that Izaya had left early. He had wondered why as he walked to school alone, and when he got there he couldn't find the raven anywhere. In fact, he didn't even see Izaya until the actual ceremony and Izaya sat where he was supposed to in their class.<p>

Shizuo wondered what was wrong with him as he noted the dark rings around Izaya's eyes and slight cold look in them. It made Izaya look angry and slightly scary. After the ceremony ended, Shizuo went to chase after Izaya to ask.

"Izaya! Hey! Izaya! Wait up!" Shizuo wondered why Izaya didn't stop when he called him. "Izaya!" This time the raven stopped but didn't turn around to face Shizuo. Shizuo panted slightly to catch his breath. "Hey, what's the matter? Are you mad at me or something?"

"Mad?" Izaya's voice was somewhat quiet and there was a bitter edge to his tone. "No, I'm not mad at you, Shizu-chan."

"Then what's the pro—"

"I'm absolutely livid," Izaya interrupted, turning around and glaring at Shizuo. The brunette winced slightly at the cold look that he had never seen before in the raven's scarlet eyes. "I'm more than mad at you! I absolutely infuriated at YOU!"

Shizuo was shocked. He didn't understand what was going on or what Izaya was saying, but he could feel his own anger bubbling up inside of him. What the hell? Why the heck was Izaya the one getting mad? _He _was the one who completely ignored Shizuo all day! And Shizuo realized he was really angry when he felt his hands clench into fists. Why the hell should Izaya be able to say these kinds of things when he did absolutely nothing to warrant them?

"What the hell is your problem?" Shizuo growled as he glared back with as much hatred in his eyes.

"You're my problem!" Izaya snapped as he crossed his arms. "You and that insensitive, stupid, brutish personality of yours!"

"What?" Shizuo was snarling now. So this entire time Izaya thought it was a dumb, unfeeling brute? Well then he should have just told him! "Like you're one to talk you fucking bloodsucking, manipulative flea!"

Izaya gasped slightly at Shizuo's words, his eyes widened and his mouth setting into a firm angry line. For a moment Shizuo felt guilty and wanted to take his words back, but then the next thing that slipped out of Izaya's mouth his body freeze over cold, "I hate you, Shizu-chan."

And before he could stop himself, the words left his mouth too, "Yeah, well I hate you too."

* * *

><p><em>Why the hell had things turned out like that anyway?<em> Shizuo wondered as he pulled out the completely chewed up cigarette from his mouth and threw it away. He looked up at the roof as he thought about his past. Izaya hadn't ended up going to the same middle school as him after all, Izaya's mother saying he chose to enroll in some private boarding school. Shizuo hadn't realized how much he missed his former best friend till then. The absence gnawed at him every day, but he had learned later to start ignoring it.

That was until he enrolled into Raijin High School and Izaya suddenly popped back into his life. At first Shizuo wanted to apologize and reconcile things, but the bitter feelings of their last meeting seemed to have stayed as Izaya pointedly glared at him and even dared to slash at his chest with a knife! Shizuo had ended up chasing him throughout Ikebukuro, yelling how he was going to kill the flea once he got his hands on him. And they had been like that ever since. Declaring their hate for each other and chasing each other around until one of them gave up. Shizuo wondered which one of them it would be.

Shizuo snorted to himself as he recalled his mother's words of when she said they would be best friends. "Some friends we turned out to be," Shizuo mumbled as he looked out the window, the sun beginning to set. His coffee eyes somewhat became sad as he turned back to his cigarette carton sitting on the coffee table in front of him, wishing he could really smoke one.

But he had to give this habit up. Just like how he had to give up this painful feeling tugging at his heart as he thought about the pale-skinned, raven-haired, scarlet-eyed man that always seemed to occupy his thoughts.

* * *

><p><em><strong>If only first loves could be easily forgotten. If only they could be like the smoke from a cigarette. You would breathe them in for a moment but then let it go and watch it disappear. <strong>_

_**If only such painful memories could just as easily disappear.**_

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><p><strong>Whew, sorry this chapter took so long guys! I was busier than I expected over the weekend and this week. Dx But I hoped you enjoyed the start of Shizuo and Izaya's story! And like I said, it's going to get even more angsty so be prepared. <strong>

**Also, finals are coming up soon so I apologize if my next update comes slowly. I'll try not to take too long. But man, I can't wait until break! More time to write~! ^^ Yay!**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing like always everyone! :) You are just amazing for loving this story so much! Really, it means so much to me. ;_;**

**-Xaleria**


	16. Shizuo & Izaya 2

**I'm so glad you guys are loving this story. ;_; Really all your comments just make me so happy! In fact, I was so happy that I decided "screw my art hw" and wrote this chapter instead. XD So I hope you guys also enjoy this chapter though I warn you, I got so emotional writing this chapter so who knows what effect it'll have on you.**

**Ohh~ And we'll get to see more of an old character in here. ;) Read on to find out who.**

**WARNING: **This story is rated M so it will contain boyxboy lime/lemon. There will be_ lemon implications _in this chapter. You have been forewarned.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters.**

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><p><strong>Shizuo &amp; Izaya<strong>

_**Nobody ever said love was easy. But nobody ever said it would hurt this much too. **_

_**Whenever someone talked about love, didn't they always mention rosy feelings, rushed heartbeats, and indescribable feelings of happiness? Wasn't love supposed to be all shiny and glorious, despite all the hard times, like it was in those shows and movies? Wasn't love supposed to be worth hurting for? **_

_**He didn't understand why people thought that way. The only thing love ever did for him was hurt him. The only thing love ever did was show him what a horrible emotion it was. **_

_**Love meant vulnerability. Vulnerability meant pain. And pain meant another scar on his skin. **_

_**Would the pain ever end? **_

_**Would the scars ever disappear?**_

_**Would love ever stop hurting him?**_

* * *

><p><em>Forget. Forget. Forget. Forget. Forget.<em>

He chanted the word over and over in his head, hoping it would come true. Hoping that this time, his actions would wipe the memories he so longed to never think of again clean from his mind. But of course, that never happened.

"Ahh…" He gasped lowly as his body shook with the tremors of pleasure, white filling his vision as he came. His scarlet eyes were hazed as the face of the person leaning over him blurred even more. He didn't exactly know who at the moment had fucked him senseless, but he didn't really care. That person had failed at erasing the memories from his mind as the face he no longer wanted to see filled his head instead.

The pleasure just wasn't enough. It was never enough to block out the memories. Izaya steadied his breathing as he sat up, his face impassive as he reached for his uniform. He didn't like how gross and stick he felt. "That was fun," a low voice that attempted to be sexy but only succeeded in sending shivers of disgust down Izaya's spine spoke.

Izaya smiled slyly in response, though his scarlet eyes were dark and cold as he got dressed, "I'm glad you thought so, because this is the first and last time this is happening."

"Huh? Wait—" the guy seemed shocked and surprised as Izaya finished dressing and stood up, leaving before the guy could say anything else.

"Tch," Izaya hissed as he stormed out of the equipment storeroom, heading back towards his dorm. His mouth was downturned into a frown as his head swam with different thoughts. No matter how many times he tried to drown himself in pleasure, none of it ever satisfied him. None of it ever made him forget like he wanted to. His chest stung with pain as the memories filled his head. His eyes narrowed and he almost started running back to the dorm.

He needed that release. The only thing that made him forget. Even if for a brief moment, he was able to forget it. Just pleasure wasn't good enough.

Finally he reached his dorm, rushing into his room and thanking whatever god there was out there that his roommate wasn't in. He ran into their shared bathroom, shutting the bathroom door behind him as he began stripping off his clothes. Izaya turned on the shower and stepped inside when he was fully naked. Sticky cum dripped down his legs, but he didn't care. All he cared about was forgetting.

The feel of the hot water on his back let him relax as he sat down on the shower ground, flicking out the blade of his knife he had brought into the shower with him. He watched the water drip on the silver of the blade, thinking that the sight of it was almost beautiful before he pressed the sharp side down against the pale skin of his thigh. He bit his lip slightly in response to the initial pain of the knife biting into his skin, drawing blood. But soon he became numb, the sight of the red liquid against his skin soothing the pain in his heart. He didn't know what about it made him feel better, but it did. He leaned his head back against the wall of the shower, watching the water run down his body and mix with his blood. He let his mind focus on that, the memories fading out slightly.

But one cut wasn't enough. He could still see his face in his head. That soft, messy brown hair. Those coffee colored eyes. That cheery, silly smile. The sound of his voice as he said his name.

"_Izaya._"

His scarlet eyes tightened as he pressed the blade against his thigh again, making another cut. But his smiling face was still in his head. Another cut. The smile disappeared. Another. His eyes faded to black. One more. Soon his features were unrecognizable.

With each cut he watched the blood drip down his legs, swirling with the water against the tile floor before it disappeared down the drain. The memories were getting fuzzier now, and he was beginning to relax more. Izaya's eyes drooped slightly and suddenly his body felt tired. His fingers had unconsciously traveled to his cuts, picking at the skin of his legs and at the old scars scattered about them. The stinging pain it inflicted on him made him forget.

The physical pain was the only thing that made him forget the emotional pain he experienced in his heart.

A small ghost of a satisfied smile played on Izaya's lips as he closed his eyes.

His face had finally disappeared completely from his mind.

But it would come back soon enough. Once the pain subsided, his face would be back, haunting Izaya.

But once that happened, more cuts would just appear. And they would keep appearing until maybe there would be so many scars all over him that the pain in his heart he felt every time he saw his face would no longer have any more room to leave a scar.

* * *

><p><em><strong>The first heartbreak is just as unforgettable as the first love.<strong>_

_**Your experiences with love often make scars on yourself. Even if they're not visible, they're still there, and like scars they show how much you have endured. They are a sign of battle as you fight your way through tears, heartbreaks, and unrequited love. The scar of each love leaves an impression on you forever so that you remember what you went through.**_

_**And the scars start with the first love and first heartbreak. Those are always the deepest scars made.**_

_**And they are the scars that never heal fully. Because they still hurt.**_

_**They always hurt, reminding you of the first love and first heartbreak.**_

* * *

><p>"Damn!" Rokujo Chikage swore as he shook his head at the sight that greeted him. Izaya leaned weakly against the wall of the shower, streaks of dried blood on his legs as his eyes seemed glazed over as they looked at his roommate. Chikage couldn't believe Izaya had done this again. If Chikage hadn't come back earlier than he expected, Izaya might have been dead by now. "What did I tell you about doing this? My god, Izaya, you need help!"<p>

"No, I don't," Izaya insisted, his voice slightly weak as he glared at Chikage but allowed the auburn-haired boy to help him out of the shower. His cuts had long since stopped bleeding, as Izaya never made them too deep, but the fresh wounds were evident against the older ones. Chikage stared at them with a sad look.

He had thought the day he first met his roommate four years ago that Izaya was a bit cold and somewhat of a bastard. But he didn't understand at the time that the reason why was because of the pain Izaya carried inside his heart. The pain that led him to this. The first time Chikage had caught Izaya doing it, he had sworn he was going to tell a teacher about it. But seeing that pleading, pathetic look in Izaya's eyes, instead of the cold, unfeeling one he usually held, was odd to see and Chikage couldn't bear to go against him. Izaya had just looked so sad and helpless when Chikage had said he would take away the only escape Izaya had from the memories.

_What the hell happened to him to make him like this? _Chikage wondered as he helped Izaya bandage his wounds and get dressed. They both were only fourteen years old, in their last year of middle school. Weren't they supposed to be enjoying their youth? What had happened to make someone as young as Izaya as cynical as an adult? As Chikage finished wrapping up Izaya's wounds, he spotted the tall-tell hickeys on the raven's collarbone. The sight of them made Chikage frown. "Dammit, you slept with someone else again, didn't you? I swear, one of these days, Izaya, you're going to regret your actions!"

"I don't need you to lecture me, Chikage," Izaya retorted with an icy glare. "I can do whatever the hell I want."

"Even if it means killing yourself?" Chikage returned Izaya's glare with just as much fervor. "Look at you, Izaya! I accepted it when you were doing this once in a while, but now you're starting to do it almost every day! If you keep this up, you really will kill yourself!"

"That's fine with me."

Chikage stopped to stare at the raven incredulously. But Izaya seemed serious as he clenched his hands tightly and stared at the ground. "If killing myself means I can stop feeling this way and remembering those memories…then I'm fine with that."

"Are you crazy!" Chikage practically screamed at him as he grabbed Izaya's shoulder and shook him slightly as if that would put some sense in him. "You understand what you're saying right?"

"What else am I supposed to do! Why don't you tell me then!" Izaya growled as he tried to push Chikage away from him. But he just felt so weak and Chikage hardly moved an inch. Anger bubbled inside of him. "You don't understand how I feel! How much it hurts to think of him…"

Chikage only knew bits and pieces of what happened to Izaya, sometimes the raven muttering about his past in these kinds of fits. He understood so far that Izaya had loved someone, but that person apparently never loved him back and now that person hated him. Chikage thought it was strange for Izaya to get worked up over a crush that was four years ago, but when he saw the pain in Izaya's scarlet eyes, the hopelessness and yearning, Chikage saw that it was more than just a crush.

"I'm sorry," Chikage whispered softly as he tried to reassuringly rub Izaya's back. The raven's anger slowly subsided, his expression turning sad. Chikage was about the only person Izaya ever showed emotion to. To everyone else, he was always his cold, stony self. But Chikage was the only person who knew all his secrets and accepted them. Chikage was the only who bothered to comfort him. Sometimes, it made Izaya almost feel like his old self. Almost.

"Never mind," Izaya sighed as he pushed Chikage's arm away from him. "Let's just go to bed, Chikage."

"Izaya—" But Izaya just ignored Chikage and turned around to get into bed, his back facing Chikage. The auburn teen sighed, ruffling his hair in frustration as he got up and got ready for bed himself. He wished he could help his friend. He really did.

But he just didn't know how.

* * *

><p>"<em>I hate you, Shizu-chan."<em>

"_Yeah, well I hate you too."_

Izaya gasped as he awoke from the nightmare occurring in his mind. He wanted so badly to scream, to cry, to do anything to let out the burning in his chest as he clutched at his blanket, his eyes stinging from the threatening tears. Why had things ended up like that? Why had he been so stupid to say such words? Now their friendship was ruined, and his love was lost. It was all his fault…all his fault…

"Izaya? Izaya, are you okay?" a worried voice rang out in the dark. Soon warm arms enveloped him and Izaya looked up to see coffee-colored eyes looking at him in concern. For a moment Izaya thought he was still dreaming before the other features of Chikage's face came into focus. And Izaya's heart sank. Of course it wasn't _him._

"I'm fine," Izaya muttered as he turned away from Chikage. It was strange to look at his eyes. Those coffee colored eyes that reminded him of someone else.

"You were muttering in your sleep again," Chikage said softly. There was a moment of silence between them before Chikage's inquisitive voice broke it, "Who's Shizu-chan?"

Izaya turned to glare coldly at Chikage, "That's none of your business."

But instead of being frightened to go further, Chikage ignored him, asking, "Is he the reason you do that?"

"Why do you care so much!" Izaya snapped as he pulled away from Chikage. "Why should what I do be any of your concern?"

"Because," Chikage stated seriously. "I'm your friend."

Izaya snorted with disbelief as he rolled his eyes. "Last time I checked, I never called you my friend. Friends are things I don't need because friendships can be easily broken."

"Is that what happened between you and Shizu-chan?" Izaya froze slightly. Why was it that Chikage so easily guessed everything? Was he really that easy to read? Izaya had taken pride in being able to build his impassive demeanor so that no person could ever come close to him again. So that no person could ever hurt him like _he _had again. But around Chikage, it was kind of hard to keep that guard up. And that was probably because Chikage was so much like _him_. Those eyes, his caring personality, and his desire to protect Izaya. All of these things kept reminding Izaya of the one person he was trying to forget.

"It doesn't matter what happened," Izaya murmured bitterly. "It's all in the past now."

"Izaya," Izaya looked up in response to his name and was surprised to see a dissatisfied look on Chikage's face. The young auburn-haired teen grabbed the raven's face in between his hands, those coffee-colored eyes looking into Izaya's scarlet ones seriously. "If it really doesn't matter, why are you crying?"

Izaya hadn't even realized he had started crying. It had been so many years since he last cried that the feeling had become so foreign to him. But as he reached up and gingerly touched the skin of his cheeks he found them wet with the hot tears that streaked down his face. He furiously wiped them away in the next second. He wasn't supposed to cry. Because crying meant he was weak. And he wasn't supposed to be weak. He was stronger than this. But he just didn't feel that way as the sobs took over his body, his thin frame trembling slightly as the tears didn't stop. Chikage seemed a bit panicked and unsure of what to do as he held onto Izaya tightly. "I-I'm sorry. Oh, come on, Izaya, please, stop crying?"

But the raven couldn't stop as he tried so hard to wipe away the tears only to have more replace them. Chikage bit his lip in worry, seeming to contemplate something. But then he became determined as he decided, pulling Izaya's hands away from his face. Izaya looked at him in surprise for a moment before his roommate's actions made him freeze in shock. Chikage had leaned forward, gently pressing his lips under Izaya's eyes and licking up the salty tears. It successfully made the raven stop crying as he was too surprised to continue. This made Chikage smile in relief as he pulled away from Izaya, wiping away the excess tears with his fingers. "That's better," the teen murmured. "It's weird when you cry."

"Wh—" Izaya didn't even know what to say, his brain still working to understand what had just happened. "Why did you do that?"

"Because I hate seeing you cry," Chikage stated matter-of-factly. The look in his coffee colored eyes softened as he looked at Izaya, gently caressing the raven's face. His eyes and hands then traveled lower to Izaya's shorts, pushing up the leg hem slowly to reveal the scars there. "These scars…they're all because you can't forget him, right?"

"What do you know?" Izaya said softly. "Why do you keep acting like you care?"

"Because I do," Chikage declared simply as he looked up at Izaya seriously. "I do care about you as your friend."

A curt retort got caught in Izaya's throat as he caught the look in Chikage's coffee colored eyes. They were so much like _his _eyes. He felt his heart twist painfully in his chest and he clenched at his shirt as it did. Izaya wondered briefly if maybe because of their similarities, would Chikage be the one to make Izaya forget about _him_? The temptation and thought of it grew in his mind, and he decided. "Ne, Chikage."

"Huh? Wha—" Chikage was surprised when Izaya suddenly pushed him on his back against the bed, the raven getting on top of him and straddling his hips.

Izaya's scarlet eyes looked at him somewhat seriously as his hands traveled down Chikage's chest. "You want to help me, don't you? Why don't you help me forget about him then?"

Chikage felt Izaya's hands travel down lower to the waistband of his pajama pants, and the auburn teen quickly grabbed the raven's hands to stop him. When Chikage spoke, his voice was soft but grave, "If I do, will you stop doing that?"

Izaya blinked in surprise, at first not knowing what Chikage was referring to until he felt a hand gently brush against the scars on his legs. Izaya bit his lip, unsure of what to say. The cutting was the only thing that guaranteed him to forget, so could he really give that up? But as he looked down at those coffee eyes, he could feel a desperate hope tug at his heart. It wasn't like he enjoyed the cutting either. It was just his only option. But maybe…if Chikage could help him…"Yeah," Izaya promised in a quiet voice. "But only if you can make me forget."

There was a moment of silence as Chikage thought about Izaya's sincerity before Izaya suddenly found himself against the bed instead, Chikage rolling them over so he was on top. The auburn-haired teen looked at Izaya seriously before he leaned down and spoke against Izaya's collar bone, his breath hot and tickling the raven's skin. "If it helps, you can imagine I'm him instead."

That was easy for Izaya to do, the similarities of Chikage and _him _already evident in his mind.

Their movements were hurried as they stripped each other of their clothes, theirs hands eagerly grabbing at each other and their lips ravenously tasting each other. Izaya could already feel the edges of his mind becoming numb, surrendering to the pleasure. The fingers touching him left hot trails down his bare skin. His breaths came out in short pants and gasps. His skin was flushed and his eyes hazed as everything around him became unfocused. He only concentrated on the feeling of those hands tracing the contours of his body, finding sensitive spots that Izaya didn't even realize he had before.

_Forget. Forget. Forget. Forget. Forget._

It was chanted like a mantra in his head before even those words started to fade. Izaya sighed pleasurably as he finally looked up into those coffee colored eyes. That guy smiled down at Izaya, his eyes gentle and loving. Almost like how they used to be, instead of that hateful look Izaya had last seen in them. Their lips touched softly, almost hesitantly, as his hands made Izaya's body heat up and squirm.

"Shizu-chan," Izaya sighed, too focused on those coffee eyes staring at him. There was a slight gleam in them, a spark of recognition then sadness before they became determined. His hands and lips attacked with more ferocity, not leaving any spot of his skin unblemished or untouched. Izaya gasped and moaned, arching more into those pleasurable touches. His mind was completely blank at that point, and he reveled in the bliss of being detached from the world for once. No memories haunted him. It was just him in that moment, with the fantasies fueling his happiness. "Shizu-chan, Shizu-chan, Shizu-chan, Shizu-chan…"

He chanted his name so softly it was almost inaudible as he held onto the body looming above his. Everything around him was blurred as he unraveled completely to the pleasure, letting his mind lose itself in the dreams he imagined. The dreams of happier times. The times they used to smile together. They times they played together. The times they just simply stayed near each other, that closeness being the only thing they needed. The times he dearly missed.

"_Izaya,_" his voice whispered in his ear. Izaya moaned in response, clutching onto him tighter. His breathing was more erratic, the pleasure peaking inside of him. He was so close…so close…

Izaya let out a cry as he came, collapsing in the next moment with heavy breaths. His mind was spinning and his eyes drooped. A warm, gentle hand pushed his hair out of his face, a soft voice speaking to him, "_Go to sleep, Izaya._"

He listened to the voice, the weariness taking over as he closed his eyes completely, letting his mind fade to darkness as he got peaceful sleep. Finally, some peaceful sleep.

* * *

><p>The next day, when they awoke, Izaya acted like nothing had happened and told Chikage that while he was grateful for his help, Izaya decided he wanted to fix himself with his own power. Chikage was happy to hear this but a bit apprehensive at first, watching Izaya carefully and making sure the raven kept his word. But over the next few days, the teen noticed the change in his roommate. No new scars appeared on Izaya's legs. The raven had also stopped seeking the company of other men. Izaya even started being a bit more cheerful, smiling a little more freely and actually chatting with more classmates. The raven seemed to have lost that cold edge to him. And while Chikage should have been relieved at this, it actually troubled him a bit, making him wonder if Izaya was just forcing himself to deal with everything alone.<p>

But soon Chikage found out what Izaya's new outlet for his frustration was.

"Um, Izaya, what is this?" Chikage questioned. He had returned to their room and found papers scattered about Izaya's bed and desk, the raven's laptop open with several chat windows on it as he typed away. Izaya leaned back in his swivel chair, looking at his roommate with a wide smile.

"Ah, this? Just a new hobby of mine~"

"Which is…?" Chikage trailed off, curiously peeking at the papers and surprised to see some information about a top notch company on it. The papers were quickly snatched from his view and Chikage watched with slight surprise as Izaya quickly gathered up the papers and filed them away in folders, sticking them in a small cabinet he kept under his desk. Chikage narrowed his eyes suspiciously at his friend, "It's not anything dangerous, is it?"

Izaya laughed cheerfully, waving his hand as he shook his head, "Of course not, Chikage~ I promise this completely safe. All I'm doing is just expanding my knowledge of the world."

Chikage was still a bit skeptical but sighed and accepted it. It didn't seem like it was hurting Izaya, as the raven was much better than he had been before. And anything was better than letting Izaya resort to cutting himself again. "Just don't do anything stupid, alright?"

Somehow that sly, mysterious smile that spread across Izaya's face didn't reassure Chikage, "Me? Do something stupid? Haha, you're so funny, Chikage~!"

Chikage didn't like how uneasy he felt about Izaya's words, and he didn't like how he couldn't shake the feeling off.

* * *

><p>Another end to another school year. The thought of graduation always made him bitter and now it was finally here.<p>

"Izaya!" The raven turned around at the sound of the familiar voice, smiling a little more softly at the sight of his friend who had stuck by him the past four years. The friend who had done so much for him. And the friend he was now about to part with. Rokujo Chikage returned his smile, ruffling Izaya's hair. "We finally made it, huh?"

"Hm, I guess so," Izaya responded with a tight, forced smile. Chikage seemed to detect this and frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Izaya insisted, though he knew right away that Chikage could sense his lie.

"You're lying."

Izaya paused for a moment, looking up at the sky as cherry blossoms fluttered throughout the air, signaling the end of spring. "I'm going to attend a high school in Ikebukuro."

For a moment the only thing that could be heard was the chatter of excited, freshly graduated students and the wind rushing cherry blossoms through the air. Chikage looked at Izaya with his wide, coffee brown eyes. No one else would have known the meaning of the raven's words besides Chikage. Because Chikage was the only one who knew what had happened to Izaya back in that town. And who awaited Izaya there. "So you're heading back to your hometown, eh?"

"Uh huh," was all Izaya replied as he clasped his hands behind his back, turning to smile reassuringly at his friend. "I'll be fine."

But Chikage didn't trust his words. Because even though Izaya smiled, the smile never reached his eyes.

* * *

><p><strong><em>You know how they say time heals all wounds? Well, he wondered why they never specified on just how much time. Because four years definitely didn't feel like enough. <em>**

* * *

><p><strong>So I hope you guys don't hate me for this chapter and the little ChikageIzaya thing it had going on. XD But yeah for the fast update~! I hope this can satisfy you guys until after finals because I'll be uber busy next week studying my butt off. Ugh, finals… =.=**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing like always guys! ^^ Your reviews seriously make my day all the time!**

**-Xaleria**


	17. Shizuo & Izaya 3

**Thankfully found some time in between studying to finish writing this chapter and post it. I am so tired of school already…but yes! It's almost over (for me anyway)! ^_^ And I hope you guys have great winter breaks as well! Hopefully with my break, I'll have more free time to write~!**

**Oh, AND THANKS SO MUCH EVERYONE! :D I've gotten over 200+ reviews for this story (first time ever!) and a bunch of favorites and alerts which just makes me so happy! None of my stories have ever been as loved as this one so I'm super happy that everyone loves my story so much. Really thanks so much! *bows***

**WARNING: **I probably should have mentioned this last chapter, but I guess better late than never? Aha. Ahem, anyway, please keep in mind that there will be mentions of **suicide/self harm** in this chapter. If this offends anyone or makes you feel uncomfortable, please feel free to skip that part (will mark it with a –x-X-x- before it). I also do not mean to be offensive to cutters or anybody else if they do not agree with my views/phrasing on it in this story. If you happen to not agree with me, by all means feel free to state your opinion and I will gladly respond to you. However, if you are rude in your remark, do keep in mind I will respond to you in the same manner.

**Thank you very much guys, hope you enjoy this chapter! Sorry for the long wait!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters.**

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><p><strong>Shizuo &amp; Izaya<strong>

_**People say that what happened in the past belongs in the past. That what already happened should not be their concern, that what's happening now should be their focus, and that what will happen should be their hope. **_

_**The Past.**_

_**The Present.**_

_**The Future.**_

_**But how could he hold hope for a better future if the present was horrible and the past kept reminding him of the reason why it would always be horrible?**_

* * *

><p>"Good morning Shizuo~!" Fifteen years old Heiwajima Shizuo grunted as he was assaulted from behind, his friend Kishitani Shinra throwing himself at the blonde with a wide grin. "Are you excited for your 'high school experience'?"<p>

"Not really," Shizuo grumbled as he shrugged Shinra off, glaring at nothing in particular as he continued walking towards the high school, Shinra tagging along beside him chattering about his girlfriend Celty.

Shizuo didn't really want to go to school, and probably wouldn't have if his mother hadn't forced him. He sighed bitterly. School had always been really boring. Especially since…Shizuo shook his head, frowning as the unpleasant memories of his past resurfaced in his mind. He didn't like thinking about it because it made him miserable every time he did. The scene would always replay over and over in his head and he'd wonder…

Why the hell had he done that? Why the hell had he let his anger get to him? If he had just kept his temper down, or if he had just apologized for whatever it was he did wrong. If only it were possible to turn back time…to go back and fix everything. And then maybe…

Aw, who was he kidding? Nothing would ever change what had already happened. The past was the past, and he couldn't do anything about that. "Oh, by the way, Shizuo, did you hear that Iz—" Shinra started to say but was interrupted by the squealing of girls. Both the brunette and blonde turned to the source of noise, Shinra just grinning with amusement while Shizuo rolled his eyes. Their friend Delic smiled charmingly at all the girls surrounding him, talking to them smoothly as they all swooned at the sound of his baritone voice.

"Mornin' guys," Delic greeted as he finally tore himself away from his group of fangirls, giving his trademark smirk to his friends.

"Good morning, Delic. I see your fan club has increased in membership again," Shinra commented as Shizuo just sighed exasperatedly while shaking his head.

"Ah, has it?" Delic murmured as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "I haven't really noticed."

"Hm, you haven't really noticed anything lately but your new neighbor, eh?" Shinra teased as a blush spread across Delic's cheeks, the pink eyed blonde glaring at Shinra. Shizuo tuned them out as they began to argue, ambling his way to school with a tired expression. He briefly wondered what Shinra was trying to tell him before they were interrupted but shrugged it off as he stuffed his hands in his pockets, dreading the day already. The trio of friends ended up meeting Kadota along the way and they all talked together as they arrived at school. Their high school, Raira Academy and formally known as Raijin, had just merged with another nearby school this year so there was a sea of mixed blue blazer and black gakuran uniforms as students excitedly chatted with their friends, checked out the class assignments, and prepared for the opening ceremony.

"Ah! We're all in the same class!" Shinra pointed out as the four them looked at the board of class assignments. "So lucky~!"

Shizuo didn't bother looking at the rest of the names once he found his own, not really interested in his other classmates. Instead he looked around the school with a bored expression, thinking this is where he would be for the next three years. A flash of black and red then caught his attention as he looked up at a balcony in the school building, but there was no one there. The blonde blinked in confusion, wondering if he was seeing things. He could have sworn there was a person standing there a few moments ago.

But he was torn from his thoughts when Shinra suddenly called out to him, saying that it was time for the opening ceremony. They next few hours were dull as Shizuo almost fell asleep listening to the principal, student council president, and number one student in their class talk and greet the new students. After all of that finished, they were finally able to head back to their classroom where their teacher called roll and everyone introduced themselves.

Shizuo just simply stated his name and his middle school, saying with a monotone voice that he liked strawberries as his special 'about himself' fact. Delic of course stood with flourish with girls already fawning over him as he talked about his love for music. Kadota was just a simple as Shizuo, saying that he liked interior design as his hobby, while Shinra got up a bit too cheerfully and almost started going on a rant about his beautiful girlfriend, and future wife, Celty. Shizuo was almost starting to nod off as the teacher went down the roll.

"Ori—" The teacher was interrupted when the door to the classroom suddenly slid open, a person adorned in a shortened black gakuran jacket with a red v neck shirt and the black pants stepping inside. Shizuo felt his heart stop as his eyes widened with shock, taking in the sight of the pale, lithe person with dark hair and twinkling scarlet eyes, a cattish smirk spreading across their face.

"Orihara Izaya here~! Hello everyone!"

It had been four years since Shizuo had last seen him, and physically he still looked the same. But the cold, calculating look in his red eyes and the slight wicked tone in his smile told Shizuo this was not the same person he used to know.

This was not his best friend.

* * *

><p>Orihara Izaya plastered a wide smile on his face, trying to hide the anxiety he felt inside. His heart thumped like crazy in his chest, like it could somehow sense that <em>he <em>was nearby. Four years had gone by and he had changed a little bit, but Izaya still knew it was him. He knew it was him right away.

He had dyed his brown hair to blonde, which Izaya admitted didn't look bad on him although the raven missed the dark locks, and he looked a lot angrier than he had as a child. Izaya wondered why that was so, but he was still handsome, even more so now that they were older. He had grown taller, his body more toned and noticeable under the school uniform. He still oozed those goddamn pheromones that attracted Izaya like bees to honey. He still had those bright, coffee colored eyes that made Izaya's pulse quicken as his entire body felt warm.

He still loved Heiwajima Shizuo.

And he hated that fact.

"Izaya! You're back!" Izaya turned towards the familiar voice, giving Shinra a friendly smile.

"Of course I am! Did ya miss me?" Izaya winked cutely and almost laughed by how flustered he saw Shizuo get from the corner of his eyes. Before anyone could say anything else, the teacher cleared his throat and pointedly looked at Izaya in warning. Izaya just flashed him a charming smile and said, "Sorry sensei!" before heading off to his seat in the back.

Every step he took he could feel Shizuo's eyes on him. It made his skin feel like it was burning as Izaya took his seat, trying to appear as casual as possible. He didn't dare look at Shizuo or show any recognition. He felt that if he looked at those coffee colored eyes he would end up getting lost in them. He wasn't here to do that.

The only reason he came back was to show Shizuo he didn't care. To show that he was just fine without Shizuo. Actually, that he was more than fine, he was fantastic! It didn't matter what had happened between them in the past! He was beyond that.

And yet…

"_Yeah, well I hate you too."_

Those words wouldn't leave his mind and the ache in his heart wouldn't leave him alone.

* * *

><p>The bell rang, signaling the end of their first day of school which was a short day. Once the sound chimed, Izaya quickly got up and out of his seat, hurrying out of the classroom. He wasn't sure how much longer he could stand being in the same room as Shizuo.<p>

"Izaya!" At the sound of his voice, now deepening with the onset of puberty, Izaya froze in his tracks. He didn't dare turn around, lest he betray the hurt and conflicted emotions spreading across his face before he built up his emotionless mask he had been working on for the past four years. Izaya silently took in a deep breath, letting his fake, confident smile take over his face before he turned around.

"Long time, no see, Shizu-chan," he chirped as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. "How have you been?"

Shizuo seemed to be conflicted, opening his mouth to say something but stopping before he did and then opening his mouth again before he stopped once more. "Fine," Shizuo finally managed to say gruffly, stuffing his own hands in his pockets and looking nonchalant himself. "What about you?"

Izaya narrowed his eyes slightly as his smile disappeared, a scowl replacing it. Fine? Fine? Four years later and Shizuo's just 'fine'? And here Izaya was, _suffering_, _**agonizing**_, over everything that happened because he let the past still affect him. And suddenly Izaya could feel the anger building inside him. His hands curled into fists in his pockets, one of them tightening around the flickblade he always kept on himself. And then he let it go, smiling widely at the bewildered Shizuo as he stepped towards the blonde, leaning in close. "Me? Oh, I've been fantastic, Shizu-chan. Just great. In fact I wanted to see you again." Izaya smirked at the confusion evident on Shizuo's face before he whipped out his flickblade, making a shallow cut across Shizuo's chest. There was scream from some passerby who noticed what happened as the blonde reached up to his chest in shock, blood staining his fingers. Izaya laughed cheerfully as he held his flickblade pointed towards Shizuo. "I wanted to let you know that nothing's changed Shizu-chan. I still hate you."

And as he saw the anger flash across those coffee colored eyes, he felt his heart wrench in pain.

_I still hate you._

_Because I still love you._

* * *

><p>"Fuck," Izaya cursed as he spat out some blood in his mouth, the bitter coopery taste still on his tongue. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand, wincing when his bruises bumped together. "When did Shizu-chan become so damn strong?"<p>

After cutting Shizuo the blonde had ended up beating Izaya up and then the two began a chase throughout school and then Ikebukuro, Izaya running and Shizuo chasing after him. Somehow, even though it was anger-fueled, it made Izaya feel a bit better. At least Shizuo was paying attention to him. At least in some way, Shizuo was chasing him. Izaya laughed bitterly to himself as he leaned against the wall of the building he stood next to. He had managed to lose Shizuo, but now that he was alone he could feel the depression starting to sink in. Four years…and nothing had changed from the last time they saw each other. Shizuo still hated him. He had said so during their chase, yelling Izaya's name and calling him a 'damn flea'. Izaya laughed again. So he was parasite was he?

He didn't know when his laughs had turned into sobs, or when his body began to tremble and he had curled up into a vulnerable little ball. He hated crying. He really did. It was a weakness. But he couldn't help the overflow of emotions swelling in his chest, making it hurt, making the tears pool in his eyes and spill over. He wasn't sure how long he had been crying before a voice called out.

"My, my, how pitiful." Izaya gasped slightly as he looked up, furiously wiping the tears from his eyes as they met the cold, steely dark ones of a man adorned in a white suit with a black shirt. The man looked down at Izaya with a curious expression. "Why are you crying, boy?"

"I'm not crying!" Izaya retorted with an angry expression as he glared up at the man.

The man just laughed though, shaking his head, "Ah, the stubborn type I see. Not willing to admit a weakness?"

"What weakness? I said I wasn't crying!" Izaya growled as he scrambled up on his feet, glaring at the man. "Who the fuck are you anyway?"

The man was silent, curiously studying Izaya before he smirked, leaning back and reaching into his suit to pull out a business card. He held it out to Izaya who looked at it in confusion before he took it. "What is this supposed to be…Shiki-san?" Izaya furrowed his brow as he read the name on the card, a phone number underneath it. Besides that and some weird insignia he didn't recognize there was nothing else on the card.

"My number," Shiki simply said as he began to walk away. "You seem like a talented young boy. Give me a call if you ever want to grow up and put your talent to use."

And then he left Izaya in that alleyway, the business card still in the raven's hands as he thought about Shiki's words.

* * *

><p>-x-X-x-<p>

That night Izaya returned home, ignoring his mother's worried calls after him as he rushed up to the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. He stripped off his clothes, turning on the shower and not caring what temperature the water was. His hands shook badly, used to the presence of a knife in them, as he stepped under the water, letting the cool droplets hit against his bruised skin. Izaya gingerly touched the bruises on his arms and stomach, wincing even at the minimal contact. He looked down at his body, the dark coloring standing out against his pale skin, but what stood out even more to him were the scars on his thighs.

He had chosen to cut there because who searched for scars there? Cutting on their arms were what most people associated with cutters. Nobody who didn't do it themselves would think that some were smart enough to hide it on their legs. Because cutting on their arms is when they were desperate and wanted someone to notice and help them. Cutting on their legs is when they wanted to hide their pain and suffer alone. But it's not like Izaya wanted to die. He wasn't suicidal despite the cutting. He wanted to live just as much as the next person. He just didn't know any other way to vent his pain. To stop the negative thoughts and the depression. And he wanted help as well, he really did. It was just his stubbornness and fear that held him back. He wanted to fix this himself, but at the same time he knew he couldn't do it alone. But he also was afraid. What would people think when they saw him? Saw his weakness? Saw how much a broken heart had affected him?

At that moment his hands twitched, itching to clamp around the handle of his flickblade and press the silver blade to his skin, watching the crimson liquid stain it and flow down his pale skin…

Suddenly Chikage's face appeared in his mind, a sad expression on his friend's face as he spoke softly, "_I thought you promised me you'd stop that, Izaya_."

"What else am I supposed to do, Chikage?" Izaya whispered, laughing bitterly as he realized he had resorted to talking to his own delusion. He really must be crazy! "What else is going to make me forget? What else is going to make him disappear!" Izaya clutched at his chest now, his eyes stinging with threatening tears again.

The illusion of Chikage looked down at him sadly, "_Didn't you say you were going to fix yourself? You've got to be stronger than this, Izaya_."

"I know!" Izaya growled, glaring at his former roommate. But soon the fight left him as he looked at the ground, his shoulders slouching and his voice softer, "I know…but it still hurts so much."

He guessed his delusion didn't have anything to say to that because there was no response, and he was all alone in the shower again, the water having turned cold and still beating down on Izaya's back as his body shivered. It made his entire body numb with coldness. But it didn't numb the pain, his heart still wrenching painfully in his chest.

But he didn't dare reach for his flickblade he knew lied outside the shower with his clothes. Like Chikage said, he had to stronger than that. Even if it hurt, even if his heart broke into tiny little pieces that there was nothing else left to break, he would have to stronger than that.

And so he pulled on his emotionless mask again, hiding how he really felt as he turned the shower off and got out, reaching for a towel to dry himself.

The scars would remain hidden for the time being and he'd still suffer alone.

* * *

><p>"Orihara-san, it's time to get up." His scarlet eyes cracked open at the sound of the feminine voice, a yawn escaping his mouth as he sat up and stretched. One of his secretaries, Mikajima Saki, stood beside his bed with a cup of coffee ready in her hands and a smile on her face. "Good morning, Orihara-san."<p>

"Hnn," was all the twenty-three years old man said in response as he took the cup and began to drink, not being a morning person until he had a good cup of coffee.

Saki did not seem to mind his attitude, going about listing what Izaya was supposed to do today as the raven got out of bed and walked towards the bathroom, splashing water in his face. He glared at his reflection in the mirror, not liking how tired he looked. "Saki," he said, interrupting the girl's monologue as she responded, "Yes?"

"What's the date today?" Izaya asked as he turned to look at her, a frown on his face. Something just didn't feel right about today, and it didn't help that he had some unpleasant dreams last night.

"Today's the sixteenth, why?" Saki asked with a curious expression.

_Ah, no wonder_, Izaya thought as he just shook his head, shutting the door to the bathroom so he could shower.

Today was _that day_.

That would explain why he had those kinds of dreams last night. As Izaya turned on the shower, he felt his hands twitch in anticipation, a ghost response of his old habit. His scarlet eyes trailed down to his legs were aged scars stared back at him. But Izaya just sighed, stepping inside the shower and relaxing under the warm rush of water.

He had gotten quite good at being able to ignore the pain now, even though there were some times he would remember and feel helpless. And the scars still remained, reminding of his past, disrupting his present, and killing his hope for the future.

* * *

><p><strong>Man, this chapter broke even my heart as I wrote it. D: I hope despite it's sort of depressing content it was enjoyable. And I promise this story will get better! …Eventually.<strong>

**Also, I apologize if there's a lot of grammar mistakes in here. I swear I proofread but my brain is sort of fried from finals so I may have missed some things.**

**As always, thanks for reading and reviewing~! :D**

**-Xaleria**


	18. Shizuo & Izaya 4

**Thanks for being patient everyone! :) I'll try to have the next chapter up soon, but in the meantime my wonderful beta Sunny has gone over this chapter and made it more coherent (And after rereading what I originally wrote I've decided I make really silly mistakes when half-asleep and typing. XD. I've reposted it with the corrections so a huge thanks to her~**

**I hope you enjoy this revised chapter! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters. **

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><p><strong>Shizuo &amp; Izaya<strong>

_**What is love without an obstacle? All great loves always meet an obstacle of sorts. Theirs was no different. Because without an obstacle, how is love realized? How is love fought for? An obstacle brings everything people try so hard to deny to the forefront. And when those feelings finally get the attention they deserve, they are always hard to ignore and deny.**_

_**Because without obstacles, wouldn't love just be fake and never progressing?**_

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><p><strong>Miaka:<strong> That's such a depressing thing to say, Kanra-san. ('A`)

**Kanra:** Ah~ But it's true, my dear Miachi! Love stories just wouldn't be interesting without a twist or an obstacle for the two lovers to face!

**Miaka:** I suppose you're right…

**Kanra:** Ara, see what I mean? (・｀ω´・) In fact, who knows, maybe you and your cute, blushing lover will soon meet with an obstacle~

**Miaka:** D-Do-Don't say such things! You'll jinx us! Σ(-`Д´-ﾉ)ﾉ

**Kanra:** Aww, how mean Miachi! Are you trying to imply that I'll do something bad? ヽ(≧Д≦)ノ

**Miaka:** Well…it is you, Kanra-san.（-＿-；) You have a knack for such things.

**Kanra:** So mean Miachi! o(TTATT)o

Izaya chuckled to himself as his online friend apologized, but still warned him not to do anything. Miaka knew him and his devious, meddling ways maybe a bit too well. Not that he would do anything, of course, but while he wouldn't admit it to Miaka, Izaya was actually quite happy to see his friend had finally found someone to love. At the very least, his friend could enjoy love despite what a horrible thing Izaya thought it was. Love was just a painful emotion to him, but that didn't mean it had to be for everyone, much to his envy.

"We've finished the filing you wanted done, Orihara-san," a voice broke through his thoughts. Izaya looked up at his other secretary. The girl's brown eyes stared at him behind her circular lens of her glasses as she held out the finished files to Izaya.

"Why thank you, Anri-chan," Izaya said in an overly sweet sing song voice, taking the files and storing them away in a drawer in his desk. He then checked the time on his computer screen and smiled gleefully, bidding Miaka goodbye and then shutting off the machine. He whistled a cheery tune as he got up from his swivel chair, pulled his signature fur jacket off the back of it and on himself in one fluid motion. He grabbed some knives and his trusty flick blade from his desk drawer and tucked the weapons in his pockets before he grabbed his cell phone and stuffed it into the same jacket pocket. "I'm going out, Anri-chan, Saki. I've left you some more files to put away on my desk. Ciao~!"

He shut the door behind him before the girls could even say anything in response. Once the door was closed and he was alone in the hallway, he let his mask fall. Just for a moment. A deep frown settled on his face, weariness visible in his expression for just a moment. But in the next second it was gone—replaced by the cold, uncaring smile he had learned to master over the years. His eyes were sharper and more emotionless as the scarlet in those irises were fired up in a way that incited fear in people.

Cold. Emotionless. Heartless. This was exactly how he was supposed to be.

He took in a deep breath in and then out with a sigh. The smile on his face widened before he continued his humming and practically danced towards the elevator. He wouldn't let the unpleasant dreams he had the other day get him down. Those dreams—no, those memories—wouldn't affect him at all. He had work to do, and there was no room for petty emotions in his line of work. Things like love didn't belong here. Things like pain didn't belong here. Or at least, not _this pain_. Love, heartbreak, pain—all of it just had to disappear from his mind.

So he focused his mind on work as he pressed the button for the ground floor to make his way out into the streets of Shinjuku, where he presently lived. He would go out there and ruin someone else's life so that maybe someone else could suffer like to see just how meaningful love was to them. Because it sure as hell never did much good for him.

* * *

><p>"You're a fucking monster!" the young man screamed at his partner as he threw a pillow in the man's face.<p>

"What the hell did I do!" his partner demanded back, as confusion and anger spread across his face.

"Don't you fucking try to act all innocent! I saw the damn pictures! You were with _her _all night last night, weren't you? Even though it was…!" The young man didn't finish, shaking his head in anger as tears threatened to spill from his eyes.

"What the fuck are you talking about? I was never with her!"

"Liar!" the young man hissed. "Are you trying to tell me that these are fake?"

Pictures were thrown at the partner's face as he tried his best to shield it. But the evidence was crystal clear as the photos depicted the man with a pretty young woman on his arm as they chatted.

"Where did you get these?"

"Does it matter where I got it! You lied to me! You said you weren't going to ever see her again!" the young man was shaking with building rage. His eyes flashed angrily and his mouth settled into a tight, firm line. "You know what, forget it! I'm through with this. I'm done being treated like I'm your mistress instead of your lover!"

"Wait!" the man tried to entreat after the young man. "Wait, don't leave!" But the young man had already stormed out the door, leaving his partner confused and angry himself at what had occurred.

Izaya laughed from his viewing spot on the rooftop across from their apartment. He pulled down the headphones after he listened in on their conversation due to the very tiny and flat bugs he had meticulously implanted in the photos he had given the young man. Planting a seed of doubt in the young man about his partner's fidelity had been quite easy for Izaya, given that the older partner had recently got divorced and out of closet. It was almost laughable at how easy it was to break apart their relationship. Love was just so fragile, like a thin glass string that easily snapped in half with just a tiny tug. And then that glass poked both involved parties' fingers, making them bleed more than they thought they would. Love wasn't happy. Love only caused pain.

"Childish as always, I see."

Izaya barely reacted to the sound of the familiar cool, cutting voice as the click of high heels sounded behind him before coming to stop. He felt her presence close to his back as she leaned over his shoulder slightly, her long dark hair sliding forward and making a curtain around her sharp featured face. Her eyes narrowed into slits and a scowl marred her face. She was always scowling, never smiling unless speaking about her creepy obsession with her brother. Izaya didn't really like his rival, Yagiri Namie, and he was pretty sure she disliked—which was actually a pretty light word to describe her feelings—him as well. "Still playing all these heartbreaker games of yours, Orihara-san?"

"Yes, it's a fascinating hobby of mine; perhaps you should try it out sometime." Izaya kept his tone light and sarcastic, though his expression narrowed suspiciously. It wasn't every day Namie approached him willingly. Of course, because of their similar jobs, he often did run in the same circles as her, but they both pointedly tried to avoid each other at all costs because they knew both of them never liked each other ever since they were kids growing up in the same school. So when one of them approached the other, it was usually because they were testing each other, and Izaya wasn't in the mood to play Namie's games at the moment. "What do you want, Namie-chan?"

"Why do you assume I want something from_ you_?" she sneered, upturning her nose in disgust as she crossed her arms.

"Then why are you talking to me?"

"Simply because I want to," Namie stated as a matter-of-factly, pretending to be studying something else that caught her eye as she crossed her arms. "How is Heiwajima-san doing these days?"

Izaya's eyes narrowed even more as his tone lowered dangerously in warning, "I wouldn't know."

"Oh? Really?" Namie's tone was a bit higher, challenging him. "Hm. And here I thought you were keeping such a close eye on him."

"What are you getting at?"

"Nothing." Namie smiled innocently, though the wicked glint in her eyes was obvious. "I was simply just curious." She then turned around, seeming to leave, but her voice still spoke aloud to Izaya even as she began to walk away. "But you know Orihara-san, no matter how many hearts you cause to break; it'll never do anything to fix your own."

Izaya, outwardly, ignored her jab at him as he heard her footsteps fade. But his hands shook with withheld fury as her words pierced through his chest. Of course he knew that. Of course these games really did nothing for him but entertain. He knew. He knew it wouldn't fix anything. Because the past was the past, and no matter what he did in the present, he was unable to change that. And perhaps that is what frustrated him the most.

* * *

><p>Shizuo sighed wearily as he lugged some heavy boxes from a storage room to the locker room. He hadn't been getting much sleep the last few days, haunted by nightmares of his past. He muttered angrily to himself, wishing it would all just go away as he practically banged open the locker room door…and then almost dropped the box of Italian style glasses he was carrying.<p>

"S-Se-Senpai!" Kida squeaked, his face turning bright red. Shizuo's coffee eyes took in the sight of the blushing blonde kid pinned under the body of his raven-haired classmate, Mikado having a grip on Kida's open shirt, some buttons missing. It didn't take a rocket scientist, which Shizuo was certainly not, to put two and two together as Shizuo noted the tell-tale hickeys on Kida's neck, the blonde's slight ragged breathing, and the look of pure annoyance in Mikado's eyes.

'_Well damn_,_'_ Shizuo thought as he slowly put the box of glasses down. He always suspected there was a thing between the two boys who were best friends, but the blonde barista had never thought that seemingly shy and scatterbrained Mikado was actually the **seme** of the relationship. _'I guess you really can't judge a book by its cover.'_

"Ahem," Shizuo cleared his throat rather awkwardly. "While I honestly don't care what kind of relationship you two are in, I think doing these sorts of things at work is not really the best idea."

"No—wait—you got the wrong idea, Senpai!" Kida quickly tried to cover up, pushing off Mikado and, if possible, his face turned a few shades darker. "I was just—Mikado was—!"

Shizuo arched an eyebrow, really thinking it was unbelievable that the kid really thought he could convince Shizuo otherwise of what occurred. Mikado again just looked annoyed as he rolled his eyes at Kida's attempt to explain. The blonde child, sensing that neither really would believe him, ended up declaring, "I think I hear Tom-san calling for me!" before rushing out of the locker room.

The blonde barista and raven waiter ended up meeting eyes then, the raven scowling towards Shizuo, "It would be best to knock next time, Senpai."

"How about doing that somewhere a little more private next time instead?" Shizuo frowned as Mikado stood up and began walking past Shizuo. But for some reason Shizuo reached out and stopped Mikado, making the raven turn around and look at him questionably. "Hey…you're serious about that kid, aren't you?"

Shizuo didn't really understand why he was asking such a thing, but he suspected it had something to do with his recent nightmares. The fact that Mikado and Kida were best friends, just as he and Izaya had been, and the fact that they now were exploring their different feelings, it was all too easy for them to get hurt and for their relationship to break apart. Love…complicated things. And while the two of them drove him crazy sometimes, Shizuo didn't really want either of them to feel the way he felt over losing his best friend.

Mikado seemed to sense the warning and concern behind Shizuo's question, his eyes softening slightly as he spoke quietly, "Of course I am. I don't want to hurt him. He's my best friend after all."

Hearing that relieved Shizuo, but at the same time, it made him slightly nervous. He too had never wanted to hurt Izaya but had ended up doing that anyway. It had just happened.

Mikado left after answering Shizuo's question, no doubt to look for his blonde counterpart's hiding spot. Shizuo remained in the locker room, drowning in his thoughts.

Didn't people usually say that when best friends try to become lovers, it either doesn't work out and they lose touch, or that it does work out and they love each other forever? Shizuo secretly hoped that Mikado and Kida would be a pair that could be the latter, because he never even had a chance to move onto the lovers stage with his own best friend.

Because hatred had ending up consuming their relationship, severing their ties to each other slowly until it was the only thing left keeping them together along with the heartbreak. But Shizuo was actually a little bit happy at that fact.

It was okay to be hated. It was okay to feel the pain of his broken heart. As long as it somehow still connected him to Izaya, he sort of didn't care. Because he just needed something to grasp onto until he learned how to let go.

* * *

><p>Mikajima Saki hummed a sweet tune as she straightened out the files by gently pounding them against her desk. She then placed them neatly inside the pocket folders inside a file cabinet before sliding the drawer closed just as the phone rang. "Orihara Izaya's office," she answered. "How may I help you?"<p>

Her eyes then widened and she allowed a small gasp to escape her mouth, "Oh my! I'm so sorry! I totally forgot you were arriving today! Orihara-san is out at the moment. I'm really so sorry you can't meet up with him." She then paused as the other person on the phone spoke. "Where is he? Um, hold on a moment."

Saki placed a hand over the receiver as she turned to Anri. "Anri-chan, you wouldn't happen to know where Izaya-san is right now, do you?"

Anri looked up from her own work, frowning slightly before she checked the clock then turned back to Saki, "Actually, he usually visits that small café around this time today. You know, that one with the French name? What was it? Ah! La Petite Étoile!"

"Ohh! Thanks so much Anri-chan!" Saki smiled gratefully as she returned to the person on the phone. "Sir? If you would like to meet up with him, Izaya-san will be at the café, La Petite Étoile, right now. Directions from the Sunshine building? Sure! Do you have a pen and paper ready? Alright, first you would go…" Saki rattled off some directions to the person before saying goodbye and hanging up.

"Who was that by the way?" Anri inquired curiously as she looked up at Saki.

"Ah, an old friend of Izaya-san's that's visiting Ikebukuro. He called a few days ago saying he was coming to visit and that he wanted to see Izaya-san, but I forgot to let Izaya-san know." Saki answered her with a slightly embarrassed look on her face.

"Oh? What's his name?"

Saki thought for a moment, recalling it, "Ah! I believe he said it was Rokujo Chikage."

* * *

><p>Izaya walked slowly towards the café he made a habit of visiting every time this day. It wasn't really the coffee or the cookies that mattered to him. Rather it was the man behind the bar making them that attracted Izaya to La Petite Étoile. The raven sometimes chastised himself for going there so often just to see <em>him<em>, but even when he tried to avoid the café, Izaya somehow always found his feet leading him towards the café. He mostly sat outside, letting one of the waiter boys serve him and while keeping out of Shizuo's line of sight. He would then order some coffee, black of course, and then sit and study Shizuo. Izaya always argued with himself that it was all for the purpose of gathering information about his enemy, but he inwardly knew it was because he missed the blonde. And these visits to the café were the only time Izaya could see Shizuo without the blonde yelling curses at him or trying to chase him down and beat him up. It saddened him a little bit that this was the only time he could see the best friend he missed and, unfortunately, still loved without them fighting. But Izaya guessed it was better than nothing.

Sighing sadly as he took his regular seat outside, Izaya looked around with a bored expression while waiting for one of the waiter boys to show up. He then spotted a regular at the café that he had only noticed because the man was quite similar to how Shizuo looked. He was tall and slightly lankier than Shizuo, but had similar messy blonde hair, and he also had scarlet eyes like Izaya. Izaya had noticed him a few months back when he started coming here regularly, and when he started meeting up with a lithe raven-haired, scarlet-eyed man much like Izaya himself. Izaya knew they were a couple. They made it quite obvious. It was so easy to see their feelings towards each other in their eyes.

'_Ah, if only Shizuo and I could be like that,'_ Izaya seethed with envy as he watched the blonde man greet his raven lover with a bright smile on his face, making the raven lover blush slightly although a small smile crept up on his lips. Izaya's eyes briefly flickered back to the blonde inside the café working at the bar, mixing together a drink. There was a slight tug in his chest and it ached more the longer Izaya looked. But it was difficult to tear his eyes away.

"Izaya!" The sudden shout of his name jolted him from his daze as Izaya turned towards the source of the voice, his eyes widening in surprise as he saw who it was.

"Chikage?"

His former roommate and old friend stood with a cheerful smile as he waved to Izaya. Those coffee colored eyes of his were soft and caring as they usually were as Chikage approached Izaya. "Hey, long time no see."

"What are you doing here?" Izaya asked, his tone a bit curious and his expression a bit happy to see his old friend. Relief filled Izaya in that moment as he realized that despite how he had treated Chikage in the beginning of their friendship and despite being away from each other so many years; Izaya had managed to keep one friend close to him.

"What, I can't visit an old friend?" Chikage joked as he sat down next to Izaya. His eyes then softened somewhat as he looked at Izaya, softly reaching out to place his hand against Izaya's cheek, "How're you doing?"

To anyone else, that question would have been quite normal and standard, but Izaya understood the deeper meaning of Chikage's words. His eyes became a bit guarded at first before they too softened under Chikage's serious stare. "I'm fine."

For a few seconds Chikage just studied him seriously, looking for what Izaya wouldn't say aloud in the silent words of his body language. Seeming to have found his answer, Chikage smiled softly at him as he spoke quietly, "I'm glad to hear that."

And somehow hearing those words from Chikage made Izaya feel a bit better, but only because Chikage was the only one who seemed to care enough for him. The thought of that made Izaya's heart break just a little more as it yearned for another man with coffee colored eyes to show that he cared instead.

* * *

><p>Shizuo would never admit aloud that he had long ago discovered that Izaya came to the café at this time on this day. He pretended that he never noticed Izaya, though he always took a peek at Izaya when said-raven wasn't looking. Shizuo wasn't quite sure why Izaya came here all the time, but he was actually quite happy that the raven did. This was the only time Shizuo could look at him without the two of them fighting. It was the only time for a little while that Shizuo could pretend that they hadn't fought in the past and things were normal between them like they used to be. But there were still the glass walls of the café blocking him from Izaya. But Shizuo guessed it was better than nothing.<p>

But there was something different about today—something that made Shizuo freeze with shock and his whole body shake with silent and restrained anger. And that was the presence of another man.

Shizuo didn't know who the hell he was, but he automatically decided he disliked that man. No, he _**hated **_that man. Who the hell was he anyway? And why the fuck was he touching _his _Izaya? Red fury flashed in Shizuo's eyes as he watched that man softly place his hand against Izaya's cheek, smiling all caringly at the raven. It made Shizuo's stomach twist uncomfortably. He didn't like this. He didn't like this at all.

He so badly wanted to march outside, grab the man, and punch him senseless, but logic made him stop. His hands were still clenched into tight fists as his nails dug into his palm, but the anger on his face faded to frustration and bitterness.

Shizuo wanted to go out there and show that man he wasn't allowed to touch what was his. But then Shizuo realized that Izaya didn't really belong to him. So it wasn't his place to do anything.

So Shizuo begrudgingly stayed behind the bar, anger seething from his body as jealously stirred within him. Just who was this man that made Izaya smile and made the boy Shizuo remembered and loved resurface just a bit? What made this guy so special that Izaya lapsed back into the best friend Shizuo missed so much?

And why was it that Shizuo couldn't do what that man was able to?

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><p><strong>I swear I'll have the next chapter done soon. XD Promise. But in other news, I have a new story I'm planning to post soon so watch out for it guys! :)<strong>

**Thanks for reading, reviewing, and generally being awesome everyone~**

**-Xaleria**


	19. Shizuo & Izaya 5

**I am sincerely sorry guys. I give you full permission to rant and hate me for this long delayed update. DX School was busier than I anticipated, and this chapter also just had parts that got me so stuck that I kept rewriting it and rewriting it. OTL Please forgive me for taking so long. ****m(_ _)m**

**I hope this chapter makes up for the long delay, and I definitely must thank my beta Sunny for being awesome and getting this back to me so quickly.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters.**

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><p><strong>Shizuo &amp; Izaya<strong>

_**There are many reasons for why a relationship between two people may have problems. **_

_**Faith or lack thereof. **_

_**Greed that causes insecurity. **_

_**Lust instead of love.**_

_**And envy for what you can't have.**_

* * *

><p>"Thanks for letting me stay over tonight, Izaya." Chikage smiled gratefully at his friend as Izaya rolled out an extra blanket on his guest bed, flattening it out neatly with his hands.<p>

"No problem. Anything for an old friend, right?" Izaya responded with a polite smile, heading back out so Chikage could settle inside the room. "There's a bathroom right next to the bedroom you can use. Let me just get you some towels."

"'Kay!" Chikage called out as Izaya walked into his own master bedroom, heading over to the connected bathroom and opening a cupboard next to the sink to pull out a towel set.

While he was there, Izaya decided he might as well change into his pajamas, setting down the towels for a moment so that he could undress before pulling on the black gym shorts and grey t-shirt he wore to bed. He then picked the towels back up and walked back to the bathroom Chikage was using, finding the auburn-haired man shirtless with drawstring pants on, standing at the sink with his hair all wet.

"Ah!" Chikage smiled warmly when he noticed Izaya standing there. "Thanks Izaya!"

"You're welcome," Izaya muttered as Chikage took the towels, picking one to use while hanging up the others. "So how long are you planning on staying in Ikebukuro?"

"Hm, actually I'm thinking about moving here," Chikage replied as he rubbed the towel through his hair, placing it around his neck when it was sufficiently dry. Chikage had a wicked smile on his face as he winked coyly at Izaya, "I recently found someone interesting who lives here."

"Oh?" Izaya's mouth curled up into a sly, teasing smile with just a hint of happiness for his friend. "And here I thought we could pick up where we left off. Really," Izaya feigned hurt, placing his hand over his chest, "I'm hurt that you found someone else, Chikage."

Chikage laughed, going along with Izaya's joke as he hugged his friend from behind, placing a sweet kiss on the raven's cheek, "Don't worry, you'll be the one I turn to when I get my heart broken."

"Hm, that tough, huh?" Izaya sympathized.

"Ah," Chikage chuckled while sheepishly rubbing the back of his head, "Let's just say he's a bit stubborn."

"I see," Izaya murmured, sadness flashing in his eyes for just a second, as another stubborn person he knew popped into his mind. Chikage caught the look and instantly felt guilty over his words as he had made Izaya remember things he'd rather not.

"Sorry," Chikage spoke softly, reaching out and squeezing Izaya's hand apologetically.

"No," Izaya shook his head, giving Chikage an apologetic smile of his own. "There's nothing to apologize for. I'm fine."

Chikage frowned, not liking the obviously fake, "I'm okay," smile on Izaya's face. He tightened his grip on Izaya's hand, pulling the raven closer to him.

"Chikage?" Izaya questioned, confused as Chikage suddenly held onto him. "What's—where are you touching!" Izaya exclaimed, his eyes widening as Chikage slipped his hand down Izaya's thigh, pulling up the hem of his black shorts to expose his thigh. Chikage's eyes narrowed in scrutiny, looking at the scars left there years ago.

"There's no new ones," Chikage sighed with relief, letting go of Izaya who pushed against him.

"Of course there aren't!" Izaya hissed, crossing his arms and glaring at Chikage. "Who do you think I am?"

"Yes, yes, you're the great Orihara Izaya," Chikage rolled his eyes before a serious look entered them. "But you know, despite what you say, you're also human, Izaya. You get hurt; you feel pain."

Izaya opened his mouth to retort sarcastically but no sound would come out. He didn't have anything to say in response because Chikage was right, as much as he didn't want him to be. Izaya ended up gritting his teeth together, his palms curling into fists as he turned his back towards Chikage. "I know that," Izaya mumbled, narrowing his eyes to stop the tears he felt coming. Taking in a deep breath as he calmed his beating heart, he regained his composure, the icy, and emotionless mask he wore returned. "I know that all too well, my friend."

And he walked away before Chikage could say anything else to stir unwanted memories.

* * *

><p>Shizuo sighed, looking at the box of cigarettes in his hand. There were a few sticks left, and he desperately wanted to smoke one just to relieve all the stress building up. He almost did—he had pulled one out and stuck it between his teeth, searching his pockets for a lighter. But then he cursed as he remembered that since he had stopped smoking, he had stopped buying lighters.<p>

"Fuck!" Shizuo growled as he threw the cancer stick in the trash, running his hand through his hair in frustration after. The image of Izaya sitting and then leaving with a man he didn't know just wouldn't leave his head. Just who was he to Izaya? What were they doing right now? Why did Izaya treat that guy differently? And why the hell was Shizuo worrying about it so much?

Grumbling to himself under his breath, as he was too caught up in his thoughts, Shizuo almost missed the sound of his cell phone ringing. He sighed exasperatedly, pulled it out of his pocket and flipped it open to see it was Tom calling him. "Hello?"

"_Shizuo!_" Tom sighed in relief on the other end. "_Sorry to call you so late, but can I ask a favor from you?_"

"Sure, what's up?" Shizuo replied as he closed the box of cigarettes and stuffed them into his pocket.

"_A friend of mine runs the bar at this fancy restaurant called Koushou, and he's shorthanded tonight. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping out. You'll get paid for the hours you work._" Tom explained.

"Hn," Shizuo murmured, thinking about it. He didn't really have anything else to do, and it was better than sitting here thinking about Izaya and that man from yesterday. Besides, Tom did him a huge favor of hiring him and dealing with his temper, so Shizuo should of course return the favor. "Sure, I'll help out."

"_Thanks_ _Shizuo! You know how to get there right?_"

"Yeah, I know the place."

"_Alright, I'll see you there at 6 then. Make sure to wear your uniform with the vest. Later Shizuo._"

"Bye." Shizuo hung up his phone, sighing tiredly once again as he rubbed his temples to soothe an oncoming migraine. Glancing at the clock, he saw it was about an hour and half left till six so he guessed that he should get ready, heading towards the bathroom to shower.

Relaxing under the cool stream of warm water, the image of Izaya with that unknown man popped back into Shizuo's mind. He frowned, his eyebrows furrowing with frustration as his hands clenched into fists. "It doesn't matter to me who he chooses to spend his time with," Shizuo muttered to himself.

But the jealousy that made his stomach twist uncomfortably and his heart ache with pain told him otherwise.

* * *

><p>"You know, you didn't have to go this far to thank me." Izaya arched an eyebrow in disbelief as he looked up at the fancy, cursive moniker of the renowned restaurant.<p>

In return for letting him stay the night the other day, Chikage insisted that he treat Izaya out to dinner. Izaya had agreed, thinking that the two of them would just go to a laid back place where they could talk and such. He wasn't expecting Chikage to take him to some high class place.

'_No wonder he told me to wear a suit._' Izaya thought as he looked at all the well dressed people dining and talking.

"Nonsense," Chikage chuckled as he placed his arm around Izaya's shoulders. "I know you have expensive tastes. Besides, I hear they serve the most amazing ootoro here."

Izaya perked up at the sound of ootoro. His mouth already salivated in anticipation—although he tried to appear nonchalant. "Oh, well then in that case, thanks for the treat~"

Chikage shook his head at Izaya, though his mouth curled up in a smile. Soon they were taken to their table and seated before waiters rushed to make them comfortable and handed out their menus. "And what will you be having to drink today, sirs?" a waiter inquired.

"I'll have an All-Irish Black and Tan," Chikage ordered as he looked up briefly from the menu before turning towards his companion. "What about you, Izaya?"

"Hm, I'll have a Black Velvet," Izaya smiled politely at the waiter, who nodded and rushed off their orders to the bar.

"So," Chikage started once the waiter was gone, threading his fingers together and propping his arms up on the table to place his chin on his hands. "What's been going on with you lately, Izaya?"

"Nothing really," Izaya responded casually, pretending to be interested in studying the placement of his silverware on the table.

"Uh-huh," Chikage was skeptical, rolling his eyes a bit at Izaya's obvious lie.

"Really," Izaya insisted, smiling innocently as he folded his hands together. "Nothing interesting has been happening with me lately. Why don't you tell me about this new love interest of yours instead, Chikage?" Izaya smiled slyly as Chikage was caught by surprise from his question. "Are you planning on actually seeing him any time soon?"

"Oh no, I'm not falling for that," Chikage chided playfully as he wagged his finger. "You're trying to push the conversation towards me to avoid talking about yourself. Well, it's not going to work so fess up, Izaya. How have you really been?"

There was a moment of silence between them as Izaya turned to look out the window. He seemed to be admiring the view although his eyebrows were furrowed deep in thought. During that time, the waiter returned with their drinks and then took their orders. Once the waiter was gone, Chikage silently sipped his drink, watching Izaya carefully as he patiently waited for the raven to be ready to speak. Finally Izaya opened his mouth to speak, though Chikage hadn't been anticipating the question that left Izaya's mouth.

"Do you ever regret the fact that it never went further than that night between us?" Izaya picked up the tall champagne glass that held his drink, looking at the dark liquid inside before taking a sip. He felt the liquid burn his throat. He usually didn't drink, since he hated the idea of putting anything unhealthy in his body. But it wouldn't hurt if just for one night he let everything go, right? The bottled up emotions and this unrequited love…

Yes, it would be nice if just for one night he could forget everything. Izaya peered at Chikage from the rim of his glass, gauging the man's reaction to his question. He smiled slightly with amusement when he saw Chikage's face reddening a bit. No doubt he was remembering their brief affair as young students.

"It's not that I regret it never went further," Chikage spoke carefully, mulling over his answer in his head as he leaned forward, folding his arms together as he seriously looked into Izaya's eyes. "It's more that I regret the fact that I couldn't be the one you needed at the time."

Izaya paused, the words sinking in as he slowly put down the glass. He gave his friend a sad smile, his voice quiet and a bit more emotional than Chikage was used to hearing from Izaya. "Yeah, I'm sorry you couldn't be the one either."

Chikage didn't respond to that. Instead the two of them let the topic slide to the back of their minds, bringing up happier times of their school days and talking about their work as their dinner finally arrived. Izaya gradually began to relax, putting aside feelings of the past Chikage had forced up so suddenly. Even if it was just for the time span of their dinner, Izaya just wanted to forget everything.

* * *

><p>Shizuo tried not to frown in obvious displeasure as the chatter and obnoxious laughs of rich and privileged people filled his ears. He instead tried to focus on the glass he was cleaning, the transparent material almost gleaming from the amount of attention the blonde was giving it.<p>

"Heiwajima-san, here's a new order for table seventeen." Shizuo looked up, taking the piece of the paper from the waiter. His brow arched curiously at the drink choices, as they weren't the kind of drinks he expected the kind of people who ate here to order. His eyes glanced over to table seventeen to see what kind of people they were, and the glass almost slipped from his hand as his eyes widened at the sight.

Although a bit far away to make out the words they were saying, but in a somewhat clear view, Izaya and the man Shizuo had seen him with the other day were sitting down together. They looked close, smiling at each other and joking over something. Shizuo could feel a burning sensation grow in the pit of his stomach as his hand unconsciously clenched the glass. It was only when he finally felt the delicate glass almost break that he stopped, put it down and took in a deep breath.

'_It doesn't matter to me who he spends his time with. It doesn't matter. It's doesn't—Shit.'_

Shizuo didn't even bother hiding his frown now as he angrily began to mix their drinks. What he really wanted to do was go up there and throw the guy out the glass window and drag Izaya outside…but that wouldn't bode well for him or Tom. And while his jealousy certainly was very strong, the prickling guilt of what would happen to Tom made him think twice about his actions.

…And he would just go hunt that guy down later and kill him. '_Kill him, kill him, kill him, kill him, kill him, kill him, kill him…'_

Shizuo paused in thought as he turned off the beer tap, watching the frothy white foam bubble before settling. Just what made that guy so special to Izaya anyway? The fact that Izaya could actually talk with him without punches and knives being thrown at him every other second? Or perhaps that he was well off enough to afford places like this? Izaya always did have expensive tastes…

"Heiwajima! Are those drinks ready yet?"

Shizuo snapped out of his thoughts, looking at the irritated waiter. He quickly topped off the drinks before handing it to the waiter, watching the guy rush it away to the table. Shizuo then noticed there was a somewhat saddened look in Izaya's eyes, and he wondered what the reason behind it was.

'_I'm the one who's sad here,'_ Shizuo angrily thought.

Because somehow it seemed that he was the only one that Izaya couldn't love.

* * *

><p>"<em>Shizuo!" The blonde looked up at the sound of his name, seeing Shinra waving to him from the classroom door, Delic and Kadota standing next to him. "Come on, let's go." <em>

"_Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," Shizuo grumbled as he grabbed his backpack and went over to his friends, stopping with a confused expression when he noticed one person of their usual group was missing. "Hey, where's Izaya?" _

"_Hm? Oh, Izaya said he had something to do and that we could go on ahead without him," Shinra explained, leading the group through the hallways of their school and to their shoe lockers. _

"_Huh," Shizuo frowned, wondering why he hadn't heard of this. He and Izaya usually told each other everything. _'_What could Izaya be doing…_' _Shizuo's thought process stopped as he looked up at his shoe locker, his frown deepening as he saw who was there, leaning against the shoe lockers and looking like she was waiting for something—probably her brother that she creepily stuck to like glue all the time. _

_Yagiri Namie spotted his look, sneering at him with her own displeasured one. The two of them never really got along, especially because Namie and Izaya were known rivals and since Namie hated Izaya that in turn meant she hated his best friend too._

"_That's my locker you're leaning on, Yagiri." Shizuo crossed his arms. He had a policy of not using violence towards girls, but with Namie it was very tempting to._

"_Oh is it?" Namie retorted in a fake, sweet voice as she moved away from the locker. "No wonder it smells so bad." _

_Shizuo felt the anger rising within him, but he just tried to ignore her as he opened his locker and stuffed his indoor shoes inside while pulling out his regular shoes. He was a bit uncomfortable, feeling Namie's eyes staring at him intensely. "What?" Shizuo demanded as he turned around, glaring at Namie's dark eyes that just widened innocently._

"_Nothing," she shrugged, looking away from Shizuo. "I'm just waiting for my little brother to get here." _

"_Well why don't you go wait somewhere else, Yagiri?" Shizuo grumbled. _

"_I'm free to wait wherever I want, Heiwajima." Namie countered back._

_They both gave each other deadly stares, their metaphorical hackles raised. _

"_Shizuo~"_

"_Nee-chan." _

_They both broke eye contact at the same time, turning to their respective people. Namie cooed at her brother while Shizuo just grumbled to Shinra and his friends to not question what had happened between him and Yagiri._

_Shizuo spent the rest of the day playing games at Delic's, wondering what was taking Izaya so long to join them. Soon it was time for everyone to go home, and Shizuo walked alone, confused as to why Izaya never showed up. When he got home, he went to knock on Izaya's door, but his mother answered and told Shizuo Izaya had already gone to sleep. Shizuo just shrugged it off, thinking maybe Izaya was just really tired from whatever he had been doing. _

'_It's not like we won't see each other tomorrow,' Shizuo thought as he walked inside his own home, pulling off his shoes then heading upstairs to his room. 'After all, tomorrow's graduation.'_

* * *

><p>"Shizuo? Oi, Shizuo!"<p>

Shizuo snapped out of his daze, and the memory of their elementary days was pushed to the back of his mind. His eyes trailed over to Shinra, who looked at him with a concerned expression. "Don't you think you're drinking those a little too fast?"

Shizuo's head unsteadily turned to look at the beer bottle he held in his hands—it was almost empty. A few more bottles were pushed to the side next to him. He didn't really drink; he hated the bitter taste of beer, but Shinra had been the one to invite him out so what did it matter if he had a few drinks? "Don't think so."

Shinra arched a brow at his friend, wondering what the matter was with him. "Shizuo, is something wrong?"

"S'nothing," Shizuo muttered as he downed the rest of the beer, slamming it down back on the table with a bit more force than he had intended. But he wasn't really in a good mood right now.

"You usually don't drink like this," Kadota pointed out casually, though his tone implied his evident concern for his friend. He had also been invited out by Shinra, though he kept his drinking to a minimum.

"Just pissed 's all," Shizuo told them as he glared at the empty glass with a frown. The sight of Izaya and that other man popped back into his mind, and it was starting to make him angry. He didn't want to think about it anymore, but his brain just seemed to taunt him more, making up scenes of Izaya and that man that were a bit exaggerated.

Kadota looked at Shizuo with a sympathetic look, opening his mouth to cheer up his friend when a familiar voice made him freeze. "Why if it isn't Kadota-chan!"

The trio of friends turned towards the new voice, Kadota cringing as Shizuo's eyes almost bugged out of their sockets.

The auburn-haired man he had seen with Izaya stood next to their booth, leaning towards Kadota with a wide smile on his face. "Fancy meeting you here."

"What are you doing in Ikebukuro?" Kadota questioned, his movements a bit stiff and awkward as his face slightly reddened. Shizuo's eyes shifted back and forth between the two of them, wondering what their relationship was.

"Why do you think I'm here?" the man laughed before glancing towards Shizuo and Shinra. "Who're your friends?"

Kadota, realizing that both Shizuo and Shinra were staring at them with curious expressions, suddenly wished he could disappear into a hole in the ground. "Uh…Shinra, Shizuo, this is Rokujo Chikage. We met in Kyoto back when I went to the music festival with Delic, Hibiya, and Psyche. Rokujo-san, these are my friends Kishitani Shinra and Heiwajima Shizuo."

Shizuo didn't like the way Chikage's eyes seemed to flash with recognition at the sound of his name, or the way Chikage's eyes, eerily similar to his, narrowed slightly as his mouth upturned in a sly grin. "Eh, so you're the infamous 'Shizu-chan'?"

Shizuo started at the familiar nickname, his eyes becoming suspicious as his tone was harsh, "Don't call me that. The name's Shizuo. And how the fuck do you even know who I am?" Had Izaya talked about him? About how much he hated Shizuo and how they fought?

"Ah, sorry about that, _Shizuo-san_," Chikage's tone was mocking, which only riled Shizuo more. "I'm just well acquainted with a close friend of yours."

"You mean Delic?" Kadota inquired, both him and Shinra now sharing the curious looks as to Chikage's and Shizuo's relationship.

"Oh? I haven't told you, Kadota-chan?" Chikage chuckled, his smile seemingly innocent though Shizuo knew it was mocking him. "I'm actually _very close_ friends with Orihara Izaya."

"Izaya?" both Kadota and Shinra exclaimed with shock as Shinra continued to question, "How do you know Izaya?"

"We went to the same middle school and were roommates," Chikage explained, keeping both eyes on Shizuo for his reaction. He was amused by how upset the man appeared, his hands clenching and unclenching in fists as his face slightly reddened with anger. "You could say were…best friends."

Chikage smirked with amusement as Shizuo's eyes met his at the sound of those words, fury flashing in them. "Hey, didn't you used to be best friends with him, Shizuo-san?" Chikage prodded, throwing an arm around Shizuo's shoulder as he smiled all friendly-like at the blonde. Kadota and Shinra were frozen in fear, their eyes carefully watching Shizuo as if he were a ticking time bomb. They knew better than to mention his and Izaya's past friendship in front of him.

"That was a long time ago," Shizuo growled, trying not to be irritated by the man's over friendliness with him as he crossed his arms tightly to refrain from lashing out. "We're not friends anymore."

"Ehhh," Chikage smiled wickedly, leaning a bit closer to Shizuo so he could whisper to him, "That's too bad. Maybe if you were still friends you would have gotten to enjoy being with him like _I_ did."

Shizuo's eyes widened, his voice hardened as he turned to Chikage, "Like what?"

"Oh, of course you don't know," Chikage taunted as his eyes lit up with a mischievous look. "About how…more than _friendly_ Izaya is with his 'friends'. Ah, yes, any guy in our school could count on him for a good fuck, because he would always ready to spread his legs open for just about anyo—"

Chikage didn't finish his sentence because Shizuo's patience finally snapped. The blonde roared in anger, grabbing the collar of Chikage's striped shirt, and punched the man square in the jaw, forcing them both to the ground. It took Kadota and Shinra and moment to process what just happened before they were on Shizuo, pulling him off Chikage and shouting at him to stop.

When they finally pulled the two of them away, with some help from workers in the establishment, Shinra started to chastise the blonde, "Shizuo, what's the matter with you! How could you just suddenly hit someone you just met! I can't believe…"

Shinra began to blab on and on, but Shizuo wasn't listening. His lip was split open from Chikage fighting back and blood was dripping down his mouth. He wiped it away with the back of his hand, digging through his pockets with some difficulty as his head began to spin both from the alcohol and the sudden adrenaline rush. Once he finally got a hold of his wallet, he took a few bills to pay for his half of the drinks and thrust them at Shinra before angrily stomping away. "Shizuo, wait!" Shinra called after him, but Shizuo just kept walking on, his hands in his pockets and his clothes disheveled from the fight. Shinra sighed, shaking his head in exasperation. He quickly went to apologize to the manager of the establishment and offered to pay for damages as Kadota helped Chikage to the booth.

"Damn, he has a mean right hook," Chikage tried to make light of the situation, chuckling and then wincing when the action made his side sting with pain.

"That was stupid of you to provoke him like that," Kadota chided as he rolled his eyes.

"Ah, well, I just wanted to tease him a little for a bit of revenge," Chikage shrugged, flinching when Kadota lightly flicked his forehead as punishment.

"You better apologize to him later," Kadota commanded as he began to examine Chikage's wounds. "Izaya has always been a touchy subject with Shizuo. He's probably going to stew over what you said for the rest of his life."

"Alright, I'll apologize," Chikage sighed before a thought popped into his head and he smiled playfully, "But only if you promise to play nurse and take care of me until I heal~"

"Wh-wha-what!" Kadota stammered, his face turning red with embarrassment as he moved away from Chikage. "No way!"

"Aww, come on, Kadota-chan~ How can you be so mean to an injured man?" Chikage pouted.

"You deserved it!"

"How cruel! You're breaking my heart here."

Kadota crossed his arms, trying to frown at the auburn-haired man, though Chikage was making it quite hard with the pleading look he was giving. Finally, Kadota sighed and gave in, "Fine."

"Yeah~!" Chikage cheered, smiling happily.

"Don't think this means anything more than repaying you for what Shizuo did to you, though," Kadota warned him as he narrowed his eyes in suspicion at Chikage. "That night between us in Kyoto was the only time, and I intend to keep it that way."

"Aww, killjoy," Chikage pouted in disappointment, not minding the glare Kadota gave him in response before the brunette went off to apologize with Shinra. Chikage watched him leave and then pulled out his cell phone, dialing a number. It rung for a few seconds before the other person picked up. "Hello, Izaya~ it's Chikage! Never mind where I am at the moment, I just wanted to call and tell you that I won't be coming back tonight. Oh, and by the way, you might want to go out and search for a certain big, angry blonde … I didn't do anything! …Okay, well, I did provoke him a little about our past relationship…Hey, don't get mad at me! You were the one who wouldn't even say my name once when we were having sex. I was hurt you know. …Yeah, yeah, you'll make sure I regret everything I said later and blah, blah, blah. Anyway, just hurry up and go out there and find that guy before he does something stupid. Bye~" Chikage hung up his phone, smiling as he stood up and went off to find Kadota and Shinra.

* * *

><p>"That stupid Chikage…" Izaya muttered to himself as he stuffed his hands in his pockets, walking through the streets of Ikebukuro and searching for any sign of a violent, blonde man. Although he would never say it aloud, he was a bit worried about what Shizuo might do after hearing what Chikage said. So it was better to just find him and try to say something to dispel the thoughts Chikage put in Shizuo's head.<p>

"That guy was pretty scary, wasn't he?" a girl said to her friend as two girls passed by Izaya. He paused, listening in on their conversation with curiosity.

"Yeah, he was just sitting there with that angry look on his face," her friend answered back. "And he had blonde hair too. I wonder if he's a delinquent."

"Well, maybe. He was wearing something like a suit."

"Excuse me, ladies," Izaya smiled as the two girls turned towards him with curious and cautious expressions. "I couldn't help but overhear you talking about a blonde man in a suit. I'm currently looking for him so would you mind telling me where you happened to see this man?"

They pointed him towards the park and he thanked them before walking away. When he finally got to the park, there Shizuo was, sitting on a bench underneath a tree with his back hunched over and his arms resting on his knees, a cigarette pack in his hand. Izaya noted the pack was almost empty except for one, and he wondered if Shizuo had smoked them all. He didn't smell like it.

"Well if it isn't Shizu-chan~" Izaya smiled as Shizuo perked up at the sound of his voice, turning to face Izaya. There was a slight pink coloring to Shizuo's face, his eyes a bit unfocused as they squinted at the raven. Izaya then noticed the strong smell of alcohol coming from Shizuo and frowned. "Are you drunk?"

"Hah?" Shizuo growled as he stood up, but he moved a bit too fast and his feet were unsteady. He wobbled, and Izaya reached out and grabbed him before the blonde fell to the ground.

"I'll take that as a yes," Izaya sighed as he helped Shizuo up, keeping the man's arm around his shoulders for support. Usually, he would have made fun of Shizuo for the drunkenness, but seeing the man in such a state made him feel a little pity. It wasn't fun to be kicked when you're already down after all. "Come on, walk properly. I can't carry you all the way to your place. Where do you live anyway?"

Shizuo mumbled the address under his breath so quietly that Izaya almost missed it; however, when he heard it a half nostalgic half shocked expression entered his face. He headed towards the direction of Shizuo's home, knowing exactly where it was because it was both their childhood homes. And while Shizuo didn't necessarily live in the same apartment he did as a kid, he lived in the same building and only a floor down. When they finally got there, Izaya struggled a bit with supporting Shizuo and searching the man for his keys. Izaya sighed with relief once he found the keys and opened the door, helping Shizuo inside.

The man clumsily took off his shoes and padded inside, not bothering to turn on the lights. Izaya ended up doing just that, watching Shizuo carefully as the drunken man stumbled around the living area. Sighing, Izaya resolved to help him, leading Shizuo towards the bedroom, and had the blonde sit on the bed before he went to the kitchen to get a glass of water to sober Shizuo up.

When Izaya stepped back into the room he saw Shizuo lying on the bed, his arm placed over his eyes. "You okay?" Izaya asked with an arched brow, not used to seeing Shizuo like this. He was always angry or being tough, never depressed as he seemed right now. Shizuo didn't answer him though and that irritated Izaya. "Hey, I'm talking to you." Still, Shizuo didn't bother to move or speak. "Look, I know you hate me and all, but to just blatantly ignore me like this after I helped you is jus—"

Izaya cried out in surprise as Shizuo suddenly reached and grabbed his arm, pulling him towards the bed as the glass fell out of his hands and tumbled to the ground, the water soaking into the carpet. It happened all so quickly that the next thing Izaya knew his back was on the bed and Shizuo's hands trapped his own above his head. He was barely able to manage a syllable of Shizuo's name before the blonde's mouth was ravaging his own, rough and demanding. Izaya froze for a second, his head spinning as he tried to grasp what was going on. Only when he felt Shizuo's tongue force its way into his mouth did he finally react, his shouts muffled as he began to thrash wildly. But the grip Shizuo had on his wrists just tightened. Izaya winced at the pressure, trying to scream louder although his sounds were drowned out by Shizuo's harsh kisses.

"Argh," Shizuo growled as he pulled away from Izaya, one hand flying to his lip were small drops of blood were beginning to fall. He glared at Izaya, whose own mouth was swollen and bruised and his scarlet eyes just as sharp.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" Izaya hissed as he struggled to pull away from Shizuo's grip, but despite the fact that Shizuo was supposed to be drunk, his grip was as strong as ever. "Let go of me!"

"What's wrong, _Izaya-kun_?" Shizuo questioned tauntingly, his cold and unforgiving tone sending chills down Izaya's back as those coffee colored eyes he loved so much stared at him with such strong hatred. "I thought you just spread your legs for anyone, or will you not do it for a guy whose guts you hate?"

"Wh-what?" Izaya sputtered in disbelief, staring at Shizuo with wide eyes. "I don't—!" Izaya started to protest only to stop, realizing he was wrong. He _did. _He did used to sleep with anyone who wanted to. But that was only because—!

Izaya's thought was cut off as his body jolted in reaction to Shizuo's cool hands pushing his shirt up, his fingers leaving hot trails on Izaya's pale skin. A strangled gasp escaped Izaya's mouth as Shizuo began to play with his nipples and the raven felt his body tremble. "St-stop…" Izaya argued though his voice was too soft as he tried to push against Shizuo. "I said, stop it!" Finally Izaya pushed back with enough force that threw Shizuo off of him. Izaya scrambled out of the bed, running towards the bedroom door to escape.

But Shizuo grabbed his arm before Izaya could escape, the blonde's other hand getting a fistful of Izaya's hair as the blonde slammed the raven to the ground. Izaya groaned in pain, his mind panicking and telling him to do something. He scratched at the floor with his free hand until it touched the glass that had fallen earlier.

Quickly thinking, Izaya smashed the glass onto the ground as hard as he could, it shattering upon impact. His hand bled, but he didn't care as he picked up the largest fragment and swiped at Shizuo like he would with his switchblade. He was able to cut Shizuo across the cheek, making a shallow cut, but this only ended up angering the blonde as Shizuo growled and picked up both Izaya and the glass piece, only to throw Izaya against the wall, pinning him against it. Izaya winced as the glass bit cut into his and Shizuo's hands, the blonde's fist tightly holding it closed.

Just as Izayas's head began to throb from the pain, Shizuo's mouth was on his again, unforgiving and relentless in its attack. Izaya tried to bite him again but Shizuo just grunted and then used one hand to grasp Izaya's jaw, keeping it firmly open. Izaya tried to beat against Shizuo' back with his free hand but it did nothing. Finally Shizuo pulled away, and both of them panted for breath as they stared at each other fiercely. Izaya could feel his heart beating in his chest, confused as to whether he should feel elated or sad. Why was Shizuo doing this? Because he hated him? Was this some kind of sick revenge?

Shizuo must have seen the look of vulnerability on his face because suddenly the look in his coffee brown eyes softened as did his voice as he spoke, "Izaya…"

Izaya took this chance, pushing against Shizuo again enough for him to slip away and escape the bedroom. Just as he almost reached the front door he was tackled to the ground again, and the two of them wrestled each other for a moment, hitting against tables and chairs as things were knocked around. Once or twice they were able to get to their feet before they tumbled to the ground again, bruising each other. When they both finally stopped struggling, Shizuo had Izaya pinned against the top of his coffee table. There had never been more hate in Shizuo's eyes towards him than there was right now. "You," Shizuo hissed as his grip tightened around Izaya's wrists. "Why is that you always want to run away from me? Now I'm pissed." Shizuo then pulled up Izaya's jacket, tying it off to trap the raven's hands. Izaya's eyes widened with fear as Shizuo then worked on the raven's belt, pulling it off before loosening his pants.

"Wa-wait! Shiz—aahhh..." Izaya gasped, his body shuddering in arousal as Shizuo massaged his groin. He clenched his hands tightly, making them bleed more, as he tried to focus his mind more on the pain instead of the way Shizuo's hands moved, giving him pleasure he hadn't felt in years. He felt ashamed over the way his body was reacting to Shizuo's touch, craving more, needing more. He shouldn't have been giving in this easily, especially when he knew that Shizuo was only releasing his frustrations out on him. He wasn't doing this out of any particular affection towards Izaya. After all, he had made his feelings clear enough long ago hadn't he? "St-stop…" Izaya didn't even realize he had spoken until Shizuo did stop, looking at the raven who looked up at Shizuo with hurt eyes. "Stop this…"

Shizuo was shocked. He hadn't seen such a look in Izaya's eyes since that day they claimed to hate each other. And somehow, seeing that look in his eyes pissed him off even more. '_Why only me?_ Shizuo thought bitterly. _Why is it that I'm the only one who keeps on hurting you?'_

"Get out," Shizuo demanded roughly as he suddenly stood up, letting Izaya free. For a second, Izaya stared at him with confusion, making Shizuo grow impatient as he barked, "I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT! I don't want to see your face ever again, ya hear!"

Izaya didn't need to be told twice. He only took a moment to fix his pants before rushing out Shizuo's front door, leaving the blonde in the comfort of his own home alone.

The complete silence was deafening. Shizuo dragged his feet across the ground, collapsing into the couch. He stared at the ground for a while, thinking about what just happened, that hurt look in Izaya's eyes flashing through his mind again.

"Dammit!" he growled, ruffling his hair in frustration as he pulled out the cigarette carton from his pocket. It had gotten crushed during their struggle, and Shizuo stared at it for a while, wondering if he should really smoke one when he had already gotten so far. He opened the carton, staring the single, lonely cigarette inside. He was so tempted to just light it and smoke. Anything to relieve this stress and pent up emotions. But then his thoughts drifted back to a thought he had a while ago.

When he threw away this last cigarette, he would also throw away these feelings. And today had just proven how nothing would change between him and Izaya.

Shizuo sighed wearily then, standing up and sticking one hand into his pants pocket as he walked towards the bedroom. He took one last look at the cigarette carton before throwing it into a trashcan near his nightstand.

And with that, he tucked his feelings deep within himself, hoping that he would never feel this way ever again.

* * *

><p>Izaya walked aimlessly through the streets of Ikebukuro, confused as to what just happened and at a loss of what to do now. Shizuo's actions earlier had just ended up confirming something for him: the fact that his and Shizuo's relationship would never change. Shizuo would never return his feelings. Shizuo didn't even want to see him anymore.<p>

So what if he just disappeared? What if he really made it so that Shizuo wouldn't see him ever again? Izaya stopped walking, his eyes trailing towards the busy street. Cars drove too quickly all the time. The driver wouldn't be able to stop in time if Izaya stepped out at the last minute. And the chances of surviving weren't that high, since he'd just get knocked into another car and possibly run over multiple times. It was easier than cutting himself to death, wasn't it? And this way, it could be seen as an accident. No one would have to feel guilty over his death. If he had killed himself, surely his family, maybe even some of his friends, would have felt that it was their fault they couldn't get him help. But if he did it this way…all it would be was just a tragic accident.

And he wouldn't have to feel this way anymore. It was for the better wasn't it?

Izaya stared almost hypnotically at the street. He was at the edge of the sidewalk now. Just one step. One step was all he needed.

Without even thinking further, Izaya moved forward, taking one step onto the street just as the flash of headlights from an oncoming car blinded him.

'_Goodbye Shizu-chan…'_

* * *

><p><strong>Ah, sorry to leave you guys with such an cliffhanger ending, especially after such a long wait. I swear it's for the dramatic effect. In other news, I think I'll have Shizuo and Izaya's story wrapped in the next chapter. After that, last, but not least, will be Shitsuo and Sakuraya's story (Oh, and the little TsukixRoppi extra too for Aeonora)! :D I don't think Shitsuo and Sakuraya's story will be as long as the others so A Little Thing Called Love is steadily coming to a close. :( But no worries, I have other Shizaya stories I hope you guys will look forward to in the future. :)<strong>

**Oh and *shameless advertising* I'm also working on another Shizaya story called "Once Upon a Little Time" so if you guys want to check that out on my profile, feel free too! *End shameless advertising***

**Anyways, just want to take the time here to say thank you so much guys for sticking with me so long on this story (this is the longest story I've ever written!) and I appreciate how much love you guys have given to this story! Really, you should see the ridiculously happy smiles I get when I read your guys' reviews. XD Aha. Anyway, thanks again guys! ^^ I promise I'll try not to take this long again with the next update. D:**

**-Xaleria**


	20. Shizuo & Izaya 6

**WARNING: **Pretty long chapter once again guys! So grab a snack (like a spoonful of nutella! For energy of course…) and put on some comfy sweats because you're going to be sitting here reading this for a while. XD

**You guys wouldn't believe how emotional I got writing this chapter. I can't believe I'm already ending Shizuo and Izaya's story. It feels like just yesterday I started this story. ;_; So I hope you guys enjoy~**

**Oh! But I do have **an important question for you all at the end of this chapter** so I'd really appreciate it if you guys took the time to read and answer it! ^^ Thank you.**

**Btw, this chapter was betaed by my lovely beta Sunny, who is awesome. :D**

**WARNING: **This story is rated M so there will be boyxboy lemon in this chapter. You have been forewarned.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters.**

* * *

><p><strong>Shizuo &amp; Izaya<strong>

_**If you could disappear, how would you do it? Where would you go? And most importantly...**_

_**Who would miss you when you were gone?**_

* * *

><p>Izaya wasn't entirely sure what happened in that moment. He had miscalculated, unanticipated that such an unlikely coincidence would happen. But it had. And it made it him want to laugh.<p>

Was this some joke? Did even the gods, if there were any, want him to be miserable and suffer? Did they even not want him to get what he wanted?

He couldn't help it this time. He let the bitter, hollow laughs escape his mouth as he threw his head back, staring up at the sky as if he were laughing at the gods that were condemning him. He couldn't even die in peace.

"Orihara-kun?"

Izaya's laughs slowly subsided as the familiar voice reached his ears as well as the angry honks of cars before they screeched past him yelling obscenities. Izaya just calmly stood, dusting off the dirt that had stuck to him when he fell. He stuffed his hands in his pockets as his usual sly and calculating smile replaced his delirious grin. He then gave a brief wave to the person who had stepped out of the car that had almost delivered his fate.

"Hello there, Shiki-san. What a coincidence seeing you here."

The man glared at Izaya with a frown, giving an exasperated sigh before he questioned, "Yes, quite a coincidence indeed. I suppose you won't tell me as to why you suddenly jumped in front of my car?"

Izaya shook his head, but not in response to Shiki's question, but because it was all too good to be true. The car he had stepped out in front of _just_ _had_ to be Shiki's. And Shiki, of course, being the important man he is, would have a top notch driver with the superb skill of being able to stop before colliding with Izaya. Somehow it all felt surreal.

Shiki studied Izaya for a moment, sensing something was off with the informant. With another tired sigh, the yakuza man motioned to Izaya, "Come, Orihara-kun. It's actually a good thing I 'ran' into you. We need to talk."

Izaya didn't question Shiki and climbed into the man's car, silently sitting with the yakuza man until they reached Shiki's home. Izaya had been there plenty of times—the last encounter being when he ruined Tsugaru's wedding, although no one knew he had been the source of that—and Izaya relaxed a bit at the familiar surroundings. He and Shiki didn't speak at all as they walked through the corridors of the old fashioned Japanese style home, only acknowledging other people with slight nods. When they finally arrived to Shiki's private study, the yakuza executive held the door open and motioned for Izaya to enter before him. The informant did just that and took a seat on a plush seat across from another one where Shiki moved to sit. And for a few minutes, all they did was stare at each other with mutual silence.

"So," Shiki broke the silence as he leaned forward, his elbows on his knees as he folded his hands together. "Orihara-kun, can you tell me as to what brought on what you did today?"

Izaya paused, not really wanting to tell Shiki the truth. He knew the yakuza could tell when he was lying, but he also knew Shiki wouldn't press for the truth if he felt it didn't concern him. And what had happened with Shizuo definitely didn't concern him. So Izaya simply shrugged and said, "I just wanted to get out of here."

"There are simpler ways of leaving Tokyo," Shiki told him, arching an eyebrow in curiosity, but as Izaya predicted, not pushing further for the truth.

"I suppose there are," Izaya mused as he leaned back against the couch, crossing his legs. "Did you have something in mind?"

Shiki was still for a moment, silently studying Izaya, before he got up from the couch and headed over to a mini bar he had. He began to mix himself a drink as he spoke. "The Awakusu-kai has been expanding their business internationally lately, and they've asked me to keep an eye on a few of our men we've recruited in Russia. However, recently, I've heard from my spies that these men have been," Shiki paused in thought, looking for the right word to describe the situation without totally giving the truth, "misusing the funds we have been giving them, but my spies are unable to bring forth any solid evidence to indicate so. You speak Russian, don't you, Orihara-kun?"

"That's right," Izaya confirmed as he let the idea roll around in his head. Russia. That was far away enough from Japan. It wasn't really the ideal place he wanted to "retire" to, but it wasn't a bad choice. It was just someplace as far away enough from Shizuo as possible. "So I'm guessing you'd like a certain, talented informant to be your eyes and ears in Russia."

"Just get me concrete proof they are betraying the Awakusu-kai and you're free to come back to Japan. Or stay there if you like," Shiki amended when he saw the sour look that appeared on Izaya's face when he mentioned coming back to Japan. "I'm sure there would be no harm in letting you stay there and work for us."

"Hm, what a tempting offer you have given me, Shiki-san." Izaya pretended to be thinking about it although he already knew what he wanted to do. "It would be a shame to not accept it."

"Excellent," Shiki smiled. "I'm sure the head would be happy to hear this."

"Yes," Izaya murmured as a dull ache in his chest began to build. He would miss Japan, but he couldn't stay here anymore knowing how Shizuo felt. That hurt even worse than the idea of leaving. "I'm sure he will."

Another moment of silence settled between them as Shiki sipped his drink quietly, watching his favorite informant with careful eyes. "You seem troubled, Orihara-kun."

"Ah, do I? I apologize," Izaya tried to wave Shiki's concern away as he plastered a fake smile on his face. "Today just hasn't been the best of days for me."

"Understandable, everyone has those kinds of days," Shiki commented as he sat back down on the couch. "However, something tells me today wasn't just your run of the mill bad day."

"Perhaps," Izaya remarked, his eyes narrowing slightly as he frowned at Shiki. "But it's really none of your business, Shiki-san."

"I'm only trying to express concern for my best informant, Orihara-kun," Shiki replied coolly, his eyes steady as he folded his hands together, peering over the top of his palms.

"Aww, are you trying to comfort me, Shiki-san?" Izaya teasingly cooed at the yakuza man, standing up from his seat to go sit next to the dark haired executive. He playfully trailed his hand down Shiki's arm and let it suggestively rest atop of the man's thigh.

"Only if you want me to," Shiki smirked, going along Izaya's joke while not at all looking affected by the informant's actions.

Izaya sighed, feeling a tad disappointed he wasn't able to break through Shiki's stone exterior, but then he just shook his head and smiled mischievously, "As much as I appreciate your offer, I wouldn't want a certain someone to get mad at me for sleeping with his partner."

Shiki frowned, narrowing his eyes in disapproval, "I won't ask how you know about that, but I will ask that you not mention it again."

"Alright, alright, no need to get upset," Izaya said as he stood up, holding his hands up in an innocent gesture as he made his way towards the door, getting ready to leave. "And don't worry about me selling that tidbit of information either. The two most powerful Awakusu-kai executives' wrath is something I'm not looking to bring upon myself anytime soon."

"Good," Shiki nodded, knowing that if Izaya did ever sell that information, he would be a dead man. "By the way, Orihara-kun," Shiki called out, stopping Izaya from leaving, "How soon can you leave for Russia?"

"If things go my way, I should be in Russia by this weekend," Izaya informed him.

"Alright then, I'll let my men there know you're coming."

"Of course. Ta-ta, Shiki-san." And with that, Izaya left, thinking about what he was going do now.

* * *

><p><em>Ring. <em>

_Ring. _

_Ring._

_Riiiiinnnnggg._

"Argh," Chikage growled as he grudgingly lifted his head from the pillow, haphazardly reaching out in the darkness for his cell phone. He scowled when he finally found it and saw the caller ID, flipped his phone open and grumbled, "D'ya know what time it is right now for god's sakes?"

"_Yes, yes, it's some godforsaken hour in the morning, Chikage~, but I need a favor from you._"

"Well I guess if you're saying my name like that again, you're desperate," Chikage sighed, leaning back on his pillow and pushing stray strands of hair from his face. "What do you need?"

"_Would you like to buy my apartment from me?_"

"Hah?" Chikage sat up now, more awake as an astonished expression crossed his face. "Your apartment? Wait, why? Are you moving?"

"_Yes, I am in fact. I need to move to Russia for work, and you wanted to move here anyway didn't you?_"

"Russia! Why so far?"

"_Because my boss needs me in Russia, and I just can't stay here in Tokyo anymore_."

"But why can't you?" Chikage waited for an answer but Izaya was silent on the other end. The auburn-haired man could guess why Izaya was leaving now. "It's that blonde guy again, isn't it?"

"_Chikage,_" Izaya's tone was low and warning, telling Chikage not to speak about it.

"Goddamn Izaya, how long are you going to let your feelings for that man control your life?" Chikage chastised, shaking his head in disbelief. "This is the second time you're running away from him!"

"_I'm not running away!_" Izaya snapped on the other end, anger evident in his tone.

"Bullshit," Chikage retorted, rolling his eyes. "You're scared of your feelings for him and so you're hiding away again. I thought that when you left Kyoto you said you got past this stage of feeling pity for yourself and running away like a scared little boy. I thought you said you were going to fix yourself."

"_How dare you…I'm not scared!_"

"Oh, then tell me you aren't!" Chikage demanded angrily. "Tell me you aren't using this excuse of your boss needing you in Russia to leave him again, to hide yourself and wallow in your own angsty pity."

"…" Chikage waited as the silence lulled on the other end. Then he heard Izaya sigh tiredly as the raven's voice sounded almost desolate, "_I just can't stand feeling like this anymore, Chikage. I don't feel like myself anymore. I…I just need time to get away from him and this place. Now do you want my apartment or not?_"

Chikage sighed as well, leaning back onto his pillow with a sad frown on his face. "I see. Alright, I'll buy your apartment from you."

"_Good,_" Izaya stated on the other end. There was another pause as the raven seemed to be thinking about something before he asked, "_And Chikage…would you mind doing me one last favor?_"

"Yes?"

"_I leave this Saturday, and on that exact day, I want you to go to this place._" He said the destination, letting Chikage jot it down on a piece of paper he found. "_When you get there, there should be this sakura tree in the courtyard. At the bottom of the trunk there should be an X carved somewhere, and right underneath that you have to dig. It shouldn't be buried that deeply, but you should find a little silver capsule. Inside there should be a few folded up papers. One of them is mine—you should recognize my handwriting. I want you to take that paper and burn it._"

"Burn it?" Chikage questioned with an arched brow.

"_Yes, burn it. Don't ask why, just do it._" There was another pause before Izaya added a bit pleadingly, "_Please._"

Chikage was startled. He had never really heard Izaya sound so desperate before, and never before had Izaya asked for a favor in such a way. How could he reject that? "Alright. I'll do it."

"_Thanks Chikage,_" Izaya sighed in relief. The auburn-haired man was surprised to hear the actual sincerity in Izaya's tone too, though he guessed he was doing the raven a pretty big favor. "_You know, maybe I might just fall for you_." The raven's tone was now light, joking, and back to its usual casualness.

Chikage matched him, giving a slightly airy laugh as he slowly shook his head, "A bit late there, Izaya. This ship has already sailed."

"_What a pity,_" Izaya bemoaned with just the right amount of fake despair.

"Maybe next time," Chikage mentioned, his tone implying just a bit of hopefulness for the raven.

Izaya didn't answer at first, but eventually the raven spoke softly, "_Yeah, maybe. Good night, Chikage._"

"Night, Izaya."

And that was the end of their conversation.

* * *

><p>"Saki! Anri!" Izaya called out irritably as he frowned at the box sitting in front of him. "Where's the box of files I specifically asked you guys to set aside?"<p>

The raven sighed with annoyance when he didn't get an answer right away as he was going through boxes and while not finding what he needed. What was the point of secretaries if they couldn't even do the job they were meant to do? Izaya shook his head, reaching for the next box and opening it. It wasn't what he wanted, but he stopped when he saw what was inside.

The box was full of old mementos from his childhood, such as baby pictures, childish drawings, old toys, and whatnot. Everything inside the box was junk he should have thrown out long ago, but one thing in particular made Izaya stop and reach down into the box. He grabbed it, pulling it out with a sad, nostalgic expression on his face.

It was a wrinkled gold ribbon with some stains of aged chocolate. Looking at it again reminded Izaya of how the color stood out against the crimson paper he had specifically picked to match his eyes and the tone of the gift. After all, red is the color of love and passion.

But it's also the color of hate and anger.

"Orihara-san?" Anri poked her head into the room with a box in her hands. "I found it."

Izaya tore his eyes away from the ribbon, bunching it up in his hands as he forced a smile on his face. "Why thank you, Anri-chan~ You can just leave it there."

The bespectacled girl appeared to be questioning Izaya's smile, sensing its stiffness, but shrugged it off and placed the box on the ground, leaving in the next moment. Once Anri was gone, Izaya's smile faded and he turned back to the ribbon in his clenched fist. His eyes narrowed and his expression turned sour as he got up and headed to his trashcan, holding the ribbon above it.

It took him a moment, but he finally let it go and watched the ribbon flutter in the air before falling into the trash. He then turned away from the trashcan and headed back to the box, closed it, and then sealed it shut with tape. He then pushed the box aside and continued going through other boxes and packing stuff up, trying to not think about the box and the bits of his past it held.

* * *

><p>Chikage looked at the sheet of paper in his hand to confirm the address and then turned back to the school building, walking inside as he thought about what had happened that morning.<p>

"_What's this?"_ _Kadota questioned as he picked up the sheet of paper on the dining table with a curious look. "Hey, this is the address of my old primary school…Why do you have it?"_

"_Ah, that?" Chikage looked back at Kadota from where he was making breakfast. "Izaya asked me to do him one last favor since he's leaving today." _

"_Oh, to Russia, right?" Kadota put the paper back down, coming around to see what Chikage was making. "Wonder why he has to leave all of sudden." _

"_Hm, who knows?" Chikage muttered, though his expression was a tad bitter. _

"_Ah," Kadota suddenly perked up as he remembered something. "Speaking of my old elementary school, I remember Shinra, Shizuo, Delic, Izaya, and I had buried a time capsule there. We all wrote wishes and put them inside it, and we said we'd dig it up in fifteen years so I guess next year around graduation time we'll be going back to do that—unless everyone forgot about it." _

'Oh, I don't think Izaya has forgotten about it at all,'_ Chikage thought to himself as he remembered Izaya's request. To Kadota, he said, "Oh? And what did you write, Kadota-chan?" _

"_Hm, I don't remember. I think it was something about getting my dream job, but it was such a long time ago." Kadota shrugged. _

"_Aww, I bet you were a cute kid, Kadota-chan~" _

"_Shut up," Kadota blushed at Chikage's teasing, giving the man a light smack on the arm. "But you know, I kind of miss those days—especially since Izaya and Shizuo didn't fight with each other like they do now." _

"_Hn, why is it that they stopped being friends in the first place?" Chikage asked, trying to appear casual although he was really curious. He had only really heard Izaya's half of the story, and even then he knew Izaya purposely omitted some details. _

"_I'm not sure," Kadota frowned as he thought about it. "Before graduation they were totally fine, but then on graduation day they had a huge fight with each other and then Izaya left for Kyoto in middle school and Shizuo was mad about that." And then as if a light bulb had lighted up above his head, Kadota realized, "Although, the day before graduation I remember that we had seen Yagiri Namie next to Shizuo's locker. That was weird because back when we were kids, Yagiri Namie hated Shizuo because he was best friends with Izaya. But it seems she said something to Shizuo that pissed him off, and then the next day Izaya was mad at Shizuo. So I wonder if she had anything to do with them fighting." _

"_Who's Yagiri Namie?" Chikage inquired, confused. Izaya had never mentioned her before._

"_Oh, she's just this girl who's been Izaya's rival since forever," Kadota explained. "She's always held a grudge against Izaya because he had introduced this girl to her little brother and her little brother fell in love with that girl. Yagiri Namie has a brother complex, you see, so she was really pissed at Izaya for 'taking away her brother from her'. So that's why I wonder if she was the one who drove a wedge between Shizuo and Izaya back then. I mean, they had never fought with other like that before then." _

"_Hmm, I wonder too…" Chikage mused, frowning in thought._

Chikage finally found the tree Izaya had been talking about as the memory was overtaken with questioning thoughts. Could Namie really have been the reason behind the change in Shizuo and Izaya's relationship? It seemed plausible, and a bit ridiculous that a childhood grudge had really ruined their relationship for years, but it wasn't unlikely. Chikage pushed the thought aside for the moment though as he bent down and began to dig for the time capsule with a little garden trowel he had brought with him.

Izaya was right, it wasn't buried very deeply and soon Chikage pulled it from the ground, brushing off the dirt that had stuck to it. It was a little steel cylinder capsule that was a bit rusted with age so it took Chikage a moment to twist off the cap. He dumped the folded papers into his hand, putting aside the ones that didn't look like Izaya's writing.

He finally found Izaya's, sighing sadly as he saw what was written, but then his eyes caught the last note where there was messy scrawl. He picked it up, guessing it was probably Shizuo's since the others didn't sound like him. Once he opened it and read what it said, Chikage had no doubt that this was Shizuo's wish.

"Damn! Is he an idiot?" Chikage exclaimed as he suddenly stood up, quickly stuffing the other notes back into the capsule as he put the other two in his pocket. Once he quickly packed the dirt back where it belonged, Chikage ran off, heading towards the café where Izaya said Shizuo worked.

* * *

><p>"Mi-Mi-Mikado, can you give this order to Senpai?" Kida whispered desperately as he held out the sheet of paper to his friend.<p>

"Eh, why? Can't you give it to him?" Mikado asked with a slightly annoyed look.

"Not when he's like that!" Kida hissed quietly, jerking his thumb back to the bar where the barista stood. "He looks like he'll murder anyone that approaches him!"

And indeed, Shizuo stood at the bar with his arms crossed and a scary, murderous look on his face. Some customers were uneasy, glancing at and then away from the barista. Even Mikado had to admit his senpai looked a bit daunting.

"It's fine, Kida-kun," Mikado tried to reassure the young blonde. "Just don't do anything to anger him further."

But Kida looked at Mikado with a pleading puppy-dog look, and Mikado bit his lip slightly as his resolve to resist began to crumble. Finally, Mikado sighed and held his hand out, "Alright, I'll give it to him."

"Yay! Thank you, Mikado!" Kida cheered as he handed over the slip of paper and planted a quick kiss on the raven's cheek. "I love you!"

Mikado blushed, shaking his head and mumbling something under his breath, before he gulped and dared to approach the bar. "Um, senpai?"

"What?" Shizuo snapped as he turned to glare at the raven.

Mikado flinched at the harsh tone but firmly held out the sheet of paper with the order on it. Shizuo took it without another word, waving the raven away. Mikado gladly left as quickly as he could.

"Jeez Shizuo, don't scare the poor kid like that. And you're frightening customers away."

Shizuo turned, facing his boss and former senpai who looked at Shizuo with a "what am I going to do with you?" look. "Sorry, Tom-san," Shizuo apologized, sighing in exasperation as he ran his fingers through his hair. "It's just…well…things just haven't been great for me lately."

Tom smiled sympathetically at his kouhai, giving him an encouraging pat on the back. "Why don't you take the rest of the day off to clear your head and relax?"

"But Tom-san—" Shizuo started to protest, only for Tom to hold up his hand and silence him.

"Really, Shizuo, you look like you need a break." Tom put his arm around Shizuo, leading him to the back where the locker rooms were.

"I…I guess…" Shizuo muttered hesitantly as he stood next to the door leading to the locker rooms, his hand lingering on the doorknob.

"Look, don't worry about work right now; I can handle the bar for the rest of the day," Tom reassured the blonde as he opened the door for Shizuo. "You just go out and do something fun and come back tomorrow feeling better, alright?"

"…Alright," Shizuo sighed, giving in. "Thanks Tom-san."

"No problem, Shizuo." Tom smiled. "Remember: relax and have fun."

Shizuo gave a light chuckle, "I'll try."

Tom then bid him goodbye and left Shizuo so the blonde could change out of his work clothes. Shizuo moved slowly as he took off his apron and hung it up. He usually just came to work in his work clothes anyway, so he left wearing the black slacks and white button down shirt with his black vest. He pulled on some blue shades to hide the tired, dark bags under his eyes. He didn't get much sleep last night.

Heck, since ever that night with Izaya, he had hardly been able to sleep at all. That night just kept replaying over and over in his head, and he wondered why he had been so stupid. Why he hadn't acted differently? He had just been so angry…

"Hey you! Blondie!" Shizuo moved on, wondering what idiot was screaming. "Shizuo-san!"

"Huh?" Shizuo turned and then frowned when he saw who was calling him. "What the hell do you want?" the blonde hissed as he glared at Chikage, who came running up to him, panting breathlessly.

"You—ha—you!" Chikage gasped between deep gulps of air. Shizuo waited for the man to catch his breath, tapping his foot impatiently. When Chikage finally composed himself, Shizuo opened his mouth to demand what the hell he wanted again, but he was surprised when Chikage struck him instead. And because Shizuo hadn't been anticipating it, he actually got knocked to the ground.

"Why you—!" Shizuo growled as his eyes flashed with anger and he moved back upon his feet, grabbed the collar of Chikage's shirt and pulled his fist back to hit the man.

"Did you really mean it!" Chikage demanded, making Shizuo stop mid-swing.

"Hah?"

"Did you mean it?" Chikage asked more civilly this time, escaping Shizuo's grip and pushing a paper he pulled out of his pocket at the blonde's chest. "Look at what you wrote here. Did you mean it?"

'_What the hell is he talking about?'_ Shizuo wondered with confusion before he glanced down at the piece of paper Chikage had shoved at him. But once he saw what it was, his anger disappeared to be replaced by a look of shock. "Where…Where did you get this? No, wait, _how _did you get this?"

"That doesn't matter," Chikage growled impatiently as he threw his hands up in frustration. "What I want to know is if you really meant what you wrote here."

A tense silence settled between the two of them as they stared at each other with steely gazes. After what felt like forever, Shizuo relaxed his tense body and said softly, "Of course I meant it."

Chikage studied the blonde for a moment, seeing if he was really being honest. Once satisfied, he also relaxed his tense stance as he pulled out another piece of paper and handed it to Shizuo.

Shizuo read it and then looked up at Chikage with an incredulous look, "This—"

"Izaya's leaving for Russia today." Chikage told him before Shizuo could say anything else. "He probably didn't want you to know, but after seeing those notes, well, I couldn't just let him leave without you doing something."

"But—" Shizuo started, only to be interrupted by Chikage again.

"Shizuo-san, there's something you need to know about what happened between Izaya and me," Chikage started calmly. "I did sleep with him before, but that wasn't because we loved each other, or should I say because he loved me. I was just a substitute for him because he kept calling me 'Shizu-chan' the entire time."

Shizuo was astonished. He didn't know what to say. He just looked at Chikage and tried to see if the man was trying to fuck with him, but there wasn't a trace of dishonesty in Chikage's eyes.

"He's loved you since forever and he still loves you," Chikage said with a somewhat bitter look. "And although I'm not entirely sure what the hell happened between you two before, I know you feel the same way. But dammit, if you let him run away again, I'll never forgive you."

"I…I don't understand." Shizuo said slowly, his mind trying to grasp the situation. Could it be that this entire time he was mistaken? That Izaya didn't actually hate him…that he actually…loved him? That they actually felt the same way towards each other? All this time?

"Goddamn, are you really that blind?" Chikage groaned in exasperation. "When Izaya went to Kyoto, it was all to get away from you! He couldn't stand the idea of being near you when he thought you hated him. And now he's doing it again! And I can't let him do that."

"Why not?" Shizuo wondered.

"Because last time he almost killed himself doing that."

Shizuo's eyes widened in disbelief, and he wasn't sure if he had heard that correctly. But Chikage was still looking at him seriously, and Shizuo knew it wasn't a joke.

"There are scars on his legs," Chikage said more softly this time. "Every time he remembered you, he would cut himself."

"But that…he…" Shizuo couldn't believe it. Izaya had…cut himself? Because of him? An uneasy feeling churned in the pit of his stomach. He was disgusted, and not with Izaya and what the raven had done, but with _himself_ and the fact that he had caused the person he loved so much pain, and that it was his fault Izaya resorted to something like cutting. How could he have been so stupid and selfish, thinking he was the only one who had suffered?

"Here." Shizuo looked confusedly as Chikage snatched one of the papers from Shizuo's hands and scribbled something on it, and then handed it back to the blonde. "That's Izaya's address. I'm not sure when he's supposed to leave, but I'm sure he hasn't left yet. But you better go there now before it's too late."

Shizuo looked down at the address for a moment, still a bit dazed at the sudden amount of information that had been dumped on him. But his body reacted faster than his mind, and soon he was racing off to Izaya's home.

And he hoped he wasn't too late.

* * *

><p>"I'm heading off to the train station now," Izaya informed his secretaries. "Make sure the delivery company comes for all these boxes tomorrow to ship to Russia, alright?"<p>

"Yes, Orihara-san," they chorused together, bidding their boss goodbye as he left the apartment to walk to the train station. Once Izaya was gone, the two of them began to work through the boxes, stacking them neatly and cleaning up whatever was left behind for Chikage to sort through.

About fifteen or so minutes into their work, there was frantic knocking at the door. Saki and Anri turned to each other with quizzical looks, thinking that no one was supposed to be here yet. The knocking became louder.

"Coming!" Saki called out, hurrying to the door and answering it. "Hel—"

"Is Izaya here?" Shizuo practically demanded as he almost stormed into the place. He saw the boxes and the nearly barren apartment, but there didn't seem to be a sign of the raven.

"Oh, no," Saki answered when she finally got over her initial shock. "He left awhile ago to catch the train to the Narita Airport."

"What station?" Shizuo asked, looking at Saki with a desperate and somewhat crazed look.

Saki told him the station and before she could say anything else, Shizuo had hurriedly thanked her and ran off again.

"Who was that?" Anri asked as she came to the front door.

"I don't know," Saki replied, turning to Anri with wide and somewhat curious eyes. "But he really wanted to see Izaya-san."

* * *

><p>Mindless chatter filled Izaya's ears as he waited for his train. He tapped his foot impatiently while at his seat, staring at the clock with a glower. He was starting to feel restless. He wanted to leave Tokyo as soon as possible. Maybe if he put some distance between him and the city the crushing feeling in his chest would go away…<p>

Suddenly his attention was caught by the sound of a train announcement. The bell rang and a voice announced the train's arrival and its destination. Thankfully, it was his train. Izaya stood up, got his luggage, and walked towards the platform to wait to board. The loud screech of the wheels against the train track filled the station as the train came to a stop. The doors slid open and just as Izaya moved to enter, a voice stopped him.

"Izaya!" The raven turned at the sound of his name, a surprised cry escaping his mouth when he was suddenly grabbed and pulled away from the train.

"What? Huh? Shizu-chan?" Izaya's eyes widened with surprise as he saw the blonde standing next to him, out of breath and his face red. Shizuo had a tight grip on his arm, and a panicking feeling was beginning to build in Izaya's chest.

Why? Why was Shizuo here? Why did he stop him? How did Shizuo even know he was leaving? Just what was going on?

The bell of the train rang out, nearly deafening everybody, as the doors shut close and the train began to leave. "Ah wait!" Izaya called out, but the train was already gone. "Dammit. Now look at what happened! You made me miss my train, Shizu-chan. What are you going to do if I'm late for my fli—"

"Don't go."

Izaya froze, wondering if he had heard correctly. And as if Shizuo knew that Izaya doubted what he said, the blonde repeated more firmly this time, "Don't go. I want you to stay here…with me."

Izaya's heart began to beat faster in his chest as it swelled with hope. Was Shizuo really asking him to stay? Did he really not want him to leave?

No…he shouldn't get his hopes up. Didn't Shizuo hate him? "Shizu-chan," Izaya started slowly, trying not to show how much Shizuo's words had thrown him off. "Did you hit your head or something? I thought you didn't want to see me again."

"Ah," Shizuo blushed in embarrassment as the harsh words he had said in his fit of anger came back to him. "I—I didn't mean that."

"You sure sounded like you did," Izaya muttered bitterly, pulling his arm from Shizuo's grip and turning away from the blonde. He was afraid of Shizuo seeing the look of fear and pain on his face. "Look, I have to leave the country for work so I won't be bugging you anymore. Aren't you happy about that?"

"No, I'm not," Shizuo insisted, reaching out for Izaya again only to have the raven push his hand anyway. "Izaya—"

"Why are you even here!" Izaya asked angrily, still not facing Shizuo. "Don't you hate me? Why should it matter if I'm leaving? Why did you stop me?"

Shizuo didn't answer him, and Izaya felt his mouth curl up into a sad smile. Was some god up there enjoying toying with his feelings this way? "Just leave me alone, Shizu-chan."

There wasn't a sound from the blonde and for a moment, Izaya actually thought Shizuo had left. But he found out Shizuo hadn't left when he felt a paper pressed into the palm of his hand. "What?"

Izaya turned around, holding the paper and looking at Shizuo questionably. The blonde just looked at him seriously, gesturing to the paper. "Read it."

Izaya frowned, not liking that Shizuo was ordering him around, but he glanced down at the paper and the frown disappeared from his face to be replaced by shock.

_I wish for Izaya to stay with me forever._

Izaya wasn't sure when his hands began to tremble slightly, his lips quiver a bit, and tears began to build in the corners of his eyes. "Shizu-chan…this—"

"Is what I wished for fourteen years ago," Shizuo interjected, taking Izaya's hands in his own. "And I still wish for it…I—I don't hate you…and I want you to stay here with me."

Izaya took in a deep breath, his mind spinning with confusion. Did…did Shizuo really just, in a way, confess to him? This wasn't a dream of his, was it? He was pretty sure he wasn't asleep, but if he was, he just prayed he wouldn't wake up.

"…Well?" Shizuo grumbled impatiently, making Izaya look at him questionably. "Are you going to stay or not?"

So it wasn't a dream? Tentatively, Izaya reached out and touched Shizuo's face. It felt solid under his fingers. This was real. And then Izaya couldn't help the wide grin that spread across his face. "Well, if you're really going to miss me that much if I'm gone, I guess I could stay just for you, Shizu-chan~ But you know, it'll be harder to get rid of me now!"

Shizuo rolled his eyes, but there was happy and relieved smile on his face as he moved his arms to wrap around Izaya and brought the raven close to his chest. "Always knew you were flea. Damn hard to get rid of a parasite."

And before Izaya could say anything else, Shizuo shut him up with a kiss that was long overdue.

* * *

><p>The door to Shizuo's apartment had barely shut close before they were grabbing each other. Shizuo pushed Izaya up against the wall, his hands gripping Izaya's hips as his mouth locked with the raven's, their tongues unabashedly tasting each other and twisting together. Izaya had his fingers tangled in Shizuo's wild, messy hair as he wrapped his legs around the blonde's waist. Not daring to let go of each other, they clumsily threw off their shoes and walked into the living room, losing articles of clothing along the way.<p>

Shizuo pushed off Izaya's jacket and then threw it aside as Izaya began to unbutton Shizuo's vest before pushing it off while beginning to work on the white shirt. They pulled apart briefly from their kiss only so Shizuo could pull off Izaya's shirt and toss it to the ground before reconnecting once again.

They toppled onto the couch, Shizuo lying down with Izaya on top of him. Pulling away from each other as they gasped for breath, faces flushed, the two of them stared at each other before happy laughs erupted from their mouths. They stayed like that for a while, letting the laughs gradually subside before they returned to gazing into each other's eyes.

"What're you thinking about?" Shizuo asked quietly as he reached up and brushed his fingers against Izaya's cheek.

"Hm," Izaya murmured as he nuzzled his face against Shizuo's hand like a cat. "A lot of things."

"Like what?"

Izaya paused for a moment, lying his head down against Shizuo's chest and listening to the blonde's heartbeat. "I'm thinking about the possibility of this being a dream. That somehow I must have dozed off at the train station and this is all my imagination."

Shizuo let out a disbelieving snort, earning a glare from Izaya which got him laughing again. "I fail to see what you find so hilarious," Izaya monotonously stated, his eyes sharp.

"I'm not laughing at you," Shizuo told Izaya when he stopped laughing, though there was still an amused smirk on his face. "I just find it funny that I was thinking the same thing. But it's not a dream. And I'll prove it to you."

Izaya opened his mouth to ask how the blonde was going to do that, but the only sound that escaped was a surprised yelp as Shizuo suddenly swept Izaya up in his arms, moving towards the bedroom. Izaya could feel his heart beating faster in his chest as he suddenly realized the situation he was in. Shizuo gently placed him on the bed, balancing himself above the raven on his hands and knees. Izaya sat up slightly, suddenly a bit embarrassed as he mumbled, "Um, Shizuo, mayb—"

But Shizuo stopped him, reaching down and capturing Izaya's lips. One hand cradled the raven's head, tilting it slightly for a better angle. It was a sweet kiss, slow and gentle. It drove Izaya nuts because he kind of wanted Shizuo to be a bit more rough and demanding, but he relented to the blonde, allowing Shizuo to slowly trail kisses down his jaw to his neck, gently nipping. It was only when he reached the curve of Izaya's shoulder to his neck did Shizuo bite down, sucking and leaving a dark mark of possession.

A startled cry left Izaya's lips before Shizuo drowned it out with another long and achingly slow kiss. Shizuo's hands also touched his body, although lovingly with gentle caresses that made Izaya's body ache for more. Why was Shizuo being so gentle? He hadn't been this way when he tried to attack Izaya last time, although granted he was drunk and angry that time. But Izaya had never pegged Shizuo for being this kind in bed—not that he didn't like this though. This was actually kind of pleasant in a charming way.

Izaya sighed softly when Shizuo pulled away only to scatter kisses about Izaya's chest. Izaya felt his body shiver, and his pants were starting to become very uncomfortable. Thankfully though, Shizuo began to reach down and undo Izaya's belt and pants, pulling them down and kicking them aside. And just as Shizuo reached for the waistband of his boxers, Izaya remembered his scars.

He gasped, reaching down and grabbing Shizuo's hand as he exclaimed, "Wait!"

Shizuo looked at him questionably for a moment and Izaya tried to fight back a blush of embarrassment. But then a sense of understanding lighted in Shizuo's eyes and he gently kissed the side of Izaya's head, saying, "I want to see them."

Izaya looked up at the blonde, shocked, "Wait…how did you know…?"

"So they're actually there," Shizuo confirmed, looking at Izaya seriously. "The—" Shizuo paused, seeming to struggle with saying the word before he muttered, "scars…"

Izaya felt his face heat up, this time not bothering to hide it. He wondered if Shizuo was disgusted at the idea of his scars and how they got there. Would Shizuo hate him for that? Izaya unconsciously moved away from the blonde, but Shizuo grabbed his waist, not allowing him to move.

"Let me see them," Shizuo repeated as he once again tried to pull off Izaya's boxers.

"Ah but—!" Izaya started in protest, reaching out to stop Shizuo again. But Shizuo was stronger and used his other hand to push Izaya's aside as he slid the boxers off the raven. Izaya tried to hide his face as Shizuo looked at the thin but long scars all over his thighs.

The blonde's eyes narrowed as he frowned. He wasn't sure how many scars there were, but there were more than enough to make him feel unsettled. To think that he was the one that made Izaya do this… He was disgusted with himself for not being able to see it sooner. As his hand grabbed Izaya's thighs, Shizuo bent down and gently placed his lips against the scars, kissing each of them softly.

Almost silent, surprised gasps left Izaya's mouth as he pressed the back of his hand to his mouth. His eyes watched Shizuo carefully as his face burned with slight embarrassment and anger over his own embarrassment. He had never acted this way before when he slept with other guys, but then again, those guys hadn't been Shizuo. And he hadn't been in love with those guys. Izaya sucked in his breath sharply as his body jolted at the sudden sensation of something hot and _wet_ against his skin. He looked down, his face seeming to burn even more as he watched Shizuo gently lap at the scars on his legs with his tongue. Shivers of pleasure coursed through the raven's body as Izaya's fingers curled around the bed sheets.

"I'm sorry," Shizuo murmured when he pulled away from Izaya's legs, though his fingers lightly traced the scars. "I—" Shizuo didn't continue as he turned away, ashamed and angry with himself as his hands curled into fists. Izaya could only watch—a bit confused as to what Shizuo was apologizing for.

"Sorry about what?" Izaya asked.

"About this," Shizuo growled frustratingly, gesturing to Izaya's scars. He thought back to hateful words he had said to Izaya so long ago that spurred the raven's actions. "If I hadn't been so stupid and angry…none of this would have happened."

Izaya looked at the forlorn expression on Shizuo's face and felt a tug in his heart. So Shizuo wasn't disgusted with him and his scars. He was relieved and happy to hear that. Izaya tried to be lighthearted to cheer up the blonde, jokingly saying, "Yeah, you're right. None of this would have happened if you didn't say what you said to me." Shizuo looked at him incredulously before he continued, "But you know, it doesn't matter anymore."

Izaya pushed Shizuo down on his back, straddling the blonde's hips as he began to work on Shizuo's pants. "What's done is done, and we shouldn't focus on the past anymore. We should focus on the present. And presently, you are about to get pleasured by yours truly, so sit back and enjoy it~"

"Izaya, you don't hav—" Shizuo started to say but Izaya shushed him by placing a finger against his lips before returning to taking off Shizuo's pants. Once he had successfully flung Shizuo's pants aside, Izaya turned his attention to the growing tent in Shizuo's boxers. With a lustful expression on his face, Izaya pulled down the dark blue boxers and threw them aside; turning back to his partner's hard on.

Licking his lips in anticipation, Izaya wrapped his fingers around the base of Shizuo's cock and leaned downward, flashing his tongue out of his mouth to lick the tip of Shizuo's cock. He heard the blonde's breath hitch in anticipation before a low, aroused growl rumbled. Smirking with satisfaction, Izaya continued his ministrations, trailing his tongue down the length of Shizuo's member as his hand began to pump at the base slowly while the other massaged the blonde's balls. He heard Shizuo groan pleasurably, and this only urged Izaya on as he took Shizuo in deeper. He bobbed his head up and down, sucking and licking as his own body ached with need, though he did his best to ignore it.

"Mmnn," Izaya moaned, the sound sending vibrations down Shizuo's cock as the blonde hissed, his hips unconsciously bucking towards Izaya. This caused Izaya to hold Shizuo's hips down and move faster, his head going up and down quickly.

"Shit, Izaya, wai—nnghhn," Shizuo grunted as he grabbed at the raven's hair, panting as Izaya only gave a Shizuo a look that asked, "You really want me to stop?" before returning to lapping at the blonde's engorged manhood. Shizuo could feel heat pooling in the pit of his stomach as the organ felt like it was tightening as he peaked. He tugged gently at Izaya's hair, urging, "Izaya, dammit. Sto—" Shizuo's words were interrupted as a guttural sound left his mouth, signaling his climax.

Izaya's shout of surprise was muffled as he quickly began to swallow the cum Shizuo had ejaculated, slurping every last drop until the blonde was completely spent. He pulled away with a gasp, taking in deep breaths as he wiped away some drool that had accumulated on the side of his mouth. Izaya was proud and satisfied that he pleasured Shizuo, smirking confidently as he teased, "Enjoy it, Shizu-chan~?"

Shizuo just glared at the raven for a moment before he flipped Izaya over on his back and rolled over on top, saying, "My turn now."

Izaya's body tensed in anticipation before relaxing as Shizuo trailed his hands down the raven's torso before gripping Izaya's hardened member, stroking it slowly and then quickening. Izaya could feel a fire building up in his body as Shizuo then licked his neck, moving downward towards his chest where the blonde paid special attention his nipples. His tongue swirled around a perky, pink nub before his teeth gently nipped it.

"_Ahhhnn_!" Izaya cried out, his body jerking in response as his face heated up. Shizuo smirked, teasing the raven's nipple a bit more as Izaya began to whimper underneath him, his back arching slightly. The blonde also started to pump Izaya's cock faster, his hand slick with precum as the raven's body began to tremble from the sensations. Izaya could feel his own climax approaching as he grabbed fistfuls of the bed sheets while his abdomen tightening with built up pressure. Shizuo pumped Izaya's cock, his thumb flashing over the head and teasing the slit at the top and then that did it for Izaya. The raven cried out, squirting his semen onto himself as his fingers and toes curled. He collapsed against the bed when he was done, out of breath and dazed.

He felt Shizuo kiss him gently on the forehead although there was also a familiar feeling of something prodding against his entrance. Izaya looked down, seeing that Shizuo had coated his fingers with the raven's cum and was now inserting them inside. A pained hiss gritted through Izaya's teeth as Shizuo slipped a slick finger inside. It had been years since he last slept with someone, so it was like he was virgin all over again.

Squirming slightly in discomfort, Izaya was relieved that Shizuo let him adjust to the intrusion before beginning to move his finger in and out, letting another one join only when he felt Izaya was ready.

"Ha…ah, nnnmm," the raven's breathing became heavier as he flinched slightly at the pain. But soon Izaya started to sigh pleasurably, loosening and succumbing to the pleasure the pain brought. He began to respond to Shizuo's movements, pushing his hips against the blonde's fingers and sucking them in even deeper.

"Shit, a bit tighter than I thought," Shizuo mumbled, feeling Izaya squeeze down on his fingers. He began to stretch them apart, preparing Izaya carefully and thoroughly to minimize the pain. Shizuo began to search for that spot he remembered reading about that was pleasurable for guys. Once he found it, he gave it an experimental push and was a bit startled when Izaya cried out, his body jolting with pleasure before subsiding to tremors.

"Oh god," Izaya murmured breathlessly, his hips moving to get that feeling again. He turned to Shizuo with aroused, half-lidded eyes and a flushed face, softly sighing, "Shizuo."

Shizuo was paralyzed, feeling all the blood rushing straight to his groin as his face heated up. He swore he heard a crack in his head, indicating that was his patience snapping. Screw being slow and gentle.

"Shiz—ahh!" Izaya had begun to question only to shout in surprise when Shizuo suddenly pulled out his fingers, spread apart the raven's legs and then thrust himself in without warning. Sharp pain filled Izaya's body as he almost tried to force the sudden intruder out. His hands gripped at the sheets tightly, his eyes shutting to force back tears. Izaya tried to take in deep breaths and adjust to the feeling of being full and like his stomach was being impaled.

"Damn," Izaya swore as he tried his best to glare at Shizuo. "That hurts!"

"Sorry," Shizuo apologized, taking in his own shuddering breaths as he leaned forward and tried to relax Izaya with sweet kisses. "But I couldn't wait anymore."

And before Izaya could retort, Shizuo gripped his legs, pulled out, then thrust again, starting a pace that steadily grew faster. The room was soon filled with sounds of their love making, the bed squeaking as it rocked, their breaths mixing together, and wanton moans escaping Izaya's mouth. Izaya had wrapped his arms around Shizuo's shoulders, his nails scratching at the blonde's back as he panted and mewled in the blonde's ear. Shizuo had placed his face in the crook of Izaya's neck, once again leaving dark hickeys that marked Izaya as his.

"Sh-Shizu-ohh," Izaya groaned as he pulled away to look at the blonde's face. "I-I can't—mmnnph."

He was interrupted as Shizuo reached up and grabbed the back of Izaya's head, pushing their mouths together in a passionate kiss. Shizuo could feel himself slowly losing it, reaching his peak once again, as their tongues tangled together and he pummeled into Izaya mercilessly. With one last thrust, he felt Izaya clamp down on him hard and grunted against the kiss as he came. Izaya's scream was also muffled by their kiss as he climaxed, his back arching slightly.

They both collapsed onto the bed when spent, sticky with sweat and their own bodily fluids. Shizuo had moved over to the side so he wouldn't fall on top of Izaya. He was presently was trying to catch his breath and let the white splotches of pleasure fade from his vision. Izaya panted tiredly on the other side, his whole entire body feeling numb yet tingling. He heard Shizuo mumble something and frowned when he couldn't make it out. "What?"

"Nothin'," Shizuo muttered, suddenly embarrassed as his face reddened.

"No, what did you say, Shizu-chan?" Izaya demanded, curious now as he rolled over closer to Shizuo.

"I didn't say anything."

"Lies! Tell me!" Izaya poked Shizuo's side.

"Hey, you were the one who wasn't listening!"

"I couldn't even hear you!"

"Then that's your fault."

"Humph!" Izaya pouted, puffing his cheeks as he turned away from Shizuo.

"Oh come on, Izaya."

"No," Izaya pulled away when Shizuo reached for him. "Shizu-chan is being mean."

"Izaya."

"Hmph."

"Izaya." Shizuo's tone was more firm this time, but Izaya still shook his head and turned away. He heard Shizuo sigh exasperatedly and felt the bed shift in weight. Izaya panicked for a moment, thinking that Shizuo was leaving and mad at him again. He began to turn around to stop Shizuo, but was surprised when Shizuo grabbed him instead and pulled him on top of himself. Shizuo pushed Izaya's head down, kissing the raven long and sweetly again. When they pulled away, Shizuo smiled at him and said, "I love you."

Izaya just stared for a moment, the words sinking in and warming his chest. He never thought he would hear those words from Shizuo. He felt like crying, but being the person he was, he instead let a smirk curl upon his face as he said, "Of course you love me. Who wouldn't?"

Shizuo rolled his eyes but there was an amused glint in them as he chuckled. And then Izaya decided it was the perfect time to reach down for another kiss.

* * *

><p><em><strong>A few days later…<strong>_

Shiki sighed tiredly as he hung up the phone. He massaged his temples, feeling a migraine coming on. Now who was he going to send to Russia since Izaya had just changed his mind? Damn boy was always doing things his way.

"So tense, Shiki," a voice murmured in Shiki's ear as someone came up behind him, massaging his shoulders. "I guess Orihara-kun finally resolved his little problem with that childhood friend of his?"

"Yes, and now it's a mess," Shiki sighed as he allowed himself to relax at the other man's touch. "I have to find someone else to send to Russia now since he refuses to go."

"You could always force him to go," the man suggested as he worked on the knots in Shiki's shoulders, gently kneading them.

Shiki snorted in disbelief, rolling his eyes at such a notion, "And be on even worse terms with that 'friend' of his? No thank you. Shizuo already hates me enough considering what happened with Tsugaru."

"Hm," the other man mused. "Perhaps I could take care of Russia for you?"

"No," Shiki immediately answered with a frown. "I already told you you're not allowed to leave my side ever again."

The Awakusu-kai executive turned around, facing the other man. "You understand, right Akabayashi?"

The red-haired Awakusu-kai executive just smiled widely, taking Shiki's hand in his own and placing a kiss on it like Shiki was a prince. He looked up at Shiki from behind his sunglasses, his voice betraying his happiness just a bit as he said, "Whatever you want, Shiki-no-danna."

Shiki smirked, tugging on Akabayashi's tie and bringing the man down for a real kiss.

* * *

><p>Izaya shut his cell phone once the conversation was done, sighing in relief that Shiki hadn't gotten mad at him for rescinding his acceptance of the job. He sipped on his coffee then, looking around curiously at the people sitting around him at the café. His eyes stopped when he spotted the regular couple he had seen earlier. They seemed to be happier than ever, shyly smiling at each other as they shared a plate of cookies. The blonde with the white scarf then whispered something in the red-eyed raven's ear that made the poor boy blush profusely. Izaya couldn't help the small smile that spread across his face in response. Before he had been jealous of them, but now he could relate to their affections.<p>

Izaya turned back to the time on his cell phone, wondering what was taking Shizuo so long to get off work. And as if he had known Izaya was getting impatient, Shizuo came out of the restaurant in the next second, looking towards Izaya with a small smile.

"Ready to go?" he asked, getting a nod of confirmation from the raven as Izaya finished off his coffee and stood up.

They walked hand-in-hand, not minding the silence between them. It was almost like they had reverted back to their old childhood relationship, simply enjoying each other's presence.

"Well, well, look what we have here!" a teasing and familiar voice came out of nowhere. They both turned around, finding their friend Delic standing there with a happy and slightly sly smirk on his face. "Nice to see you two being all friendly again."

"And not so nice to see that you haven't changed a bit, Delic," Izaya retorted with mocking dismay.

Delic rolled his eyes, although he was smiling to show he wasn't hurt by Izaya's insult. He ruffled Izaya's hair affectionately, saying, "I missed you too, Zaya." And with a wicked spark in his eyes, he then leaned forward and gave Izaya a quick kiss on the lips.

In the next second both he and Izaya were pulled away from each other. Shizuo was glaring daggers at the other blonde as he growled, "Delic!" while said man was held by Hibiya, who was also glaring at the pink eyed blonde angrily.

"Care to explain _that_ right now, Delic?" Hibiya asked, his tone dangerous and biting as his eyes narrowed into an icy stare.

"Ah! Hibiya! I can explain!" Delic quickly tried to appease his lover while Izaya dragged Shizuo away before the blonde added to the damage.

Shizuo seemed to pout afterwards, dissatisfied with not being able to hit Delic a couple of times. Izaya tried to cheer him up, but the blonde was still glowering. "Oh come on, Shizu-chan, it was just a small kiss. It didn't mean anything. You know Delic; he was just trying to get a rise out of you."

"Doesn't change the fact that he kissed you," Shizuo grumbled.

"Aww, Shizu-chan, are you jealous?"

"Of course I am!" Shizuo pulled Izaya into his arms, holding the raven close to his chest. "If someone came up and kissed me right now, wouldn't you be jealous?"

"Hn, you have a point there," Izaya remarked, smiling as he reached up and wrapped his arms around Shizuo's neck. "But then I'd make sure that would never happen."

"Hn, of course you would," Shizuo said with a knowing smile, the both of their faces inching closer…

A loud ringing sound interrupted the two of them though as they pulled apart, startled. Then Shizuo frowned and grumbled as he realized it was his cell phone signaling he received a new text. Disgruntled, he pulled it out of his pocket rather harshly and flipped it open, cursing whoever interrupted them. But then the look on his face softened when he saw who sent it.

**To: Shizuo**

**From: Tsugaru**

**Subject: [No Subject]**

_Congrats on finally getting him! _

Attached was a picture of Tsugaru and Psyche doing victory peace signs as they smiled. Shizuo chuckled, ignoring Izaya's questions of what it was as he quickly typed out "Thanks" in reply before putting his cell phone away.

"Shizu-chan, what was it?"

"Nothing important, Izaya. Now come on, we're going to be late for dinner."

"Meanie," Izaya pouted cutely, still clinging onto Shizuo's arm as the two began to walk off to their date. But then Izaya paused, tilting his head slightly as he thought he heard a cry—something like a baby's cry. He looked around, but there were no children in sight and the cry was gone.

Shizuo looked at him questionably, wondering why he stopped. "What's the matter?"

"Oh, nothing," Izaya replied, listening carefully again but the sound never returned. "I thought I just heard something."

"Like what?"

"I don't know," Izaya shrugged. "Guess it was just the wind."

Shizuo shrugged as well, dropping the subject as he and Izaya continued on walking, never letting go of each other for a second.

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><p><em><strong>You know how people get that weird feeling when they meet their first love again? <strong>_

_**That feeling of déjà vu and awe, and then they wonder, 'Is it fate that we met again? Does that mean we're supposed to end up together?'**_

_**Sometimes, the answer is no.**_

_**But sometimes, the answer is yes.**_

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><p><strong>Whew, my gosh, this turned out longer than I anticipated. Only 2000 words away from beating Delic's long chapter! But wow, I hope you guys liked that! ^^ <strong>

**In other news, I have an important question for you all! **AniFreakZ** mentioned in her/his (Sorry I fail at telling your gender correctly. XD I didn't want to assume anything.) review that s/he would like an extra chapter about Chikage/Kadota because s/he was curious about their relationship. And it got me thinking and…well, let's just say I already have a plot planned, document saved and I started writing up a bit of their story already. XD And while I was at it, I even planned plots for other minor pairings I put in this story!**

**So my question to you all is: **Would you like a story featuring the minor pairings?

**If you want a little more info on the story, here is the title, a summary I wrote for it (Haha, it rhymes! Okay, moving on now…) and the pairings the story will feature!**

**The Little Things You Didn't Notice **(Aren't I so title original? XD)

**Summary:** (ALTCL-verse) Two men with a secret past that can't let go of their pride. Two men who struggle to see eye to eye. And two boys whose friendship turns into something more. These are the little things you didn't notice before.

**Pairings:**Chikage/Kadota, Akabayashi/Shiki, and Mikado/Kida (Because they're all my guilty pleasure OTPs!)

**I'm still somewhat on the fence about writing it fully and publishing it if not a lot of people want it, but if I see you guys would love to see the story, then I'll definitely do it. Just pick one of these answers and put in your review! **

**A1) OMG YES XALERIA! Do the story! DOOOO ITTTTT! I COMMAND YOU TO!**

**A2) NO XALERIA! Don't do it! This is a boring idea! WORK ON MORE SHIZAYA STORIES!**

**Haha, ok, so you don't actually have to put those answers in your review, but an answer on whether you would like to see the story or not would be nice. :)**

**For those of you who may be wondering **'Will this story feature the Shizaya couples from ALTCL?'**, my answer to that is…well, I'm not entirely sure yet. They **_may_ **be featured in the story, but they are not going to play major roles so if they do show up, it will be a few times only.**

**Wow, sorry for making you read that long author's note. XD But thank you guys for loving this story so much! And thank you for reading and reviewing!**

**Next story will be Shitsuo and Sakuraya's! ^^ Theirs is going to be a bit different but I'll tell you more about that when I post it.**

**-Xaleria**


	21. Shizuo & Izaya Omake

**So some of you pointed out I didn't really get into what happened with Izaya's confession and how Namie ruined everything for him and Shizuo. I mostly just hinted at it. And I realized, you're totally right! OTL Forgive me for that little plot hole.**

**So here's a little extra on what happened exactly. Although I mostly just tell Namie's part. I didn't rewrite the part where Izaya waits to confess but Shizuo never shows as that scene was in the first part of Shizuo and Izaya's story and pretty much what happened at that part. Sorry I didn't actually include these parts before though, so enjoy everyone~!**

**BTW, this extra in un-betaed so I apologize if there's any typos anywhere. OTL It's 3AM here and my brain is (somehow) wide awake while my eyes are like 'SLEEP!'. XD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters.**

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><p><strong>Shizuo &amp; Izaya Omake<strong>

"There." Izaya pulled away to survey his product, his hands on his hips and a satisfied smile on his face. The chocolate he had spent hours making was skillfully wrapped in a shiny crimson paper he had specifically picked to match his eyes. A bright gold ribbon was wrapped around the box to accent it, standing out beautifully against the red color.

He was so happy and relieved it had turned out okay. And now the only issue was giving it to a certain someone tomorrow…

Izaya bit his lip slightly in worry, glancing at the chocolate as he began to clean up after himself. He wondered if maybe he was being too over the top. He knew Shizuo liked sweets, but would he like the idea that came with the chocolate? What if he didn't? What he rejected it? What if he didn't feel the same way Izaya felt? What if friendship was the only thing Shizuo wanted?

Izaya could feel the anxiety growing in him as his heart beat faster. He really shouldn't worry about it. He was sure it would be okay. He and Shizuo were inseparable after all.

_Yes_, he thought with a confident nod of confirmation. Even if Shizuo didn't feel the same way…they would still be friends wouldn't they? It wasn't what Izaya wanted, but if Shizuo did…he could live with that. After all, he loved Shizuo. He would do anything for him.

Absolutely anything. Even still be his best friend when Izaya wanted to be something more.

He could that…

Maybe.

* * *

><p>"Hey Zaya!" Izaya was slightly startled when he felt a hand clap on his shoulder. He quickly stuffed the wrapped box and letter back into his desk, looking up over his shoulder at the smiling pink-eyed blonde that stood behind him. "Everyone's thinking about coming over to my place after school today to play games, you wanna come?"<p>

"Uh," Izaya muttered for a moment as his eyes glanced down at the letter and box. That put a little damper on things, but as long as Shizuo read the letter before he left, it should be fine. He and Shizuo could even go to Delic's after if things turned out okay. Izaya turned back to Delic, giving him a small smile, "Sure, but I have something I need to do after school so I'll meet you guys at your place later, okay?"

"Alright then," Delic shrugged, walking off to tell the others.

Izaya sighed, looking back at the box and letter in his desk before he took out the letter and walked out the classroom, heading to the shoe lockers. As he walked into the main entrance where the lockers were, he bumped into someone who was just heading back inside. Izaya turned, readying to apologize until he saw who it was. Then he frowned as the other person also saw who it was and frowned as well.

"Why hell there, _Namie-chan_," Izaya greeted with just a bit of a sneer as his eyes narrowed sharply at the brunette girl.

"_Orihara-kun_," she greeted with just as much acid in her tone and hate in her eyes. She noticed Izaya was holding a red envelope in his hand and she briefly wondered what it was for. "And where are you going?"

"I hardly think that's any of your business."

Namie snorted, shrugging and pretending not to care. "Whatever."

Izaya just gave her one last cold look before continuing on his way, Namie heading in the opposite direction of him. But she glanced over her shoulder, seeing Izaya disappear into a row of lockers. If she remembered correctly, that wasn't where his shoes were as his locker was actually pretty close to hers. But then she remembered that Heiwajima Shizuo's locker was in the row Izaya went to, and they were best friends. So maybe Izaya was putting something in Shizuo's locker? But hadn't Izaya been holding a…what was it? A letter?

_Hmm, _Namie thought to herself curiously, turning back around and returning to her classroom. Perhaps this was something worth looking into…

* * *

><p>Namie glanced around the main entrance, making sure that no one was around to see her. She had faked being sick and was able to leave class a bit early to 'go to the infirmary'. She was really curious as to what Izaya had put into Shizuo's locker. If it was anything she could use against them, that would be just grand! She needed to get back at Izaya anyway for ruining her relationship with her little brother. The bastard.<p>

Seeing the coast was clear, Namie slipped into the row of lockers and found Shizuo's, opening it up and seeing the red envelope sitting atop of the boy's outdoor shoes. She took it, ripped it open and pulled out the piece of paper filled with Izaya's precise handwriting.

She scanned through most of the beginning contents—most of it being about Izaya and Shizuo's close friendship—her expression twisting with disgust at how sickly sweet the letter sounded for it being from _Orihara Izaya_. But then her eyes widened with surprise as she read on and realized just what kind of letter this was.

…_I guess what I'm really trying to, Shizu-chan, is that I like you more than as a best friend. And if you feel the same way, meet me under the sakura tree where we buried the time capsule after school. I have a surprise for you._

A confession letter. Namie wanted to laugh—and she almost did—but she quickly stopped herself as she realized that if she did that, she'd get caught skipping. But to think that Izaya actually had a crush on his best friend! Oh, this was more than she ever hoped for!

She could ruin his entire life with just this little letter.

And so she did.

Namie walked up to a trash can, tearing up the letter and letting the paper bits fall into the bin. Shizuo would never see it. He would never know what Izaya felt. He would not meet Izaya, and Izaya would assume Shizuo had rejected him. And hopefully, this would make the raven feel as horrible as she wanted him to feel.

If only she knew just what her actions would do to both him and Shizuo in the future.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fourteen years later…<strong>_

Chikage waited patiently, leaning against the trunk of a car as he fiddled with a small blade. He waited inside an abandoned parking structure, with just the lone black, nondescript car he was leaning against. A shadow cast beside him then, the click of heels against the concrete breaking the silence. "Rokujo Chikage?"

It was a feminine voice that spoke, cool and composed. Chikage looked up through his bangs and from the rim of his hat, seeing a pretty tall woman with long black hair and sharp, dark eyes looking at him impatiently, her arms crossed.

"That's me. So you're Yagiri Namie?" Chikage smiled all friendly like, standing up straight. "Nice to meet you." He held out his hand in offering, but she didn't bother to shake it.

Instead, she somewhat scowled at it in distaste and upturned her nose snootily, demanding, "So what did you want from me?"

"Hm, that's hard to say exactly." Chikage pulled away his hand, not seeming at all affected by her blatant rudeness as he stuffed his hand in his pants pocket.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Namie glared at him icily, her tone clipped. "Did you really just call me out here for nothing?"

"Joke?" Chikage laughed, although the sound was hollow and a bit frightening. "Oh no, this isn't a joke at all, Yagiri-san."

Namie was starting to feel a bit freaked out about this situation, sensing something was off about it. "If you're not buying any information, I'm out of here." She turned on her heel to leave when Chikage's voice paralyzed her.

"But Yagiri-san, don't you want to see your brother?"

Namie turned slowly, a horrified look on her face as Chikage just smiled wickedly. He popped open the trunk, dragging out a boy that was tied up, bruised, gagged, and blindfolded. Namie shrieked, "Seiji? What have you done to him!"

"Nothing yet," Chikage simply stated, grabbing a fistful of the boy's brown hair, holding a knife to his throat as a warning for Namie to be mindful of her actions.

Namie shook with withheld anger, biting her lip as she glared at Chikage murderously. "What do you want from me? Why did you drag my brother into this?"

"Oh, simple," Chikage shrugged casually as if he weren't holding onto someone's life right now. "I merely wanted you to feel what it's like to watch the one you love be hurt."

And then before Namie could even do anything Chikage reached down and cut across the boy's chest, blood spilling from it. It wasn't deep enough to really put his life in danger, but it still hurt. The boy cried out in pain, his scream muffled.

"Stop!" Namie demanded, her eyes widening crazily as she watched Chikage cut the boy all over, always shallow cuts that wouldn't kill him but still sting. The boy's chest, his arms, his legs. Chikage cut wherever there was skin. Blood began to soak through the boy's clothes. "STOP IT!"

Namie ran over, forcing the knife out of Chikage's hands and she pushed the man aside. "Seiji! Seiji, are you okay!" she called out in worry, working off the gag and blindfold. But then she gasped and pulled away, shock evident on her face as she finally saw the boy's entire face. It wasn't her Seiji. Just someone who looked similar enough o him.

"What…what is this?" she shouted in disbelief, turning on Chikage.

The auburn-haired man just stood there, a satisfied smile on his face. "You really think I would have dragged an innocent person into this? Of course it wasn't really your brother; that man's just a drug lord the Awakusu-kai wanted to punish anyway."

"How—How dare you!" Namie was angry now, getting up to her feet.

"How dare I?" Chikage countered. He reached out, slamming Namie down against the trunk of the car and trapping her hands, his expression now clearly angered. "How dare you mess around with someone else's feelings like their toys! I just wanted you to feel a little bit of what Izaya felt before."

Namie was stunned, speechless as she just stared at Chikage in disbelief. Izaya…? This was all Izaya's fault? What feelings was this man talking about? Izaya deserved what she did to him! Didn't he?

And as if Chikage sensed that was what she was thinking, he pulled out another knife from his pocket, slamming it down into the trunk, giving Namie a small cut on her cheek as he purposely put it as close to her as possible. His voice was low and threatening as he spoke, "This was just a warning. If I catch you trying to mess with Izaya or Shizuo again, the next 'Seiji' I cut might just be the real one."

Namie was too afraid to speak, collapsing on shaky legs to the ground once Chikage let her go and walked away. She watched his retreating back, shivers of fright still coursing through her body.

She usually wasn't an easy person to fright. But that man had certainly frightened her enough.

* * *

><p>Chikage walked out of the parking structure, heading over to a similar dark, nondescript car parked across the street. He opened the door and slid inside, pulling off his hat and fanning himself with it.<p>

"So I'm guessing it went well?" a voice spoke, Chikage turning to the speaker and smiling. Shiki sat across from the auburn-haired man, his legs crossed and his fingers threaded together as he rested his hands atop of his knee. "Your little revenge plot?"

"Yes, it did." Chikage nodded his confirmation. "Thanks for letting me use that man, by the way."

"Of course. We were looking for a way to get rid of him anyway," Shiki stated matter-of-factly like he was talking about the weather. "You actually did us a big favor."

"Ah, well, anything for an old friend."

"Certainly, you and Orihara-kun seem quite close," Shiki commented. "I was surprised when you came to us asking for help."

"Really?"

"Yes, I didn't know you and Orihara-kun knew each other."

"Well, it's a small world," Chikage shrugged. "I didn't even know Izaya had started working for you."

"Well, like you said, it's a small world," Shiki smiled mysteriously as he motioned to the driver to leave.

"I guess it is." Chikage mused with amusement. "You won't tell Izaya about this, right?"

"What Orihara-kun doesn't know won't hurt him."

"Good."

And so Chikage and Shiki rode on in silence, their secret safe between just them.

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><p><strong>Hm, got a little morbid there near the end. XD But of course I wouldn't let Namie get away with messing with our two favorite characters without some sort of twisted revenge. *insert evil laugh here*<strong>

**I hope you guys enjoyed this little extra! And from the looks of the reviews so far, it seems most of you would like to see the other story with the side couples. ^^ For those you who haven't answered my question from last chapter yet, you can still give me your answer. :D Unless you're neutral about it, in which case…well, I guess you can enjoy whatever it comes down to! Haha.**

**I'll reply to all the signed reviews as soon as I'm more awake. And because I keep forgetting [failing] to reply to all the anon reviews (OTL), here are responses now (sadly, these are responses to just the couple last chapter anon reviews because I don't remember when I last replied to anon reviews):**

**Love6:** Oh, I love how you're a returning anon reviewer! ^w^ Usually anon reviewers disappear after one or two chapters (though most still read which still makes me happy), but thank you for sticking around and dropping reviews frequently! :D And yes, Shizuo is a bit of idiot for hurting our poor dear Izaya, but we love him anyway~ I'm glad you thought that chapter was great and hope you enjoyed the update!

**Lalapoker**: I saw that you got an account! Yay! But then I still can't reply to your reviews because PMs are disabled. OTL Oh well, here's my reply now! Haha, sorry about the cliffhanger but I'm glad to see you enjoyed the last chapter! :D And yay for liking Chikage/Kadota! *becausethey'reuberadorablewhodoesn'tlikethem?* XD School is tiring but good~ and no worries about formality! I'm cool with anything. LoL. Thank you too for always dropping reviews like every chapter! :D I love returning reviewers. I RABU YOU ALL!

**Xiggy:** I hope this doesn't weird or anything…but yay for my story taking your anon review virginity! XD Thank you for taking the time to write out a review and for enjoying my story! I hope you enjoyed the update~ And I'm glad to see you can see what Izaya is going through, because that's my goal! ^^

**Monochrome: **I hope this little extra explained a bit more about that situation. I'm sorry there was that plot hole. OTL I failed as an author. DX But thank you for pointing that out! This probably wouldn't have gotten written if you hadn't. Haha.

**Any anon reviewers out there that I didn't mention but reviewed, I'm sorry I didn't personally write out responses for you all. But do know I appreciate your reviews and rabu you too! :3**

**-Xaleria**


	22. Shitsuo & Sakuraya 0

**Alright, first off let me apologize guys that this chapter is very short. I wasn't able to get entire chapter written up, but I felt bad leaving you guys waiting another week for an update. So consider this a prologue to Shitsuo and Sakuraya's story.**

**And like I said before, their story is a bit different from the others because 1) It technically **DOES NOT** tie into the other Shizaya stories and 2) That's because it's set in the **Taisho Era (1912-1926)**. **

**Also, since not much is known about Shitsuo and Sakuraya's personalities, I have pretty much made up my own interpretation of their personalities from pictures I've seen of them and general knowledge on who they are (like Shitsuo is butler Shizuo spin off from Sebastian in Black Butler and Sakuraya is pink Tsugaru version of Izaya). If anything I write about them conflicts with their actual personalities, please overlook it for the sake of the story. I'll also be twisting their ages a bit. XD Thank you for understanding~**

**The BOLD words in the text will be a narration of the story basically.**

**Oh, and one more thing, shout out to** mika . siam .71192 **who actually gave me the idea for the beginning of this story! :D**

**This chapter is un-betaed because I rushed it to you guys. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters.**

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><p><strong>Shitsuo &amp; Sakuraya<strong>

"Shitsuo! Shitsuo! Damn, where did that boy run off to again?" The young, blonde boy of eight years carefully hid himself within the bushes of the garden, warily looking through leaves with his coffee colored eyes. He watched the head butler's feet where he stood only a few feet away. He heard the head butler growl in annoyance and then sigh tiredly, turning to leave. However, Shitsuo still remained hidden in the bushes until he was definitely sure that the head butler was gone.

Once he was sure that he had successfully escaped his afternoon chores, Shitsuo ran off into the depths of the grand gardens, chuckling to himself. Chores were so dreadfully boring and all he wanted to do was play. Not to mention the head butler was always scolding him when he didn't do a proper job. He was tired of it.

Shitsuo stopped when a sudden cry reached his ears. He perked up, tilting his head slightly as he strained to listen. Was that…was that a _baby's_ cry? Curiously following the noise, Shitsuo walked through the gardens until he came to the sakura tree that was planted in the center of the garden. Underneath the blooming tree, whose petals fell gracefully in the air, was a small wrapped bundle that the cries were coming from.

Shitsuo approached the bundle cautiously, peering at the face that peeked through the blanket folds. A pink-faced baby with wisps of black hair was crying its poor lungs out, a steady stream of tears flowing down its chubby cheeks. And then as if it had sensed Shitsuo's presence, the baby stopped crying and looked up Shitsuo with ruby colored eyes. And then the baby giggled, smiling up at Shitsuo as he made incoherent noises.

The young boy blinked, confused, before he reached out and poked the baby's cheek. This seemed to amuse the baby, as it burst out in happy laughter that made Shitsuo smile slightly.

"Shitsuo! Shitsuo, there you are! Do you have any idea of how long I was—dear god, a baby!" the head butler gasped as he finally got close enough to see what Shitsuo was looking over. He rushed over, quickly picking up the baby off the ground and seeing that there was note that had been placed underneath the baby to keep it from flying away.

_Please give him the home I wasn't able to._

That was all the note said. The baby started to fuss in the head butler's arms and was beginning to cry, making the head butler grimace. He looked at Shitsuo, who looked up at him innocently. "You found him, Shitsuo, therefore you must care for him. Here." Shitsuo took the baby awkwardly in his hands and immediately the baby hushed up, giggling at Shitsuo. The head butler sighed, thinking that this was another problem child he had been given although it was a good thing the baby seemed to like Shitsuo. "Come Shitsuo, we will bring the baby to the Master and Madam and see what they want to do with him."

Shitsuo nodded, following the head butler. He really hoped the Madam and Master would keep the baby. He was kind of cute! And Shitsuo liked him.

**And so they went to the Master and Madam of the house. The Madam had been thrilled to see the child, as she was unable to bear any children of her own. And so the Master adopted the child as his own, calling the child 'Sakuraya' after the tree from which he was found. They placed Sakuraya into the care of Shitsuo, to whom the child seemed to have an attachment to. Shitsuo did not mind, for he loved the child. He started to take his job seriously, working hard much to the head butler's happiness. **

**Thus began Shitsuo's days of raising Sakuraya into a fine young master the household could be proud of.**

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><p><strong>Sorry again guys that this chapter isn't much. I promise a much longer chapter sometime next week or weekend.<strong>

**Also, I'm sorry I haven't replied to those of you who reviewed a bit later. I came down with a really bad cold and am still getting over it (hence why the chapter wasn't completely finished).**

**But thank you guys for your amazing reviews last chapter! :D I'm sure I told most of you, but just to confirm I will be writing "The Little Things You Didn't Notice". However, it won't be posted until I am somewhat finished with this story and my other story "Once Upon a Little Time" first, but I hope you guys can look forward to it! :) **

**Thanks for reading and reviewing everyone! I love you all.**

**-Xaleria**


	23. Shitsuo & Sakuraya 1

**You guys are so awesome. TAT Thank you so much for putting up with me and my lack of updating! I'm so sorry this chapter took a while, but I really hope it's worth the wait! **

**Also, let me just apologize ahead of time if my updates come a bit slower now. OTL I have a full schedule this semester and a lot of homework for each class. (T_T) Not to mention I've been working on the side story and another kink meme fill I couldn't resist (you guys might actually be seeing parts of that fill some day!). XD But I will definitely try to finish this story ASAP.**

**This chapter is un-betaed so I apologize if you guys see any typos. If you spot any major mistakes, please go ahead and point them out to me so I can fix them. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters. I do have some OC characters in this story though and I own every one of them!**

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><p><strong>Shitsuo &amp; Sakuraya<strong>

_**Seven years later…**_

"Shitsuooooooooooooo! Let's play!" Sakuraya demanded as he tugged on the older boy's sleeve. Sakuraya was now seven years old, growing into a cute young master with his wispy raven hair and charming scarlet eyes. All the maids doted on him, and the Master and Madam spoiled him endlessly. Shitsuo was the only one who would dare scold the young master, and Shitsuo was the only one that the young mater listened to.

"Not now, Sakuraya," Shitsuo told him as he shrugged Sakuraya off. The fifteen, soon-to-be sixteen, year old boy was focusing on school work. He was working hard to excel in school in order to graduate early so he could focus on his training to take over as head butler. He had just a few more tests to take before he would be able to graduate, but it was hard to study when Sakuraya kept bugging him all the time. "I'll play with you once I finish studying."

"But you're always studying!" Sakuraya huffed, crossing his arms across his chest.

"So I'll play when I'm done."

"And when is that supposed to be?"

"When I'm done."

"Humph!" Sakuraya pouted, glaring at the schoolwork on the desk that was occupying Shitsuo's attention. An idea then popped into his head and Sakuraya smiled as he reached out, grabbing Shitsuo's work off the table and ripping it up.

"Sakuraya!" Shitsuo cried out incredulously, his eyes widening as he stared at the paper he had been working so hard on.

"There!" Sakuraya declared in triumph as he put his hands on his hips. "Now you have no work to study! So let's play!"

Shitsuo could only stare for a moment and then his expression distorted to rage as he pushed his chair away from his desk sharply, it screeching against the ground. He silently picked up the pieces of paper, putting them atop of his desk.

"Shitsuo! Let's play!"

"No!" Shitsuo growled as he glared at Sakuraya. The young raven flinched at the tone, backing away a bit. He had never heard Shitsuo get so angry with him before. "We're not going to play because now I have to redo all the work _you _just tore up! And now I'm going to kick you out of my room and you're not allowed to come back until you realize the error of your actions!"

"B-but—" Sakuraya stammered, looking distraught. He didn't know what to do. Shitsuo scolded him, but he had never been this angry before! Shitsuo always forgave him easily.

"No buts!" Shitsuo firmly said, pushing Sakuraya out of his room. "Now get out and don't come back until you're ready to apologize for what you did!"

And once Sakuraya was outside his room, Shitsuo shut the door in his face, the locks clicking. Sakuraya stood just outside the door, shocked at what had occurred. His lip quivered a bit as his eyes began to water. He sniffed, wiping the tears from his eyes. But they wouldn't stop, and soon the boy was crying freely as he tried to wipe away his tears. "Fine!" he screamed at the door. "I hate you, Shitsuo!"

And then Sakuraya ran off, sobbing the whole way until he was in his own room. He threw himself on the bed, soaking the sheets with his tears as he cried. A long time seemed to pass before he calmed down to just a few sniffles, his eyes red and raw from all the rubbing he did to them. "Stupid Shitsuo!" he grumbled as he clutched a pillow, glaring out the window to his room. The sky had darkened considerably and dinner would soon be served.

But…where was Shitsuo? Sakuraya sat up in his bed and turned to the door, realizing that during the entire time he had been crying Shitsuo hadn't come to him. Usually when he cried, Shitsuo always came to calm him down and comfort him until he stopped. But the blonde hadn't come at all now.

Anger welled inside Sakuraya as he felt tears prickle at the corner of his eyes again. Well, if Shitsuo didn't care about him, then he didn't care about Shitsuo either! And Sakuraya kept that mentality as he went to dinner. He spotted Shitsuo standing at his regular station near the back, where he was in charge of refilling drinks and getting anything the Master and Madam wanted.

Sakuraya felt even angrier when Shitsuo wouldn't look at him. The young master spent the entire dinner stewing in his anger, glancing at Shitsuo who seemed to be ignoring the raven. Was Shitsuo really that angry about his homework? Sakuraya frowned at his plate. Wasn't Shitsuo supposed to take care of him? Didn't that mean that he was more important than homework?

Although, now that he thought about it, maybe what he did was really childish. Sakuraya's frown deepened. He knew that Shitsuo was eight years older and a lot more mature than himself, but he had just wanted to play together. But maybe tearing up Shitsuo's homework hadn't been the right way of getting his attention.

Guilt now pricked at Sakuraya's conscious as he picked at his dinner with his fork with a sad frown. Sakuraya knew that Shitsuo was just doing his best to work hard and take care of him at the same time, but sometimes Sakuraya wished Shitsuo could pay attention to just him.

Throughout the rest of the meal, Sakuraya kept stealing glances at Shitsuo, disheartened that the boy seemed to be adamant in ignoring him. By the time the meal was finished, and Sakuraya was sent off to bed, the boy was a quivering mess whose mind kept spinning with worries.

Sakuraya felt the last stab of guilt in his conscious when it was the head butler who came to tuck him in instead of Shitsuo. "Goodnight, young master," the head butler said as he turned off the lights.

Sakuraya just sort of muttered in response, staring up at the ceiling through the darkness. He wondered if Shitsuo would always stay mad at him? Does that mean tomorrow too, Shitsuo would ignore him? Panicking, Sakuraya sat up and scrambled out of bed, hurrying out of his room and sneaking through the corridors to Shitsuo's room.

"Shitsuo?" Sakuraya called out questionably as he knocked on the door. "Shitsuo, are you there?"

At first there was no answer, and Sakuraya felt his heart sink—thinking that Shitsuo must really hate him—before the door opened slowly, the said blonde looking at Sakuraya with an emotionless expression. "Shouldn't you be in bed, young master?" Shitsuo questioned with a bit of sharp tone that made Sakuraya flinch and bite his lip in worry.

Shitsuo hardly _ever_ called him young master, knowing that Sakuraya disliked it. "Can I come in, Shitsuo?"

The question hung in the air for a moment, Shitsuo staring at the young raven with a serious expression before he sighed and opened the door wider, motioning for Sakuraya to come inside. Once Sakuraya was inside, Shitsuo shut the door and turned to look at younger boy with his arms crossed, "Well what do you want, young master?"

Sakuraya could feel tears pricking at the corners of his eyes from hearing that from Shitsuo. He didn't like hearing Shitsuo call him that. He just wanted them to be like they were before. And then Sakuraya couldn't hold it back, he sniffled and then let out a loud sob as tears began to stream down his face. Shitsuo was shocked for a moment—not actually expecting Sakuraya to burst out crying—and just as he reached out to comfort the young raven, Sakuraya spoke in a shaky voice, "I-I'm ssssoooo s-so-sorryyyyy, Shitsuooooo! D-Doon't hate me pleaseeeee!"

"Damn," Shitsuo muttered under his breath, weak against Sakuraya's tears. "Dammit, Sakuraya, please stop crying. You know I can't stand it when you cry. I don't hate you, okay? Will you please stop crying now?"

"Y-you," Sakuraya sniffed, slowly letting his cries subside. "You don't hate me?"

"Of course not," Shitsuo sighed with a bit of exasperation, pulling out a handkerchief and wiping Sakuraya's face clean. "I was just upset that you did that when I worked so hard on that paper. Understand?"

Sakuraya nodded, guiltily staring at the ground as he apologized in a soft voice, "I'm sorry I did that. And I didn't mean what I said…I don't hate you."

"I know," Shitsuo smiled softly this time at the young raven, ruffling his hair affectionately. "Don't worry about it anymore, Sakuraya; I forgive you."

Sakuraya smiled brightly up at Shitsuo, practically tackling the older blonde as he hugged him tightly, "I love you, Shitsuo."

A bit startled by the sudden declaration of affection but touched, Shitsuo gently hugged Sakuraya back, smiling softly into the boy's raven hair. "I know."

Although it took a bit of convincing from Sakuraya, Shitsuo eventually relented and let the raven spend the night with him as long as Sakuraya returned to his room once Shitsuo got up. The young boy cuddled up close to the older blonde, smiling happily as he drifted off into sweet dreams.

* * *

><p>"What do you say, Shitsuo-kun? Doesn't that sound like a great opportunity for you?"<p>

Shitsuo snapped out of his daze, looking up at the principal of his school with a look of shock and bewilderment. Did he really just hear that right? "I'm…I'm sorry, sir, I'm afraid I wasn't paying attention…?"

The principal didn't seem to mind repeating himself; in fact, he grew even more excited as he explained the situation once again to Shitsuo, "A prestigious college in England contacted us, saying that they were impressed with your results, Shitsuo-kun. They would like to offer you a full scholarship to study at their school to receive your college degree. We'd love for you to accept it, as you are a very bright student with a great future ahead of you, but of course it is your choice whether you would accept their proposition. What would you like to do, Shitsuo-kun?"

Shitsuo felt like a rabbit frozen in fear when approached by a wolf. He saw the expectant look in the principal's eyes and could already tell what the man was thinking. It was such a great offer, why would he dare refuse it? But…

Shitsuo's thoughts trailed off to the young raven-haired boy he'd be leaving behind, and it hurt to think of that. The idea of leaving Sakuraya behind left a gut-wrenching feeling in the pit of his stomach. Besides, hadn't the goal of being a good butler for Sakuraya been his reason for doing well in school? The only reason he even bothered with getting an education was because it would only benefit him in becoming a better butler. But he didn't really need a college degree for that, did he?

"May I think about it before giving you my answer, sir?" Shitsuo inquired, seeing a moment of disappointment in the principal's eyes that he hadn't accepted right away.

But nonetheless the principal smiled warmly at him, saying, "That's fine, Shitsuo-kun. I know this is a life changing decision. Perhaps you can discuss it with your guardian? I'm sure Yasahiro-san would help you decide what is best for you."

Hearing the head butler's name only reminded Shitsuo of his goal of taking over that position. Surely Yasahiro-san would agree that he was intelligent enough to just take over now, right? There was no need to go off to England, Shitsuo was sure Yasahiro would tell him that.

So with that in mind, Shitsuo bid the principal farewell and headed off home, feeling confident that he would not leave the manor or Sakuraya. Because there was no need to, right?

* * *

><p>"Isn't it Cook's job to do the grocery shopping?" Shitsuo sighed wearily, juggling a few bags in his arms as he walked up to the back door of the kitchen of the manor. The moment he had gotten home from school he had been sent out to do errands, which was a bit annoying as he really wanted to talk with Yasahiro-san. But seeing as it was a part of his job to do what was requested of him, he couldn't exactly say no. "I'm back," Shitsuo called out as he entered the kitchen, carefully placing the bags down on a table.<p>

Oddly though, no one was in the kitchen, and no one answered him. Shouldn't everyone be preparing for supper right now? Shitsuo wandered out of the kitchen to the adjoining room that was a resting place for the servants before it connected with the dining room. It was dark when he entered the dining room, and just as he reached out to turn on a lamp, the room lit up.

"Surprise! Happy Birthday, Shitsuo!" Shitsuo jumped back slightly, startled as he stared wide-eyed at the entire household gathered around the dining table. He had forgotten that today was his sixteenth birthday. He saw all the servants smiling around the table, and the Master and Madam at their usual places, smiling as well. But what caught Shitsuo's attention the most was Sakuraya sitting in the middle of everyone, an elated expression on his face as he waved excitedly to Shitsuo. This had probably been his idea in the first place.

"Come make a wish and blow out the candles!" Sakuraya beckoned as another servant started to light the candles one by one. Shitsuo was hardly able to get a word out before he was pulled and grabbed by giggling young maids and pushed into the seat Sakuraya got up from. Everyone began to sing the traditional 'Happy Birthday' song, and all Shitsuo could do was sit there awkwardy with a blushing, yet happy, face.

He looked around, seeing everyone smiling happily at him as they sang, and even the Master gave him a nod of acknowledgement. And finally, as the song reached the end, Shitsuo turned to Sakuraya. The young raven had the biggest smile Shitsuo had ever seen on his face, his scarlet eyes twinkling as he motioned with his hands, urging Shitsuo to blow out the candles in his cake. The blonde chuckled, turning towards the cake and appeasing his young master by blowing all of them out, silently making a wish in his head.

"So what'd you wish for, Shitsuo-san?" a maid asked as they began to cut and serve the cake.

Shitsuo opened his mouth to answer, only to be interrupted by Sakuraya, "He can't tell you! If he tells, it won't come true!"

An amused smile curled up on Shitsuo's face as he turned to the maid, "Sorry, Tomiko-san, but he's right. I can't tell a soul." Sakuraya smiled smugly, satisfied that Shitsuo had agreed with him.

Tomiko only rolled her eyes, giggling, "You two are so silly" before she walked away.

"So…" Sakuraya began curiously as he plopped down in a seat next to Shitsuo, "What did you wish for?"

"I thought you said my wish won't come true if I told anyone?" Shitsuo arched a brow in question, his lips curling up on one side to make a crooked smile.

"B-but, I'm special, right?" Sakuraya asked, his eyes widening in slight shock. "You can tell me, can't you?"

"Nope, that defeats the whole purpose of the wish!" Shitsuo laughed at Sakuraya's heartbroken look at not being confided in.

"Humph," Shitsuo mock pouted, though he looked back at Shitsuo from the corners of his eyes to show that he was kidding. Getting over the snub, Sakuraya started to bounce excitedly as he whispered to the blonde, "Shitsuo, can you meet me later tonight at the sakura tree? I want to give you your present."

"Why not just give it to me now?" Shitsuo questioned, only to have Sakuraya shake his head.

"No, I have to give it to you tonight," Sakuraya insisted.

"As you wish, young master," Shitsuo mocked a half bow and chuckled as Sakuraya gave him a playful slap.

"Don't call me that," Sakuraya chided, frowning before he smiled again and ran off to talk with his parents. Shitsuo watched him leave, a happily satisfied expression on his face. He wondered what Sakuraya wanted to give him that required them to go out to the gardens tonight. But he guessed he'd just have to wait and see.

* * *

><p>It took Shitsuo a while to escape from the clutches of the many servants who congratulated him and wished him well. During the chaos, he had managed to finally see Yasahiro and tell the older man that he wanted to talk later. Yasahiro had just nodded and laughed as he waved Shitsuo away, telling him to enjoy himself.<p>

Shitsuo was happy that he ended up in a good household such as this. All the servants here were his family, replacing the one he had never known, and the Master and Madam were good people, treating all of them as if they too were family and not servants. There was no other place Shitsuo could imagine himself to be at. How could he leave this place? He definitely had to turn down the school in England.

Taking in a deep breath of crisp, fresh air, Shitsuo smiled happily as he looked up at the clear night sky, admiring the stars. "Shitsuo, over here!"

The blonde turned towards the direction of the voice, chuckling in amusement as he walked towards the sakura tree in the middle of the garden. There he found Sakuraya standing underneath it, in the exact spot he had found the young boy at seven years ago. "So why did you want me to meet you out here, Sakuraya?"

"You'll see," Sakuraya smiled mischievously as he sat down, patting the spot next to him.

Shitsuo was confused but shrugged and sat next to Sakuraya, following the raven's line of sight and looking up at the sky. "What am I supposed to be looking at?"

"Shh," Sakuraya shushed. Shitsuo arched his brow in question but quieted and turned back at the sky. Nothing happened for a few minutes, but then the sky seemed to brighten as a low hissing sound filled the air. Shitsuo watched in amazement as meteors shot through the sky, making it look like thousands of stars were falling as rays of light appeared and vanished within seconds. It seemed almost surreal and magical, as he had never seen a meteor shower before. And not like this, with the sky clear of clouds and stars twinkling in the background. All too soon did it end, and the night returned to normal.

Shitsuo leaned back against the trunk of the sakura tree, too much in awe to really say anything. Sakuraya was looking at him with a happy smile, seeming to sense that Shitsuo had liked his present.

"That was…amazing," Shitsuo finally breathed out, turning to Sakuraya and giving him a grateful smile. "Thank you for showing me, Sakuraya."

"You're welcome," Sakuraya said a bit smugly, though a slight blush dusted his cheeks. "I made this for you as well."

Shitsuo looked down at Sakuraya's offered hand, seeing a pressed bookmark with sakura blossoms. He took it in his hands, gently rubbing his thumb over the dried and pressed blossoms. "I made it using the blossoms from this tree," Sakuraya told him. "That way it will always remind you of me."

Shitsuo wasn't sure what to say. His throat felt dry as his heart skipped a beat. He felt his whole entire body grow warm all over, and he couldn't help the soft smile that graced his face. He looked at Sakuraya, loving the pink coloring in the boy's cheeks and the sudden shy expression. It made him look…cute. Beautiful even, as moonlight splayed against the boy's pale skin while his dark raven hair contrasted against his. His crimson eyes seemed to shine even brighter in the darkness. Shitsuo then reached out and gently caressed Sakuraya's face, saying, "As if I could I ever forget you."

And without even really thinking, Shitsuo reached down and gently brushed their lips against each other. The contact was only for a few seconds, hardly enough to merit as a real kiss, but Shitsuo felt his entire body tingle all over as all the breath rushed out from his lungs. His face burned with embarrassment—dear god, his mind shouted to himself, Sakuraya was still a child for crying out loud! But the burning desire in his heart didn't abate.

Sakuraya appeared shocked—of course he would be after suddenly kissing him like that!—and embarrassed as his entire face reddened. Shitsuo suddenly felt anxious and guilty; what if Sakuraya didn't like him…well, in_ that_ way?

But before Shitsuo could even reassure him that it was just an innocent kiss, Sakuraya abruptly stood up, stammering, "I-I-I h-have to go!"

"Wait Saku—" But the young raven had already run off, and Shitsuo didn't dare run after him.

Oh god…oh god oh god oh god oh god! What the hell had he done? Why the hell did he do that? Now Sakuraya was going to be afraid of him! Shitsuo scrambled to his feet, running out of the gardens and back to the manor to quickly apologize to the raven. However, he slowed his run as he approached the back door and spotted Yasahiro standing there with a grave look on his face.

"Shitsuo," the older man said.

"Can it wait, Yasahiro? I have to go find Sakura—"

"Young master."

"Huh?" Shitsuo looked at him, confused.

"You are supposed to address him as young master," Yasahiro explained.

Shitsuo looked a bit irritated, "Sakuraya—"

"Young master."

"—doesn't like me calling him that," Shitsuo finished with a scowl.

"It does not matter whether the young master likes it or not," Yasahiro stated matter-of-factly. "He is still the young master and must be addressed as so."

Shitsuo looked at Yasahiro, perplexed, wondering where this sudden lecture had come from. But he just shrugged and moved to enter the manor again, only Yasahiro reached out and stopped him by placing a firm hand on Shitsuo's shoulder.

"Shitsuo," Yasahiro called the young man's attention. "Remember that you are just a servant of this household, while Sakuraya is the young master that will soon take over the Master's title. No matter how much the young master may like you, in the end, your social statuses are different. You two will have to fulfill different duties in the future; you as head butler and Sakuraya as head of this household."

Shitsuo only appeared more confused, unsure of why Yasahiro was telling him this. Unless Yasahiro had seen what had happened under the sakura tree…? Shitsuo's eyes widened as he looked up at Yasahiro's eyes, realizing that the old man did know about his feelings towards Sakuraya. The feelings he wasn't supposed to have.

And suddenly Shitsuo could see what Yasahiro was trying to say to him. Why these feelings were forbidden. Sakuraya was the only son of the household. He would eventually take over the Master's title, and that meant one day he would need a wife by his side. A woman of the same social class who would support him and bear him children. Not a man who was unable to give him anything. Shitsuo wasn't allowed to love Sakuraya at all.

Yasahiro kept his face cool and collected as he continued speaking, "I heard from the principal that a prestigious school in England is offering you a scholarship to study there. I have researched the school, and you can learn many useful things there. I even contacted the school, and they are willing to take you in by the start of next month, granted that you receive your diploma from your current school. But you should have no trouble with that as you have already finished all your lessons, so I think it would only be in your best interest to take up the college's offer, Shitsuo."

His wonderful night was starting to crumble bit by bit as Shitsuo stared at Yasahiro, surprised by Yasahiro suddenly mentioning all of this. Was Yasahiro really telling him to leave? To leave the manor? To leave…Sakuraya? And it only took one look in Yasahiro's eyes for Shitsuo to see the answer: Yes.

Shitsuo had to leave. Before he buried himself even deeper in these feelings. Before he forgot his duty, and his feelings ended up hurting Sakuraya and himself.

As Shitsuo's heart sank, he thought that no matter how many wishes he made, whether on birthday candles or shooting stars, his wish would never come true.

Because he wasn't allowed to have the one thing he wished for the most.

* * *

><p><em><strong>A couple weeks later…<strong>_

Sakuraya was avoiding Shitsuo. He didn't really like it, but he was much too embarrassed to face Shitsuo just yet after that sudden kiss that night…

Sakuraya blushed as he tentatively reached up and touched his lips. He swore sometimes he could still feel Shitsuo's lips against his. Why had Shitsuo done that? What did it mean exactly…?

"Argh," Sakuraya growled in slight frustration, angrily pacing. He was just so confused! He didn't understand why Shitsuo had done that. Was it a joke? Was it as a thank you? Or, perhaps, even just a little bit, Shitsuo actually…liked him? Sakuraya blushed at the thought of that. He didn't really know why, but he knew he had always been attracted to Shitsuo. The older boy just made him feel safe and cared for. But Sakuraya had always thought Shitsuo just treated him the way he did because it was his job as Sakuraya's caretaker. But maybe he had been wrong about that? Maybe Shitsuo did actually…

Sakuraya sighed. There was no point in agonizing over it like this. Perhaps he should just ask the person himself what it meant? Sakuraya brightened up at that idea. It would be a lot better to just ask instead of wondering. And who knows…maybe Shitsuo would give him the answer he wanted.

After all, hadn't Shitsuo been the one to initiate the kiss? That meant he most likely felt the same way Sakuraya did, didn't it? Feeling more confident now, Sakuraya rushed out of his room and headed down to Shitsuo's. He was breathless when he reached the door, an excited smile on his face as he turned the doorknob, "Shitsuo—!"

Sakuraya stopped, dead in his tracks, when he saw how barren the room was. All of Shitsuo's possessions were gone and now all that was left was the furniture. But that wasn't right? Wasn't this Shitsuo's room? He had gone to the right room, hadn't he? Sakuraya looked back out at the hall, confirming he was indeed at the right room. "Shitsuo?" he called out questionably in the empty room, his voice slightly echoing.

Maybe Shitsuo was playing a prank on him and was hiding? "Shitsuo?" he called out again, but there was no answer. "Shitsuo!"

"Do you need something, young master?"

Sakuraya gasped in surprised, startled by Yasahiro's sudden appearance. The young raven smiled nervously at the older man, "Yasahiro-san, um, I was just wondering…where's Shitsuo?"

The man's eyes briefly flickered with recognition before his face became impassive once again, betraying nothing as he spoke, "Shitsuo has left for England."

Sakuraya wanted to laugh and ask if that was a joke, but the sound was caught in his throat. His face was stuck in the half sheepish and half stunned expression as he looked at Yasahiro with questioning eyes. Licking his lips to wet his suddenly dry lips, Sakuraya questioned, "England?"

"Yes," Yasahiro confirmed. "He was offered a scholarship from a prestigious school there and decided to go and get his college degree. He will be there for the next four years, possibly more if he so wishes."

"B-but…" Sakuraya started slowly, his mind still trying to comprehend to what Yasahiro said. "I-I didn't hear anything about this…?"

"Perhaps, young master, Shitsuo merely thought it was not important to tell you?"

"B-but he—" Sakuraya could hardly finish his sentence, thoughts spinning wildly in his mind. Not important? This was important! Shitsuo was gone! He hadn't even said goodbye to him! Sakuraya suddenly collapsed to his knees, Yasahiro's stoic expression falling as he called out worriedly, "Young master?"

Gone…Shitsuo was gone. He wasn't even in Japan anymore. He was in a whole other country. But why…? Why had he left without even saying anything to Sakuraya? Why hadn't Sakuraya known anything?

_Perhaps Shitsuo merely thought it was not important to tell you?_

Did that mean he wasn't important? Did that mean he was wrong? Did Shitsuo leave because he regretted what he did? _No_, Sakuraya thought as he shook his head. He had to be over thinking this. Besides, didn't Yasahiro say that Shitsuo had gone to England to study? Who was he to deny Shitsuo if the blonde wanted to further his studies? And he was only going to be gone for as long as it took him to complete his degree, wasn't he? So he would return eventually.

But even the thought of that didn't make the sharp ache in Sakuraya's chest go away. No matter how much he tried to reassure himself that everything was okay, and Shitsuo's leave was temporary, Sakuraya couldn't help but wonder…

Why had Shitsuo left without a word?

* * *

><p><strong>Again, I'm sorry this took me a while to update guys. :( But I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Got to see more of Shitsuo and Sakuraya here, and wow, it got really dramatic near the end. And the drama doesn't end there guys. Oh, and next chapter there will be a major time jump as well.<strong>

**Please don't hate Yasahiro because of this chapter, he's actually a nice guy, he's just doing his job. D: It pains me that I kind of made him the bad guy in this chapter. **

**In other news, just wanted to let you guys know I've been finalizing the plots and writing up The Little Things You Didn't Notice. :D Going off which stories you liked the most here, I think I have an idea of what side couple's story you all might like the most. Overall TLTYDN is a bit more…raunchy than ALTCL, mostly because all of the side couples I'm writing about aren't the innocent-type couples like some of the Shizaya alternates were in this story. Just a heads up for you all. ^^**

**Thank you for reading and reviewing everyone! And for all of your encouragement as well! You guys seriously make my day. :D**

**-Xaleria**


	24. Shitsuo & Sakuraya 2

**Hey there guys! You're in for a very special treat this chapter. :3 Because it has a lot of Shitsuo-in-London-goodness (oh, and drama, lots of it)! And imagining Shitsuo in England dressed super fancy (top hat and cane included) with a British accent just had me squealing this entire chapter. OwO *loves accents and fancy suits* **

**This is un-betaed so I apologize if you guys see any typos. If you spot any major mistakes, please go ahead and point them out to me so I can fix them. **

**WARNING:** This story is rated M so there will be just a tiny bit of lemon implications in this chapter. You have been forewarned.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters. I do have some OC characters in this story though and I own every one of them!**

* * *

><p><strong>Shitsuo &amp; Sakuraya<strong>

_**Eleven years later, London, England**_

"Shitsuo!" A lazy, amused grin spread across the said man's face as he looked at his best friend from his college days. An auburn haired young man threw an arm around Shitsuo's neck, laughing gleefully, "You sly dog, you told me you couldn't come tonight!"

"Well, I decided that maybe a night off wouldn't be so bad after all," Shitsuo chuckled as he took off his hat and ran his fingers through his blonde hair. It had been eleven years since Shitsuo had come to England as a heartbroken sixteen-year-old that felt like the world was collapsing underneath him. Things had changed, he had changed. At twenty-seven years now, Shitsuo had grown into a fine young man with taut, lean muscles, still somewhat messy blonde hair, and wiser honey colored eyes. Sometimes people could hardly believe he was Japanese, as he fit right in with the English. Decked out in the latest London fashion, Shitsuo handed his hat and coat to a young worker in the bar to hang up, slipping him a nice little tip with it. Although Shitsuo had climbed up the social ladder in recent years, he had not forgotten where he came from.

Shitsuo felt his mouth tighten in a slight frown as he recalled his origins. Since ever he left, Shitsuo had never returned to Japan. He didn't want to see the boy he had left behind there. It would only have made it harder to leave again, so Shitsuo had avoided returning at all. But that was in the past. He didn't have to return there even if he wanted to. The Master had sent him a letter a few years ago, saying that if Shitsuo wished to stay in England and continue his studies he could. And Shitsuo had a comfortable lifestyle now. Having graduated top of his class with a Masters degree in Business Management after six years in school, Shitsuo was immediately offered a job at a top company in London. Shitsuo took the offer and quickly climbed up the ranks thanks to his superior skills. Shitsuo's boss liked him so much that he even spoke of letting Shitsuo take over someday. And the blonde had lots of girls lining up to be the lucky girl to marry him. Some of those women were even of a higher class than him, and he had no doubt he could obtain a title by taking one of them as his wife. But he didn't really have the heart to court any of those women. He knew he wasn't interested in any of them.

"Look who decided to come after all, everyone!" his best friend, Mathew, called out to a group of men sitting on plush couches around a table laden with drinks and ash trays. The sound of Mathew's voice broke Shitsuo away from his thoughts as he looked at his group of friends.

"Good to see you, Shitsuo!" some of the men greeted with wide smiles as they stood up to clap the blonde on the back. Soon Shitsuo found himself sitting with a glass of booze in his hands and a cigarette in his mouth. He laughed and joked with his friends as usual, relaxing as thoughts of his past faded to the back of his mind.

"By the way, Shitsuo," Mathew called the blonde's attention. "When do you finally plan on getting a girl of your own?"

Shitsuo was silent, feeling the entire group's eyes on him for an answer. He knew they sometimes wondered why he politely turned away all girls, only choosing to be intimate with a select few who were only looking for a bit of fun, nothing serious. And whenever they did want to become serious, Shitsuo cleanly cut off ties with them. He knew a girl looking for something more than tumble was trouble. It was fine to be like that when he was younger, but now that he was getting older and most of his friends were beginning to either get serious with their girls or even getting married, it was strange that Shitsuo remained a bachelor.

Shitsuo tried to be casual, shrugging and taking a drag of his cigarette. "Guess I just haven't found the one yet."

"Have you even tried looking?" another guy questioned jokingly. "Girls practically throw themselves at your feet but you hardly even bat an eye at them, lucky bastard."

Shitsuo chuckled humorously, shaking his head and smoothly changing the subject away from his relationship status. He hadn't dare tell any of his friends, even Mathew, that girls weren't exactly his type, and the only reason he even bothered sleeping with any woman was to keep up a charade. After all, gays weren't exactly smiled upon in society.

"I got it!" Mathew suddenly declared later in the night, his face a bit pink with drunkenness as he threw his arm over Shitsuo's neck. "You're just shy, right? That's why you turn girls away."

"Sure, let's go with that, Mathew," Shitsuo said as he smiled amusedly at his friend's antics as Mathew blabbed on and on about helping Shitsuo overcome his shyness with girls and hooking him up with a woman.

"I swear I will, Shitsuo!" Mathew said with flourish as he stood up, throwing his arms about. "I will find you a beautiful dame that you'll jus—ack!" The men laughed as Mathew tumbled over his feet and fell, spilling his drink as well.

"Alright, I get it you damn drunkard!" Shitsuo laughed as he reached out to help Mathew up. A worker boy quickly came over to clean the spilt drink. "Sorry about my friend here," Shitsuo apologized to the boy as he watched the boy work. "I think it's about time we went home, would you please get our coats for us?"

"Yes, sir." The boy turned to face Shitsuo and quickly nodded his head in confirmation with a slight pink coloring in his cheeks before he finished cleaning and ran off to get the coats. Shitsuo blinked in surprise, wondering if what he saw was real. He could have sworn that boy looked a lot like Sakuraya.

Soon the boy came back with the coats in his hand, and Shitsuo finally got a good look at him. While he didn't exactly look completely the same to Sakuraya, he was pretty darn close. The boy had soft, wispy black hair, a childish, round face, and overall air of innocence about him. Shitsuo placed his age around 18 or 19, the same age Sakuraya would be. The only thing that was really different between the two of them was the boy's deep, sea blue eyes, which weren't a bad color. As Shitsuo let the drunk Mathew bid goodbye to everyone, Shitsuo grabbed the boy's hand before he could escape.

"Do you need anything else, sir?" the boy asked as he looked at Shitsuo curiously and with a pink flush on his face. Hmm, he was kind of cute blushing like that.

"Your name would be nice," Shitsuo gave the boy a charming smile, liking how the red coloring on the boy's face deepened. It was almost like seeing Sakuraya once again.

"It's Michael, sir," the boy replied quietly, nervously glancing down at his feet. "Michael Williams."

"Michael, eh?" Shitsuo shuffled around in his pockets and pulled out a business card, placing it in the boy's hand and making it curl around the piece of paper. He winked at the blushing boy, "Why don't you give me a call sometime, Michael?"

"Y-Y-yes, sir!" the boy squeaked out, blushing even more profusely as he dashed away.

That was an unusual thing for Shitsuo to do as he usually tried to keep any relationships with men to a minimum to stay hidden from the public eye. But the similarity of that boy to Sakuraya…it was hard to ignore. As Shitsuo went back to get Mathew and call a cab, he wondered if that boy would contact him. He hoped he would.

* * *

><p><em><strong>A few months later, London, England<strong>_

The sound of Big Ben ringing in the distance is what woke Shitsuo up. He groaned, stretching out and sighing in relief as his muscles relaxed. Throwing the covers off himself and getting up, Shitsuo reached for the window curtains and pulled them open. London was already bustling with activity as people walked about, trolleys rode throughout the street, and shops opened their doors to greet their morning customers. London really was a beautiful city in some ways, but sometimes his heart still ached for his homeland of Japan.

"Shitsuo?" a sleepy voice murmured from the bed.

Shitsuo felt his mouth twitch into a small smile as he turned to look at the bed where his lover lay. The young raven-haired boy rubbed the sleepiness away from his sea blue eyes as he returned Shitsuo's smile. "Good morning, Michael," Shitsuo greeted as he reached over and kissed the boy's lips softly.

"Morning," the boy greeted back as he threw his arms over Shitsuo's neck, crawling into the man's lap as Shitsuo sat back on the bad. "Now that I'm more awake, give me a real good morning kiss."

Shitsuo chuckled, appeasing his young lover by leaning downward and kissing him once again. This kiss was rougher as Michael moaned happily against their lips, obligingly opening his mouth and allowing Shitsuo to enter, tasting the young boy. Shitsuo then smiled with amusement as he felt Michael impatiently tug on the waistband of his pajama pants.

"Now when did you get to be so impatient and greedy?" Shitsuo asked huskily when he pulled away from their kiss, Michael gasping for breath.

"When you made me this way," Michael countered with a sly smile and lustful look in his eyes.

"Did I now?" Shitsuo questioned with an arched brow and a teasing smile on his face.

"Oh yes," Michael went on with their act, smiling as his hands mischievously played over the contours of Shitsuo's abs before moving lower. "I used to be just an innocent little boy until you walked into my life and corrupted me, so now you have to take responsibility."

"Hmm, I guess I can do that," Shitsuo pretended to think about it before flipping them both over so that he was on top, Michael squealing in surprise. Shitsuo hungrily placed his lips on Michael's again, coaxing the young man to open up to him. The shirt—actually his shirt—that Michael wore was soon discarded along with his own pajama pants. Shitsuo didn't even need to tell the boy anything, Michael already spreading his legs apart, inviting Shitsuo to join them together. Soon the young ravenwas moaning and sighing sweetly as Shitsuo pleasured him. Their skin felt hot against each other as they connected over and over, their groans melding together as they both peaked and then released. They collapsed on the bed, panting and sated as Michael snuggled up against Shitsuo's chest.

The blonde absentmindedly ran his fingers through the young boy's hair, remembering when he used to do this to Sakuraya as a show of affection. Shitsuo felt his body tense slightly at the thought of Sakuraya. He should be content right now. He had everything he could ever want. A good job, his own place, a cute lover that he felt strongly for. But Shitsuo still felt empty. And Shitsuo wondered if he'd ever be able to fill that emptiness.

* * *

><p>Michael hummed to himself as he cleaned up one of the extra rooms Shitsuo had where he stored a bunch of boxes. As the boy backed up, he bumped into a box and swore when it fell, a bunch of envelopes and some other things spilling out.<p>

Sighing, Michael bent down and began to gather them up. But he stopped and his brow furrowed in confusion as he noticed all the envelopes were unopened. Some of them had some writing he didn't recognize—Japanese he guessed knowing that Shitsuo was from Japan—and some of them had English writing. The ones that were in English, Michael noted that they had the same name and return address on them. _Who's Sakuraya?_ Michael thought curiously. He had never heard Shitsuo mention this person before. Perhaps it was someone from his family back in Japan?

Michael gathered up more of the letters and then found a bunch of photos at the bottom of the pile. He stared with wide eyes as he picked one of them up. In it was Shitsuo, obviously younger, and beside him was a young boy who looked a lot like himself. Michael flipped the photo around, seeing more Japanese written on the back. He wondered if that boy was Sakuraya. Was he Shitsuo's younger brother?

Michael figured he'd ask Shitsuo about it later, and why he hadn't opened any of the letters. After picking up the photos, Michael noticed a pressed bookmark on the floor. It was pretty with small pink blossoms standing out against a tan paper background. He wondered why Shitsuo didn't use it before placing it with the letters in his arms. Finally Michael reached down for the last letter but swore once again when it got snagged on a loose splinter in the floorboards and the envelope ripped opened, folded papers falling out. Michael put the rest of the letters in the box and reached for the papers, moving to put them back in the envelope before he paused.

Curiosity getting the better of him—as he wondered why Shitsuo hadn't read any of the letters—Michael began to read it. It was a simple letter talking about how things were going at the manor, Michael guessing this Sakuraya person was just updating Shitsuo on everything. Just as he was beginning to get bored and was about to put the letter back, a word stuck out to Michael.

…_kiss…_

_Why would his brother be talking about kisses? _Michael wondered as he read on.

_I wonder if you regret that kiss. I wonder if you're afraid to know what I think about it. Is that why you won't answer any of my letters, Shitsuo? Are you trying to run away from what happened between us? But you haven't even listened to what I think. _

_I didn't hate that kiss you gave me. In fact, I felt quite the opposite. I liked it. I liked it a lot. _

_Because I love you, Shitsuo. _

The paper shook with Michael's hands as he stared at that last sentence. He was just over thinking it, wasn't he? That sentence didn't mean what he thought it meant, did it? They loved each other like brothers right? But brothers didn't kiss each other, did they? Was that normal in Japan? Somehow, Michael suspected it wasn't. Japanese were known for being more conservative than the English.

So what did it mean? Why did Shitsuo kiss this Sakuraya person? What kind of kiss was it—though Michael could guess by the sound of the letter it wasn't just any innocent kiss. Did that mean Shitsuo loved Sakuraya? Did Shitsuo _still _love Sakuraya? Why was Shitsuo going out with him then?

Michael thought back to the letter. _Are you trying to run away from what happened between us?_

Is that why Shitsuo was in London? To get away from this Sakuraya? But why? What had exactly happened?

So many questions swirled around in Michael's head, but there was one question that Michael desperately wanted the answer to.

How did Shitsuo feel now?

The idea that Shitsuo may not really love him made Michael sick to his stomach. He hastily stuck the letter back in the envelope and then put the envelope back in the box, shoving the box far in the back of the room. He didn't want to think about that possibility at all. There was no way that Shitsuo didn't love him! Shitsuo was the one who approached him after all, wasn't he? But the picture Michael had seen popped into his head, and he recalled how much he and the boy in it had looked alike.

Michael stopped. Was that the reason? Was that why Shitsuo had picked him? Because they looked so much alike? Was Michael just a substitute for this Sakuraya? The thought of that made Michael's body feel cold all over.

Scrambling to his feet, Michael took one last look at the box, doubts still floating around in his mind. Why should he be so worried? Wasn't he the one Shitsuo had picked in the end? That meant Shitsuo liked him more, didn't it?

_But why did he keep all these letters? Why didn't he just throw them away?_ Michael wondered. Was it actually possible that in some way, Shitsuo was still attached to the boy called Sakuraya?

No! Michael shook his head furiously, placing his arms over it as if that would block out such thoughts. He didn't want to think such things! Shitsuo loved him! Just him! Michael quickly ran out the room and shut the door. He ran to the nearest bathroom, feeling his stomach churn uneasily. Michael coughed as he spat in the sink, his hands shaking as they turned on the cool water and he splashed his face. He looked up at his reflection in the mirror then and froze as he swore he saw a different pair of eyes staring back at him. A pair of scarlet, taunting eyes.

A crazed laugh bubbled out of Michael's mouth as he backed away from the mirror, those eyes staring at him as a cruel smile curled up on perfect, pink lips. "You don't mean anything!" Michael stated more to reassure himself than to defy the reflection. The reflection only tilted its head curiously, its eyes seeming to dare Michael. The boy could feel the anger and hysteria building up within him as he shouted more anxiously, "I'm the one Shitsuo chose! I'm the one he loves! You're just the one he left behind!"

But the reflection only smiled, as if it were saying, "_But I'll always be the one he loved first, and you will just be my substitute_. _The boy who looked like me._"

Outraged, Michael screamed and ran forward, pounding his fists against the mirror, effectively shattering it. Glass pieces cut into the boy's skin, blood dripping onto the tiled floor. Michael laughed hysterically, sliding down to the ground as he leaned against a wall in the bathroom. But still, even in the shattered pieces of the mirror, those eyes stared at him. Michael was panicking, placing his bleeding arms around his head as he said to himself, "I'm not a substitute, I'm not a substitute!"

And that's where Michael stayed, rocking slightly as he repeated over and over "I'm not a substitute" as those haunting, scarlet eyes stared at him.

* * *

><p>"Michael?" Shitsuo called out when he arrived home. Usually the eager, young boy was there to greet him at the door, but he was absent from his post today. "I'm home."<p>

Shitsuo hung up his hat and shrugged out of his coat, looking around for his raven-haired lover. But he didn't appear. Shitsuo started to grow a bit worried, and after he hung up his coat he went off to explore the apartment for his lover. "Michael? Where are you?"

Shitsuo heard some muttering noise coming from the downstairs bathroom and cautiously approached the door. "Michael, is that you?" The sound was getting louder now and carefully, Shitsuo pushed open the door only to gasp with shock at he saw what was inside.

"Michael!" Shitsuo quickly got down on his knees as he reached out for the young, bleeding boy. "What happened?"

"Shitsuo!" Michael seemed to snap out of his daze, and he smiled widely as he hugged the blonde tightly. "I knew you'd come for me! Please, tell that boy that I'm the one you love and not him. Please tell him!"

"What are you talking about? Michael, how long have you been bleeding?" Shitsuo's eyes widened at the sight of Michael's cuts as he carefully picked up the boy, being mindful of the glass around them.

"Tell him!" Michael demanded as he struggled against Shitsuo. "Tell him that you love me!"

"Michael, hold still! I don't know what the hell you're talking about!"

"Tell him! Tell him!" Michael's thrashing increased as he began to kick and swing his arms. "Tell him!"

"Michael would you stop that! Tell who? Tell what? You're not making any sense!" Shitsuo told him as he tried to hold down Michael's arms to stop him from swinging them about. It would only worsen his cuts.

"Tell that boy that you love me and not him! Tell him I'm not his substitute!" Michael explained as he gripped Shitsuo's shirt, staring at the blonde with pleading eyes. "He keeps staring at me with those taunting, red eyes of his! Tell him he's wrong!"

Shitsuo froze when he heard Michael say "red eyes", only knowing one person with red eyes. "Michael," Shitsuo tried to keep his voice calm as he gently held the boy's arms. "Who are you talking about?"

"That boy," Michael hissed. "The one whose letters you keep. That boy who looks so much like me."

Shitsuo felt his heart skip a beat as Michael suddenly became dejected, looking up at Shitsuo with sad eyes. "I'm not his substitute, am I, Shitsuo? The one you love is me, isn't it?"

But Shitsuo didn't know how to answer, and Michael's expression changed to one of panic and sad rage as he tugged on Shitsuo's shirt. "Why aren't you answering me? Shitsuo, answer me!"

"I-I think," Shitsuo started as he snapped out of his stupor and began to push Michael's hands away. "We should talk about this later, Michael. Let's treat your cuts first. I think you might need stitches for some of these."

"Why won't you answer me?" Michael ignored Shitsuo's statement, staring at the blonde anxiously. "Shitsuo!"

"Later, Michael," Shitsuo's tone was more firm and warning this time. "Right now we need to get you to a hospital."

The raven-haired boy could only stare at Shitsuo incredulously as the blonde swept him up, left the apartment and quickly hailed a cab to take them to the hospital.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Over a week later…<strong>_

"How is he?" Shitsuo asked the doctor as they both carefully looked at Michael from the corners of their eyes. The boy was sitting up in the hospital bed, staring out a window nearby with a blank expression.

"To be honest? Not good," the doctor sighed tiredly. "He refuses to talk to any of us, and he won't eat anything we offer. He pulled out his stitches once and tried to do it again. He depressed and possibly suicidal."

Shitsuo could feel guilt pierce at his conscience as his eyes flickered back to Michael. "Isn't there anything you can do?"

"Lock him up in our psych ward," the doctor suggested, earning a cold look from Shitsuo. "I'm sorry, sir, but there's just nothing we can do for him at the moment. He has to get past this himself."

Shitsuo sighed in defeat, thanking the doctor and then cautiously walking up beside Michael's bed. "Michael?"

The boy turned to face Shitsuo, hurt flickering in his blue eyes for a moment before they turned blank again. "Michael," Shitsuo repeated as he took a seat next to the bed. "I'm sorry."

There was an awkward pause before Shitsuo continued, "I'm sorry, but I don't love you. I wish I did," Shitsuo quickly clarified when he saw how much questioning and hurt was forming in Michael's eyes. "I truly do wish I could love you, but…" Shitsuo sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "There's someone in Japan that I just can't forget."

Michael didn't respond, looking down at his hands that were clenched together. "That doesn't mean I don't care about you," Shitsuo further explained as he reached out and gently placed a hand atop of Michael's, feeling the boy tense before slightly relaxing. "I do care about you a lot, and I'm sorry that I hurt you like this. It was wrong of me to hold you close with such half-hearted feelings. But please, don't become like this because of me. You deserve more than this. You deserve to be happy."

Shitsuo took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself and the stirring emotions within him, "So please, get better, alright?"

Another silence fell between them and Shitsuo smiled bitterly. He wondered if Michael would actually listen to his words, and if the boy was mad at him. He had every right to be. "Well, I have to go now…Goodbye, Michael."

Just as Shitsuo moved to get up, Michael reached out and stopped him. The blonde turned to look at the raven-haired boy, anticipating his next action and surprised. Michael seemed hesitant at first, his face slightly red in both embarrassment and a bit of anger as he stared at the ground. But then he spoke softly, "I loved you."

Shitsuo felt a guilty tug on his heart as Michael now turned up to look at him, his eyes sad yet determined, "I loved you so much, and I wish that you loved me too. B-but…I'm actually sort of…glad you were honest with me. I—" Michael swallowed nervously. "I-I believe it would not have done either of us any good if we had continued this way."

"Yes, it wouldn't have," Shitsuo agreed, feeling relief as a small smile broke out across Michael's face in response. Shitsuo leaned down, giving Michael one last sweet kiss on the forehead, whispering to the boy, "I hope you find someone who can give you the happiness I wasn't able to."

"Thank you," Michael murmured. "I hope you find someone too."

Shitsuo politely smiled, though he knew in the back of his mind that he wouldn't be able to have the one person who gave him happiness. Shitsuo then left the hospital, and Michael watched the blonde walk away from the building through the window next to his bed.

"Um, are you alright?" Michael looked up, seeing a nurse standing at the foot of his bed with a sympathetic look. "You're crying."

Michael hadn't even realized there were tears streaming down his cheeks as he gingerly reached up and touched them. He felt the wet, hot streaks and something between a laugh and a sob escaped his mouth. But soon he was sobbing uncontrollably as he tried so hard to wipe the tears away from his face. The nurse panicked, rushing to soothe and comfort him, but Michael just kept crying.

After all, broken hearts couldn't heal in a day.

* * *

><p><em><strong>That night…<strong>_

Shitsuo sat in the chair with his arm propped up and his hand placed against his forehead so that his fingers could shield his face. His other hand held a glass of scotch whiskey. He downed the entire glass, feeling the alcohol burn his throat. He moved to pour himself another glass before deciding to screw it all and started to drink straight from the bottle.

As he drank, his eyes trailed off to an open letter on the table. He hadn't told Michael that he had received a letter from Japan that day, and that there was a reason Shitsuo had said goodbye to him. Because he wasn't going to be staying in London anymore. Shitsuo frowned as he thought about the contents of the letter. It was from Tomiko, one of the maids in the manor back in Japan. Turns out she had been promoted to head housekeeper, and she had written Shitsuo with a bit of urgency.

_Yasahiro-san is gravely ill. He wants you to return to Japan as soon as possible and inherit his title as head butler. Please come soon, Shitsuo. I'm not sure of how much time Yasahiro-san has left. You're the only one we can give the job to._

Shitsuo let out a bitter, hollow laugh. What had been the point of coming to England then if Yasahiro wanted him to return now? Sakuraya would still be there, and Shitsuo would still yearn for him. Was Yasahiro hoping that his feelings had changed after eleven years? How wrong the old man was. If anything, they had only gotten stronger.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder after all.

Shitsuo took another swig of his scotch. He wondered what Sakuraya looked like now. Was he still the same boy Shitsuo remembered? Had Sakuraya changed at all? Did he even remember who Shitsuo was? Did he remember that they…kissed?

Shitsuo laughed again, shaking his head. Why was he thinking such things? They didn't matter. Even though eleven years had passed by, nothing had changed.

Shitsuo was still a servant. Sakuraya was still his master. And there was no way the two of them could ever be together.

_Oh, Michael_, Shitsuo wistfully thought._ If only you knew how much I wish I could have loved you instead. _

Shitsuo took another swig, finishing the entire bottle. He then glared at the empty bottle, growling before he angrily threw it at the wall. The glass shattered and fell to the ground, and Shitsuo leaned forward in his seat, laughing miserably. _How much easier things would have been had I just loved you instead of him._

* * *

><p><strong>I'm sorry for all the random rhyming lines in the chapter. After watching The Lorax (which I think is the cutest movie I've seen in a while), I've just been in a rhyming mood. XD<strong>

**Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Bet nobody was expecting me to make Shitsuo stay away from Sakuraya that long, huh? But no worries, our two lovebirds will be reunited soon~ There was lots of Shitsuo and his angsty, bad boy, well dressed self in this chap. Gosh, I wish I was better at drawing so I could draw how I imagined Shitsuo in high-end 1920s London fashion. How hot they would have been…OwO Btw, if anyone is confused about the timeline I imagine it like this: **The story starts in 1912 (when Shitsuo is 8 and finds baby Sakuraya), 7 years later (1919) is when Shitsuo leaves, and then now presently is 11 years later (1930). **No worries though everyone! There's no more crazy big time jumps after this. Next chapter we're back to Japan~**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing everyone!**

**-Xaleria**


	25. Shitsuo & Sakuraya 3

**Sorry for the wait guys, but here's the next chapter! :) We're steadily making our way to the climax…so enjoy everyone~!**

**This is un-betaed so I apologize if you guys see any typos. If you spot any major mistakes, please go ahead and point them out to me so I can fix them. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters. I do have some OC characters in this story though and I own every one of them!**

* * *

><p><strong>Shitsuo &amp; Sakuraya<strong>

_**Tokyo, Japan**_

All was quiet in the manor as the workers inside had a brief moment of silence for the loss of their beloved comrade. Everyone paid their respects, bowing their heads in prayer with the altar in front of them, a black and white framed photo sitting atop. Tears silently streamed down some faces while others were only distorted in grief and shock. While it was common knowledge that the man had been sick, no one had really expected the death of the head butler to happen so suddenly.

At the front of the grieving crowd was a solemn boy, although hardly anyone could call him a 'boy' anymore. Just past the brink of adulthood at the age of eighteen, Sakuraya had grown to be a beautiful young man with wispy, dark tresses, enchanting crimson eyes, and a fair complexion that was every lady's envy. Everyone within the household would agree that their young master was indeed a rare beauty who could make just about anybody fall for him with just a shy glance from underneath those long lashes.

But today, instead of the lively sparkle that was always present in their young master's eyes, there was sadness and pain. Sakuraya's eyes had been rubbed until they were raw and redder than usual, and everyone could tell that he had been crying. After all, Yasahiro had been the closest to him after Shitsuo had left for England.

"Young master?" a voice called out, interrupting the silence. Sakuraya turned, trying his best not to show a sour expression as he faced Katsutoshi. The thirty-five year old grey-eyed brunette had been hired to be his caretaker—Shitsuo's old job—a few years ago when it was evident that Shitsuo wouldn't return soon, and Sakuraya had never liked him. Katsutoshi was strict, forcing Sakuraya to follow the "etiquette for a man of his status" that the raven had never really felt comfortable doing. Katsutoshi was nothing like Shitsuo had been.

Suddenly Sakuraya felt even more saddened as he thought about the blonde he missed dearly. Had it really been so long since they had last seen each other? Was Shitsuo really never going to return? By the way Shitsuo was staying away from Japan that seemed to be the case. Sakuraya clenched his chest as it twisted in pain.

"Young master," Katsutoshi called his attention again, and Sakuraya wished that just for once the man would shut up. "I believe it should be time for everyone to get back to work."

Sakuraya didn't bother to hide his disgust this time as he opened his mouth, ready to chastise Katsutoshi on being disrespectful to Yasahiro. But the sound of the double doors of the room opening stopped him, and everyone in the room turned their attention to the person who just entered. Everything was still, and for a moment, Sakuraya thought he was hallucinating. But then the murmurs of surprise and greetings that began to fill the room around him convinced him that he wasn't.

"Shitsuo, you're back!" someone shouted out.

His heart raced in his chest and feelings of surprise, happiness, and relief suddenly flooded through him. Sakuraya couldn't help the tiny smile that began to form on his face as he laid his eyes on the blonde that steadily made his way to the front, nodding his head in greeting to others. His mind wasn't tricking him; it really was Shitsuo! Sakuraya wanted to run across the room and throw himself into Shitsuo's arms, but the fact that he was standing between people and it would have been more of a hassle to move kept him standing still, just following Shitsuo with his eyes. When Shitsuo finally reached the front of the room, their eyes met. Honey and crimson clashed as they stared at each other for a moment, and Sakuraya wondered why there was a cold and guarded look in Shitsuo's eyes. It made chills run down the raven's back. But Sakuraya opened his mouth, wanting to speak, wanting to ask all these questions.

What had Shitsuo been doing for the past eleven years? Had Shitsuo missed him at all? Did Shitsuo still remember him? Did he still remember what had happened between them? Would they be able to finally talk about that? Why hadn't Shitsuo answered any of his letters? What did Shitsuo think of him now? What did that kiss from so many years ago mean? Did Shitsuo still feel the same way?

But Sakuraya didn't get the chance to ask any of these questions as Shitsuo suddenly turned away from him. Feeling a bit hurt and shocked at the subtle snub, Sakuraya watched as Shitsuo approached the altar, bowing slightly as he clapped his hands together in prayer.

"Sorry I didn't make it back in time, Yasahiro-san," Shitsuo said softly, a look of grief entering the blonde's face as he looked at the picture of the man that had been his father for as long as he could remember. "May you rest in peace."

A feeling of guilt wrenched in Sakuraya's chest as his sudden elation fell. He couldn't believe how selfish he was being. Here he was, wanting to have all of Shitsuo's attention now that the man was back when Shitsuo had barely just discovered that the only man who was his family was now gone. Eleven years had passed, and Sakuraya hadn't matured at all. He was still the selfish little brat that Shitsuo disliked the most.

Feeling embarrassed, Sakuraya looked down at the ground, trying to school his face to be impassive as he clenched his hands tightly. He had thought that by the time Shitsuo returned, he would have changed for the better. That he would have become a man that Shitsuo would be proud of. It seemed he still had a long way to go.

"Now now," a voice then bellowed in the dead silent room, seeming to break everyone out of a trance as they all turned towards the doorway again. This time the Master stood there, a warm, reassuring smile on his face as he spoke, "I'm sure that Yasahiro-san wouldn't have wanted us all moping around all day, so please everyone, laugh for him."

Some people among the crowd chuckled politely, knowing that what the Master said was true. Yasahiro was a man who hadn't liked whiners and preferred for people to be happy. The Master nodded his head with satisfaction, glad that had cheered up some. "Now I would like to ask everyone to prepare for a feast tonight to honor Yasahiro-san and to also celebrate the return of his prodigal son, Shitsuo, who will be taking over as head butler."

Hearing that declaration, everyone cheered in happiness and quickly went to congratulate Shitsuo, who thanked them all as he smiled brightly. During the entire change of atmosphere, all Sakuraya could do was look at Shitsuo with yearning and anxiety as they seemed to drift further and further away from each other. Head butler? So that meant Shitsuo wasn't returning to his side then? But this wasn't entirely a bad thing, was it? At least if Shitsuo was head butler that meant Shitsuo was staying here, didn't it? Wasn't that something Sakuraya should be happy about? And when Sakuraya took over for his father, Shitsuo would work for him again wouldn't he?

But as Sakuraya watched Shitsuo interact with everyone else, the raven felt sad. He felt like he didn't know this man. This man didn't seem like the kind, loving Shitsuo he remembered. And for a brief moment, through the crowd of people, their eyes met again, and Sakuraya saw the same guarded and cold look as he had seen before. And this time there was even a bit of lonely darkness in it. It made Sakuraya's heart sink.

Who was this new man? And where had the Shitsuo he had known gone to?

* * *

><p>"Goodnight Shitsuo, it's good to have you back." The blonde thanked the speaker then bid them goodnight as well before he shut the door to his room closed.<p>

Shitsuo sighed tiredly, leaning against the door for a moment to rest. He then looked around his old room, seeing the bags of his belongings the maids had brought in stacked neatly in a corner. The rest of the room looked just as he left it, and he nostalgically ran his fingers against the aged furniture that had been well kept. Of course, the Master had offered Shitsuo to take Yasahiro's old room now that he had been promoted, but Shitsuo had refused. He didn't like the idea of being inside that room. It would only remind of the fact that his only family was now gone.

_That's not true,_ a voice protested in his head. _You still have Sakuraya, don't you?_

_No, I don't. He's not mine, and he never will be_, Shitsuo reminded himself, frowning as he made his way to the bathroom to clean up for the night as the raven he had been avoiding for the past eleven years invaded his thoughts.

It had been harder than he thought it would be, seeing Sakuraya again. Shitsuo splashed water in his face then let out a shuddering breath. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and frowned. How could one child make him feel so vulnerable? It had taken all of his willpower to not sweep Sakuraya into his arms and kiss the boy again when Shitsuo had laid his eyes on the raven earlier.

Shouldn't it be unnatural for a boy to look so tantalizing? How could a boy have skin so fair and soft that it invited one to touch it, dark hair that fingers could easily tangle themselves in, scarlet eyes that entranced, and plump, pink lips that called for kisses. Shitsuo groaned as he felt his body heat up, reacting to just the thought of the raven. He splashed his face with cold water again, attempting to cool himself down. But it didn't do much. Perhaps a cold shower would be more effective. Shitsuo moved back into his room, unbuttoning his shirt and casting it aside afterwards. Just as he moved to undo his pants, there was a small knock on his door.

Shitsuo looked at the door curiously, wondering who would be bothering him at this hour. Everyone had retired after the feast, worn out from all the activity of the day. Another knock sounded before Shitsuo moved to open the door, but as soon as he opened it he wished he had pretended to be asleep and not answered.

Standing in the doorway was a shyly blushing Sakuraya, the soft light from Shitsuo's room spilling out into the hallway and illuminating his face in an almost angelic way. Shitsuo cursed inwardly, wondering what god was screwing with him by sending him such a temptation at night. However, after years of learning how to hide his true feelings in England, Shitsuo was quite a master at masking his emotions and gave Sakuraya—what he hoped was—an emotionless expression. "Isn't it a bit late to be out of bed, young master?"

Shitsuo watched as Sakuraya flinched at the way he had called him. He knew that the raven disliked being called that, so he had done it on purpose. There was no point in pretending that they could go back to the way they were before. Shitsuo had to maintain a strict line between them that he could not cross. He was a servant after all, and Sakuraya was his master.

For a while it was quiet, Sakuraya not responding to Shitsuo's question. Shitsuo sighed, opening his mouth to say that if Sakuraya didn't want anything from him, it was best that they both go to sleep. But before he could speak, Sakuraya finally said something in a small, almost silent voice, "You've changed."

"I beg your pardon, young master?" Shitsuo questioned, a brow arched in curiosity. He had changed? Who was Sakuraya to say that? The raven had certainly changed as well.

"Can you not call me that?" Sakuraya suddenly asked as he frowned, his brows furrowing in dislike.

"So then how would you like me to address you, young master?" Shitsuo replied a bit sarcastically as he crossed his arms, inwardly regretting the way he said it when he saw a hurt look form on Sakuraya's face.

"I-I don't know, just anything but that, please, Shitsuo," Sakuraya pleaded as he looked up at Shitsuo with a sad look in his eyes.

Shitsuo felt his heart skip a beat, and he almost wanted to give in to the raven. But then Yasahiro's warning voice spoke in his head, "_Remember that you are just a servant of this household, while Sakuraya is the young master that will soon take over the Master's title. No matter how much the young master may like you, in the end, your social statuses are different_."

Shitsuo let out a tired sigh, feeling defeated as he looked at Sakuraya seriously, "I cannot do that, young master. You are my master after all, and I must address you appropriately. Now, I believe it is very late, so it would be best for you to retire for the night."

Shitsuo tried to not feel heartbroken when he saw the crushed and betrayed expression on Sakuraya's face. The blonde moved to close the door, not wanting to look anymore. It only hurt him to know that he was the reason why Sakuraya looked like that.

"Wait! Shitsuo!" Sakuraya called out, moving in closer to block the blonde from closing the door completely. Shitsuo froze in anticipation, looking at Sakuraya expectantly. "I-I—" Sakuraya coughed slightly, clearing his throat. "I want to ask you something."

Shitsuo didn't reply back, only motioning for Sakuraya to go on, although he really hoped Sakuraya wasn't going to ask what he thought he was…

He watched the raven pause, taking in a deep breath, before breathing out, "Why did you kiss me back then?"

Well shit.

Shitsuo really hoped his body language wasn't giving away his true feelings. Although he did his best to remain calm on the outside, inside he was panicking. He didn't want Sakuraya to think about that kiss from so long ago anymore. It only meant trouble. It meant that there was still some evidence that Shitsuo possibly cared for Sakuraya more than he should. But it was a kiss that should have never happened, and Shitsuo desperately wanted to erase it from the raven's mind. And he honestly could only think of one way to do that, although it made his stomach twist uneasily. But he would have to do it. To crush any meaning that kiss may have had. To make Sakuraya hate the fact that it had happened. To make Sakuraya hate him.

And then it was like he had changed completely. Shitsuo forced his lips to curl into a lazy, sly smile as he leaned against the doorway, letting his whole body exude a type of confidence that was standoffish. A type of person that Sakuraya would definitely hate. "Kiss?" he questioned with just the right amount of bored, careless inflection in his voice. "What kiss?"

It worked perfectly as Shitsuo saw Sakuraya's brow furrow in displeasure further as the young boy bit his lip in slight irritation. "You don't remember?"

"I can't say that I do," Shitsuo shrugged, crossing his arms casually although he pressed his fingers tightly into his biceps. Although his mind said that this was the most logical approach into putting some distance between him and Sakuraya, his heart was screaming at him, begging him not to do it. Shitsuo tightened his grip on his own arms, trying to ignore that voice. He then let his face light up with recognition then, his voice still light as he spoke, "Ah, are you referring to what happened on the night of my birthday?"

Sakuraya's face lit up with hope, his mouth curling up into a smile, "So you do remember!"

"Vaguely," Shitsuo tried to brush it off, though his heart was beating quickly in his chest. Of course he remembered it. How could he ever forget that night? "Although to be honest, I'm surprised you thought about it for this long. It really was just a joke, nothing more."

"A…joke?" Sakuraya said slowly, confused and a bit upset. Shitsuo tried not to feel that hurt when he saw Sakuraya back away slightly from him, as if he had suddenly turned into some monster. Perhaps he had.

"Do I really need to explain it to you?" Shitsuo sighed exasperatedly. "It was a joke. It didn't mean anything."

_No, that's not true, _the voice in his head argued._ It meant everything._

"I just wanted to play around with you, that's it. You didn't really think it meant more than just child's play, did you?"

_No! That's not what I wanted at all! I just wanted to show you how much I cared…_

But Shitsuo continued on with his heartless charade, really seeming to not care about what had happened at all. "That would explain all those letters you sent me. Honestly, they were very annoying. I just didn't have the time to read and respond to all of them. Did you really need to be so selfish and not think of how busy I must have been in England? I was studying in a university after all! I don't have time anymore to go with all of your whims, young master."

_No…no NO NO __**NO**__! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?_ The voice in his head demanded as his heart was screaming and aching. His heart felt like it was burning in his chest as Shitsuo watched Sakuraya's hope crumble. The young raven was trembling—whether in anger or in sadness Shitsuo wasn't sure—and his hands clasped together. His scarlet eyes looked at Shitsuo like the man had grown another head, wide with shock, wondering, and fear.

"Y-You—" Sakuraya finally managed to stammer, almost hyperventilating as he slowly backed away from Shitsuo. The poor boy couldn't even finish what he wanted to say, he just shook his head incredulously. "T-that was…m-my first kiss…"

Shitsuo knew that, and that fact only made his guilty burden heavier. But he shook his head in irritation, seeming fed up with Sakuraya's display of heartbrokenness. "Dear lord, it's just a kiss. It's not a big deal. I'll show you."

And before Sakuraya could say anything else, Shitsuo grabbed his arm and pulled the raven towards himself, roughly grabbing the raven's chin and forcing him to look up. The blonde then locked their lips together, making sure to not be gentle and caring. This kiss was nothing like the kiss they had shared eleven years ago. Where that kiss had been innocent and gentle, this was harsh and carnal. During the time he had pulled Sakuraya inside his room, Shitsuo had slammed the door closed, pushing the raven up against it, keeping him trapped there. Sakuraya's shouts of protest were muffled against their lips as Shitsuo forced his way inside, taking the time to taste the raven. He felt Sakuraya trembling against him now, his small fists beating against Shitsuo's chest weakly. His shouts had diminished to helpless whimpers as Shitsuo ravished his mouth. After what felt like hours, Shitsuo finally pulled apart from the raven, Sakuraya gasping deeply for breath as his face flushed.

"See," Shitsuo pointed out, a bit breathless as he smiled slyly against Sakuraya. "Told you it means nothing. It's just all fun and sex really."

Sakuraya blushed profusely at that statement, his eyes lighting up with anger as he reached up and smacked Shitsuo harshly across the face. Shitsuo took it, turning his head back slowly to face Sakuraya with a careless expression. "I can't believe you," Sakuraya whispered, not wanting to believe it. "You're not the same person anymore."

"People change, deal with it," Shitsuo mumbled with a nonchalant shrug. But Sakuraya just shook his head disbelievingly again, tears forming the corners of his eyes as he stared at Shitsuo sadly before turning and running out of the room. The door slammed behind Sakuraya, and Shitsuo heard his thudding footsteps before they disappeared completely.

And then there was just silence in his room. Shitsuo chuckled, reaching up and gingerly touching his stinging, pink cheek. "Can't believe he slapped me," Shitsuo muttered, smiling bitterly. He walked towards the bathroom again, stopping in front of the doorway leading to it. He then growled angrily, reaching out and picking up anything his hand touched before he threw it at the ground. It shattered, glass bits scattering all over his floor. He should have been worrying about the fact whether it belonged to him or the Master and Madam and how expensive it must have been, but he didn't really care.

All he cared about was how much Sakuraya must hate him now. And how much he hated himself for making Sakuraya feel that way.

* * *

><p>Sakuraya shut his door hurriedly, locking it behind him so that no one would interrupt him. He leaned forward, his arms supported against the door as he stared at the ground, breathing heavily. Tears were streaming down his cheeks, and he was beginning to hiccup in between his quiet sobs. He then slid to the ground, crying his heart out as his tears fell onto the carpet.<p>

His chest hurt so much, his heart feeling like it was being burned, squeezed, and then ripped apart into tiny pieces. His chest heaved with his sobs, and Sakuraya attempted to crawl to his bed. But he only managed to reach out for his blanked and tug it down towards him where he clenched it in desperation, burying his face in it and letting his tears wet it. He felt like his heart was screaming in agony. No matter how much he hurt though, he still felt the same way.

_I love him. I love him. I love him._

_I love you, Shitsuo. Why don't you love me?_

* * *

><p><em>Oh no, this just won't do, <em>the man thought with a frown as he walked away from the young master's room. He had happened to spot the young master heading towards the new head butler's room earlier, and he had followed and listened in on their conversation secretly. He had then witnessed the head butler's frustration afterwards, and had gone to the young master's room only to hear him crying. From what he could guess, it seemed the two had some unresolved problem with each other. And by the expression that had been on the head butler's face and the sound of the young master's crying, he would bet it had to do with love.

And that was a problem. For him at least.

Sighing, Katsutoshi tilted his head in thought. While it was a good thing that the new head butler seemed to be denying himself his true feelings and keeping away from the young master, the fact that he _had_ feelings in the first place was troublesome. And the fact that the young master seemed to reciprocate those feelings was even more troublesome.

_I guess as long as that head butler keeps staying away from the young master, my plan should still be alright to go through with,_ Katsutoshi thought as he returned to his own room. When he finally got there,he opened the door to his room and walked inside. He then moved towards the small nightstand next to his bed and opened the drawer. Inside was a small handgun. Katsutoshi picked it up, turning it around in his hand. _But if he ever does get in the way, I guess I'll have to take him out._

_But hopefully, it won't have to come to that_, Katsutoshi thought as he put the gun back and closed the drawer. After all, he didn't have anything against the new head butler, just Sakuraya and his family.

But if the new head butler's feelings for Sakuraya did interfere with his plan, Katsutoshi would unfortunately have to deal with him. But hopefully Shitsuo was smart enough to keep rejecting his feelings, though the poor man would certainly be heartbroken if he ever found out what Katsutoshi was planning on doing to his precious young master very soon.

* * *

><p><strong>...Don't hate me for writing that. XD That's just how the story must go my dear readers~ Hope you enjoyed the bit of angsty sadness in this chapter and the bit of mystery near the end. What could sneaky Katsutoshi be up to, hmm~? Sorry it isn't longer, but the next couple chapters should be a bit lengthier! I'm planning on this story to be just 2 more chapters. We'll see if I can make it fit. :) <strong>

**Thanks for reading and reviewing everyone! I really appreciate all your lovely comments. ^^**

**-Xaleria**


	26. Important Author's Note

**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE**

Ahh, I always swear I won't do this because I myself hate to be disappointed to see these kinds of things, but I find this necessary at the moment.

First off, let me just say I'm really sorry guys it's been almost over three weeks since my last update! :( And I'm sorry this isn't a real update either. But I have good news and bad news...

The bad news is, it's still going to be probably at least another two weeks before I'm able to update this story. This is mostly due to the fact that I'm in the middle of moving right now so I've been busy packing, organizing, and purging lots of stuff from my collection of odd things I've accumulated over the years. XD (What sucks even more is that I'll be doing this in another four and half months when I move to college...aghh). Not to mention my professors decided to be really evil and each assign a project at the same time. D: I've had very little time to write, although I've been trying my best to squeeze in a few minutes here and there. I'm also a bit ashamed to admit I'm stuck in a bit of a writer's block right now. OTL I swear I'll get past it though! I do have the majority of the rest of this story planned...it's just getting there that has me stumped at the moment. XD

But the good news is, once I'm finally done moving and all this project hell is over, I'll have a lot more time to dedicate to this story and my upcoming ones! :D So hopefully I'll be able to wrap it up soon.

Again, I'm sorry this isn't a update, I just wanted to give you guys a heads up about the long wait and let you guys know I haven't died or given up. XD

Thanks so much though everyone for your kinds words and patience of gods! TT_TT You guys are seriously the best, and I'm so happy you guys stick with me despite all the long waiting periods.

Seriously, I couldn't be more grateful for you awesome people. *hearts* I'll make sure to make these next chapters extra special!

-Xaleria


	27. Shitsuo & Sakuraya 4

**Hello everyone! :) I know you're all anxious for the story after such a long wait—and I promise I won't keep your attention much longer up here—but I just wanted to let you know that I have a **_VERY IMPORTANT _**author's note at the bottom so please take the time to read it after you're done with the chapter! Thank you very much everyone! :D Now onto the story~**

**This is betaed by my wonderful beta Sunny so huge thanks to her~**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters. I do have some OC characters in this story though and I own every one of them!**

* * *

><p><strong>Shitsuo &amp; Sakuraya<strong>

The sound of birds chirping instead of the screeching wails of railcars was strange to hear after eleven years of getting used to life in London. Shitsuo sat up in his bed, looking out the window as he did so. Instead of the lively, industrial city he had gotten used to, he now saw large, sturdy trees with lush green leaves and colorful blossoms that stood against a bright, blue sky. Shitsuo had to smile softly at the sight. It was good to be home again. Although…

A frown then replaced his smile as the memories of last night crept into his thoughts. His chest burned as he recalled the hurt look in those ruby colored eyes. There was no doubt that Sakuraya hated him now. How could he not after what Shitsuo had done to him?

With a sad sigh, Shitsuo leaned back into his pillows, staring at the ceiling of his room. If only it was possible to go back to happier times. To when he and Sakuraya got along, and these feelings didn't hurt him. Shitsuo closed his eyes, reminiscing on the years he had spent in this room before everything had changed.

"_Sakuraya?" Shitsuo was shocked when he opened his door to find the five-year-old young master standing there; sniffling with teary eyes as he clutched a stuffed animal in his hands. _

"_Sh-Shitsuooooo!" the young boy wailed as he threw himself into the blonde boy's arms, sobbing in his chest and soaking Shitsuo's night shirt. _

"_Sakuraya, what's the matter?" Shitsuo asked, soothingly rubbing the young boy's back as he shut the door to his room. _

"_S'sc-scarwwyyy…" the boy hiccupped in between his sniffles as he held onto Shitsuo tighter. _

_Shitsuo realized then that Sakuraya probably had another nightmare. He knew it was a bad idea to tell Sakkuraya a scary ghost story when he requested it before bed. But the blonde smiled softly as he knelt down to be face to face to the boy. "Sakuraya, it's okay, there's nothing scary. It was just a story." _

_But Sakuraya shook his head, clutching onto his stuffed animal as his eyes widened with fear that Shitsuo would send him away. _

_Shitsuo inwardly sighed, but suggested, "Would you like to spend the night with me then?" _

_The boy brightened up at that idea, nodding his head vigorously as he bounced up and down excitedly. Shitsuo smiled amusedly at that, grabbing the boy's hand and leading him to the bed. They both snuggled underneath the covers, Sakuraya still holding on tightly to Shitsuo's hand. _

"_See?" Shitsuo whispered. "Nothing scary." _

_Sakuraya nodded, smiling as he looked at their intertwined hands. Shitsuo then watched as the young boy drifted off to sleep before he closed his own eyes and fell back into peaceful slumber._

Shitsuo opened his eyes as the memory faded in his mind. He turned on his side, seeing the ghost of the sleeping five year old Sakuraya facing him. But it disappeared within the next second, and Shitsuo felt his heart twist painfully.

"Arggh," he growled in irritation as he abruptly got out of bed, throwing back his covers and not bothering to fix them.

He made his way to the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror, blinking for a moment when he saw his younger reflection staring back at him. But he looked more closely and saw that his reflection had returned to normal.

Shitsuo sighed tiredly again. Great, now he was seeing things. He should have just stayed in England…

"Shitsuo?" a voice called from outside his room, a knock sounded at his door. "Are you awake?"

It was Tomiko, probably making sure that he was preparing for his first day on the job. "Yes, I'll be right out, Tomiko," Shitsuo answered, making sure to raise his voice so that she could hear him.

He heard her footsteps walk away and Shitsuo turned back to the mirror. His normal face stared back at him. "Well," he started to say to his reflection, "Shall we begin?"

* * *

><p>Shitsuo took in a deep breath and then let it out, looking at himself seriously in the mirror. It was slightly…weird wearing the uniform he had been so used to seeing Yasahiro in. Of course, the Master had specially ordered a new outfit for him tailored to his specific size, but it was still really similar to Yasahiro's that it made Shitsuo slightly uncomfortable. But his feelings didn't matter. He had a job to do.<p>

Pulling on the crisp, white gloves, Shitsuo made sure they were snug around his hands before fixing his tie and then attempting to slick back his hair, but it fell back to its original place, so he didn't bother a second time. Once he was presentable, Shitsuo walked out of his room and headed to the foyer were all the workers were lined up, greeting him and ready to be briefed, and then dismissed to their stations.

"Good morning, everyone," Shitsuo greeted as his eyes trailed over each and every worker, making sure to give enough acknowledgement. His eyes stopped when he reached a man he didn't readily recognize and inwardly frowned when he noticed the man was wearing something similar to his old uniform.

Who was he? Sakuraya's new caretaker? The thought of that made Shitsuo's hands clench slightly. No, why should be concerned with who he was? Shitsuo was the one who had stayed away for eleven years; of course they would have replaced him by now. But he still felt the jealousy simmering inside of him.

Shitsuo tried to push it to the back of his mind as he began to delegate out the work, dismissing people in groups. He saved the new caretaker for last, considering that they would have a lot to discuss.

"I take it you're the young master's caretaker?" Shitsuo asked casually, trying to appear indifferent as he looked straight into the man's eyes. They were a steely grey color and somewhat cold. He didn't really know why, but Shitsuo didn't really like the aura of this man. Something about him was just…off.

"That's right, sir," the man answered, and Shitsuo thought it was a odd for an older man to call him sir—even if he was technically above him. "My name is Katsutoshi."

"I see," Shitsuo murmured. "I would like it if you would catch me up on the young master's schedule, Katsutoshi-san."

The man nodded, starting to recite Sakuraya's schedule of lessons and work. "Today, the young master will be going to school from eight to three. When he arrives home at four, he has a horse riding lesson with the stable master. At five, he has an English lesson with Ms. Hardwicke. At six, his private tutor will be here to go over his lessons in economics and accounting. That will go on until eight o'clock. At eight, we will serve dinner. At nine, the young master goes over business matters with the Master. At ten, he retires for the night."

"Hm," Shitsuo mused as he narrowed his eyes in scrutiny at Katsutoshi. There was some nagging feeling in the back of his head—something that told him not to trust this man. He wondered if that was just the jealousy clouding his judgment, though he had to admit he still didn't like the look of this guy. "Alright, continue as always, Katsutoshi-san."

"Oh I intend to, sir," Katsutoshi said with a bit of a sarcastic tone as he bowed. He smiled mockingly as he looked back up at the stunned Shitsuo. "I wouldn't want to cause the young master to—_stray_ off the right path, after all."

It was only after years of hiding his emotions that Shitsuo was able to keep his expression impassive after that obvious jab. Did this man know that Shitsuo used to have his job? And was he really implying that Shitsuo hadn't done a good job? Shitsuo felt his anger rise, although he remained still, only clenching his hands tightly. He also spoke with a bit of a guarded, cold tone, his eyes narrowing suspiciously at Katsutoshi. "Yes, of course, we wouldn't want that at all."

Katsutoshi only smiled thinly before he turned to leave and go wake Sakuraya.

Shitsuo's eyes followed after him, an uneasy feeling churning inside him. That man was definitely untrustworthy; an innate feeling in Shitsuo told him that. He would have to keep an eye on this Katsutoshi.

* * *

><p>The next few weeks relatively followed the same pattern, and Shitsuo began to adjust to his work as head butler. Thankfully, since he was in charge of the entire house, he hardly had time to ponder over thoughts of Sakuraya. Of course, he did occasionally run into the young master, but since it was a Katsutoshi's job to oversee the young master directly, the times Shitsuo had to approach him were rare. And even when he did, Shitsuo maintained a businesslike distance and, fortunately, so did Sakuraya.<p>

Shitsuo had to applaud how much Sakuraya had matured over the years, though the tension between the two of them unsettled him. He could also sense how uncomfortable Sakuraya got when they had to speak to each other, so Shitsuo tried to lessen their encounters even more, always telling other maids what he wanted to relay to the young master. They wondered briefly why he didn't just tell Katsutoshi, who was in charge of the young master, but they also understood why Shitsuo wouldn't really want to approach the man. That's when Shitsuo learned a bit more about the man that had replaced him.

Katsutoshi was a very private man, hardly ever mingling with the other servants—though Shitsuo suspected that was also because not many of the servants actually liked the man. And that was because of his personality. Katsutoshi was very strict, demanding the right kind of attitude out of everyone that made most uncomfortable. They were used to the way the Master and Madam had allowed them to act, not appreciating how Katsutoshi was asking them to conform to the hierarchy of power society had set in that time. And although no one knew where Katsutoshi had come from, he obviously was well-trained as he had the skills to upkeep with the young master's schedule.

It was a bit suspicious though, and Shitsuo wondered what Katsutoshi's reasons for coming to this household were. What had led the man here? What was he hoping to accomplish? And why had he taunted Shitsuo earlier? What was the meaning behind his words, and how did Katsutoshi seem to know everything?

But these questions remained unanswered, and Shitsuo felt frustrated over the fact that he didn't know. He definitely felt like this man was up to something, but he had no idea what Katsutoshi would do or how he would act.

Shitsuo sighed tiredly, deciding to debate over his thoughts later as he walked back inside the house, looking at the mail that had just been delivered. Most were invitations for high class parties asking the Master, Madam, and young master to attend. But there were some for the servants mixed in with it. Shitsuo flipped through these, putting aside ones he would deliver to the male servants he knew, while making a separate pile for the maids that Tomiko would pass out. Shitsuo paused in his movements, though as he came across a letter written in English with his name on it. There was a return address on it, although no name. Curiously, Shitsuo placed down the rest of the letters and opened his letter.

Pulling out a couple crisp, white papers with recognizable neat handwriting, Shitsuo was surprised to see that Michael had written him. He had thought that with the way they had departed, Michael would never contact him again. But he guessed he was wrong.

_Dear Shitsuo,_

_How is everything in Japan? Are you doing well? I must say, I miss you terribly. London just doesn't feel quite the same anymore, now that you are not here with me. _

_However, do not worry about me. I am doing much better than when you last saw me. I am just writing to tell you that I just sold our townhome like you asked me to. I will be wiring you your half of the money soon, and do not write back telling me to keep it. I do not need any more pity from you. Remember, we are friends now, and that means we are equals. So I will be sending you your money. _

_I also wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of leaving England and traveling the world a bit. I'm thinking of heading to Japan, and when and if I do go there, I hope we can meet up to catch up with each other. Perhaps you can even introduce me to that man you are so infatuated with. _

_After all, as your friend, I want to see you be happy. So I hope you are happy. _

_I will write back to you once I make my decision._

_Sincerely,_

_Michael Williams _

"I take it you received some good news?"

Shitsuo was a bit surprised when someone suddenly called out, tearing his eyes away from Michael's letter.

Standing a few feet from him was Sakuraya's English teacher, Ms. Hardwicke, a young Englishwoman with blonde hair that was pulled back into a bun and sea blue eyes. She smiled warmly at Shitsuo. "I apologize; it seems I have startled you."

"Oh, no, madam, I was the one who was not paying attention," Shitsuo apologetically smiled.

"Oh please, just call me Emily," she asked, waving her hand in dismissal before Shitsuo could open his mouth to protest. "I'm hardly anyone of status, so there's no need to be so formal with me."

Shitsuo looked a bit apprehensive at first, but nodded in acquiescence, "If that is what you would like, Ms. Emily."

Emily seemed to accept the fact that she wouldn't convince Shitsuo to drop the "M". Instead, she decided to change the conversation, asking, "You studied in England for eleven years, did you not, Mr. Shitsuo?"

"I did," Shitsuo nodded, putting Michael's letter back into the envelope.

"Your English must be impeccable then," Emily commented, her eyes shining with anticipation. "I do hope that we can converse in English sometimes about London. I was from there originally and have not been able to go back for some time, and I quite miss the city terribly."

Shitsuo smiled fondly at the mention of London, knowing how much Emily must feel homesick as he too experienced such emotions when he was away from Japan. "I would be more than happy to talk with you, Ms. Emily. Perhaps sometime after the young master's lessons we can sit down and have some tea together."

"Oh that would be splendid!" Emily clasped her together gleefully, smiling widely at Shitsuo. Her mouth then curved into a sly, teasing smile as she brought up her earlier question. "By the way, Mr. Shitsuo, I noticed how fondly you were looking at that letter you received and, pardon my curiosity, I wondered if it contained some good news. Perhaps it's from someone special you left behind in England?" Emily held back the urge to laugh politely at Shitsuo's face that reddened slightly with embarrassment.

"You've got it all wrong Ms. Emily," Shitsuo quickly explained. "It's just some news from a dear friend of mine in London."

"I see," Emily murmured thoughtfully. "Although the look in your eyes as you read that letter sure implied this person is more than just a 'dear friend', Mr. Shitsuo."

Shitsuo's face grew even more heated, and he wondered how he looked to Emily. Of course, he still cared deeply about Michael—after all they had shared—but if he looked that way when just thinking about Michael, he wondered how he would look if he thought about Sakuraya. And he wondered if that was a good thing or not…

"It seems I have taken my teasing a bit too far," Emily looked at the blonde apologetically.

"Oh no, it's just…" Shitsuo paused, trying to look for the right words, "Well…do I really look that obvious?"

Emily smiled reassuringly at the distressed Shitsuo, patting his arm reassuringly, "Do not worry. It's clear you care deeply for the person who wrote to you, and I do not think anyone will think less of you for feeling that way. But I will keep this between just the two of us."

Shitsuo couldn't help but return the lady's smile, "Thank you, Ms. Emily."

"You're welcome, Mr. Shitsuo."

The two of them then made small chat with each other, laughing over shared stories. Unknown to them, they were being watched from above as Sakuraya hid in a hallway and peeked over the corner to look down below at the two of them. A painful feeling tugged at his heart as it cried out.

'_Why?'_ his heart wondered. '_Why won't you smile at me like that anymore? Why won't you treat me as nicely as you did before? What's different now? What's changed?'_

And as if he had heard its questions, Shitsuo's eyes suddenly moved and found Sakuraya's. They two of them looked at each other for a moment, and Sakuraya felt his heart sink when he saw Shitsuo's smile fall into a frown. Sakuraya abruptly turned away and hurriedly walked down the hall then.

He couldn't stand to see Shitsuo look at him like that. It made his heart burn in his chest as it yearned for the blonde that didn't want him.

"Young master," a voice called out, making Sakuraya stop. He turned, his mouth twitching slightly to frown, although he resisted the urge.

"Katsutoshi-san," Sakuraya nodded in acknowledgement, though his tone was slightly bitter. He didn't really feel like dealing with the man right now, but he really had no choice. Even if he told Katsutoshi to leave him alone, the man would just end up lecturing him on how that wasn't proper behavior for a "young master" to do so. Deciding to just get whatever it was that Katsutoshi wanted to say out there, Sakuraya asked, "Is there something you needed to tell me?"

"Only to remind you of the Kogawa party happening in a few weeks," Katsutoshi informed him. "It will be your first formal event without your father in attendance as well."

"Yes, yes, I know," Sakuraya sighed tiredly, still a bit irritated and hurt over Shitsuo's earlier actions. "Don't worry; I won't do anything that will stain my father's name."

"Of course not, young master," Katsutoshi bowed in respect. The man then paused before continuing, "They would certainly make a good couple, would they not?"

"What?" Sakuraya was surprised by Katsutoshi's change in subject, his ruby eyes widening.

"Shitsuo-san and Ms. Hardwicke," Katsutoshi clarified, motioning towards the end of the hall where the two had been downstairs. "They are both at the right age to marry. I wonder if we should suggest to the Master to match make them."

Sakuraya opened his mouth, wanting to protest, but stopped himself. Who was he to say no? Who was he to reject any prospects Shitsuo had for marriage? After all, the man had made it very clear that he had no special feelings towards Sakuraya. There was nothing stopping Shitsuo from marrying a woman. A woman would be better for him. A woman would be more _right_ for him.

His throat felt really dry now, and Sakuraya could feel his heart ache. He turned away from Katsutoshi, forcing himself to speak calmly, "It's really none of my business. If the two of them wish to seek a union, then they can speak to my father themselves."

"I suppose that is true," Katsutoshi commented casually.

Sakuraya only nodded, saying, "I'm going to be studying in my room, so do not bother me," before he left. With each step he took, it felt like his body got heavier, weighing him down and making him feel a like he was sick.

The image of Shitsuo smiling popped into his head, followed by the sight of Shitsuo frowning at him, and Sakuraya stopped in his walk, leaning against the wall for support. He wondered how he would live the rest of his life, knowing that Shitsuo wouldn't smile at him anymore. He wondered how he would live the rest of his life, knowing that Shitsuo would belong to someone else because that's just the way things had to be.

Somehow, it didn't seem like much of a life.

* * *

><p>A few more weeks went by, and Shitsuo wondered if he could keep this up. Could he keep on acting so coldly with Sakuraya? It was actually taking a lot more effort out of him than he thought it would before because it pained him every time he saw the hurt look in Sakuraya's eyes. Shitsuo sighed, shaking his head as he shuffled through the day's mail. His motions were almost automatic as he sorted through them.<p>

"Is something the matter, Mr. Shitsuo?" Shitsuo looked up at his visitor, stopping in mid-action to smile reassuringly at her.

"Oh no, Ms. Emily, I guess I'm just a bit under the weather today."

"Oh, well I do hope you cheer up soon," Emily smiled in encouragement.

"Thank you, Ms. Emily," Shitsuo replied, touched by her concern, although he knew his problems wouldn't be solved that easily.

"So, anything special today?" Emily asked, gesturing to the mail. After their initial meeting a few weeks ago, Shitsuo had told Emily all about his time in London. He even divulged about his relationship with Michael, finding Emily easy and comforting to talk to. She didn't judge him and listened attentively; she even offered her own input now and then. It was refreshing for Shitsuo to have someone he could confide in.

"Ah, well I'm not sure. I haven't seen anything yet," Shitsuo told her with a small smile on his face.

"I see, well, I do hope your friend does decide to come," Emily said as she folded her hands together in front of her dress's skirt. "Oh, I almost forgot, I actually came down to tell you that the Master is asking for you in his study. He has something important to tell you."

"Really? Hm, I better go right away then," Shitsuo murmured, putting the rest of the mail down to be sorted through later. "Thank you for letting me know Ms. Emily."

"You're welcome, Mr. Shitsuo." Emily watched as the blonde left, heading towards the Master's study until he was out of sight. Looking around to make sure no one else was watching, Emily casually walked up to the discarded mail pile and looked through them.

She came across one letter addressed to Shitsuo written in English and plucked it from the pile, ripping it open and pulling out the papers inside. Scanning through most of it, she smiled when she saw the words she wanted to see.

_I'll be coming to Japan after all, Shitsuo. I should be there by the end of the week you receive this letter…_

Again, Emily looked around to make sure that she was alone before she slipped the letter back inside the envelope, fixed the mail pile so it looked untouched, and then walked away with Michael's letter in her hands.

* * *

><p>Shitsuo looked at the doors leading to the master's study, wondering why the man was calling for him. But he supposed it had to be something important, so Shitsuo knocked on the door, readying himself for whatever the master was going to say to him.<p>

"Come in," the master's voice rang. Shitsuo opened the door, closing it behind him once he was inside, and walked up the master's desk.

"You called for me, sir?"

"Ah yes," the Master smiled at Shitsuo affectionately, as if he were looking at his own son. "How are you, Shitsuo? Are you adjusting well to your new job?"

"Yes, sir. I just hope I am doing a satisfactory job as Yasahiro-san used to do," Shitsuo replied.

The Master's smile softened a bit, his eyes kind as he spoke to the blonde, "It's alright, Shitsuo. You don't need to try so hard to fill Yasahiro-san's shoes completely. Although I know you want to do right by him, I'm sure he would be satisfied if you just do your job however it suits you."

Shitsuo was quiet for a moment, absorbing the master's words, unsure of how to respond. Eventually, all he could think of to say was, "Thank you."

The Master gave him that kind smile of his, continuing, "Actually, I called for you because I wanted to ask you to do something for me."

"Of course, Master. What is it that you wish for me to do?" Shitsuo inquired.

"I would like you to go to the Kogawa party at the end of this week with Sakuraya as his attendant," the Master told him, folding his hands together and resting his chin on them.

Shitsuo was taken by surprise by this news all of a sudden, looking at the master with questioning eyes, "Me, sir? What about Katsutoshi? Shouldn't he go as the young master's attendant?"

"Usually he would," the Master said as he leaned back in his chair. "But seeing as this is Sakuraya's first party without me, I would prefer that he have someone he is more comfortable with there. You and he used to be very close as children, and Sakuraya is always telling me about how he feels uncomfortable with Katsutoshi attending to him since they're so far in age."

"That's true, sir," Shitsuo murmured, understanding the master's logic. He wanted to say, "But I don't think Sakuraya would be very comfortable with me right now", but couldn't say that to the master's face. The master would wonder why, and that wasn't something he really wanted to explain to the master. "If that is what you would like me to do, I will do it."

"Excellent. I knew I could count on you Shitsuo." The blonde only nodded, though inwardly—still a bit hesitant about actually doing this. However, he didn't protest and left the Master's study without another word.

* * *

><p>The car ride to the Kogawa party was completely silent. Tension filled the air—which made Sakuraya uncomfortable as he tried not to fidget. He was already struggling to not have his hands shaking uncontrollably as he smoothed them against the white fabric of his kimono. He decided to wear a kimono to the party to represent his father's tea-making business and because he found western clothing uncomfortable. But now he wished he had worn some western clothes instead. His kimono was light and thin, and he felt like he was almost exposed in front of Shitsuo as he tugged the edges of his white and pink haori closer together.<p>

Shitsuo sat across from him, his arms crossed against his chest. He wore a suit a bit more formal than his usual one, and had slicked back his hair, although half of it was already hanging over his forehead. But it actually made him look more handsome.

Sakuraya felt his face heat up as his eyes then met Shitsuo's; embarrassed, the blonde had caught him staring. He quickly turned away, looking out the window at the street and the people walking about. He really wished this night would be over already. If he had known that his father had asked Shitsuo to go along instead, Sakuraya wouldn't have even come. He had been purposely avoiding the man since seeing him with Ms. Hardwicke.

'_I wonder if he has started courting her.' _Sakuraya thought as everything passed by them as a blur. '_They do talk to each other a lot and have tea together…'_

Sakuraya frowned as he thought of his English teacher. She was certainly very pretty with her long blonde hair, fair skin, and bright blue eyes. She was only a few years younger than Shitsuo, and they were both at the right age to marry. They both were of the same class and looked beautiful together…

If only he had been born a woman instead.

"…oung master. Young master!"

Sakuraya snapped out of his thoughts as he turned to his companion, seeing that Shitsuo had already stepped out of the car and was waiting to help Sakuraya out.

"We have arrived," Shitsuo informed him, his hand held out for Sakuraya to take.

"Uh yes…" Sakuraya muttered, tentatively taking Shitsuo's hand and stepping out of the car. He tripped slightly on his geta, though, and let out a scared squeak, readying to fall into a heap on the ground. But a strong arm wrapped around him, steadying him. For a moment, Sakuraya felt the old warmth of Shitsuo's arms and he held onto Shitsuo's sleeve, not wanting to let go. He looked up at the blonde, seeing some kind of emotion in the blonde's eyes. But what was it…?

But before Sakuraya could think any further, Shitsuo's face grew guarded again as he warned, "Be careful."

"Um, thanks," Sakuraya mumbled, trying not to feel hurt when Shitsuo immediately took his arms away, once it seemed Sakuraya was okay. It had been a bit comforting to feel Shitsuo's arms around him again, but it wasn't like before. Shitsuo wouldn't hold him now without a reason.

"Ah! Why if it isn't Sakuraya! Welcome to our household!"

Sakuraya sighed inwardly, plastering a fake smile on his face as he turned to Mr. Kogawa in greeting.

It was going to be a very long night.

* * *

><p>Katsutoshi pulled the rim of his hat down lower, hiding his face as he calmly walked through the streets of Tokyo. He stopped when he reached a quaint little Western style home, walked up the stairs, and knocked on the door. It opened within a few seconds, and a woman inside welcomed Katsutoshi with a wide smile.<p>

"I almost thought you wouldn't come tonight," the woman said, moving aside so that Katsutoshi could come inside.

"Sorry I'm so late; it took me a while to leave without anyone noticing." Katsutoshi took off his jacket and hat, hanging them up as he turned towards the woman, bringing her into his arms and giving her a quick kiss. "Did you miss me, my dear Emily?"

"Of course I did," the blonde English woman giggled, pulling away slightly as a lady should have done, but not far enough to reject his advances. Emily then smiled invitingly at him, twirling her finger against the fabric of his shirt. "I actually have a present for you."

"Do you now?" Katsutoshi smiled, wrapping his arms around Emily's waist as she led him down a hallway where various doors were.

"Yes, I think you'll like this present very much," Emily said in a teasing manner, stopping at one of the doors and putting her hand on the doorway. She pushed it down and the door opened, revealing what was inside.

A person, tied up with rope, blindfolded, and gagged was curled up on the floor. The person heard the voices and began to struggle, shouts muffled against the gag. Emily leaned against Katsutoshi, saying, "I had the guys go get him from the dock today."

"My, this is such a pleasant surprise!" Katsutoshi exclaimed as he reached down to kiss Emily. "Thank you, my dear."

Katsutoshi then knelt down so that he could remove the blindfold from the person, revealing frightened and confused, deep blue eyes. Katsutoshi just smiled at the person, "As I know it, you're Michael Williams right?" Michael struggled again, yelling something against his gag. Katsutoshi ignored him, grabbing his face and inspecting Michael, "Hm, you really do look like the young master. I guess that's why Shitsuo chose you. I'm very sorry, though, that we had to drag you into this. But I needed a distraction for a certain blonde you know, and you just happened to fit nicely into my schedule."

Michael's eyes widened in fear then as Katsutoshi's smile grew wickeder. "Now I wonder how much more we can make you scream."

* * *

><p>Sakuraya was tired of this. He didn't even like parties. He didn't like how the adults looked at him like he was some cute little kid who didn't really belong, but everyone didn't have the heart to throw out. And he especially didn't like how the young ladies all cooed over him and treated him as if he were one of them. He didn't even want to think of the lustful stares he got from a few men as well.<p>

"Young master, don't you think you should go mingle with everyone?"

And the one thing Sakuraya especially didn't like about tonight was how pushy Shitsuo was being. He was almost as bad as Katsutoshi.

"I don't feel like it," Sakuraya grumbled as he leaned against the corner of the wall he had found refuge in. He had already done all the greetings he needed to do and wished that he could just be on his way back home. But it would be considered "rude" if he left so early.

Shitsuo frowned, though he kept it discreet, because he could feel all the eyes trailed on the pair. "Shouldn't you at least make an effort? You are of age to marry now and should really consider who you would like for a partner. And you cannot do that without looking for one in the first place."

Sakuraya was silent. He felt his whole body freeze over.

Did…did he really just hear that? Was Shitsuo really telling him to find someone else? To marry someone else? _To be_ with someone else? He wondered how much more abuse his heart would be able to take as it felt like it was ripping into tiny little pieces and being burned. He felt his throat burn as well as he momentarily forgot how to breathe, the pain overwhelming. And he could feel rage rise within him as well. He was angry; no, he was more than angry! He was livid! How dare Shitsuo suggest something like that? Maybe Sakuraya hadn't been able to convey his true feelings to Shitsuo, but surely the man could see that Sakuraya _cared_ a lot about him, right? And to just say something like that to his face?

It was like Shitsuo was telling him to leave him alone. He was a_ nuisance_ to Shitsuo.

"Young master?" Shitsuo's voice called out questionably.

Sakuraya just glared in response, feeling too upset to be anything else but mad with the blonde. "I want to go home, Shitsuo."

"But you cannot just lea—"

"_**Now**_, Shitsuo. I want to go home _**now.**_"

Sensing that he wouldn't be able to convince Sakuraya otherwise, Shitsuo bowed in acquiescence, "As you wish, young master." He then left to fetch their coats and call for the driver.

Once he was gone, Sakuraya let out of a ragged breath, slumping against the wall. He felt his eyes water, but he did his best to not cry—not here in public, where people would be able to see him and pity him.

He didn't want their pity. He just wanted one person. But it wasn't easy to get what he wanted.

* * *

><p>Shitsuo sighed tiredly and irritatingly as he mussed up his hair, shutting the door to his room behind him. What the hell had happened tonight? What could have made Sakuraya so angry with him? He had never seen the raven this angry at him before.<p>

The ride home from the Kogawa party had been even tenser than it had when they had gone there, and Sakuraya had ignored Shitsuo the whole way. And once they had gotten home, Sakuraya had refused his help and practically stormed to his room.

'_I hurt him again_,' Shitsuo thought bitterly as he leaned against his door. '_I wonder how much he hates me now…but this is what I wanted, isn't it?'_

But the stinging ache in his chest told him differently.

"Dammit," he growled, throwing his jacket to the ground and not caring that it would wrinkle. He pulled off his bowtie and undid his sleeve buttons, moving to undo the ones down his shirt when a knock on his door interrupted him.

"Shitsuo-san," Tomiko's voice rang outside, "someone is on the phone for you in the foyer."

Shitsuo groaned silently, placing his fingers against the temple of his head as he felt it pounding painfully. He honestly didn't feel like dealing with anyone right now, and he contemplated ignoring the call. But that wouldn't be professional.

"Alright, I'll be down there in the moment," Shitsuo called out, rolling up his sleeves. He frowned at his rumpled clothes at the floor, wondering if he should bother picking them up. But he decided to just leave it as he walked out to the foyer.

He tried not to sigh in irritation as he picked up the phone, "Shitsuo speaking."

"_S-Sh-Shitsuo?_"

The blonde's eyes widened as he recognized the scared voice over the phone. "Michael? Is that you? What's the matter?"

He heard the boy stifle a sob on the other end, "_Shitsuo, I-I don't know what's going on. Th-these people just grabbed me and—mmpph_!"

"Michael!"

"_Hello there, Mr. Shitsuo. Fine evening tonight, isn't it?_"

Shitsuo felt his face distort to confusion as he recognized the new voice and exclaimed, "Ms. Emily!" What the hell was she doing with Michael? "What's going on?"

"_Now, now, Mr. Shitsuo, no need to sound so upset. You wouldn't want anything happening to your little…'friend' here would you?_"

Shitsuo grit his teeth together as he heard a muffled scream from Michael in the background while Emily laughed wickedly. He still wasn't sure what Emily was planning on doing with Michael, but obviously it was nothing good. How could he have trusted her so easily? And what exactly did she hope to gain by kidnapping Michael?

"What the hell do you want from me?" Shitsuo demanded in a low voice as he looked around to make sure no one was overhearing him. He really didn't need to bring trouble to the master right now. And he didn't want to give Emily any more cause for hurting Michael if he brought outsiders into this.

"_Uh-uh,_" Emily chided playfully from the other side. "_It wouldn't be very fun if I told you everything right from the start would it? You need to work for answers, Mr. Shitsuo. Meet me by the bay docks in twenty minutes. I'll give you your answers then. Oh, and I suppose there's no need to tell you to come alone, right? Or else your dear friend here will have to suffer the consequences._"

Shitsuo's mouth tightened into a thin line, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. He didn't like the sound of this at all. It obviously was meant as a trap for him. But for what? What could Emily possibly want from him? But he wouldn't get any answers if he didn't follow her commands…

"Alright. I'll be there."

"_Splendid!_" Emily cooed from the other end before laughing merrily as if they were planning a tea party. "_It's a date_."

Then all Shitsuo was heard was the click of the phone being hung up before he too hung it up. He stood still for a moment, silently glaring at the phone with various thoughts swarming through his mind.

Just what the hell was going on?

Unable to think of any immediate answer to his question, Shitsuo just angrily growled and quickly turned on his heel, running to grab a coat before he left the manor, making sure that no one noticed his absence.

* * *

><p>Sakuraya angrily stormed into his room, shutting the door a bit harder than necessary. He felt his eyes sting with tears and his chest burn with anger and sadness. He wasn't sure what to do with himself. He just wanted everything to go away. He just wanted to crawl up into a ball, close his eyes, and open them to find that this all had just been a horrible dream.<p>

However, someone knocking on his door and then slowly entering stopped him from such. "Young master, is everything all right?"

Sakuraya shut his eyes, taking in calming breathes. He honestly didn't want to deal with Katsutoshi right now and turned to tell the man to leave, but Sakuraya was surprised when saw Katsutoshi was carrying a tray of tea with him.

"I heard you stomping up the stairs and thought you were upset. I figured some tea might help calm you down," Katsutoshi offered the tea with a kind smile on his face. "It's your favorite of your father's blends."

Sakuraya had to admit he was a bit touched that Katsutoshi thought of bringing him tea. He did find drinking tea very calming. "Thank you," Sakuraya murmured, taking the warm tea cup off the tray as he bobbed his head slightly in thanks. He did feel much better as the warmth from the cup seeped through his skin, almost soothing the pain in his heart. He took in a deep breath, taking in the delicious scent of the tea. "Mmm."

He took a sip of the tea, feeling the warm liquid slide down his throat and warm his belly. But the tea also tasted a bit off. It didn't taste as sweet as it normally did, having a slight bitter taste. He licked his lips, wondering what made it taste so odd. Maybe Katsutoshi didn't prepare it correctly?

"Katsutoshi," Sakuraya called out. His head all of sudden felt very light as everything started to spin around him. His feet became unsteady as he tried to walk towards his bed, feeling very weak. "Wha—"

Before he could even finish speaking, all the strength left his feet, and he fell forward into Katsutoshi's arms.

"You must be very tired, young master," Katsutoshi's voice rang in his ears, almost a slight mocking tone to his words. "Just relax and let me take care of you."

Sakuraya could feel his eyelids get heavy as he struggled to stay awake. He tried to reach up and grab Katsutoshi, but he couldn't feel the muscles in his arms.

'_Shitsuo…help me…' _Sakuraya thought, but then his eyes fluttered shut and he lost consciousness completely.

* * *

><p><strong>Heehee, sorry to leave you with such a cliffy everyone, but I just enjoy leaving you guys in suspense too much~ Next chapter will be the last one of Shitsuo and Sakuraya's story and there's the TsukixRoppi extra! Man, can't believe I'm almost done. D: Hope the length of this chapter made up for the wait!<strong>

**In other news, I have something very important to share with you all. ****I recently was informed by a kind fellow writer here in FF . Net that someone actually **_**stole**_** one of my Durarara stories off my profile and posted it on another site claiming it was their own. They didn't even change the summary, chapter titles, or even the story title really and copied everything word for word. Now I'm a bit shocked as this has never happened to me before and was even more shocked to find out I was not the only writer this person stole from.**

**Frankly, I'm quite upset. I'm usually a very open person and don't mind having people write their own spin offs of my stories or share it on other sites as long as they ask me beforehand and give credit where it's due. However, this person hadn't even bothered to do that or even say that the story wasn't originally theirs, and to be very blunt, I felt furious and violated.**

**Fortunately, this person complied with my request to remove my story from their profile, and I do hope I never see anything like this again. I know that people who usually have trouble like this tend to delete the stories completely to keep it from happening again. However, I know many of you guys enjoy that story and would not want to delete it so that you can no longer read it conveniently. But I'm afraid if it does happen again, I will have to take preventive measures.**

**I am really grateful for the writer here on FF. Net who took the time to find and inform me though that my story had been stolen, and I just wanted to ask a favor from you all. If any of you happen to see mine, or anyone else's stories for that matter, posted by someone else claiming it as their own, please let the original writer know. I absolutely cannot stand the idea of someone getting credit for someone else's hard work without the original writer even being aware of such.**

**Thank you very much everyone for taking the time to listen to me! :) And for reading and reviewing as always! I apologize again for this long delayed chapter. Hopefully I'll have the next one up soon if all the unpacking and homework I have to catch up on doesn't kill me first. D:**

**-Xaleria**


	28. Shitsuo & Sakuraya 5

**Here's the betaed version guys! :) Enjoy~**

**This is betaed by my wonderful beta Sunny so huge thanks to her~**

**WARNING:** This story is rated M so there will be lemon in this chapter. You have been forewarned.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters. I do have some OC characters in this story though and I own every one of them! Also, I don't own the cover image for this story. Unfortunately, I can't find the original artist's name as I got this image off of tumblr but all credit goes to the original artist.**

* * *

><p><strong>Shitsuo &amp; Sakuraya<strong>

Shitsuo frowned as he looked around the dock next to the Tokyo bay. It was dark, and the water from the bay looked black as it splashed in small waves. He looked at his watch then and realized it was the appointed time to meet.

And like clock worth, a car came into his view; its lights slightly blinding his eyes as they turned on him. Shitsuo held a hand up, shielding his eyes as the doors opened and a few people shrouded in darkness hopped out of the vehicle before stepping into the light.

"Mr. Shitsuo!" a gleeful voice called out. The woman waved her hand as if she were greeting an old friend.

Shitsuo felt his entire face harden with distrust as he glared at the woman approaching him, "Where's Michael?" He didn't even bother greeting her, feeling she didn't deserve his friendliness anymore.

Emily smiled thinly as she crossed her arms. "Ah, yes, the boy." Snapping her fingers, a man accompanying her reached into the car and pulled out Michael.

Shitsuo inwardly felt relieved at seeing that Michael wasn't dead, but frowned at the sight of all the wounds covering his body. Michael looked at Shitsuo with wide, frightened eyes—visibly trembling in the man's grip as he called out towards Shitsuo, although the sounds were muffled by the gag. Shitsuo clenched his hands into fists, feeling guilty that he had somehow dragged Michael into whatever this was. His steely eyes then turned back to Emily, "So what do you want from me?"

"My, so impatient, Mr. Shitsuo!" Emily laughed, placing her hand over her chest in a coy way. "Don't you have the decency to make some small talk first?"

"Just shut the hell up and tell me what you want!" Shitsuo growled, stepping forward threateningly. However, the guard men backing Emily retaliated, tightening their grip around Michael who cried out in pain. Shitsuo inwardly swore as he backed up, glaring hatefully at the grinning woman across from him.

"I wouldn't make any wrong moves if I were you, Mr. Shitsuo," Emily warned, wagging her finger in a chastising manner.

Shitsuo felt so angry that he wanted to just go up and give that woman a piece of his mind, if not his fist. _'But Michael…' _Shitsuo sighed, dropping his offensive stance as he tried to simply stand still. "Fine; what is it that you want from me? I'll give you anything as long as you let the boy go."

Shitsuo was surprised when Emily burst out laughing, throwing her head back in quite an unladylike manner as she clenched her stomach. "You really think I want something from you?" Emily sneered when she stopped laughing, narrowing her eyes at Shitsuo. "You are utterly useless to me. The only reason why I asked you here is because we needed to distract you."

"We?" Shitsuo questioned, frowning as he realized the truth. This was a trap, and he wasn't the intended target. He was just a nuisance they needed to get rid of. And apparently, Emily wasn't working alone.

"Oh yes," Emily smiled sweetly, clasping her hands together. "I never told you did I? Hardwicke is my maiden name. My married name was Anderson, and my husband used to run a very prosperous import company. He would import Japanese goods to England, and tea just happened to be one of his major imports."

As Emily began to share her story, Shitsuo started to piece the puzzle bit by bit. Tea. That was the master's business. "Your husband worked with my master," Shitsuo more pointed out than asked.

"Correct; one point for Mr. Shitsuo!" Emily mockingly declared, but her wicked smile had distorted to a snarl as she glared at Shitsuo. "Your master had just decided one day that the way my husband did business was too 'corrupt' and stopped working with him! And after your 'master' backed out, my husband ended up losing all his clients! Your 'master' is the one who drove us to the poor house and my poor husband to death!"

The memory of that day was still fresh in Emily's head.

_Crying over a headstone, dressed fully in black, Emily buried her face in her hands. She had lost everything. Her wealth, her dignity, her home, her husband…everything had been taken from her! And it was all that damn man's fault!_

"_Emily," a voice called out to her._

_She turned around, wiping the tears from her eyes as she faced the speaker and responded, "Katsutoshi." The man had been her husband's best friend and right hand man for years. He had practically been a part of their family. Her husband committing suicide had hit him pretty hard too._

"_I'm sorry," he told her, taking her hands into his own and giving them a sympathetic squeeze. "I'm sorry I couldn't do anything for Harold."_

"_No, it's not your fault, Katsutoshi," Emily reassured, letting out a few sniffles and drying her eyes. "If it's anyone's fault, it's the damn man that ruined us!"_

"_Yes," Katsutoshi agreed with a hardened frown on his face. He then paused in thought before he slowly spoke, "Emily, what do you think about teaching English to a Japanese kid?"_

"_Teaching?" Emily questioned, bewildered by the sudden question. "Katsutoshi, I hardly think this is—"_

"_I hear that man is looking for an English teacher for his child," Katsutoshi continued. "He absolutely dotes on his son and would do just about anything for him."_

"_You want me to teach that man's son?" Emily hissed._

"_No, I want us to gain that man's trust," Katsutoshi explained. "So that way, he wouldn't suspect a thing when we seek our revenge against him."_

_Emily paused in thought, absorbing the idea. Katsutoshi looked at her expectantly, "What do say, Emily? Will you join me in getting justice for Harold?"_

_Emily bit her lip, seeming a bit hesitant at first, but then her expression hardened as her voice was cool, "Yes, I think I will join you, Katsutoshi."_

"We're only returning the favor to that 'master' of yours," Emily said simply, "by hurting someone close to him."

'_Sakuraya!'_ Shitsuo felt his whole body freeze over in fear as he realized what her words meant. How could have he been so stupid? Of course they would be after Sakuraya! And Katsutoshi somehow knew about Shitsuo's feelings…hence why they wanted to get rid of him! He would have done anything to protect Sakuraya, so in order to successfully carry out their revenge, they needed him out of the way. And Michael had been the perfect last piece of the puzzle.

"What have you done to Sakuraya?" Shitsuo demanded as his fists shook angrily, really wanting to lash out at something.

"I haven't done anything to him," Emily pointed out, though that wicked smirk had returned to her face. "However, I can't say the same for Katsutoshi."

'_Shit!'_ Shitsuo thought as he looked around, noticing for the first time that Katsutoshi wasn't here with Emily. That meant he was somewhere else with Sakuraya doing who knows what to him, and Shitsuo didn't like the idea of that.

"I can tell you where they are," Emily said, teasing him with a cruel spark in her eyes. "They're at the Hatakawa hotel in the Hana room. However, I don't think you'll be able to get there and save your friend here at the same time."

And before Shitsuo could even react, Emily snapped her fingers again and one of the men threw Michael into the bay. The water splashed as Shitsuo screamed, "Michael!"

Shitsuo ignored the fact that Emily was getting away as he shed his coat and dived into the bay. The water felt ice cold on his skin, and it was completely dark like ink. Time felt surreal as he seemed to just keep going further and further down. Stray pieces of trash bumped into him, but he just moved it aside, searching for Michael.

Yet the water's temperature felt like it was dropping even more around him, and he could feel shivers beginning to take over his body as his muscles felt sore. His throat burned with the need to breath. _'But I need to find Michael!'_

As if some god had heard him, Shitsuo suddenly spotted Michael sinking towards the bottom, unconscious. With renewed strength, Shitsuo pushed himself downward just enough to grab Michael. He was heavy, and with his muscles already protesting, Shitsuo wasn't sure if he'd be able to make it to shore. But he pushed forward, swimming as quickly as he could.

However, the dark water around them felt like a trap, and Shitsuo wondered if he really was going to die here, as it felt like hours seemed to have passed. He still had to go save Sakuraya! But he was already starting to feel so weak and lightheaded…

Suddenly there was a loud splash, and Shitsuo couldn't see who it was but someone had come to his aid, grabbing the blonde's arm pushing him upwards. Soon muffled yelling filled his ears as he broke through the top of the water, gasping for breath.

"Hurry! Get them out of the water!"

"We need some blankets over here!"

"Dammit Shitsuo!" That voice, he recognized!

Shitsuo coughed as he looked up, seeing Tomiko and a bunch of other servants from the manor hauling him and Michael out of the water. "T-To-Tomiko-o…"

She had tears in her eyes as she glared at Shitsuo, "Stupid Shitsuo! How the hell could you just come to such a dangerous meeting alone? I thought we were friends!"

Shitsuo felt so relieved then. He didn't know how Tomiko and the other servants had found him, but he was glad that they had. "I-I'm s-s-s-sorry," Shitsuo shivered, feeling the cool air bite into his skin as he was pulled up onto the dock. A warm blanket was wrapped around him, effectively soothing him as someone rubbed his shoulders to create warmth.

"You better be sorry!" Tomiko chastised. "Thank god that Misao is a bit nosier than she should be and overheard your conversation on the phone. If she hadn't, you'd surely be dead!"

'_Dead…' _Shitsuo thought before his eyes widened and he abruptly stood up. '_Sakuraya!'_

Emily's taunting words from earlier came to his mind. '_They're at the Hatakawa hotel in the Hana room.'_

"Tomiko, please tell me you came here in car," Shitsuo quickly said as he shed the blanket, still feeling a bit cold.

"Of course we came in a car—hey, where are you going?"

"I need to do something urgent! Take care of Michael for me!" Shitsuo called out to her, running towards the car and quickly starting it up. He heard Tomiko shouting protests at him, but ignored them as he quickly drove towards the city with one destination and one person in mind.

* * *

><p>"Nghn," Sakuraya groaned as he felt uncomfortable. His entire body felt like it was on fire! His throat was dry, and there was this strange, tingling feeling coursing throughout his entire being as he squirmed. He didn't know what this feeling was, but it burned! He wanted some water to cool himself down. He wanted some kind of relief! His breaths began to come out in short pants.<p>

"Ah, I guess that means the aphrodisiac is beginning to work."

Sakuraya started at the sound of a voice, feeling something tug against the weight of his hands as his eyes fluttered open. Sakuraya growled angrily when he was met with the face of the man he had disliked for the past few years and really disliked at the moment. "Katsutoshi," he hissed, his eyes narrowing to a hateful glare. "What the hell have you done to me?"

"I have just pumped some drugs into your system, that's all. I haven't done anything to harm you…yet," Katsutoshi clarified with a wicked smirk on his face as he reached towards Sakuraya.

Sakuraya flinched, readying himself for any attack Katsutoshi was planning on doing to him. But instead he felt a cool hand slide up his leg and push aside the flaps of his yukata. Sakuraya's eyes widened with renewed fear as he exclaimed, "W-what are you—aahh…" The raven felt his cheeks burn as he had never been more ashamed when his body responded to Katsutoshi's teasing touches. Every touch of Katsutoshi's seemed to just ignite the fire in his body more as it started to become unbearable. Sakuraya felt so embarrassed and furious as his body ached for more. It wanted more. He inwardly tried to convince himself that it was merely the effects of a drug and not any want of his own.

"Hm, yes, you look very enticing like this," Katsutoshi murmured, his eyes looking down at the flushed Sakuraya whose arms were tied together as his whole body trembling with aching need to release. His yukata had been messed up, pulled apart to reveal more of his skin as Sakuraya blushed furiously. He really wished he could kick Katsutoshi since his legs weren't tied up, but he was even more afraid to find out what Katsutoshi would do to him if Sakuraya agitated him while in this vulnerable state. Katsutoshi only smirked in response to Sakuraya's hateful looks, "I'm sure you'll fetch for a nice price tonight."

Sakuraya felt his heart stop in fear at the sound of those words. "W-wh-what do you mean?"

Katsutoshi's cruel smile only seemed to widen more, "Oh I'm sure you know, 'young master'"—he said this sarcastically with a slightly acidic tone of voice—"that you're considered quite the beauty and are very…popular amongst the rich old men your father mingles with. At first, all I had intended to do was ransom you for everything your father is worth, but I find it would be a lot more satisfying to not only do that but crush your father completely when he sees his 'precious' son be defiled by the very people he 'trusted' to work with."

Despite the fire building in his body, Sakuraya felt his whole body freeze over in disgust and horror. And although he was frightened by the implication of Katsutoshi's words, he tried to keep his chin up as he glared at Katsutoshi. When Sakuraya spoke, he did his best to keep his voice steady to show he had more confidence than he really did at the moment.

"You're not going to get away with this. My father will find me."

Katsutoshi only laughed in response, shaking his head as if Sakuraya had just said something unbelievable. "We'll see about that, young master," Katsutoshi commented as he stood up from the bed, crossing his arms behind his back as he mockingly looked down at Sakuraya with pity. "I'm sorry to leave so suddenly, but I have some ransom money to go pick up and then an auction to attend. Try not to move around too much. The drug's effect will only increase. Hm… Actually on second thought, I guess that wouldn't be such a bad thing."

The lewd smirk on Katsutoshi's face made Sakuraya sick to his stomach. He watched Katsutoshi rake his eyes over his body once again before the man left the room. Once the sound of his retreating footsteps disappeared, Sakuraya began to survey his surroundings, looking for a way out.

The only window in the room was barred from the outside so it seemed the only way out was through the door. And as long as Katsutoshi didn't come back sometime soon, he should manage to escape quietly. Now to just untie his arms…

Sakuraya tugged on his hands a bit, feeling how tight the bonds were around his wrists. He looked around for something to cut them with and his eyes landed on the desk in the room. Thankfully Katsutoshi had not thought of tying up his feet. Sakuraya moved to get out of the bed. However, he had underestimated the drug and cried out in surprise when his legs were too weak to carry his weight and he toppled over onto the ground.

"Argh!" he exclaimed in frustration, hating how much his face and body burned and ached. Sakuraya tried to roll over to push himself back up, slowly getting up on his knees. It seemed he could manage that much so he walked over to the desk on his knees, his body trembling with each step as it protested at being neglected. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Sakuraya reached the desk. He pulled the drawer open with his mouth and then peered inside, looking for a letter opener or any sharp object. But to his dismay, there was only a set of stationary inside. "Dammit!"

Quickly whipping his head around to survey the room again, Sakuraya brightened when he saw a large wall mirror. It would hurt him a bit, but if he could just shatter the glass, he would be able to grab a shard and cut himself free.

Mustering all his strength, Sakuraya forced himself to his feet and unsteadily made his way to the mirror. He looked around for anything heavy and picked up the chair that was by the desk. Lifting it with everything ounce of strength he had, he threw it at the mirror. The sound of it breaking rung in his ears as pieces of glass fell to the ground.

Sakuraya practically dropped on his knees frantically—and blindly since his hands were tied behind his back—reaching out to grab the nearest piece of sharp glass. He cut his fingers in the process, but even though the cuts stung, he forced himself to hold the glass shard tightly as he worked his way through the bonds.

Fortunately, it seemed Katsutoshi had tied him up with a fabric of some sort, so it was easier to cut through than rope would have been. Sighing in relief when his hands were finally free, Sakuraya twisted his wrists to soothe the aches. But it seemed the drug had a far greater effect than he had anticipated as the pain that had been concentrated in his lower regions spread to the rest of his body, almost paralyzing him.

Sakuraya breathed heavily now, biting his lip to keep back moans as he clutched at the walls for support while he made his way to the door. He was a bit startled when he got closer to the door and heard shouting noises outside. It sounded like someone was arguing a bit intensely. Opening the door, Sakuraya looked out just in time to see Shitsuo fighting with Katsutoshi.

'_Wh-what?'_ Sakuraya was confused, seeing Shitsuo there as his eyes widened with shock. What was he doing here? How did he even get here? And why was he fighting Katsutoshi? Was it possible that Shitsuo had actually come here to save him?

Sakuraya felt his heart swell with hope and happiness for just a moment before the glint of a gun in Katsutoshi's hand caught his eye. He seriously felt his heart stop beating as he froze in fear, his mouth opening to scream out Shitsuo's name in warning.

But the sound of his voice was drowned out by the boom of the gunshot. And Sakuraya could only hold onto the doorway for support as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. It was like time had slowed down especially just so Sakuraya could see the expression on Shitsuo's face.

The surprise, the slight pain in his honey eyes, and the relief of seeing Sakuraya.

And then all the strength left Sakuraya's legs as he fell to the ground, Shitsuo falling in time with him.

* * *

><p>Shitsuo practically jumped out of the moving car as he hardly had the patience or time to turn it off and park it. He ignored the shouts of protest of the doorman as he ran inside the western style hotel. He knew he startled the receptionist when he ran up to her and demanded, "Which floor is the Hana room on?"<p>

"I'm sorry, sir," she smoothly said, although she was taken aback by Shitsuo's attitude, "but that room is currently occupied and—"

"Miss, I really don't have the time or patience to play games with you," Shitsuo warned in a low tone. The receptionist became a bit frightened of the dark expression on his face. "Which floor is the Hana room on?"

"F-F-fourth floor…"

Shitsuo only nodded his thanks before he ran off. He didn't bother with the elevator—it was too slow and crowed—and just ran up the stairs. As he burst through the doors that led to the stairs on the fourth floor, he spotted the man he wanted to see walking down the hall. An angry, almost feral, growl escaped Shitsuo, which caught the man's attention, who certainly appeared shocked to see Shitsuo standing there.

"You!" Katsutoshi exclaimed.

Shitsuo didn't even hesitate for a moment as he attacked Katsutoshi, landing a few good hits before Katsutoshi reacted. Katsutoshi was able to block Shitsuo's next blow before he started to throw some of his own. The two of them grunted as they struggled against each other.

"You're supposed to be dead!" Katsutoshi hissed as he dodged Shitsuo's hits.

Shitsuo chuckled darkly as he narrowed his eyes at Katsutoshi, "You really think that woman of yours could take me down?"

Katsutoshi cursed, knowing that Emily must have done her job, but they had underestimated Shitsuo. He was beginning to panic. Things definitely weren't going according to plan! He had to go pick up the ransom and didn't have the time to deal with this man!

Shitsuo smirked when he saw that Katsutoshi was losing his confidence. It would allow for him to make more mistakes. And sure enough, Shitsuo spotted an opening and quickly seized the chance. He punched Katsutoshi in the gut, and the man groaned on impact. Shitsuo then quickly twisted Katsutoshi's arms behind his back and wrapped his arm around the man's neck, tightly gripping it so that he had Katsutoshi in a chokehold.

"I should kill you," Shitsuo murmured harshly in Katsutoshi's ear as the man tried to fight against Shitsuo's grip but failed to escape. "But I'd much rather see you rot in prison."

"Heh, fine, go ahead and turn me in," Katsutoshi dared him. Despite the fact that he was caught, a devious smirk curled on his face. He knew what Shitsuo's weakness was, and he'd be damned if he didn't use it when he could. "You're too late anyway to save your precious Sakuraya."

Sure enough, Katsutoshi felt Shitsuo stop in shock before the grip on his neck tightened. "What did you do to Sakuraya?" the blonde demanded, his voice rough and laced with anger.

"Nothing he didn't deserve," Katsutoshi taunted, waiting for the right moment as he watched Shitsuo's face distort in rage. And there! A moment where Shitsuo had let his guard down. Katsutoshi knocked his elbow into Shitsuo's stomach, causing the man to back up and lose the wind from his lungs.

Katsutoshi quickly escaped his grip, reaching into his jacket and readying his handgun as he turned, pointing it towards Shitsuo's head. The man stopped mid-stride, ready to strike back at Katsutoshi, when he saw the gun. Shitsuo cursed when he realized he had allowed this to happen by letting Katsutoshi get under his skin.

"Really, Mr. Shitsuo," Katsutoshi chuckled as he held the gun steady. "This is exactly why you should have just forgotten about your feelings completely. It's a weakness."

Shitsuo didn't even answer; he only glared at Katsutoshi as his hands curled into angry fists. Relishing in Shitsuo's frustration at having the inability to do anything, Katsutoshi smiled widely and teased the blonde further.

"Though I can see why you would desire the young master. I can't imagine anyone who wouldn't want a taste of such a sinful looking boy. Even I found it hard to resist such a temptation," Katsutoshi's smirk widened even further when he saw Shitsuo's eyes flash in anger.

"I swear, Katsutoshi, if you touched Sakuraya I will—!" Shitsuo couldn't even finish his sentence coherently, just growling in anger as his fists shook with his rage.

Katsutoshi laughed incredulously, as he mocked Shitsuo, "Or you'll do what? You're really in no position to threaten me right now—"

Katsutoshi was interrupted thought when the two heard a muffled shattering noise come from a nearby room. "Shit!" Katsutoshi cursed when he realized what room the sound came from.

Seeing that Katsutoshi was distracted, Shitsuo took this chance to charge at Katsutoshi, grabbing the hand that held the gun. "Argh!" the man cursed as he struggled with the blonde butler, the two of them forcing their weight against each other as they struggled for power. Katsutoshi kept a tight grip on the gun, but Shitsuo kept twisting his arm in a way that the gun wouldn't hit anything. Somehow, they had managed to get the gun in between their bodies and Katsutoshi wanted t pull the trigger and just blast bullets through that damn man who kept ruining his plans! But it wasn't an ideal angle, and he'd more likely hurt himself than Shitsuo. If he could just turn his hand a little more, he would be able to kill Shitsuo…

Katsutoshi and Shitsuo glared at each other as the gun in their hands trembled between them.

"Shitsuo!"

A loud booming sound deafened Shitsuo. The recoil from the gunshot threw him away from Katsutoshi as his stomach burned with pain. His head was spinning, and his ears were ringing. His whole entire body trembled from the impact as he tried to stand on his feet. But he could feel himself toppling over. And he could hear someone crying hysterically behind him. His stomach still hurt, so Shitsuo reached down to touch it and frowned when he was met with something sticky.

Pulling his fingers away, he found them stained with blood.

* * *

><p>Sakuraya could hear his breaths coming out erratically as his fingers scratched at the doorway for some kind of purchase. He could hear choked sobs and whimpers and realized that they were coming from him. All he could think about was the fallen man on the ground only a few feet away from him.<p>

'_No…no no nonononononono…' _the word rapidly repeated itself in his head as he tried to get up on his feet. His eyes stung with tears that were pooling in the corners of his eyes. His hands unconsciously reached out towards Shitsuo's body as they trembled from the shock. _This can't be happening!_

Shitsuo wasn't even supposed to be here. He wasn't even supposed to come save Sakuraya. He didn't care about him! That's what he had said! So why…?

Sakuraya was slowly losing hold of himself as he curled up into a fetal position, shaking his head in denial as he buried his head against his knees—as if not seeing Shitsuo lying in front of him would make it disappear. Shitsuo couldn't be dead. There was so much Sakuraya hadn't said—so much that Sakuraya wanted to ask and understand. Shitsuo couldn't just leave him like this…

"Uugh…" a groan caused Sakuraya's head to shoot up, tears streaming down his cheeks. He watched with renewed shock as Shitsuo slowly pushed himself off the ground. "Damn, that burns."

"Sh-Shitsuo?" The blonde turned at the sound of his name, seeing Sakuraya had crawled on his knees, facing Shitsuo with eyes that were wide with disbelief, his hand hesitantly reaching towards the blonde. "I-Is it…" Sakuraya couldn't even finish his sentence, his face distorting to relief as he cried. "I-I th-thought you had di-died!"

"What?" Shitsuo exclaimed, looking panicked as he never knew what to do when Sakuraya cried. "No, no! Please stop crying, Sakuraya. You know I hate it when you cry."

"B-But…" Sakuraya stuttered as he attempted to wipe away the tears from his face and tried to calm down. He was suddenly embarrassed to have been seen like this by Shitsuo. But his concerns were pushed to the back of his mind when he spotted the blood soaking through Shitsuo's white shirt. "You're bleeding!"

"Huh?" Shitsuo was taken aback when Sakuraya suddenly touched his stomach. He grabbed the raven's hand, pulling them away from the blood stain as he tried not to be too giddy over Sakuraya's concern for him. "Oh this, this isn't mine. It's Katsutoshi's."

That was when Sakuraya remembered that Shitsuo had been fighting with Katsutoshi. His eyes turned to the man lying behind Shitsuo. He gasped as he saw that the man was dead, blood pooling around his body as his eyes stared at the roof lifelessly.

Shitsuo was frowning as he muttered, "Damn bastard pulled the trigger when the gun was pointed at him. Probably thought he was shooting me."

Sakuraya could feel relief flood through him—relief that this was all over and that Shitsuo was safe. While it was unfortunate that Katsutoshi had died, Sakuraya could honestly say he felt no grief for the man after what he had done. Sakuraya then turned his eyes to Shitsuo, who had turned to look at him at the same time. For a moment, they just stared at each other, so many questions in their eyes. But before they could say anything, thudding footsteps and loud voices filled the hall as policemen arrived.

It took a while for Shitsuo and Sakuraya to explain the scene and they still had to be questioned by the police. But after their brief interrogation and their identities being confirmed, Shitsuo and Sakuraya learned the police had apprehended Emily and were going to send her to back to England to be tried since she wasn't a Japanese citizen. The possibilities of her actually getting punished by the English weren't that high, and Shitsuo was slightly angry for that. But he would have to accept it. Once the police were down carting away Katsutoshi's dead body, the police let them go.

Shitsuo had gotten a blanket from the hotel staff and covered Sakuraya with it, leading the boy to the car he had come in and driving themselves home. The drive home was silent, and Sakuraya could feel himself growing anxious inside. His eyes kept flickering towards Shitsuo, nervous over the man's calm expression.

_What's going to happen now?_ Sakuraya wondered as he turned away and looked out the window, a sad frown on his face. He really hoped that everything wouldn't return to how it had been before.

He wasn't sure if he could handle Shitsuo ignoring him a second time.

* * *

><p>Shitsuo wasn't sure how he was going to deal with all of this when he finally arrived at the manor. Everyone was waiting outside and cheering happily and cried in relief when they saw Shitsuo and Sakuraya were safe.<p>

The Master and Madam had hugged and cried over Sakuraya as their son clutched onto them. The Master had even came up to him afterwards to clap his hand on his shoulder and give him that kind smile of his, "I don't know how I can thank you enough for this, Shitsuo. Yasahiro would be proud of you."

"Thank you, sir," Shitsuo murmured in response, smiling a little at the Master's affection.

"Father, I'm feeling quite tired from everything. Can I retire for the night?" Sakuraya called out.

"Of course you can, my son!" the Master told him, going up to Sakuraya and placing a hand around the boy's shoulders to give him an affectionate squeeze. The Master then turned to Shitsuo, "Shitsuo, could you accompany Sakuraya to his room?"

"Ah—" Shitsuo started, a bit uncomfortable. He wasn't sure what he was going to say to Sakuraya. The night's events had certainly changed things between them once again, so where were they supposed to go from here? "Yes, sir."

Having no other choice, Shitsuo help Sakuraya to his room. The hallway was empty as the other servants had gone to bed after learning the news and rejoicing over Shitsuo and Sakuraya's return. The tense silence unsettled Shitsuo as he walked beside Sakuraya. The raven had not spoken to him since they were at the hotel, and Sakuraya had not looked at him either. Did he not want to talk to Shitsuo?

"Here we are, young master," Shitsuo opened the door to Sakuraya's room, turning on the lights and waiting for him to go inside. But something seemed a bit…off. Shitsuo frowned in worry, "Sakuraya?"

Sakuraya finally turned up to look at him then, and Shitsuo was thrown off by the…aroused expression on the raven's face as Sakuraya panted slightly. Shitsuo then felt his cheeks heat up considerably when Sakuraya suddenly shut the door and tackled Shitsuo the ground.

"S-Sakuraya!"

"Sh-Shitsuo," Sakuraya moaned in pain as he buried his face against Shitsuo's chest, his body trembling. "H-Help me…"

Shitsuo cursed inwardly when he realized that Katsutoshi must have drugged Sakuraya beforehand, hence why he was acting like this. "Sakuraya, get off me. You need to lie down and cool off. Let me get you some water and—"

"I don't want that!" Sakuraya shouted in frustration, fisting Shitsuo's shirt in his hands. His face was colored pink as he spoke, "I-I want you…"

'_This is bad,'_ Shitsuo thought as his heart thumped in his chest, his entire being stirring with desire to grant his young master's wishes while his logic told him that wasn't a smart decision. He forced himself to push Sakuraya upward, getting up to sit himself. "Look, Sakuraya, you're not thinking rationally here. It's the drug that Katsutoshi gave you that's doing this. I don't want to do anything you might regret, so just calm down for a moment and I'll…"

Shitsuo trailed off in surprise as he saw tears begin to fall from Sakuraya's eyes. He always hated seeing Sakuraya cry. It made him feel guilty and want to wipe them away. There was no reason for Sakuraya to cry…and no reason for him to be the reason behind his tears.

"Do you really hate me that much?" Sakuraya practically whispered as he furiously wiped away his tears from his eyes, but they wouldn't stop. "Am I really that unlovable?"

"What! No! Sakuraya, that's not what I—"

"Then why?" Sakuraya demanded. "Why are you pushing me away?"

Shitsuo groaned, not knowing how to explain this. How was he supposed to tell Sakuraya that he didn't hate him, and that, in fact, he felt quite the opposite? But how was he also going to break the news that they couldn't be together? That their positions in society didn't match up? That one day Sakuraya would have to choose a woman over him and...?

'_Ah well, fuck it!'_

Shitsuo's arm snaked forward and pulled Sakuraya's head close to his, their lips connected. They met each other with heated passion, their mouths opening synchronously, granting entrance. The nostalgic taste of one another was bittersweet. Shitsuo was unsure of how he could have resisted this earlier as his mind screamed, '_More! I want more!'_

Shitsuo tipped Sakuraya's head a bit, causing the young raven to open his mouth even wider. Shitsuo left no part of his wet cavern unexplored as Sakuraya trembled against him, whimpering against their kiss. It was only when Shitsuo could feel his lungs burn for air that he pulled away, both of them gasping. A thin thread of saliva still connected their tongues before it broke. Their puffs of breaths mixed together as their eyes met, honey facing crimson. Both their faces were flushed, their foreheads pushed together, and their hands had somehow intertwined during their brief makeout session.

"Wh-what is this supposed to mean?" Sakuraya finally broke the silence, speaking hesitantly as he shyly glanced at Shitsuo.

'_Damn, how can he be so cute?'_ Shitsuo thought as he felt his whole body rumble with desire. A chuckle escaped him as he wrapped his arms around Sakuraya, loving the warmth of their bodies pressed together. How could he ever want to give this up? "It means I've finally lost my patience."

Sakuraya still looked at him questionably.

"I'm tired," Shitsuo explained further, "I'm tired of pretending that I don't care about you. That I don't want you too."

He paused to reach down and give Sakuraya another kiss, but this one was more gentle and innocent. A simple brushing of their lips against each other for just a few seconds was hardly enough to merit as a real kiss, but it was more meaningful than the other kind of kisses Shitsuo had given Sakuraya.

"Do you want to know what I wished for that night?" Shitsuo whispered softly, watching Sakuraya a bit warily as the raven recognized that he was referring to the night of Shitsuo's birthday before he had gone to England. The last time they had been happy together.

Sakuraya hesitated before he nodded, feeling his heart beat faster when he saw the soft, loving smile stretch across Shitsuo's face. The man leaned closer, his mouth right next to Sakuraya's ear as his breath tickled the raven, "I wished for you. I love you, Sakuraya."

And that was all Sakuraya needed to hear.

* * *

><p>"<em>Aahhh!<em>" Sakuraya blushed profusely as he tried to hide his face behind his arms, biting his lip. He couldn't believe these sounds were coming from his own mouth! How lewd he sounded!

"Why do you keep hiding your face?" Shitsuo asked as he smiled amusedly. "Are you embarrassed that you're showing me this lascivious side of you?" As if to make a point, he thrust his fingers in deeper, scraping against the sensitive skin inside the young raven. His hand that had been pumping Sakuraya's engorged manhood gave it a little squeeze.

"Aahh! N-No st-stop…" Sakuraya gasped, panting for breath as his body trembled, aching with need for _more_. The raven was sitting on Shitsuo's lap, his back leaning against the blonde's chest as his hands clenched fistfuls of his white shirt. His legs were spread apart, his feet hooked behind Shitsuo's legs to keep them in place. The blonde currently had two fingers squirming inside him that drove Sakuraya crazy.

"You don't really want me to stop, do you?" Sakuraya glared in response to the smug look on Shitsuo's face. The blonde chuckled, kissing the side of Sakuraya's head before trailing his lips down and kissing Sakuraya's neck. Sakuraya moaned as he felt Shitsuo's tongue snake out and lick his milky skin before his teeth gently bit him, and Shitsuo sucked and left a dark mark to show his possession of the raven.

Sakuraya began to wiggle in Shitsuo's grip, feeling the pressure grow in his abdomen begging to be released, but never feeling fully satisfied to. He was beginning to grow inpatient as the fire in his body just seemed to grow hotter. "Shitsuo," he whined, throwing his head back against the blonde's shoulder. He looked up at Shitsuo from his eyelashes, his face flushed with arousal as he reached down to palm at Shitsuo's still clothed erection. He blushed at his bold action, feeling Shitsuo's body shake with his amused laughs.

"Hm? What is that you want, young master~?" Shitsuo teased, enjoying the way Sakuraya's face heated up even more at the playful sound of his title. "I won't be able to grant your wish if you don't tell me what it is."

Shitsuo was highly entertained by watching Sakuraya's lower lip tremble a bit as his entire face burned. He watched the raven struggle with himself for a moment before he buried his face in the crook of Shitsuo's neck, stammering, "I-I wa-want you in—inside me…"

'_So cute,'_ Shitsuo smiled as he saw how pink the tips of Sakuraya's ears were. So maybe he had taken his teasing a bit too far, but it had been worth it. "As you wish, young master."

Sakuraya was surprised when Shitsuo suddenly turned him around so that they were facing each other and captured his lips. They kissed each other fervently as Shitsuo worked his zipper open. He stretched his fingers inside Sakuraya apart, preparing him properly to be able to take his size. The raven mewed against their lips, his whole body shaking. Shitsuo smiled thinly, his own control beginning to slip.

Sakuraya tried to whine in protest when he felt Shitsuo's fingers retreat and tensed in anticipation when something much thicker pressed against his entrance. His head began to spin as he realized what he and Shitsuo were about to do.

"Relax, Sakuraya," Shitsuo reassured, kissed the side of the raven's head softly in comfort. "I'll go slowly, okay?"

Sakuraya could only nod, wrapping his arms around Shitsuo's neck tightly as he forced himself to relax. He felt Shitsuo's thumbs rub against his hips soothingly as he slowly pushed himself inside. Sakuraya winced, biting his lip as he felt himself get stretched beyond his limits. The first couple inches weren't that bad, but as Shitsuo pushed further in until he was up to the hilt, Sakuraya began to feel the excruciating pain.

"You alright, Sakuraya?" Shitsuo asked as he breathed heavily, the hot, tight warmth around him caving in. He could see Sakuraya was trying to be strong, clenching his hands tightly and biting his lip hard enough to draw a little blood as his eyes were shut tightly. Little tears built up in the corners of them.

Sakuraya only nodded quickly, taking in deep breaths as he tried to relax and adjust to the connection linked on Shituso's end. It was weird to think there was actually a throbbing hot piece of flesh inside him.

Shitsuo patiently waited for Sakuraya to give him the okay, encouraging the raven with sweet kisses. Soon, Sakuraya began to return his kisses with fervor, and Shitsuo took that as a signal that it was okay to move. He started off slowly, thrusting shallowly as Sakuraya moaned in his ear. Soon the raven began to respond to his movements, pushing his hips down to meet Shitsuo's thrusts as he sucked the blonde in even deeper. Shitsuo began to quicken his pace, looking for that pleasurable spot.

Suddenly Sakuraya cried out in pleasure, his whole body shaking uncontrollably as his fingernails dug into Shitsuo's back. "T-There…oh god…"

Seeing the reaction, Shitsuo thrust upward and struck that spot again, earning another aroused cry from the raven. He began to repeatedly thrust to hit that spot, watching Sakuraya succumb to the pleasure as his own excitement reached its peak within him.

"Sh-Shitsuo," Sakuraya called out desperately as he looked at the blonde through half-lidded, lustful eyes. He reached up to kiss the blonde with every bit of energy he had, hastily whispering when they broke apart, "I love you…"

Hearing those words come from Sakuraya's mouth made Shitsuo beyond happy. It made him forget the fact that they were of different classes, that no one in society would accept them, and that they weren't supposed to be together. It didn't matter what anyone else said anymore. He had finally gotten what he wanted. And he would never let go of it.

"Shitsuo—I'm—mmnnphh," Shitsuo interrupted him by kissing him again, quickening his thrusts as he brought Sakuraya to his climax. Their cries of climax melded together as they both peaked and released, their hearts beating erratically in their chests.

They broke from their kiss, their eyes stared at each other as a soft smile spread across both their faces.

It didn't matter what happened from here on out now, because the two of them had finally gotten what they wanted.

* * *

><p>Michael looked up from where he was resting on the bed as he heard a knock on the door. "Come in."<p>

The door opened, revealing a honey-eyed blonde man that apologetically looked at Michael. The blue-eyed raven smiled reassuringly though, beckoning him in, "Oh don't be a stranger, Shitsuo. Come in."

"Michael," Shitsuo started, looking saddened as he walked up beside the bed. He grabbed the boy's hand and gave it a slight squeeze, "I'm so sorry about this. About getting you involved."

Michael's expression softened as he placed his other hand on top of Shitsuo's in comfort, "It's alright, Shitsuo. This isn't your fault. If anything, it's mine for not being careful."

Although Michael still wasn't sure what the real reason was behind everything, he had an idea of what it could be based on what he had heard Emily tell Shitsuo. He was just glad now that everything was over.

Shitsuo smiled a bit sadly as he looked at Michael, gently ruffling his hair, "You always were too good for me."

"Mhmm, you said it," Michael teased, smiling in response to the laugh that he got out of Shitsuo. "I'm glad that you seem happy now, Shitsuo."

"Thank you," Shitsuo replied, the smile on his face softening. "I am happy."

Michael rolled his eyes teasingly, readying to mock Shitsuo when another knock on the door interrupted them. "Excuse me," Tomiko said as she opened the door, her expression curious. "But there's a Mathew Hayes in the phone asking for Mr. Williams."

Shitsuo's brows shot up in question at the sound of his best friend's name. He turned towards Michael, noting the slightly coloring in the boy's cheeks as he told Tomiko, "Please tell him that I'll be right out to take his call."

Tomiko nodded and left the two alone, Shitsuo's mouth curling up into a sly smile. "Since when did you and Mathew become so close?" Mathew had been the only one of his friends that Shitsuo had introduced Michael to once he felt they were becoming more serious. Surprisingly, his friend had taken Shitsuo's coming out in stride and had grown close to them. But now Shitsuo wondered if there was a reason why Mathew wanted to be so close to them…

"After you left," Michael admitted quietly as he turned away from Shitsuo in embarrassment. "It's not what you think. We're just friends."

"Mhm," Shitsuo murmured. "Of course only just a 'friend' would make an international call to check up on you."

"Shitsuo," Michael warned, frowning.

Shitsuo backed up from the topic, chuckling as he held his hands up innocently, "Alright, alright, but I'm glad that you also seem much better. Mathew may like to make jokes, but he's a good, serious man when he needs to be."

"I know," Michael whispered, a small smile on his face. He then got up from the bed and shooed Shitsuo away, "I have a phone call to take so why don't you go find that pretty boy of yours? I'm sure he must be having a hard time getting up if you treated him anyway like the way you treated me."

"M-Michael!" Shitsuo sputtered in shock as his cheeks heated up. Michael laughed merrily at the blonde's reaction as he walked out of the room, waving goodbye to Shitsuo. The blonde sighed tiredly, shaking his head as he couldn't help the small smile that spread on his face. He then turned in the opposite direction of where Michael's room was, heading to the master's study to talk with him.

* * *

><p>Shitsuo took in a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves as he looked at the door that led to the Master's office. He wondered if it really was a smart idea to do what he was about to do. But he had already come this far; there was no point in turning back now.<p>

Gathering up his courage, Shitsuo knocked on the door, waiting until he heard the master respond, "Come in" before opening the door and doing so.

"Ah! Shitsuo! Great timing," the Master smiled in greeting as he motioned for Shitsuo to sit. "I actually wanted to speak with you about something important."

"So did I, Master," Shitsuo replied as he didn't take a seat, but instead stood in front of the master's desk. "Actually, if I could speak first?"

The Master looked a bit curious, nodding for Shitsuo to speak first as he wondered why the blonde looked so serious. Shitsuo took in another deep breath and slowly let it out, closing his eyes as he prepared himself. The Master was taken aback when Shitsuo suddenly got on his knees and bowed, saying, "I'm sorry, Master, but please grant this selfish request of mine and give Sakuraya to me. I know he is your only son and heir, sir, but I love him. I promise I will take care of him."

There was a tense silence as Shitsuo let the request sink into the Master's mind. He was afraid of looking up to see the master look at him with shock, anger, and disgust, but eventually he would have to face the Master. So Shitsuo turned his head up and was surprised to find that instead of anger on the Master's face, there was actually a wide, happy smile.

The Master let out a low chuckle, getting up from his chair. "I was wondering when you would finally ask me this. Please, get up, Shitsuo; there's no reason for you to be bowing."

Shitsuo was so confused but followed his master's orders, standing and wondering if he was still asleep and dreaming. So the Master wasn't angry with him? While he was thankful, he didn't quite understand what was going on.

The Master, sensing Shitsuo's confusion, just laughed merrily and walked over to clap the blonde on the back, "My boy, do you really think I wouldn't notice your feelings? The lengths you go through for Sakuraya…well, it's obvious you care deeply for him."

Shitsuo was so ashamed of himself. Had he really been that obvious? He really thought he had hid his feelings well enough, but apparently he had thought wrong. The Master smiled reassuringly at Shitsuo though, "Do not worry, Shitsuo. I am not as…conservative as many of my counterparts are. I do not care if Sakuraya never has an heir. I just want my son to be happy and you as well. I consider you my own son as well, and I know Yasahiro would have wanted you to be happy as well."

Shitsuo wasn't sure what to say, still wondering if he was caught up in a fantasy. Was the master really telling him it was okay? That he worried himself over nothing? Hope and happiness filled him as his mouth slowly curled up into a smile. He looked so gratefully at the Master, thinking he was really lucky to have such people in his life. "I cannot even begin to thank you enough, sir."

"I should be the one telling you that, Shitsuo," the Master laughed as he threw his arm around the blonde's neck and leading him to the couch so that they could sit more comfortably. "You've really done so much for this family, and actually that is what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Sir?"

The Master smiled as he folded his hands together. "Shitsuo, how would you like to become my real son?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>A year later…<strong>_

Ring. Ring.

"Hello, you've reached Sakura Tea Import Company, how may I help you? …Hm, that does sound like something we'd be interested in…Well, I can arrange for you to meet with the president so that he can listen to your proposal. How does the 29th of June sound? Wonderful, we look forward to meeting you then. Goodbye."

Sakuraya then hung up the phone, jotting down the appointment in a black planner as a door creaked open behind him. Sakuraya smiled as he felt familiar, warm arms wrap around him from behind as someone kissed the side of his head, a voice speaking softly in his ear, "Another possible business partner?"

"Yes," Sakuraya answered as he closed the black planner. "Their proposal sounded quite interesting too."

"Hm, it must be good if you're praising them so highly," Shitsuo commented as he helped Sakuraya up from his chair. He wrapped his arms around the raven's waist, leaning against the desk for support as he smiled at his lover.

"Of course it's good. I only pick the best after all," Sakuraya joked as he smiled back up at Shitsuo. He still couldn't believe how much had changed within a year. It had turned out that his father had actually known about his feelings towards Shitsuo and the blonde's feelings all along. He had just been waiting for the two of them to realize it. And once they had, he had legally adopted Shitsuo as his own son (1). From then on, he allowed both Sakuraya and Shitsuo to run his tea making business, and Shitsuo had successfully transformed the business so that they were a major tea importer. Life couldn't be any better at the moment.

"What are you so happy about?" Shitsuo asked, breaking Sakuraya from his thoughts.

"Oh, everything really," Sakuraya answered as he smiled wider. He stood up on the tip of his toes then, stealing a quick kiss from the blonde.

Shitsuo blinked in surprise, a sly smile entering his face as he chuckled, "When did you get to be so bold?"

"Hm, don't know," Sakuraya said playfully, pulling away from Shitsuo and purposely sashaying his way across the office. He knew that Shitsuo was following his movements with his eyes, and he liked it that way. "You don't like it?"

"I never said that," Shitsuo retorted as he got up and walked towards Sakuraya, trapping the raven against a wall between his hands. "I think I actually quite like this new, bold you."

"Of course you do." Sakuraya then tugged on Shitsuo's tie, bringing the man down for what the blonde thought was a kiss. But Sakuraya paused before their lips touched, smiling mischievously, which made the blonde wonder what he was up to. And before Shitsuo could ask, Sakuraya licked Shitsuo's lips like he was a cat lapping at milk before nipping the blonde's bottom lip teasingly. The raven then let the blonde's tie slide through his fingers before letting go and practically glided out of the office towards the connected break room. He stopped by the doorway though, peeking coyly over his shoulder as he smiled invitingly at Shitsuo, "How about we take a break?"

Shitsuo chuckled, his eyes lightened with amusement as he followed after Sakuraya, his voice low and husky as he spoke, "I think that sounds like a great idea."

He reached down to loop his arm around Sakuraya's waist, leading the raven into the break room as he shut the door behind them.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Present Time, Tokyo, Japan<strong>_

"Shitsuo! Shitsuo! Oh dear, where did that boy run off to again?"

The young, blonde boy of eight years carefully hid himself within the bushes of the garden, warily looking through leaves with his coffee colored eyes. He watched the headmistress's feet where she stood only a few feet away. He then heard the headmistress huff in annoyance before sighing tiredly and turning to leave. Shitsuo remained hidden in the bushes until he was definitely sure that the headmistress was gone.

Once he was sure that he had successfully escaped his afternoon chores, Shitsuo moved to get out from under the bushes, except a strange sound stopped him. He perked up, tilting his head slightly as he strained to listen. Was that…was that a _baby's_ cry?

"What's the matter?" Shitsuo was startled when he suddenly heard another voice.

He turned slightly, spotting two people that had stopped in front of the bushes he was hiding in. There was a tall blonde in a bartender uniform with a smaller raven-haired man next to him in a furry coat. The raven had first stopped his walking, frowning in thought.

"Oh, nothing," the raven then replied to the blonde, seeming to be listening carefully for something. "I thought I just heard something."

"Like what?" the blonde asked.

"I don't know," the raven shrugged. "Guess it was just the wind."

Shitsuo watched as the blonde shrugged as well, reaching out for the raven's hand and intertwining their fingers tightly before they continued walking. While that man may have not known what he heard, Shitsuo certain he had heard a baby cry, accustomed to hearing such noises in the orphanage he lived in.

And sure enough, the cry reached his ears again. Following the noise, Shitsuo walked through the orphanage's gardens—which were really grand gardens given that the orphanage had been the former mansion of some business tycoon during the 1930s—until he came to the sakura tree that was planted in the center of the garden. Underneath the blooming tree, whose petals fell gracefully in the spring air, was a small wrapped bundle that the cries were coming from.

Shitsuo approached the bundle cautiously, peering at the face that peeked through the blanket folds. An almost silent gasp left his lips as his eyes landed on the adorable pink-faced baby with wisps of black hair. The baby was crying its poor lungs out, a steady stream of tears flowing down its chubby cheeks. And then as if it had sensed Shitsuo's presence, the baby stopped crying and looked up Shitsuo with ruby colored eyes. Shitsuo was so entranced by those eyes, there being something oddly familiar about them. He reached out to touch the baby's cheek softly, earning a giggle out of the tyke as he reached out for Shitsuo with his tiny fingers. The blonde allowed the baby to grasp one of his fingers, smiling when the baby cried out happily in response.

"Shitsuo!" he heard the headmistress's voice calling after him and getting closer. "Shitsuo, there you are! Do you have any idea of how long I was—oh my dear lord, a baby!"

The headmistress gasped as she finally got close enough to see what Shitsuo was looking over. She then rushed over, quickly picking up the baby off the ground. Shitsuo just watched as the headmistress looked around to see if there was anybody nearby that may have left the baby. But there was no one in sight.

"Oh you poor thing!" the headmistress cooed as she rocked the baby gently in her arms. "You must have been abandoned here."

The baby grimaced and started to fuss in the headmistress's arms, reaching out towards Shitsuo. The headmistress looked at Shitsuo, who looked up at her innocently.

"It seems he's taken a liking to you, Shitsuo," the headmistress commented as she held out the baby for Shitsuo to take. The young boy did so, the baby immediately calming down when he was in the blonde's arms. The headmistress smiled softly, patting Shitsuo's head, "Since you found him, Shitsuo, he's your responsibility. Why don't you give him a name?"

Shitsuo looked at the baby, wondering what name he should him. He then looked back up at the sakura tree he had found the baby under, an idea lighting up in his head. He turned to the headmistress, a smile on his face as he told her the baby's new name, "I think I'll name him Sakuraya."

Before the headmistress could comment, the baby burst out in laughter, clapping his hands happily as if he agreed with Shitsuo. The headmistress let out a cheery laugh as she ruffled Shitsuo's hair affectionately, "Well, it seems he likes the name a lot. I think you and Sakuraya are going to be very close in the future, Shitsuo."

Shitsuo beamed up the headmistress before turning to the still happy baby in his arms. He really hoped the headmistress was right because for some reason, he really liked this baby.

And he hoped Sakuraya would like him just as much.

* * *

><p>(1) This is known as an "adult adoption" in where a family usually adopts a male adult into the family to either carry on the family name or to have a nonbiological heir inherit a business. It also is something gay couples use to become legally "married" in a sense (They're not really married, but will have legal ties to each other as family). In this case, Sakuraya's father is saying that he wants to adopt Shitsuo to have Shitsuo take over his business and be legally tied to Sakuraya.<p>

**Oh this ending! ;_; I'll admit, I was sort of procrastinating on writing this chapter because I really didn't want this story to end (which is another reason why it took so long…I'm sorry guys OTL). I just loved writing ALTCL so much, and I'm sad to see that I finished up the last alternate pairing story. :(**

**But no worries everyone! :D This technically isn't the official ending yet as you all still get an extra TsukixRoppi chapter! ^^ **

**But I do hope you guys enjoyed Shitsuo and Sakuraya's story as I really found it to be the most challenging out of all of them to write. Especially since I was pretty much writing their entire characters/personalities, and I made up my own antagonist in this one, which was really hard because I felt I wasn't developing his character that well. But I'm so glad you guys stuck with me (despite me failing to update a few times during this story) and gave me so much encouragement and love! TAT You're all awesome!**

**I'll also admit that another reason why this took me so long is that I've gotten addicted to checking Shizaya tumblrs lately so that's also been distracting me. XD Shoutout to Shizaya25 and her awesome Shizaya blog that I've been completely obsessed with checking lately because the pictures and doujinshi's she posts are just so beautiful…! :')**

**In other news, since I've got finals coming up this week I apologize if it takes me a while to get back to your reviews. But just a curious question for you all…IS ANYONE GOING TO ANIME EXPO THIS YEAR?**

**If so, that's awesome, because I'll be there! ^^ Cosplaying as our favorite informant (and Kanra) too~! I'm completely psyched because I finished up the last of my Izaya cosplay a while ago and this will be my first time seriously cosplaying. And I have two awesome friends who are also going to be cosplaying Shizuo and Shiki (and Shizuka and Fem!Shiki!) with me as well! So if you're going, keep on the lookout for us and don't be shy to come up and say hi to me! :D I love new friends~ (And if any of you who are going happen to be cosplaying any Durarara characters as well, COME TAKE PICTURES WITH ME~! *w*)**

**Ahem, anyways, thank you as always guys for reading, reviewing, and all your love! ^w^**

**-Xaleria**


	29. Tsukishima & Hachimenroppi Omake

**First off, just so I can get this out of my system, ANIME EXPO WAS SO AWESOME GUYS! I had ****so much fun**** with my Izaya and Kanra cosplay, got to meet one of my**** top**** favorite Durarara Fanfic authors (^w^)~Yay!, and blew a ton of money on fabulous Durarara prints ****and an awesome wall scroll of Shizuo and Izaya (I regret nothing! …yet anyway.) Those pretty pictures now decorate the walls near my desk. *w***

**Anywho, sorry this chapter took a while because right after I came home from Anime Expo I practically had to pack up again and headed to Vegas for a week where I had such crappy internet connection and sadly, no laptop. ;_; And just to let you all know…I LIED! This **IS NOT** the last chapter! XD Because a couple of you last chapter mentioned some things about Shitsuo and Sakuraya which ended up giving me an idea and because I want to make this story end on an even number of chapters, I will be adding an extra story for Shitsuo and Sakuraya as well! Yay!**

**So enjoy this one of Tsuki and Roppi and look forward to the next one of Shitsuo and Sakuraya and that will be the final, real end! XD**

**Oh, I also have some more big news for you all at the end of this story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters****. ****Also, I don't own the cover image for this story. Unfortunately, I can't find the original artist's name as I got this image off of tumblr but all credit goes to the original artist.**

* * *

><p><strong>Tsukishima &amp; Hachimenroppi Omake<strong>

Bliss was the only word to describe the state of Tsukishima's life right now. He was fully suspended in a world of complete happiness where it seemed like nothing could go wrong and everything was just right. But maybe it was because he was so happy that he was due for something unhappy. Maybe it was some kind of divine retribution that made his blissful world crack underneath his feet, threatening to crumble completely.

"What does it mean when your lover never says that he loves you?"

Delic stopped midway in devouring his sandwich, his eyes widening at the sudden question from his usually reserved little brother. He had guessed that Tsukishima had found a lover as of late considering how often his little brother stayed at his studio than at home. Not that Delic minded; it actually gave him more chances to bring his own lover over. But he had never guessed that his little brother was just like him and in love with another man.

"Ahh…err…" Delic trailed off awkwardly as he scratched the back of his neck. His eyes flickered back and forth, too nervous to face Tsukishima full on. How the heck was he supposed to answer a question like that? Finally he sighed and asked, "Have you ever said it?"

"Plenty of times," Tsukishima answered matter-of-factly. He wasn't exactly one who shied away from "the L word" when he meant it, and he definitely meant it when it came to his lover, Hachimenroppi. Roppi was special as he was Tsukishima's first and only love. So Tsuki took every chance he got to let the raven know of his affection. And usually, he didn't mind when the raven didn't respond in the same manner.

But lately, it was starting to bug him. He and Roppi had practically been going out for over half a year already, nearing their seventh month anniversary. Wasn't it normal for couples to at least say that they "liked" each other by this time? But Roppi hadn't even said that to him even once before. And even simple shows of affection such as holding hands or even a kiss were always initiated by Tsukishima. Hachimenroppi never did any such thing on his own, and now Tsukishima was starting to lose his confidence in Roppi's feelings towards him. After all, Tsukishima had practically pressured Roppi into this relationship in the beginning. What if Roppi didn't even like him at all and was only going out with him out of pity?

"Maybe your lover's just really shy?" Delic offered, breaking Tsukishima from his depressing thoughts. The pink eyed blonde nervously glanced down at the sandwich he had abandoned. He wasn't really sure how to help his little brother considering it had taken him over six years for him and his lover to admit their true feelings to each other. So he wasn't exactly the best role model.

"I guess that could be it," Tsukishima murmured as he sighed tiredly, propping his elbow up on the table to rest his cheek on his hand. He knew Hachimenroppi had a troubled past, making him rather tentative at forming close human relationships. He had hoped, though, that he had helped Roppi get past that, even if just a little bit.

Delic tried to cheer his brother up, giving him a reassuring smile and placing a comforting hand on his little brother's shoulder, "Don't worry about it so much. Your lover will tell you his feelings when he's good and ready."

"I hope so," Tsukishima sighed wistfully. "I really do hope so."

* * *

><p><strong>Kanra:<strong> You haven't told him you love him yet? (・□・；) That's so sad Miachi! He's probably been waiting for you to say it!

**Miaka:** I know but…('A`)

**Kanra:** *sigh* (¬_¬) Miachi, you really can't do things like that! He'll get fed up and leave you!

**Miaka:** Ts-Tsuki w-would never—! Σ(OДO|||)

**Kanra:** And how do you know that? Think about it Miachi! If _you_ had a lover than never said "I love you" wouldn't you also feel insecure? I know I wouldn't stick around.

**Miaka:** …

**Kanra:** I'm telling you it's best if you let him know your feelings clearly! If you don't, both of you will just misunderstand and it'll cause problems. Believe me, it's not worth it to keep secrets about how you feel about him.

Roppi leaned back in his swivel chair, staring at his computer screen with a frown as he tapped his fingers across the desk in worry.

He had noticed recently that there was something off about Tsukishima lately. That sometimes Tsuki would look at him with a kind of longing in his eyes and a kind of pain when that desire wasn't filled. It hurt Roppi. He knew what Tsuki was expecting from him, but it wasn't easy to do what was expected.

After all, he couldn't even remember the last time he had said "the L word" to anyone. It wasn't exactly a word that easily left his lips or a word that he really liked to say.

But he _did _like Tsuki, possibly loved him even. But that didn't make it any easier to say the word, heck much less even think it. Roppi was caught in an unpleasant spot right now, and he wasn't sure how to get out of it.

_Setton has entered the chat room._

**Kanra: **It's Set-chan! ( ^_^)/ Hi！

**Miaka:** Hello…

**Setton:** ? What's the matter Miaka? You seem unhappy.

Roppi couldn't help the small smile that played on his lips. Celty was always so perceptive and knew when something was troubling him. It was nice that she was so caring towards him. But just as Roppi moved to type out his response to her, his online friend beat him to the punch.

**Kanra:** MIACHI HASN'T TOLD HIS LOVER THAT HE LOVES HIM YET!

**Miaka: **K-Kanra—!

**Setton:** Ehh! You haven't told him yet? Haven't you guys been dating for seven months now?

Roppi groaned as he covered his face with his hand. He really wished Kanra hadn't blurted it all out so suddenly to Celty, but he couldn't help it now. But he sure was embarrassed at how trivial his problem was starting to sound. Was it really so normal for people to say "the L word" at this point in a relationship? He just didn't understand it. But maybe that was because before he had met Tsuki, he had never known was love was truly like.

**Miaka: **Is it really that bad that I haven't said it to him yet?

**Setton: **…well, everyone goes at their own pace…

**Kanra: **Oh please Set-chan! Stop being so nice! We both know it's strange that Miachi hasn't said "I love you" yet to his lover. Have you at least ever said anything back whenever he says it to you, even if it's not an "I love you"?

Hachimenroppi paused to think about it, his face burning with shame when he realized he hadn't even done that much. Whenever Tsuki had said those words to him, all he had done was become very quiet and shy to meet Tsukishima's eyes.

But shouldn't Kanra cut him some slack at least? After all, he knew about Roppi's past! It wasn't easy for the raven to accept such affections. But he also didn't want Tsukishima to start drifting away from him.

**Miaka: **What do you think I should do?

**Kanra:** I have a great idea that I think your lover will appreciate! All you need is some strawberries, whip cream, chocolate sauce, sexy, lacy underwear, and—

**Miaka:** I AM ABSOLUTELY _**NOT**_ DOING WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT.

**Kanra: **Aww, you're no fun, Miachi. You won't even get the sexy underwear?

**Miaka:** No. ヽ(ｏ`皿′ｏ)ﾉ

**Kanra: **Hmph, fine. (-`д´-) You have any ideas then, Set-chan?

**Setton: **Maybe you don't need to tell Tsuki-san that you love him.

**Miaka:** Eh?

Roppi tilted his head slightly in confusion. What was Celty saying? Wasn't the whole point of this conversation was that they were telling him it wasn't normal that he hadn't told Tsuki he loved him yet?

**Setton: **What I mean to say is, maybe you don't need to actually say "I love you" to him. Sometimes you can express emotions through actions, and that can be much more powerful than words. I mean, how else would Shinra ever know how I feel about him since I can't exactly say "I love you" all the time either? I think the best way to show Tsukishima how you feel about him is doing something that you don't normally do that shows how much you car for him.

Roppi stopped to mull over Celty's words. They made a lot more sense than what Kanra was suggesting. But how would he show Tsuki? What was something that he could do? How exactly did one express "love" through action?

**Miaka:** …I think I understand what you mean, but…I still don't know what to do.

**Setton: **Well, think about it Miaka, what's something that is out of the norm for you to do that you could do for Tsuki-san?

Hachimenroppi stopped to think about it, going over all of things that Tsukishima always did for him. He grew discouraged when he realized that he actually depended on Tsukishima for a lot of things. While Roppi had learned how to be independent when he had finally separated from his parents, since starting his relationship with Tsukishima he had slowly allowed the blonde to pamper and take care of him. He was surprised to see how much he had actually relied on and trusted Tsukishima.

But that made his job now much harder. If Tsukishima did practically everything for him, what else could he do for Tsukishima?

**Kanra:** I know what you can do!

Roppi waited patiently as Kanra typed out the rest of his message.

**Kanra:** People say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, right? So why not make Tsuki-chan a delicious meal full of your rabu rabu~! ~(^w^)~ *hearts*

Hmm, cooking a meal was doable for Roppi. After all, he had to learn how to cook or he would have starved as a kid since his parents never paid any mind to him.

**Kanra: **And while you're at it, why not bake a cake or make some chocolate for him? You said he likes sweets, so what better way to end the night then with something sweet? And you could also give him another treat by being completely naked under your apron and greeting him at the door with, "Hello darling~ Would you like dinner, a bath or…me~?"

Roppi blushed furiously at Kanra's last comment, shaking his head profusely at the idea of doing something so humiliating and demeaning. But the first part of what Kanra said wasn't bad. Tsuki _did _like sweet things a lot. Although Hachimenroppi had never really baked before, but there was a first time for anything right? And he was trying to do something for Tsukishima.

**Miaka: **I think I'll just stick to cooking and making a cake.

**Kanra: **Killjoy

**Setton: **Sounds wonderful, Miaka! Good luck!

**Miaka: **Thanks

He was going to need all the luck he could get.

* * *

><p>"Oohh!" Roppi huffed in frustration as he slammed the pan down on the counter a bit too harshly. It was his third ruined cake. He wasn't sure what he was doing wrong to end up with cakes that were overcooked, undercooked, and fell flat, but he was really starting to get irritated and worried. He had come to Tsuki's studio to cook, intending to surprise the blonde when he came back from school, and he had made dinner with no problem as it sat warm in the microwave. But once he had started on the cake, well, the results were disastrous.<p>

Sighing, Roppi wondered if he should just give up on making dessert and stick with just dinner. Or maybe he had enough time to run to the store and buy a cake. Turning to look at the clock, Roppi accidentally knocked his hand into the bowl that held the chocolate ganache he was going to cover the cake in. The bowl spun and toppled over the counter. Roppi quickly moved, trying to catch it before it came into contact with the ground, but he only succeeding in getting some ganache on his face, chest, and legs as he tripped and fell to the ground with it.

"Dammit!" he swore as he tried to sit up without slipping on the spilled chocolate. He glared at the offensive bowl of sweet darkness and sighed tiredly. Tsukishima could be home at any second now and he had this entire mess to clean up!

This was all Kanra's fault.

Sighing irritably again, Roppi moved to clean up the floor and pick up the bowl to place in the sink before he looked down at himself. Everything he wore was stained by chocolate. _I probably should have worn Tsuki's blue apron after all,_ he thought with regret as he remembered that he had no more spare clothes leftover at Tsuki's home. He would have to wash his clothes now. Glancing at the clock, Roppi saw that he had a little more time before Tsukishima would be getting out of class and coming home. It was enough time to wash the chocolate out of his clothes and stick in the dryer on high real quick.

Moving to strip off his clothes to throw them into the washer, Roppi froze in mid-action when he heard the click of the door being open.

"I'm home," Tsuki murmured, kicking off his shoes as his eyes caught the extra pair by the entrance. "Roppi? Are you—"

Tsukishima looked up, his body jerking to a stop as his eyes widened and his cheeks heated up. Standing in front of him a few feet away next to the open kitchen was his lover in the middle of pulling off his shirt, revealing the soft-looking, milky skin of his stomach. The blonde swallowed drily as he eyed the unblemished skin wistfully, in the back of his mind thinking of how much he would like to lick and mark that skin all over as Tsuki's eyes trailed up to Roppi's confused and reddened face. He just looked so adorable and vulnerable, easy enough to push down and—what was he thinking?

His entire face red with embarrassment, Tsukishima quickly threw up his hands innocently and turned away, hastily saying, "I-I-I'm s-sorry, Roppi! I-I didn't mean to—! It's just—! Why—? Ah, um—"

At a loss for words and thoroughly embarrassed, Tsukishima just turned so that his back was facing Hachimenroppi. "S-sorry…"

Roppi wished he could just crawl into a hole and die right now. He didn't think Tsukishima would get back home early and catch him like this. At the moment, he really just wanted to run away and hope that in some time he would finally be able to show his face to Tsukishima again. But he had caught the brief look of desire in Tsukishima's eyes before the blonde had turned away. He wondered why Tsuki was holding himself back?

"Ah…w-we-welcome h-home…" Hachimenroppi whispered so softly he wondered if Tsukishima had even heard him. He blushed fiercely as he tugged at the edges of his shirt suddenly feeling very exposed despite the fact that he was still fully clothed. His head spinning as he stammered nervously, "I-I made dinner…"

That earned him a surprised look from the blonde who then smiled happily, "Now what brought this about?"

"Ah…um, I just wanted to do something for you," Roppi muttered shyly as he glanced at the ground. He shook slightly as he twisted his fingers together. "Because I—I…"

_Say it!_ his conscience urged him on. _Say it!_

"I…"

_Say it! How hard is it to say two little words? _his inner self chastised himself. _Why are you so afraid of one word?_

Roppi was trembling now, his knuckles turning white from clenching his hands too tightly. The words felt caught in his throat as he felt his eyes sting with threatening tears of frustration. It really shouldn't be this difficult to say those last two words. But fear paralyzed him on that spot as his voice cracked slightly, his throat feeling dry. "I—"

Before he could even continue Roppi was overwhelmed with the sudden warmth of Tsukishima wrapping his arms around the raven.

"It's okay," the blonde whispered reassuringly in his ear. His hold on Hachimenroppi tightened slightly, his silent way of telling the raven that he understood. He understood the words that Roppi was so desperately trying to convey yet couldn't find the strength to say. "You don't have to force yourself to say it."

All the anxiety over wondering what Roppi's true feelings were left Tsukishima then. He was relieved and happy that the raven actually felt the same for him. Although Hachimenroppi couldn't say the words, just seeing him do all this was enough for Tsukishima. He knew that if Roppi really didn't care for him, he wouldn't have done any of this.

This was his way to show affection, and that was all Tsukishima needed for now. Later on, when Hachimenroppi grew more comfortable around him and could let go of what happened in his past, he hoped then Roppi would finally be able to say those words without fear.

"Y-You're getting chocolate all over yourself…" Roppi muttered, trying to distract himself from the fluttering butterflies of happiness in his stomach as he pushed Tsuki away softly.

"Then I guess we'll both just have to wash up together," Tsuki said with a suggestive wink that made Hachimenroppi turn all pink in the face again. The blonde then eyed the chocolate ganache still on Roppi's face, the raven looking at him warily.

"What?" Roppi wondered before he froze in surprise, gaping at the blonde who had reached down and licked up the chocolate on his cheek. All he could was sputter incoherent words as Tsukishima pulled away with a devious smile and twinkle in his eyes.

"Mm, tastes pretty good. I think I want to have my dessert first."

"Eh but—!" Roppi didn't have a chance to protest as he was swept off his feet, Tsuki heading over to couch that could fold out into a bed with the raven in his arms.

"I love you, Roppi," Tsuki declared confidently as he gently placed Hachimenroppi onto the couch, trapping the raven between his arms. His scarlet eyes looked down at Roppi's own seriously as he repeated, "I love you very much, Roppi. Do you love me?"

His face burning with happy embarrassment once again, Roppi shyly hid behind his hands as he quietly murmured his response.

"Yeah, I do."

Tsuki only smiled widely before he proceeded to "enjoy his dessert".

* * *

><p><strong>Well, I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting to end this extra like that. I debated whether I would add a lime or lemon scene, but since their main story was really fluffy and cute I decided to stick to that. ^^ And writing this, I learned how much I love writing Delic and Tsuki as brothers. They would be the most adorable bro pair ever!<strong>

**Ahem, anyway guys, I have great news for you all! :D I succumbed to the supposed usefulness it will be to me and created a tumblr blog solely dedicated to my fanfiction works. On this blog you'll get to see me mostly be random during my writing process, but you'll also get to see some goodies like sneak peeks of future stories I'm planning or very short stories I write on spur of the moment I don't publish here on FF . Net! You'll also get some updates from me about my writing status that way if something unexpected comes up, I'm not always posting author note chapters because I really detest those. XD Ohh, and feel free to ask me questions or send me story suggestions as well! I would love to hear your guys' ideas! ^^ Here's the link to my blog and if you go now, I actually have a little surprise for you all! **xaleria . tumblr . com

**As always, thanks so much everyone for being patient, reading, and reviewing! Love you all and promise to have Shitsuo and Sakuraya's Omake up soon!**

**-Xaleria**


	30. Shitsuo & Sakuraya Omake

**Let me just say, THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE! ;w; Never before have I ever had any of my stories as much loved as this one. I especially want to thank all of you who constantly reviewed (I would list all of you but that would be a very long list XD) and stuck with me through this entire story. Your words of encouragement were always the best motivators for me~ I also appreciate everyone who took the time to review my story even though you guys said you usually don't review, all you anon reviewers (and I'm sorry I didn't reply to all of you as often as I would have liked to), all you secret readers who've been with me since the beginning or later, Llumina who drew me the prettiest fanart that I still spazz over, and all of you lovely people who leave me long reviews! I RABU ALL OF YOUS! *throws a bunch of pretty heart confetti and cookies for everyone***

**Anyway, here's Shitsuo and Sakuraya's omake! I hope you enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters****. ****Also, I don't own the cover image for this story. Unfortunately, I can't find the original artist's name as I got this image off of tumblr but all credit goes to the original artist.**

* * *

><p><strong>Shitsuo &amp; Sakuraya Omake<strong>

**1935 Tokyo, Japan**

The almost silent swish of the silk enchanted him as he delicately ran the pads of his fingers down the lush, soft fabric. He then carefully allowed himself to rub the edges of an elegant 3D flower decoration that was sewn with many other flowers in an intricate pattern on the sheer outer layer of the kimono. The pure white flowers stood out against the bright, blushing pink color of the kimono that was his favorite color. Although he somewhat wanted to be traditional and wear a completely white kimono on his wedding day, pink seemed more fitting. Besides, the reason why brides wore white was to reflect their purity, which was something he definitely did not have if his late nights with his lover were any indication.

A happy smile curling up on his lips, Sakuraya thought about his lover—and soon-to-be-husband—Shitsuo. So much had happened between them in the past couple years, some of it happy and some of it sad. But now was a time for celebration. After harboring a love for each other since they were young, innocent children, Shitsuo and Sakuraya were finally going to be tied to each other eternally. Today was the day Sakuraya had been hoping for since he became aware of his feelings towards Shitsuo.

The sound of the door creaking open caused Sakuraya to look up from admiring his dress.

"You know it's not going to be of any use if you just keep staring at it. Why haven't you put it on yet?" An almost perfect reflection of Sakuraya stood in the doorway as the young man placed his hands on his hips, raising an eyebrow in question. Like Sakuraya, this youth was pale, slim, and had inky black hair. The only difference was his deep blue eyes and his fiery personality. At first, Sakuraya had been a bit unsettled by Shitsuo's former lover, Michael Williams, but after getting to know him a little, Sakuraya and Michael had become the best of friends. He was, in fact, playing the role of Sakuraya's maid of honor.

"I just wanted to look at it a little more," Sakuraya told Michael with a wistful sigh. "It's very beautiful."

"Well it would look even more beautiful on you," Michael pointed out as he moved to take the kimono off its hanging rack to help Sakuraya dress. "Especially when you walk down the aisle later."

Although Sakuraya had opted to wear a traditional style Japanese wedding dress for the day, they were going to have a Western style wedding since his family and lover had adopted Western ways due to their international import business. But they had allowed Sakuraya to choose what kind of dress he wanted to wear since it was his special day, and Sakuraya had always felt more comfortable in kimonos than Western clothes. Besides, Sakuraya knew that his lover enjoyed seeing him in his white and pink kimono than his Western clothes. The kimono was kind of a wedding gift for Shitsuo, since the blonde hadn't seen what kind of dress Sakuraya had picked.

"Come on now," Michael urged as he held the kimono open for Sakuraya. He winked as he added with a smile, "You wouldn't want to keep your future husband waiting any longer, would you?"

"No, of course we wouldn't want that," Sakuraya played along as he returned Michael's smile, getting up to dress.

Over half an hour later, Sakuraya stood in front of a full length mirror, staring at his reflection in awe. The skirt of his kimono trailed onto the floor, fanning out at his feet as it seemed like the flower decorations were growing on it. The pink color of the kimono contrasted against his pale skin nicely. Light, natural makeup had been applied to his face so that it looked like it was glowing. Faint, pink lipstick had been painted on his lips, making them look plump and full. White and pink eye shadow made his scarlet eyes appear brighter as dark eyelashes curled up, widening his eyes.

"Beautiful," Michael murmured next to him, expressing Sakuraya's thoughts exactly. He was beautiful. So much so that he almost started to cry. He had always been described as a beauty, but he had never thought of himself as one until now. Sakuraya was happy that he could look so beautiful today especially for his lover.

"Thank you, Michael," Sakuraya turned to his friend with a soft smile, giving Michael's hands that were clasped in his a little, loving squeeze.

Michael only smiled back, clenching Sakuraya's hands just as tightly, "Don't start crying on me now, you'll ruin your makeup and Shitsuo will be upset with me that the wedding was delayed because I had to redo your makeup."

Sakuraya laughed out loud, knowing that was certainly true as he held back his tears of happiness. He then allowed Michael to lead him to the entertainment room where their little wedding ceremony was being held. Considering it wasn't legal for two men to marry in Japan the ceremony was mostly informal and the only people in attendance were their close friends and family. Sakuraya's own father would be acting as their priest.

But it didn't matter that the government wouldn't recognize Sakuraya and Shitsuo as married. The only thing that mattered was that _they both knew_. No matter where they would go or what people said, they would be forever bound to each other after today. Because they would promise. They would promise themselves to each other forever.

"Are you ready?" Michael questioned as he and Sakuraya stood in front of the double doors leading to the room the ceremony was held in. Sakuraya only nodded, afraid to speak and have his voice crack with excitement as his heart thumped loudly in his chest.

He tried to resist the urge to run down the aisle as Michael opened the doors and Sakuraya saw his lover waiting for him at the end.

Shitsuo never looked as handsome as he did then, decked in a white tuxedo with pink accents, a small branch of cherry blossoms placed in the small pocket where one would usually place a small scarf or rose. His honey eyes were sparkling with anticipation and happiness, a wide smile spread across his face. The smile only widened when he finally saw Sakuraya.

There was almost no need for the ceremony when their eyes finally met each other, because they already knew they would always only love each other.

* * *

><p><strong>Present Time Tokyo, Japan<strong>

The headmistress, Yasu, sighed tiredly as she looked at her two charges with pity. She was quite surprised to be troubled by these two, who were normally her best behaved children, but she also understood as to why there was a sudden change in their attitude.

"We found them trying to hop on a train to Kyoto," the police officer informed Yasu as another officer kept a tight grip on the two children's shoulder. "Tried to run away from us again, but we were able to apprehend them with no further trouble."

"Thank you officer," Yasu smiled gratefully at the man, moving to take charge of the two kids. "I'll make sure that this won't happen again."

"You're welcome, Ms. Have a nice night." The officers tipped their hats and then left, leaving Yasu in the entranceway with two guilty looking children.

First glancing at the older, blonde boy, who had recently turned sixteen, Yasu wondered how Shitsuo could even act like this. He was normally a responsible boy who Yasu treated like her own son. As if he could sense her slight disappointment in him, Shitsuo turned up his honey brown eyes to look at Yasu before he looked back at the ground again.

Shaking her head and then turning to Shitsuo's raven-haired companion, Yasu felt a small tug on her heart when she spotted tears building up in the corners of the small boy's scarlet eyes. Just eight years of age, Sakuraya was barely over half the size of Shitsuo as he tried so hard to hold back his tears.

The reason why the two of them had even attempted to run away together in the first place was because a couple had come in a few days ago and was interested in adopting Sakuraya. But the young boy, who had been under Shitsuo's care since the blonde had found him as a baby in the orphanage's garden, didn't want to be separated from the blonde, and Yasu had a feeling that—despite the fact that he never vocally said so—Shitsuo also didn't want to be separated.

Sighing once again, Yasu wondered what she was going to do. She also didn't really have the heart to separate the two of them, but if the couple really wanted Sakuraya, it wasn't like she could say no.

"Yasu-san!" a voice wailed as Sakuraya finally gave up and started crying, propelling himself towards Yasu and hugging the woman's waist tightly. "Please don't give me away! I don't want to leave! I want to stay here!"

Yasu opened her mouth to reply, but she found she couldn't say anything to reassure the boy. By tomorrow, that couple would come back to sign the papers and make the adoption official. There wasn't anything else she could do.

Instead of giving false hope to the boy, she tried her best to smile and leaned downward so that she could be face to face with Sakuraya. "Sakuraya, why don't you sleep with Shitsuo tonight? You'll need a lot of sleep for tomorrow. Shitsuo?"

Knowing that his name was more of an order to take Sakuraya away than a question, Shitsuo nodded solemnly and led Sakuraya to his room, Sakuraya quietly sobbing beside him. The sound of the door closing behind them was the most hollow and saddest thing Shitsuo had ever heard in his life.

Turning his attention to the crying Sakuraya beside him, Shitsuo tried to calm him down, even though he felt like crying as well. "Shhh, it's okay, Sakuraya. Everything will be fine, I promise."

"W-Why!" Sakuraya cried out. "Why can't I stay with you? Why are they telling me that I have to leave? I don't want to!"

"But Sakuraya," Shitsuo tried to get him to see reason. "This is your chance to finally have a family. Don't you want that?"

"I don't need that! I just need you, Shitsuo!" Shitsuo was surprised when Sakuraya suddenly hugged him tightly, his voice small and afraid as he spoke. "Please don't leave me…"

"I don't want to leave you, Sakuraya," Shitsuo whispered comfortingly to the raven, feeling his own arms also squeeze Sakuraya in need. He knew he selfishly wanted to keep Sakuraya with him, but he also knew that the raven had expressed his desire to have real parents since he had never known his own. So as much as he wanted to keep Sakuraya there, he didn't want Sakuraya to lose his only chance at finally knowing what a real family was like. Searching through his head for some way to reassure the raven, Shitsuo finally came up with an idea. He would have to lie to Sakuraya, but it would be for his own good. "Listen, Sakuraya, there's a way for us to stay together forever so do you want to know what it is?"

"Eh?" Sakuraya questioned as he finally stopped crying, wiping away the last of his tears. "There's something like that?"

Shitsuo nodded, biting his lip in worry as he mentally asked Sakuraya to forgive him for misleading him later. "People who love each other a lot do this so that they can be together for the rest of their lives. They become family."

"So you'll become my family?"

"That's right. If I become your family that means no matter where you go, I can always go to you and you can always come to me. We'll always be there for each other."

Sakuraya's eyes shone with anticipation and hope now, his mouth curling up in an excited smile. "I want to know! How do we become family? What do I do?"

"Well," Shitsuo thought about it before he explained, "First, we have to give each other rings that way people know we're together."

"But we don't have any rings," Sakuraya pointed out, looking suddenly dejected.

Quickly thinking, Shitsuo looked around his room for anything to replace the rings and thought of something. He ran to his desk and opened the book he had there, pulling out a tan bookmark that had pressed sakura blossoms on it. Yasu had given it to him the day he had found Sakuraya as a keepsake. Grabbing a pair of scissors, Shitsuo cut the bookmark in half down the middle, two blossoms on each side.

"Here," Shitsuo held out the other half to Sakuraya. "Since we don't have rings, I'll give you this half to keep and I'll keep the other one."

Sakuraya took the bookmark into his hands, surprised that Shitsuo had given him his prized keepsake. Shitsuo had always treated it with care. His mood picking back up, Sakuraya asked, "What else do we have to do?"

"Now we promise to care for each other forever," Shitsuo told him, moving the two of them so that they faced each other. He then frowned as he realized something was missing. "Wait a moment."

Moving to the bed, Shitsuo grabbed the white sheet on there and threw it up in the air, flattening it out before he placed it around Sakuraya's head like a veil. Smiling in satisfaction, Shitsuo took his place back in front of Sakuraya and held the boy's small, pale hands in his own.

"Do you, Sakuraya," Shitsuo began, looking into Sakuraya's scarlet eyes who stared at his own. It was slightly unsettling, feeling Sakuraya's eyes bore into him. He felt his heart pounding loudly in his chest as he continued, "promise to care for me and to cherish me for the rest of our lives?"

"I do," Sakuraya nodded confidently.

Shitsuo couldn't help the smile that crept onto his face as he went on, "And I, Shitsuo, also promise to care for you and cherish you for the rest of our lives."

There was a moment of silence before Sakuraya whispered, "What do we do now?"

Shitsuo felt his cheeks heat up as he remembered the next part. "Well…they normally seal the promise by kissing each other, but we don't have to—"

Before he could finish, though, Sakuraya stood up on his toes and placed his lips against Shitsuo's. It was a soft and innocent kiss of a kid, but it practically made Shitsuo feel like stars were exploding in his chest.

Sakuraya then pulled away from Shitsuo with a wide smile, "Don't forget what we promised now, Shitsuo."

Getting over his shock, Shitsuo returned Sakuraya's smile, chuckling, "As if I could ever forget."

* * *

><p><strong>Eleven years later…<strong>

"_Sakuraya, come by my office later, there's someone I want you to meet…"_

The nineteen-years-old, scarlet eyed raven waved in greeting to his father's secretary as he headed towards his father's office. He wondered what his father could want. Despite living with the man for eleven years, his father was still hard to figure out. Smiling, Sakuraya remembered when he first met his adoptive father and mother. At first, he had been afraid of them, but later, when he finally relented and met his adoptive parents, he found that they were not bad people. In fact, they were kindest adults he had ever met, besides Yasu of course. And he was even more surprised to find that his new father was a successful entrepreneur. It was strange how everything worked out.

Thinking of his past, Sakuraya frowned as he remembered that although he had gained new parents, he had ended up losing someone very dear to him in the process. Sakuraya instinctively reached up and placed his hand over the pocket—the one near his heart—he always placed the half bookmark in. He wondered if Shitsuo still remembered their promise. Chuckling, Sakuraya shook his head as he remembered what a naïve kid he had been back then. He wondered if Shitsuo had lied to him on purpose about the marriage thing.

Looking up at his father's door as he finally reached the office, Sakuraya knocked on it, hearing his father inside, "Come in," and more quietly, "that must be my son, the one I was telling you about…"

"You wanted to see me, father?" Sakuraya called out as he opened the door, stepping inside. But he stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted the other person in the room.

"Ah, Sakuraya, come in. I wanted to introduce my new top executive to you. Sakuraya, this is Shitsuo. He just came in from England today."

Despite the fact that it had been eleven years since he had last seen him, he still looked the same overall. His face had grown a bit more angular and his honey eyes seemed wiser, but his blonde hair still fell in messy disarray that actually suited him and his smile was still the same one from Sakuraya's memories.

"It's nice to see you again, Sakuraya," Shitsuo said, moving to offer his hand for Sakuraya to shake. During that moment, Sakuraya saw the half bookmark sticking out of Shitsuo's inner pocket—close to his heart—and a smile broke out across his face.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm sorry this took me a while to post. OTL It was supposed to be up earlier today but I ended up rewriting the end. XD<strong>

**But thank you again guys for loving this story! I'm so sad to have ended it already, but I do hope you guys can look forward to my next fanfic! ^^ I'm still working on it, but I hope to have the first chapter up soon~ I'm quite excited about this one. **

**Also, just because I've ended this story doesn't mean I won't revisit it. Those of you who follow my tumblr blog may see me write some extra stuff for this on there in the future! Not entirely sure when and if I do, but it's highly possible because I just love these stories. ;w; (And Delic, Hibiya, Psyche, and Tsugaru still deserve some omake love). **

**Ohhh and for those who want to see Sakuraya's beautiful wedding dress, I'll be posting a picture on my blog later! My blog can be found here: xaleria . tumblr . com (Remember to remove the spaces). **

**Till next time everyone! :)**

**-Xaleria**


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